Out of the Blue

(Somethings I'm winging it and others I'm trying my best to do the right research. Just a forewarning if you go, 'that not what happens.' Please chill it's a story give me the benefit of the doubt please.)

Repetition


(J.J)

J.J sat perfectly still as she swallowed slowly, a little more force and she would have rendered the larynx useless, a little more force and there would have been no need for a larynx, just a little more.

This had been one of her most successful attempts. Would it be her last she didn't know.

Her throat ache as she rubbed her throat softly. She looked ahead of her taking in the details of the room. A large bookcase was on the sidewall, full of psychology and medicine books. On the wall in front of her were frames showcasing certificate of graduation from prestigious places.

J.J never went to college, barely graduate high school, yet she wasn't stupid. Knowledge wise she knew a lot. It's just she never really found anything useful to do.

The door opened as she looked down at the clothes she was wearing, she was clad in white scrubs and both her wrist were covered in a gauze like wrap and her neck was wrapped too. She hated this, the protocol that came afterward. Her forty eight hours of isolation and surveillance had been done. Yet Mathew had agreed to an extended stay. She couldn't argue and she couldn't blame him for doing it.

“Jane?” J.J looked up to see the doctor come in, her light light brown hair was down and small frames adorned her face. Light blue eyes inspected J.J and J.J just took a deep breath as the doctor sat at her desk and opened her file she had in hand.

“Jane Jent, Hi My name is Dr. Elizabeth Monroe.” She looked down at the file and looked back up to see J.J who did not meet her eyes.

“J.J?” Dr. Monroe asked as J.J's ear twitched a little. Elizabeth smiled a bit. “I see you prefer J.J,”

J.J shrugged her shoulders as she nodded.

“Do you need water?” Elizabeth asked trying to sway the conversation to the current events that had occurred.

J.J sucked on her lips and shook her head. “I'm ok,” she whispered as she held back the grimace that threaten to show on her face.

“I think your a smart individual and I will not baby you or beat around the bush-,” Elizabeth glanced to see a small smirk overcome J.J's face. She looked down to see J.J had a history.

“Why hanging this time?” Elizabeth asked as J.J looked at her, 'she wasn't kidding about being blunt,' J.J thought.

“I was hoping my neck would snap, sever the spinal cord bam instant.” J.J this time couldn't not help but groaned at the pain.

“your not on any pain medications?”

J.J shook her head, “It interferes with my anti-depressant.”

“Did you stopped taking them?” J.J inhaled sharply as she shook her head, “No,”
Elizabeth was a bit astounded. “Are you sure?” she asked again, based on the dosage she was on she shouldn't have had a relapse like this.

“I”m sure one pill in the morning with oatmeal and another at night with ice cream, the same pattern over and over and over and over again.” J.J hissed.

“Monotony,” Elizabeth commented as J.J nodded. “You hate it?”

“Despise it,” J.J admitted freely as she placed her hands on the desk. “The same thing over and over and over again, it is annoying. The same repetitive notion, the same idea, the same job, everything is a pattern.”

“so you prefer chaos.”

“No I prefer nothing.” Elizabeth noted the covered wrist.

“Cutting is a form of attention.” J.J knew her file didn't give all the details.

Slowly she uncovered her left wrist as she she showed the good doctor. Elizabeth eyes widened. “Ok, that's not an attention cut.”

It was a nice scar aesthetically but the cut that J.J had inflicted on herself was a T, cut horizontally and vertically. That had been almost successful but she had done it when she was committed, which was a stupid move, but it was years ago, she was young naïve and desperate.

Elizabeth jotted down a couple of things as J.J tried to peek. Which failed, J.J looked around and licked her lips.

“I'm going to change your medication and upon reviewing my analysis with Matthew, you'll know what the next course of action will be.”

The door opened a nurse was standing there as J.J stood up and smiled at the doctor. “I doubt changing medications will work,” J.J stated as she walked out and followed the nurse.


(Lily)

Lily woke up close to nine in the morning as she got up showered,and got dressed in a light blue summer dress, afterward she did her daily routine of cleaning, and maintaining the home neatly. She found a note on the kitchen counter and forty dollars. It was a list of groceries she should buy and she found an extra twenty for herself.

It was Morgan's way of apologizing, Lily scoffed as she placed the money in a coin purse she owned and left the house.

She took the bus downtown where she visited the library, “Morning Ms. Payton,” she was greeted by the security guard at the entrance.

