Nymphaea

Chapter 37: Buttons

“And they’ll be able to treat you this soon?” Stephen poured coffee into Ayve’s cup.

It was the first afternoon in the new year and they were sitting in Stephen’s living room, discussing Ayve’s recently made plans. Snow had fallen that morning and the voices of the resident children could be heard, coming from the garden.

In case there is anything to be done, yes. I suppose my case would earn them a reputation that is worth squeezing me into their timetable. Ayve seized the milk and added it to his coffee. The nearly white fluid mixed with the nearly black immediately, resulting in a light brown.

“And there is no one who could do this in Europe? I mean, I cannot travel around the globe at will – I can’t leave Lissy behind all the time.” Stephen leaned back, cup in one hand, the other arm behind Ayve on the backrest.

Ayve shook his head. I don’t think there is. And I wouldn’t trust just anybody. You needn’t come if you can’t. I’ll manage it on my own.

“You’re not going to be on your own: you’re going to be with him, all the time. Do you need him more than you need me?”

Ayve frowned disapprovingly. Spare me your jealousy. I told you it’s just a precaution.

“A precaution I don’t like. Couldn’t somebody else keep an eye on you during the treatment? One of your siblings?”

Ayve shook his head again, chewing on the edge of his lower lip. They’ve got other business and especially Sho wouldn’t understand. I wouldn’t feel safe.

Stephen changed the cup into his other hand and seized Ayve’s cheek to turn Ayve’s gaze to his face. “I don’t trust him.” He looked right into Ayve’s eyes.

“I do,” Ayve mouthed, with insistence.

Stephen furrowed his brows. “How can you, after all he’s done?”

Ayve inclined his head to the side. What do you know about what he’s done? His voice was very calm, reasonable.

“I have first-hand experience, in case you forgot.”

Ayve sighed and turned his face away again so Stephen saw him only in profile. Yes, that mistake is going to haunt me for the rest of our relationship, now.

“It’s not your mistake. It’s not supposed to haunt you! He is the one who should feel guilty. I bet he’d never call it a mistake.”

Ayve gurned. I’m not going to discuss this again.

Stephen sort of knew he was not going to achieve anything but he still went on arguing his case. “We needn’t discuss this again. You’ve told me enough to paint a picture of him that’s dubious without this event.”

Ayve lifted an eyebrow. If you’ve heard anything that has added to your negative perception of him you haven’t been listening properly.

“I’ve been listening very carefully and I’ve been reading between the lines. I’ve seen what you don’t want to see: he uses you. He’s first used you to sate his sexual appetite, then to reinforce his position as his father’s heir and I can imagine many reasons why he’s after your butt now.”

Ayve had gotten up during Stephen’s talking, hands on his hips, with his back to his lover. Now he was shaking his head once more, the hair that was bound together in the back of his neck moving along. He smirked as he turned around, eyes closed, and brushed with his tongue over his front teeth. He pulled a sheet of paper out of his trouser pocket.

It’s not me who is blind. You have been reading into what I’ve told you what you wanted to see. I have tried to make you understand why I cannot drop Pheus. He shook his head again, smile vanished this time, not meeting Stephen’s gaze. I really tried. I am disappointed that you are unwilling to accept my attitude in this matter. Perhaps I haven’t told you enough. But you’re going to have to live with that. You should know me well enough to realise that I am not going to let anyone influence me in an unhealthy way regarding important decisions. Neither him nor you. I’m stubborn.

Ayve put the sheet down on the table. This is the address of the clinic, should you change your mind. He turned and approached the stairs.

Stephen felt something heavy and cold settle in his stomach. He got up.

“Don’t tell me you are doing this again.”

Ayve turned, eyebrows raised, on the first stair. Doing what again? His voice was still calm, yet from its sound Stephen could tell that he had to pick his retort carefully. There was a certain sharpness in those grey eyes that unsettled him.

All the same he couldn’t keep from folding his arms. Ayve’s behaviour offended him.

“This looks just like the last time that you got up, said ‘I thought you were different’, turned your back on me and left.”

