Take Me From This Pain, Kevin's story

“So, how did it go with Leigh?” Kevin asked neutrally as he and Ryan observed Jason and his buddies on the basketball court.

It was the first game of the season and Kevin had been dreading it, not knowing what to expect from some of the players on the team. But the game was going pretty well, much to his and Ryan’s surprise. Despite their differences off the court, Jason and Mark worked well together on it, racking up the points. The other team seemed at a loss as to what to do about it. Since the game was near the end of the third quarter, Ryan knew they still had some time to rally if they really wanted to. The question was would Jason and Mark give them an opening?

“Fine,” Ryan replied.

“Where’d you take her?”

Ryan studied his friend carefully, unsure how to proceed. He knew Kevin was past their previous problems, but he still didn’t know if the smaller boy would welcome him as an actual, bona fide friend, like Brian did. And he wished he could just call Brian up and ask him what he thought, but that had never been their relationship. He spoke to Brian in person or briefly greeted him on the phone while he waited for Matt. He just never realized before how close a friend Brian had become until he wasn’t around anymore. He also wished he could talk about this with Matt, but he didn’t want to discuss it over the phone.

“We went to a movie,” Ryan shrugged at Kevin. “Then we had dinner.”

“Where?”

“Why are you so inquisitive today?”

“Just curious to find out where the players take their ladies, that’s all.”

“Why? Jason not wining and dining you enough?”

“He does,” Kevin smiled. “I just like to compare notes. Hey, maybe you can bring her around to meet all of us. That way I can compare them in person.”

“Um, not yet, okay?”

“Why not? Are you worried she might like us more than you?”

Ryan could feel the heat color his face and he looked away before he answered. “Yeah, sure.” He quietly watched the game again and hoped Kevin would back off.

“So?”

“So, what?”

“Where did you take her for dinner?” Kevin enunciated every syllable so he could be clearly understood.

“We went for pizza.”

“Big spender!” Kevin laughed. “Was she impressed?”

“Enough to go out with me again next week, okay?” Ryan grunted from his seat. This kid was like a super-confident version of his brother and it made Ryan laugh inside.

“Cool, dude! I’m glad you found someone.”

They watched as Mark’s shot missed but Jason got the rebound and they ended the quarter up 20 points. As the teams jogged to their respective benches, the cheerleaders took to the court and tried to rally the home team fans. Since their team was visiting, Ryan and Kevin sat back and waited.

“Are you ever going to bring Leigh to meet us?” Kevin asked softly.

“Why’s this so important to you?”

“I’m curious.”

“I can see that. Why?”

“Can’t I be curious without having a reason?” Kevin asked quietly. “I know you don’t want to be good friends with me, Ryan. Not like Brian. But I thought we could at least try to form some sort of friendship.”

Ryan studied the boy for a minute, trying to figure him out. This was the same kid who swore when he left California that Ryan and Matt would never change. Maybe he could see he was wrong. Maybe he changed himself. It was something to think about.

“Why wouldn’t I want to be friends with you?”

“I’m not good at sports or anything,” Kevin shrugged. “Not like Jason or Joey or Randy. I’m more into the ‘faggy stuff’ like creating things and drawing. I’ve also been pretty cold to you until recently.”

“First of all, drawing is NOT ‘faggy’,” Ryan grunted, annoyed with Kevin’s continual underestimation of his abilities. “Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with being ‘faggy’. And if you think there is, you’re just giving in to Mark and Tanya’s observations. And finally, just because you don’t play sports, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends with you.”

Kevin looked down and picked at the toe of his sneaker. He was still trying to understand Ryan and was honestly making a genuine effort to be friends. He was hoping that the taller boy would eventually feel comfortable enough to confide in him like he did with Brian. It would be nice to have someone around he could speak candidly with, like he did with Trent.

“I guess I just miss having a confidant you know?” he said as he looked back up into Ryan’s dark gaze.

“I know what you mean,” Ryan nodded. “But it takes time to build that up.”