“Hello Micah,” she whispered back as she made her way to her usual spot in the mystery section. She found the book she was reading, she had hidden it so no one would check it out.

She sat and read a couple of chapters. Close to noon her stomach reminded her that it was time to move on, which she did. She hid the book the book again and walked out.

She followed her routine as she went to the park, she found her usual bench empty as she sat there.

She sat for maybe an hour just sight seeing, she watched the usual joggers run by, she saw the usual mom running with their strollers. She saw the same dog that always got away from his owned runner by her. She sat there and enjoyed the simple things, the little repetitive things she always did.

For that morning, she wasn't committed to Morgan, she wasn't depressed, she had no fears, she had no worries. She was just happy, she was just content and she did not mind it at all.

Close to two she finally decide to make it to the store where she bought items to make stew. She bought soda and juice also. Once again everything was neatly packed in a big brown paper bag and she clutched it as she walked home.

She felt her feet ached a little more than usual. She looked down to see her feet and frowned, she needed new shoes.

The soles were worn and they were starting to crack and tear. At least the blue dress she had wasn't as worn as the yellow one she owned.

A couple of more twenties and she would be able to afford new shoes and a new dresses, well at least new to her. Most of her shopping was made at the thrift store.

Lily would have never expected that her life would of have turned out like it did. She really could not contemplate a life with out Morgan, even if every morning she did act as if she did have one.

(J.J.)

The curtains were wide opened, the sunlight filled the room, the music filled the walls and the smell of pasta made her nauseous.

J.J sat on the couch of her home, she looked up to see the beam she had uncovered covered. The ceiling fan was gone and just a regular light bulb adorned the spot.

“Figures,” she breathed out as she twirled her fingers, she was tired, she really wanted to go just lay down and go to sleep.

“there we go all set.” Matt called out from the kitchen as J.J glanced to see the table set up for lunch.

She also notice the boxes that were by the doorway. All her utensil had been removed, anything sharp and deadly had been removed.

J.J sluggishly made it to the kitchen as she sat at the table and waited to be served.

Matthew was in an unusual mood as he served both them equal portions.

“How are ya feeling?” He asked as J.J flipped him off, “Yeah, the Doc said mood swing was a side effect and sleepiness.”

Which is good he thought, If J.J was sleeping then she could not do something stupid.

Although therein was another problem, too much sleeping increased the depression.

J.J played with her food as she felt like knocking out. Her eyes were so heavy and her chest was aching.

“Look after tomorrow you only need take the pill once a day okay.”

J.J nodded as she wobbled back and forth. Matt knew she was going to just go out soon.

“Matt,” J.J mumbled as she face planted on top of the pasta.

“Damn,” Matt mumbled as he picked her up.


J.J regain consciousness around ten at night when she woke up she could hear noises emanating from her living room.

She followed the noise only to find Matt and Mariel. Mariel was Matt's wife and she really did not want either of them to be there.

“Your up,” Matt greeted as he untangled himself from his wife, Mariel studied J.J and grimace at the bruise that was visible on J.J's neck.

“what are you still doing here?”

Matt frowned as he grabbed her arm and led her back into the room. He turned on the light and sat her on the bed.

“I'm going to be here until I can trust you again.”

J.J groaned as Matt hissed, “you think I like being your babysitter, do you think I enjoy being away from my wife.”

“then go, I promise I won't do anything stupid.”

“that's what you said last time?” he scoffed as she shrugged her shoulders, “that was seven years ago, there was an expiration date eventually.”

Matt rolled his eyes not believing what he was hearing, “Fine you little turd, then stay alone.” He stood up as J.J looked at him skeptically.

“that was easy,” she mumbled as Matt turned around furious, J.J raised her hands, “i promise I wont do anything stupid.” 'For now,' she added mentally as Matt pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket.

“Look the bookkeeping job kiss it good bye but I got you something else.” J.J smiled she hated the number crunching, Matt new too much monotonous events triggered J.J. Meltdowns.

J.J took the paper out of his hand as she frowned a bit. “Dog walker?”

“Hey you want to eat then you need some type of income.”

J.J agreed as she also saw the appointment schedule she had with Dr. Monroe.

“You want to stay out of a damn facility then you better adhered to this schedule, you understand. I don't care how monotonous this turns out to be. Deal with it.” Matt threaten as he hugged her hard.

“Don't fucking scare me like that again you hear.” he sobbed as J.J nodded, in trying to kill herself she was killing Matt too, and that was never her intention.

(A/N: Comments?)