Labels Were Our Friends

The events that followed my storming across the street would forever change the course of my life. I was up sulking in our hotel room when there was a loud knocking on the door. I knew it wasn’t my roommates, Louisa and Maria. They were over in the boys’ room despite the fact that if any of the adults knew about this, they’d be sent home immediately. I guess nymphomania does that to people. So it could either be Iris, trying to apologize again to the wrong person, or Joseph, mad at me for making his little slut cry.

“Go away!” I yelled at the door, not even bothering to get off the bed.

“Becks, you open this door right now!” an angel growled. “I don’t care what she did, you shouldn’t have yelled at Iris like that!”

At the sound of Megan’s velvet voice, I dashed to the door and flung it open to reveal an outraged splendor. Seething with fury, she pushed past a terribly baffled me, who closed the door behind her, and turned to look me in the eye.

“I know it hurt to see Joey and Iris,” she acknowledged a little more calmly, but her chocolate eyes were still brimming with disgust. “But you really had no place making Iris cry!”

By this point, I was perplexed beyond belief. Why after finding out that her girlfriend was cheating on her, was she mad at me, who stood up for her? It was just absolutely absurd.

“You’re standing up for her?” I declared.

“Of course I am!” Megan countered, so irate she looked like she might hit me. Then realizing the error of her ways, she took in a deep breath and calmed herself down to a more serene state. “He’s in love with her Becky. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

If it was possible, that statement made me even more bewildered than ever. I had always known that Megan was as forgiving as she was stunning, but right now, she was going for sheer martyrdom.

“What about you?” I whispered.

“What do you mean?”

“She cheated on you!” I babbled. “How could you forgive her for that?”

Megan tilted her head in confusion. She blinked a couple times before busting out into a hysterical fit of laughter. She had to lean against the wall to keep from falling over. Finally, she wiped the tears from her gorgeous brown eyes and stood up straight, still chuckling a bit.

“You think Iris cheated on me?” she asked, smiling.

“Well I did,” I mumbled. I could feel the blood flushing to my cheeks as I attempted to look at anything but Megan.

“Becky, Iris is straight.”

“Well I figured that out,” I hissed.

“That’s funny,” she laughed. “We all thought you were upset because you were in love with Joey.”

Suddenly, Iris’s pleas for an apology to me made sense. I would’ve laughed at the irony if not for the realization that I had just made the most thoughtful girl I knew sob for no reason.

“Wait, so you did all this to protect me?” Megan realized.

Slowly, I nodded and tried to look at my feet.

“Oh Becky,” she sighed sympathetically, “Why would you do something stupid like that?”

I honestly couldn’t think of an answer other than the truth. Searching for an answer I mumbled out the first thing in my head. “I may have feelings for you.”

“What?” she asked.

I couldn’t tell if she hadn’t heard me or she had heard me and didn’t believe her ears. There was a second of silence. What had I just said? I was really hoping she hadn’t heard me. The blank look on her face confirmed my wish. Sighing in relief, I tried to come up with another reason other than the truth. As I searched my head she repeated the question.

“What did you say, Becks?”

Before I could stop myself, I snapped at her.

“I like you, okay? I’ve never liked a girl before, and no offense, but it freaks me out! So just stop being so damn attractive so I can go back to my normal life. Cause now, I can’t think of anything except you. I even made myself look like an idiot in front of my best friend because I thought he was kissing your girlfriend. Cause I knew that if I couldn’t have you, I wanted you to at least be happy with the girl you loved. Jesus Megan, you are the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and yet, I love it.”

Blinking, Megan didn’t say a word. She frowned and reached out to hold my hand. It felt strange. Her dainty, princess like fingers intertwined with my own harsh leathery ones. I couldn’t really understand what happened next, but it had to be the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced.

With a tender expression, Megan brought my hand to her face and let me touch her cheek. My heart was racing as I stroked gently that perfectly delicate face. After a moment the beautiful brunette took my in hers again and moved down against her chest. My rough hands now against her breast, I oddly felt no sexual urges. Instead I found myself focused in on the light beating of her heart. Unlike her tremendously fragile exterior, her heart pounded as steadily as a funeral drum. Unlike mine, which was as rapid as a white water.

“Megan,” I whispered, not even sure what to say.

Bringing my hand from her breast, she kissed it and let it go. The nymph wrapped her arms around my neck and I rested mine at her middle.

“You should talk less,” she whispered back as she brought her face dangerously close to mine. “You talk way too much.”

At that, I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers. I could feel her body quiver in my arms. I didn’t blame her. Though it was brief and tender, the kiss held more power than I’d ever felt in my entire life. It was more crushing than any blow I’d taken on the lacrosse field. And at the same time it made me feel like I was the most loved person in the world. My breath left me, and my heart raced. My toes curled, and my back arched. With her at my lips, I had been rendered utterly helpless.

She pulled away and I gazed into those chocolate eyes.

“See you tomorrow,” she whispered. Without a second breath, she slipped away out of the room, leaving me to my own wonder. I lied down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

x.o

I didn’t talk to Megan for the rest of the weekend. On the ride home, I sat with Faith, while Megan sat with Iris. Joey and Iris weren’t doing much talking either. Even though Megan had explained to them that I had been under a false impression and that I was not in love with Joe, Iris couldn’t bear to even think of pursuing him, saying that my outburst was an omen and that it was bad luck for them to continue the relationship any further. So Joseph was clearly mad at me.

