Love, Lose, Live

Ok. This chapter has some sexings. Male on male sexing. I know that it's a pretty poor attempt at it but the point of this story is not the sex but the characters.



“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Brian. Happy birthday to you!” Brian blows out the cake’s candles as the crowd finished singing. I kiss him on the cheek and he wraps me in his arms resting his head on my shoulder. I stay in the warmth of his arms, smiling as the cake is attacked. We are both handed slices and before I can get a bite of my own, a forkful is placed in front of me. I glance up at Brian who has an amused, albeit lusty, look on his face. I make a show out of taking the bite and chew it as sensually as one can chew cake (which can apparently be incredibly erotic). He leans down, and next thing we know we hear “Get a room!” We pull apart laughing and decide to just hold onto each other. People begin pushing presents towards Brian. I try to untangle myself from him, but he just follows. I press myself against his chest and he begins to open his presents around me. When James’ comes up, Brian and I exchange a look knowing inappropriateness is soon to ensue. The paper comes off, the box top opens and I blush. Brian goes to close the box up, but James grabs the box and pulls the collar out and everyone sees the “I Belong to Brian Langston” tag dangling off the front. I put my hand in my face as James starts a “put it on him!” chant. Brian looks at me, his eyes inquiring about if it’s ok. I pause, unsure of my feelings, but nod. James hands the collar off to Brian. I turn towards Brian, suddenly unsure of my decision because memories are threatening to surface.


“It’s ok baby. We can tell James to bugger off.”


“No. Go ahead. Wearing your name is a bit erotic.” I give him a quick smile and lower my head. I pull my long hair up off of my neck. He pulls the collar around my neck, buckling it in the back. A shiver runs down my spine as my hair spills down my back. I almost tell Brian to take it off but when he kisses my pulse point and then the tag, I realize that I can enjoy people knowing I’m his and he is mine. I turn around to face the crowd and the cheers go up. “You are leaving the other thing in the box. That I can’t take out in front of everyone” I whisper to Brian. Jack goes for the box and Brian glares at him. Jack looks at me and a look of realization comes over his face. He mouths sorry and walks off with the box so nobody else will go through it. Other gifts are shoved at Brian and I once again try to wiggle away. He, once again, keeps me from being able to leave. After what seems like forever, things have died down and people are dancing and talking. I manage to slip outside in desperate need of fresh air; I never did well with crowds. I went out on the back porch, thankful that nobody else had decided to brave the crisp autumn air. I leaned on the railing, head in my hands. The stars out in the country are always so much brighter but I was having trouble feeling joy at the moment. I tugged at the collar, wanting it off but not wanting to disappoint James and Brian, mostly Brian. “You’re already a disappointment to your family what difference does it make who else is disappointed in you” I mumbled.


“You have never disappointed your friends.” I swivel around to see James standing just outside the door. I stand up straight and move back a bit, hanging my head.


“I’m fine. I’m just gonna go back in.” I try to edge around him but he keeps blocking my way.


“You’re not fine” James says getting in my face. “This not the face of someone who is ‘fine’. What is wrong? Is it the collar? I can take it off. I’m sorry if it caused you pain. It was just supposed to be a joke.” I just look up at him. “Oh God. I forgot. Your dad…”


“Stop. I’ll be fine. Talking about him is just going to make things worse so please, let me pass. I want to try to seep in some of the joy that everyone else seems to feel.”


“Let me go get Brian and bring him out here. He can fix this.” James begins to walk away. I grab his arm before he can get back inside.


“No. I’ll make it through the rest of the party with a smile. This is supposed to be a happy day for Brian, not more of my depressed crap. He’ll know something’s wrong next time he sees me so please, don’t talk about it. I don’t want other people talking about it and then it becoming a big deal. I’ll talk to him about it after the party. Please James. Please.” I just look at him. I can see the struggle in his eyes and the guilt. “It’s not your fault. And it’s more the crowd than anything. I never do well with crowds but right now it feels like they’re really invading on my life because they’re in my home. I just… need some time away from it. It’s nothing you did.” I see the doubt in his eyes still tinged with guilt but at least he nods. We enter one in behind the other. I go to the dining room because it has the fewest number of people in it. I talk to the people in there that are from Brian’s brainiac job and manage to just feel worse because the conversation just zooms over my head. Nuclear physics… not my thing. I’m an art type for sure. Never did well with that whole equation thing. Letters and numbers should not be together with an equal sign. It just does not work. Eventually Brian peeks his head in. I look at him and just let the exhaustion show on my face for a second. About that time, I hear him begin to shoo people out. I stand and go to the door trying my best to look the gracious host. James walks out and looks at me in passing.


