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My Goth/Punk Prince
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
2,750
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
9
Views:
2,750
Reviews:
32
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Friendly Confessions
OoC|| To my loyal reviewers who make me giggle and giddy:
yami990 ~ Thank you, I plan to. xX
CorneredIn A Tub ~ Yesh. So true. And I love his name. Carson. -grin- Maybe things will be revealed in this chapter. Maybe not. You will just have to read and see for yourself.
Kat ~ Cliffhangers are so much fun, though! Yes. I am a mean person. ><
Once again, thank you all. Reviewing means so much to me and encourages me to write more. Plus, they always put a smile on my face and you /do/ want me to smile, yes?
Onto the story! ||
The kiss was soft, gentle, passionate. Our eyes stayed open through it, never closing. The kiss was slow, not progressing to anything more as we stood there in the family locker room, bodies molding together. I felt confused. I thought he had rejected me. Shunned me. So why was he now kissing me? Thoughts like this floated dangerously around my mind.
Carson. My Goth/Punk Prince. Why are you doing this to me? Why are your lips against me? I feel your body molding with mine, your arms snaking around my neck. There’s little space between us. Your lips are becoming more demanding. Parting and shaping and pressing against my own.
Then he was gone. Baking away like before. His eyes were wide and…frightened? Oh, My Goth/Punk Prince, what is going on? I studied his face as he quickly became farther and farther from me. I missed his warmth. His body. His lips. Makeup still covered his skin, smeared everywhere from his tears. Lipstick was smudged around his swollen lips from the kiss. How I wished to feel them upon me again.
“ I didn’t…I’m sorry…I…” His words floated from his mouth. “ I never meant…I’m sorry…”
He kept walking away from me. Backing towards the door. All I could do was stand there, watching him leave. Carson, what is wrong? I do not understand. How do you feel? About me and you? Do you think you have done wrong? Do you regret kissing me? Do you believe that I manipulated you? How do you feel about me? Do you feel as I feel? Are you wondering as I wonder? What I wouldn’t give to understand. My dear, sweet Goth/Punk Prince…I want to understand. Everything. I want you to understand. Everything.
My large aqua eyes watched as he turned quickly to get to the door faster. Still I stood, planted. I no longer feel like my mind is trying to walk through quicksand. I’ve given up. Now I’m just drowning. In the pain, the hurt, the rejection. But can I say this? Really? He did kiss me. Had felt, does feel, that he did something wrong. I have to find out. I can’t just let him walk away! I drove here to find him, to talk to him, to see him again and now I’m just going to let him escape me, in tears no less? No. I can’t.
My Goth/Punk Prince was frantically trying to unlock the door. To turn the bolt. But it wouldn’t move. His hands were shaking and he just couldn’t grasp it. If he was crying again, maybe he couldn’t even see it. I pushed one leg forward and then the other. With each step I willed myself to go faster. I did. Soon I was jogging over to him. Just as he managed to unlock the door and throw it open, I slammed it back shut, arm reaching over his shoulder.
“No. Don’t go. Please.” I pleaded.
His shoulders slumped forward, face downcast, but he turned towards me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I watched, amazed, as he started chanting the words softly over and over again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so-.”
“Stop.” I had to interrupt. I had to find out. “What are you sorry for?”
I tried to be calm. No only for me, but for him. He was really worked up. I’d never seen him like this.
“I…I kissed you…I touched you…I’m sorry…” His voice was shaky, cracking half way through and barely audible. But I had heard. All of it.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked softly of him.
I didn’t want him to try and leave again. I’d have to take things slow. One step at a time. I was glad when he nodded. Once. Twice.
“Are you gay?” His eyes shot up to my face. Had I been too blunt? Oh, well.
I stared into the depth of the darkest of green. So beautiful. His mouth opened and for a second I feared he would not be able to speak. But then he did. Again quietly, though this time more hesitantly.
“Y-yes…Yes I am.” He paused, thinking. “ I realized I was when…When you left.”
Did that mean…? No. I wouldn’t think of this now. I had to keep going, while he was still opening to me.
“Are you mad at me?” Carson gave me a questioning look.