“I guess.”

The game started up again and the players took to the court in a fury as Ryan and Kevin watched Jason’s moves.

“So, can we then?” Kevin asked without taking his eyes off the court.

“Can we what?”

“Can we build that up?” he asked looking back to Ryan with a small hopeful grin.

“We can if you want,” Ryan laughed. “I think it would be a nice change.”

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“You were smokin’ out there, man!” Joey grinned as he joined Kevin and Ryan in greeting the team as they left the locker room.

“Thanks!”

“Brennan!” the coach called out from behind.

“Yeah, Coach?”

“Brilliant game! You and Simmons really locked it for us!”

“Yeah, well, it helps to have someone who actually knows how to work with me,” Mark admitted grudgingly.

“Well, I’m hoping this foreshadows a championship for us!” the coach gushed as he turned back into the locker room. “Keep up the good work, boys!”

“I still can’t stand you,” Mark hissed.

“Back at you,” Jason smiled.

“You took the words right out of my mouth, Jay,” Joey grinned eying Mark coldly.

“But a championship would look awesome on my record,” Mark went on, ignoring the others completely, as if they didn’t exist. “So, how about a truce until the season’s over?” He put out his hand and waited.

Jason eyed him warily, not altogether sure he trusted him. Still, a temporary truce would be better than the way things stood now. He finally put out his hand and clasped Mark’s.

“No one touches Kevin either,” he warned Mark.

“I can only speak for the guys on the team, though,” Mark nodded. “He’s safe from us . . . for now.”

“Sick stipulation,” Jason replied pulling his hand away. “But I’ll take it.”

“I can’t speak for everyone,” Mark shrugged. “Eric’s not part of our group. Personally, I think he’s too sick. But the others will probably leave you alone anyway, what with the threat of getting expelled. Their parents are probably watching them.”

“And Tanya?”

“What, you afraid of one girl?”

“Not afraid,” Jason smiled. “Just annoyed.”

“She’ll be with me,” Mark smirked back and turned to walk away. “This truce is just for the season though.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jason rolled his eyes at Mark’s back.

“Weird,” Kevin finally breathed. “I guess Ryan’s free now.” He looked down in disappointment.

“Uh, no,” the dark haired boy shook his head. “Jase’s still busy with practice and you heard Mark. He can’t speak for the others. You and I are still after school buddies until I know for sure you’re safe. And since I don’t tend to trust assholes like that, count on spending some quality time with me . . . pal.”

Kevin looked up and smiled slowly. “Okay.”

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“What was that all about?” Jason asked as he and Kevin settled into his car for the drive to the pizza place. The others would meet them there.

“What?”

“That thing between you and Ryan,” Jason grunted, putting the car in gear and pulling out of the spot. “You acted like it was the end of the world when you thought Ryan wouldn’t need to watch you anymore.”

“Are you getting jealous again?” the small blonde sighed. “It was nothing. I’m trying to be friends with him. I thought that was what you wanted.”

“How close friends are we talking about here?”

“Not like THAT, Mr. Paranoid,” Kevin huffed. “I’m just trying to give him someone to talk to.”

Jason mulled that over in irritation. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Kevin. He knew his little boyfriend loved him with all his heart. He also knew that even if Ryan turned out to be gay, he wouldn’t make a play for Kevin. He just couldn’t help feeling a tiny bit threatened sometimes. Hell, he’d even felt this way about Trent.

“You think he feels that lonely?” he finally asked Kevin seriously.

“I do. When I asked him about this Leigh . . . or is it Lee? Whatever, when I asked about his date he looked like he wanted to tell me but was scared to. I don’t think anyone should have to feel like they have no one to talk to. Maybe he’ll open up eventually. If he is questioning his sexuality, it might be nice to have someone available who understands.”

“You think he’ll go for it?”

“I don’t know,” Kevin admitted. “I can only give it a shot.”

“You’re too smart for your own good sometimes,” Jason grinned.

“Learned it from you.”