For the next month I avoided Jericho, Joey, and most importantly, Megan. When Darlene asked why I’d stopped going, I told her it because I had to get some extra shifts at Food City. It wasn’t really lying. My coworker at Food City, Claudia, was in Kansas City visiting her mother. So I had busied myself with working from four to seven during the week.

My plan to shun everyone associated with the Seattle trip was going exceedingly well until a certain somebody walked through my checkout line.

“Becks, we need to talk,” said a slightly annoyed customer with eyes like the ocean on a clear summer day.

I frowned and bagged his groceries. Marcus, who was ringing up the customer behind Joey’s third bag of dog food, gave us a strange look.

“Look Joe,” I explained, “I don’t get off until another ten minutes.”

“Well then I’ll wait for you outside,” he told me. “But don’t think we aren’t going to have this conversation.”

Groaning to myself, I handed him his bag of Orange Crush and a Kit Kat bar. Joey flashed me a smirk and left the store. As I finished bagging the old lady who had bought way too much dog food’s stuff, I left the Food City and looked around for Joseph. It wasn’t that hard. At seven in the evening on a Tuesday in February, the parking lot is usually pretty dead. So I immediately spotted him leaning against his red ’91 3-series BMW convertible.

“Are you ever gonna trade that old thing in for a car that doesn’t look like it belongs in a museum?” I called to Joey while I walked to the car.

Smirking, he raised his head to look at me as I approached the convertible.

“I love this car,” he replied, grabbing my wrists so I wouldn’t escape. “I won’t trade it in until it finally dies for good.”

“With the way you drive it, that could be sooner than you expect,” I countered.

Joe’s handsome face had a less-than-amused expression on it at my remark on his lovely driving skills, before he decided to get to the point. “Why have you been avoiding us?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I lied firmly.

I was aware that it was no use though. Joey knew my poker face better than he knew his own neighborhood. So I tried not to look him in the eye.

“Don’t play dumb,” he griped. “You haven’t returned any of my calls. You aren’t going to Jericho. It’s obvious you are trying to avoid something. Or somebody.”

I shot an angry glance at him. “I’m not avoiding anyone,” I hissed. “Some of us have to work.”

“Sure,” he remarked cynically, “cause you actually have to spend four hours a day at this dump to put bread on the table or you and your mother will die of starvation. Give it a rest, Rebecca and tell me the truth.”

Groaning, I twisted my wrists free from his grasp and crossed my arms, glaring at him.

“Did something happen to you?” he questioned in a dead serious voice.

I stared at Joey’s striking face realizing it wasn’t the same cheerful, teasing face, which with I had become acquainted. Instead it was grimmer than the grave. He was genuinely worried about me. His charming ocean-colored eyes were slightly bloodshot from loss of sleep. At that moment, I realized that this was bigger than just my own wish to forget that weekend in Seattle. This had begun to hurt my supposed best friend, and Joey was the last person I had wanted to harm with all of this.

Flinging my arms around him, I began to cry. Slightly taken aback by my sudden surge of emotion, Joseph slowly wrapped his arms around me and held me there.

“I’m so sorry,” I managed to choke out through the tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No, Becky,” he whispered. “You could never hurt me. I was just concerned about you. I was terrified that something really bad had happened to you. Did your dad come back or something?”

“No,” I answered, pulling away. “I have been trying to avoid Megan.”

“Megan?” he repeated, puzzled. “I thought you were okay with the um, sexuality thing.”

“Yeah, I am,” I sighed. “There’s just, there’s just something I have to tell you.”

Joseph sat down on the hood of his car and looked up at me. It reminded me of Iris for some reason, possibly since I wished she could see him right now with the setting orange sun dancing on his brown hair. God, he was incredibly good-looking. How could I have not dated him when I was straight? Then again, we basically had been dating for the past year. We were so close that nobody believed we were just friends any way. Even then in the parking lot, Joey reached up and held my hands in his.

“You can tell me anythin’,” he reminded me in a low voice. “You know that, right?”

“How are you and Iris?” I asked, quickly changing the subject.

With a puzzled look on his face, he answered, “Non-existent, she never calls me. We’ll talk at Jericho, but she’ll be distant. It really sucks, you know. But what does that have to do with what you have to tell me?”

I leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. Honestly, Joe must’ve been just as surprised by my acting on impulse as I was, but still, he placed his hands on my hips and kissed me back. With adrenaline rushing through my system, I lunged myself against him and ran my hands through his hair. Savagely thrusting my tongue into his mouth, he leaned back and lied down on the hood of his crappy old car.

Still to this day, I cannot find a definite reason why I kissed him. Maybe it was because I just wasn’t ready to admit to him that I was attracted to a girl. Maybe it was because he just looked so hot in that light. Maybe it was just because my teenage hormones were going absolutely insane. All I knew was that it was nowhere near as stupid as the next thing I did.

Joe pulled away from the kiss, panting heavily. I pushed myself off of him and rolled over next to him. Looking over at me, Joey touched my face gently.

“Joseph, I love you,” I whispered.

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. I was perfectly aware I was ruining four worlds, but I didn’t care. All I wanted was to be straight. I didn’t want the burdens that came along with my sexuality. All I wanted to be a normal girl with a normal boyfriend. It was selfish, but it was what I wanted. I knew that he was in love with Iris, but it wasn’t like I was going to be a bad girlfriend. Plus, it wasn’t going to really hurt Joey. Really I was just shielding him from hurt when Iris ultimately rejected him.

Yet I still felt guilty.

x.o

Sorry it took so long, but I had a busy month of finals and stuff.

Any way, I would also like to apologize the world for this chapter. Rebecca and Megan will get back together. Megan’s not going to buy any of this.