“No. I could never be mad at you. Your parents, yes, but never you.”
“Then why didn’t you talk to me?” I asked quickly. Maybe accusingly.
“I…I was hurt…I had…a lot on my mind…” His words trailed off. His eyes were still on mine. Maybe he was holding my gaze and not the other way around. He always had to be in control one way or another. I smiled inside. “I’m sorry.” He added in the end. Always sorry.
“Why were you hurt?”
“Why do you think I was hurt?” He was no longer speaking softly. He was almost yelling, exasperated. Back to his normal temperamental self. “You go to camp, saying we’ll do something as soon as you get back. I see your parents packing up your house and ask what’s going on and all they do is spew bullshit about how I’m a ‘horrible little bastard for twisting their son’ or ‘ stay the hell away from Jesse’. Then your house is sold and you never come back! God, Jess, why do you fucking think I hurt!?”
He was yelling by the end, standing straight and willing me to argue with him. But that’s not what pained me. It was knowing, for the first time, an extent of what he felt as when I disappeared from his life for a year. I had tried to talk to him. But by the time I was able to send him a message I had been blocked from him completely. It really wasn’t my fault that my parents watched everyone I talked to on the computer or on the phone.
His shoulders began to slouch again and his eyes looked away. My Goth/Punk Prince, do not be ashamed. You have every right to yell at me. To hate me. And I’m sorry. For everything I’ve said and done. I never mean to harm you and yet I do. And It’s killing me.
“I’m sorry…” He spoke those two words again. He really apologized too much.
“Shut up.” I couldn’t help it. I had to get him to stop. For him to see that he wasn’t at fault in any way.
“W-what?”
“ I said, Shut. Up.” I smirked at him. I couldn’t help this either.
“Y-“ I cut him off. I have no idea what he was about to say and I knew I would never find out. You see, I did something that made him completely forget that train of thought. I, myself, forgot to even ask him what he was going to say. It’s just not really that important.
This time, it was me who was pressing my lips to his. It felt so good. Unexplainable. It was my arms that snaked around his waist, pulling his body against mine. I heard him whimper, melting in my embrace. There was more heat this time. I guess that was because I was so sure of what I was doing. So sure that this was right. To my disappointment, the need for air pulled us apart.
Carson. My Goth/Punk Prince. He was breathing quickly. Panting for air. It made me happy to know I had done that to him. The familiar bubbly sensation when I was around him was returning to me. I smiled.
“ You. You kissed me?” He asked, unsure of whether or not it was real. It made me laugh. Something I hadn’t done in the longest of time.
“Yes I kissed you, you idiot!” I managed to spit out between gasps of laughter.
He was just standing there. My Goth/Punk Prince. You are so naïve. So confused.
“But…why?” He was asking me crisply, as if preparing himself for the worst.
“Why? Why did I kiss you? Gods, Carson, why does anyone kiss?” I asked incredulously.
“But you can’t…You’re not bi…”
“You’re right, I’m not bi. I’m gay.” I smiled at the dumbfounded look on his face. How could I not? His hard green eyes were so wide and puffy, eyelashes wet from his tears. And his makeup. It was everywhere. He just looked so damn funny.
“You’re gay? Gay?! I never thought…When did-“ I cut him off again.
“When I left. Same as you. I-“ And he cut me off.
“So that’s why you kissed me? Because you’re gay too?” He sounded hurt.
“Damn it, Carson! Shut up!,” I my voice rose to shake away all of this thoughts. So that he would just hear what I was saying. Hear the meaning of my words. Knowing I had his attention, I spoke normally. “When my parents picked me up from camp, I had no idea that we were moving. I was looking forward to seeing you. To spending time with you. But then we never went home. We went somewhere else. Then they told me. Just not about what they had said to you. I was clueless. When I asked about you they would always change the subject or say I could never go come back here. Meaning, I couldn’t go back to you.
“They never gave me the chance to contact you in any way. Not on the phone or on the computer. When I finally could, it was too late. You had blocked me out. I can’t tell you how much it hurt. How it ripped me apart. I felt like I was dying. Don’t you see how I feel? Why I came back? Carson…I care about you.” There. I had done it. I had spewed my inner most soul to him. Given my self over. And now. And now I was in his mercy.
