A Long Road

I woke up the next day to realize I was in someone else’s arms. As I looked up to see who had me locked down I nearly freaked to see Curtis almost on top of me. It then hit me of what had happened the night before. I could not believe I had let things get this far out of hand. I was confused with what I had seen with my dad and then Curtis kissing me I just felt to confused. I needed to go for a run and clear my head. I untangled my self from his arms without waking him thankfully. He really did look quite peaceful just sleeping as if he didn’t have a care in the world, I was sort of jealous I mean I was freaking out and he was having the best night sleep. I changed and headed out the door without saying ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ to my father. He was part of the reason why I was feeling this way and he can’t expect things to change over night.
I ran about three miles before I stopped. I found a place to sit that was out of the view of the public while I thought. This place was not unfamiliar to me I stop here every time I needed to think. It had a wonderful view of the whole city it was if you were as high as the birds the way the town looked. I could see the animals in the woods, just below me waking up and starting to move around. The longer I sat here the more I became part of the scenery. I must have lost myself in my head because I soon realized that Curtis was walking up behind me. If it hadn’t been for the car door and his heavy footsteps I would never have know that he was behind me. As he sat and looked at the beautiful scenery before us he sighed deeply.
“Are you okay?” He asked finally breaking the silence between the two of us.
“I don’t know, with everything that has happened yesterday I’m way too confused to see a way out right now. I don’t know what’s going on but it just seems like my world is crashing down around me and I’m just standing there letting it.” I said as I let my head drop into my hands. I knew my words might hurt him but I had to let him know that I was confused and had no idea where I was now.
“It’s okay to be confused I didn’t help matters much yesterday. I knew it wasn’t the greatest time to tell you that I was gay but when you dad came out it seemed like the only way to get you to calm down was to get your mind off the subject and I guess it wasn’t the best way. Look my offer from last night still stands. I can always walk away like nothing ever happened and we can just go back to being friends or enemies which ever you like. I know that I really screwed you up last night and that was my fault.” Curtis bowed his head and just sat there for a minute. When I didn’t say anything he assumed I wasn’t talking to him and went to leave. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down next me. We sat there in silence just watching the scenery unfold before our eyes.
“Curtis” he looked up as I continued “please just give me time. I don’t know what I want right this minute but I do know that you’re my best friend and nothing will ever change that. If I can deal with my own father being gay then I can deal with my best friend also being gay. As to weather I am gay or bi or whatever I have no idea. Okay?” I said looking for something from him but not knowing what just yet.
“That’s fine Andy” Curtis said faking a smile. We both sat there for a short time before I stood up and offered my hand to Curtis to help him up. He took it but didn’t let go, he simply leaned in and kissed my head softly. He stunned me for a bit but I let it roll off my shoulders. We were half way down the hill when it finally started to eat me alive on why he just did that.
“That thing back there why did you do that?” I asked hoping he would understand what I was talking about.
“You mean the kiss?” I just nodded my head in approval “I don’t know just felt like doing it. Guess it’s just the way I feel. Look Andy I’m a guy I suck at the whole feelings thing but you need to know this isn’t some stupid I think I like you thing. I have been hiding my feelings for years and just me I almost slipped a few times but then I would remember that I didn’t have a shot in hell. You were as straight as they came and I didn’t want you to hate me so I would suck it up and deal with the feelings as long as I could be your best friend. Is it not always that way the best friend falls in love and can never have them because they are too afraid of losing their best friend.” He shrugged his shoulders and put his head down.
“Do you really like me that much? I mean how many guys are in the school?” I said in complete aw.
“Yes Andy I really do like you that much I don’t think you get how incredibly cool you are and you just I don’t know are a great guy. God Andy I’m gay not flamboyant I suck with the feeling thing.” he said laughing to hide his nerves. I laughed with him thinking of him as flamboyant and prissy. As we entered the house and made our way upstairs he started to collect his things.
“I think I should go I’m probulary not helping any so I will leave you to your brain.” he said making his way to the door. I stopped him on impulse, I really did not want him to leave me. He just looked up at me locking eyes with me. I closed the space between our bodies and inevitably the space between your lips.