A dry smirk. I told you, you weren’t observing properly. I left an address this time which obviously means I am not breaking ties. I merely wanted to give you time to consider what you were saying properly since the one thing that is just like last time is you insulting me. Last time you called me a murderer. This time you call me a mindless fool. Actually, if I had the choice, I’d prefer you returned to the first accusation; that was more to my taste than having to hear that I’m incapable of making my own decisions.

Ayve’s voice was sharp, but still not raised in volume.

“I have never said that. I merely suggested not to trust Pheus blindly.”

Ayve shook his head, mimicking a smile again, and moved back towards Stephen.

No, Stephen. You tried to tell me I was completely mistaken in my assessment of Pheus. You more or less said that you, after listening to a short summary of my life of perhaps six or eight hours, were better suited to evaluating people and events in it than I that I happen to be leading this existence for a few dozen centuries!? Ayve’s voice had softened noticeably with the last words.

It was Stephen’s turn now to look down, suddenly embarrassed, while Ayve tried to catch his gaze.

You do realise how absurd that sounds? How insulting?

Stephen bit his lower lip and shot a glance at Ayve. “I…” His brain failed to supply him with the right words. He moved away from Ayve. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

You said it like that, Ayve underlined calmly, not to prove that he was right but to make Stephen understand why he had been on his way out of the house two minutes ago. Stephen just nodded in acknowledgement, sitting on the couch.

Ayve sank down into the armchair.

Stephen pondered over his opinion, questioning his assessment. Could he be wrong? Could he be the biased one? Or at least be as negatively biased as Ayve was positively?

Ayve seized his cup again. That calmed Stephen. Ayve was right: he was much more reasonable this time. He was not going to leave just like that; he was willing to discuss their problem.

“I’m sorry,” Stephen repeated. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and dragging his hands through his hair. “I guess you’re right. I just cannot imagine that someone who is capable of attacking me like that could act out of noble motives in other situations as well.”

Ayve remained silent.

Stephen looked up. His lover sat, legs crossed, one arm on the armrest, the other lying on his knee holding his cup, calmly in the armchair, gazing through the window, deep in thoughts.

Stephen moved closer to him. He wanted to erase the distance that had arisen between them. He tentatively placed a hand on his lover’s slender thigh. No reaction. Stephen leaned forward and brushed his lips over Ayve’s pale cheek. His lover’s face was slightly turned towards him.

Stephen grazed with his nose tip over the soft skin until he hovered over Ayve’s lips. Their eyes met briefly. Ayve’s were still cold. Stephen tilted his lips and pressed them onto Ayve’s. They weren’t lifeless, yet reluctant. Stephen let his hand strive further up Ayve’s leg. That put his lover’s mouth into a more responsive mood.

Ayve got rid of his cup and seized Stephen’s collar. After a deep kiss, he started unbuttoning Stephen’s shirt and unbuckled his belt with a metallic sound. Ayve pushed Stephen back so that he could get up and then grabbed the hem of his trousers. With his lover in tow, the tall man pushed the bedroom door ajar. He threw Stephen onto the bed, shut the door behind himself and started undressing.

Stephen admired his lover as he towered over him like that, exhibiting his scar-covered, lean body, face set. It could have been disquieting, the way Ayve’s face remained unmoved, but Stephen found it exciting, arousing, in that moment.

He got rid of the rest of his clothing himself and noticed how Ayve’s gaze drifted down to his crotch.

Ayve retrieved a condom out of a drawer in Stephen’s desk. He bent down and settled his naked body onto Stephen’s so that their genitals rubbed against each other. Stephen ran his hands over Ayve’s behind.

His lover exhaled audibly. That’s better. After a moment he demanded: Turn around.

Stephen did.

Ayve bit him playfully in the shoulder, licking and kissing the place, at the same time penetrating his bottom with his fingers. Shortly after, Stephen felt the wet tip graze his butt cheeks. It pressed against his entrance and glided inside. Stephen pushed his legs as far apart as possible, dwelling in that feeling.

Ayve gathered speed.

Stephen loved the tremors that were caused by the collisions of their bodies. Probably due to the preceding emotional stress of their argument and the relief of their reconciliation he came way too early.

***

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