OoC|| Review!||
yami990 ~ Thank you, I plan to. xX
CorneredIn A Tub ~ Yesh. So true. And I love his name. Carson. -grin- Maybe things will be revealed in this chapter. Maybe not. You will just have to read and see for yourself.
Kat ~ Cliffhangers are so much fun, though! Yes. I am a mean person. ><
Once again, thank you all. Reviewing means so much to me and encourages me to write more. Plus, they always put a smile on my face and you /do/ want me to smile, yes?
Onto the story! ||
The kiss was soft, gentle, passionate. Our eyes stayed open through it, never closing. The kiss was slow, not progressing to anything more as we stood there in the family locker room, bodies molding together. I felt confused. I thought he had rejected me. Shunned me. So why was he now kissing me? Thoughts like this floated dangerously around my mind.
Carson. My Goth/Punk Prince. Why are you doing this to me? Why are your lips against me? I feel your body molding with mine, your arms snaking around my neck. There’s little space between us. Your lips are becoming more demanding. Parting and shaping and pressing against my own.
Then he was gone. Baking away like before. His eyes were wide and…frightened? Oh, My Goth/Punk Prince, what is going on? I studied his face as he quickly became farther and farther from me. I missed his warmth. His body. His lips. Makeup still covered his skin, smeared everywhere from his tears. Lipstick was smudged around his swollen lips from the kiss. How I wished to feel them upon me again.
“ I didn’t…I’m sorry…I…” His words floated from his mouth. “ I never meant…I’m sorry…”
He kept walking away from me. Backing towards the door. All I could do was stand there, watching him leave. Carson, what is wrong? I do not understand. How do you feel? About me and you? Do you think you have done wrong? Do you regret kissing me? Do you believe that I manipulated you? How do you feel about me? Do you feel as I feel? Are you wondering as I wonder? What I wouldn’t give to understand. My dear, sweet Goth/Punk Prince…I want to understand. Everything. I want you to understand. Everything.
My large aqua eyes watched as he turned quickly to get to the door faster. Still I stood, planted. I no longer feel like my mind is trying to walk through quicksand. I’ve given up. Now I’m just drowning. In the pain, the hurt, the rejection. But can I say this? Really? He did kiss me. Had felt, does feel, that he did something wrong. I have to find out. I can’t just let him walk away! I drove here to find him, to talk to him, to see him again and now I’m just going to let him escape me, in tears no less? No. I can’t.
My Goth/Punk Prince was frantically trying to unlock the door. To turn the bolt. But it wouldn’t move. His hands were shaking and he just couldn’t grasp it. If he was crying again, maybe he couldn’t even see it. I pushed one leg forward and then the other. With each step I willed myself to go faster. I did. Soon I was jogging over to him. Just as he managed to unlock the door and throw it open, I slammed it back shut, arm reaching over his shoulder.
“No. Don’t go. Please.” I pleaded.
His shoulders slumped forward, face downcast, but he turned towards me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I watched, amazed, as he started chanting the words softly over and over again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so-.”
“Stop.” I had to interrupt. I had to find out. “What are you sorry for?”
I tried to be calm. No only for me, but for him. He was really worked up. I’d never seen him like this.
“I…I kissed you…I touched you…I’m sorry…” His voice was shaky, cracking half way through and barely audible. But I had heard. All of it.
“Can I ask you something?” I asked softly of him.
I didn’t want him to try and leave again. I’d have to take things slow. One step at a time. I was glad when he nodded. Once. Twice.
“Are you gay?” His eyes shot up to my face. Had I been too blunt? Oh, well.
I stared into the depth of the darkest of green. So beautiful. His mouth opened and for a second I feared he would not be able to speak. But then he did. Again quietly, though this time more hesitantly.
“Y-yes…Yes I am.” He paused, thinking. “ I realized I was when…When you left.”
Did that mean…? No. I wouldn’t think of this now. I had to keep going, while he was still opening to me.
“Are you mad at me?” Carson gave me a questioning look.
“No. I could never be mad at you. Your parents, yes, but never you.”
“Then why didn’t you talk to me?” I asked quickly. Maybe accusingly.