“Talk to him.”


I shut the door behind the final guest and the just go collapse on the couch. Keeping emotions hidden is work and my face hurt from the forced smiles and laughs. I turned my back on the room and get myself as close to the back of the couch as possible. I bury myself in the pillow and just… try to ignore everything. I start a little bit as I feel Brian start to pet my hair. Tears just begin to trickle down my face. I feel overwhelmed and being reminded of my Dad just makes everything worse. I feel him kiss the back of my head and he climbs on the couch behind me. He wraps his arms around me and lets me cry. He unbuckles the collar and hear it drop on the carpet. His arms come back around me and I feel loved. I’m not sure how much later is but eventually he speaks.


“Tomorrow will be better baby. What do you want to do tomorrow? Anything. Name it.”


“I’d like to go clubbing. Not tomorrow though. Tomorrow we do what you want to do. What is it that you want to do?” My voice pops a little bit but at least I’m not crying anymore.


“Movie marathon.”


I groan. “”Really?”


“You did say anything.”


“I know. What type of movies?”


“Kung-fu.”


“Why? Why does it have to be Kung-fu?” I twist my body around so that I can look him in the face. I get the puppy dog face. I try to glare. I try… I will not falter… “Ok fine. Kung-fu it is.” I stick my tongue out at him as his face lights up. Apparently that means “please, French me” in Brian because his tongue is suddenly half down my throat and I can do nothing but moan and kiss back. My arms go around his neck and Brian’s hands undo my shirt. When he pinches my nipples I break away from the kiss, gasping for air. He continues to pinch my nipples and starts nibbling on my ear and my hips begin to move, dying for contact. His hands leave my nipples and I whimper. With a chuckle, he moves his lips down and begins to bite my nipples. I gasp and my back arches off the couch. He begins rubbing my cock and I’m not sure when my pants came off but I am sure I don’t care. “Please… uh…”


“Please what?” He takes a hard bite at my left nipple. I gasp as coherent thought leaves. “What do you want me to do Lucas?”


“Brian… please…”


“Please what? Stop?” He begins pulling away.


“No! God… Please…uh… fuck me…” I gasp as he attacks me cock again with that damned skillful hand of his.


“You should know better. I never fuck you. I make love to you.” He whispers in my ear. He pulls away and I whimper again. This time he stays away for a second.


“Brian” I mumbled. I look around for him and I see him rifling through his pants. My hips continue to move and I desperately want to touch myself but I know that Brian likes to and so do I. He comes up with a tube and a grin. He pops the top off and slathers some of the lube on his fingers. I watch his hand until it disappears and I feel his finger at my hole. His finger slides in and my head jerks back. He begins to thrust it in and out and soon his has me begging him for more. More fingers go in but I want more. I moan and just beg him. “Uh… please… more… uh…”


“As you wish.” He pulls his fingers out and thrusts all the way in. I arch off the couch and cry out. I grab his shoulders, panting and needy and he chuckles again. I try to glare at him for being so calm but then he hits that spot and my head jerks back and the glare dies. He moves slow, killing me and I beg him to move faster. He begins to speed up and soon even he has lost control. He hits hard and finally touches my weeping member. I cry out but somehow refrain from cuming. He begins to stroke me, still hitting that pleasure center deep inside me. The hits are harder as are the strokes. Unable to hold back anymore, I explode with a loud cry and I feel him shoot inside of me. He collapses on top of me and I don’t care. I’m starting to fall asleep even as he climbs off of me. “Are you ok?” he says in a worried tone.


“I’m fine…” I mumble.