“I…I was hurt…I had…a lot on my mind…” His words trailed off. His eyes were still on mine. Maybe he was holding my gaze and not the other way around. He always had to be in control one way or another. I smiled inside. “I’m sorry.” He added in the end. Always sorry.
“Why were you hurt?”
“Why do you think I was hurt?” He was no longer speaking softly. He was almost yelling, exasperated. Back to his normal temperamental self. “You go to camp, saying we’ll do something as soon as you get back. I see your parents packing up your house and ask what’s going on and all they do is spew bullshit about how I’m a ‘horrible little bastard for twisting their son’ or ‘ stay the hell away from Jesse’. Then your house is sold and you never come back! God, Jess, why do you fucking think I hurt!?”
He was yelling by the end, standing straight and willing me to argue with him. But that’s not what pained me. It was knowing, for the first time, an extent of what he felt as when I disappeared from his life for a year. I had tried to talk to him. But by the time I was able to send him a message I had been blocked from him completely. It really wasn’t my fault that my parents watched everyone I talked to on the computer or on the phone.
His shoulders began to slouch again and his eyes looked away. My Goth/Punk Prince, do not be ashamed. You have every right to yell at me. To hate me. And I’m sorry. For everything I’ve said and done. I never mean to harm you and yet I do. And It’s killing me.
“I’m sorry…” He spoke those two words again. He really apologized too much.
“Shut up.” I couldn’t help it. I had to get him to stop. For him to see that he wasn’t at fault in any way.
“W-what?”
“ I said, Shut. Up.” I smirked at him. I couldn’t help this either.
“Y-“ I cut him off. I have no idea what he was about to say and I knew I would never find out. You see, I did something that made him completely forget that train of thought. I, myself, forgot to even ask him what he was going to say. It’s just not really that important.
This time, it was me who was pressing my lips to his. It felt so good. Unexplainable. It was my arms that snaked around his waist, pulling his body against mine. I heard him whimper, melting in my embrace. There was more heat this time. I guess that was because I was so sure of what I was doing. So sure that this was right. To my disappointment, the need for air pulled us apart.
Carson. My Goth/Punk Prince. He was breathing quickly. Panting for air. It made me happy to know I had done that to him. The familiar bubbly sensation when I was around him was returning to me. I smiled.
“ You. You kissed me?” He asked, unsure of whether or not it was real. It made me laugh. Something I hadn’t done in the longest of time.
“Yes I kissed you, you idiot!” I managed to spit out between gasps of laughter.
He was just standing there. My Goth/Punk Prince. You are so naïve. So confused.
“But…why?” He was asking me crisply, as if preparing himself for the worst.
“Why? Why did I kiss you? Gods, Carson, why does anyone kiss?” I asked incredulously.
“But you can’t…You’re not bi…”
“You’re right, I’m not bi. I’m gay.” I smiled at the dumbfounded look on his face. How could I not? His hard green eyes were so wide and puffy, eyelashes wet from his tears. And his makeup. It was everywhere. He just looked so damn funny.
“You’re gay? Gay?! I never thought…When did-“ I cut him off again.
“When I left. Same as you. I-“ And he cut me off.
“So that’s why you kissed me? Because you’re gay too?” He sounded hurt.
“Damn it, Carson! Shut up!,” I my voice rose to shake away all of this thoughts. So that he would just hear what I was saying. Hear the meaning of my words. Knowing I had his attention, I spoke normally. “When my parents picked me up from camp, I had no idea that we were moving. I was looking forward to seeing you. To spending time with you. But then we never went home. We went somewhere else. Then they told me. Just not about what they had said to you. I was clueless. When I asked about you they would always change the subject or say I could never go come back here. Meaning, I couldn’t go back to you.
“They never gave me the chance to contact you in any way. Not on the phone or on the computer. When I finally could, it was too late. You had blocked me out. I can’t tell you how much it hurt. How it ripped me apart. I felt like I was dying. Don’t you see how I feel? Why I came back? Carson…I care about you.” There. I had done it. I had spewed my inner most soul to him. Given my self over. And now. And now I was in his mercy.
OoC|| Review!||