OBSESSION

Obsession.



Chapter 4.





I had just gotten out of the shower, when I heard the hammering at my door. I wrapped one of the standard, army issue towels around my hips and, still dripping wet, dashed to see who it was. Commander Jake stood there, an incredulous look appearing on his face as he looked me up and down. Oh shit, I’d forgotten to salute him! Now I’d be in trouble.



Instantly, my hand left its tight hold upon the towel covering me, and rose to the side of my head instead, as I tried desperately to placate him. To my horror, I felt the un-held towel begin to start slipping down. Now, I had a dilemma. Did I stand there, still holding my salute, naked?….Or did I disrespect my commanding officer by forgoing the salute to rescue my dignity?



Blushing madly, I kept my stance, and let the towel drop to the floor, falling around my ankles. I really wanted to go on this mission with the General, and pissing off my commander could put an end to that dream. I heard him chuckle at my embarrassment and nudity. Great, at least I hadn’t angered him.



“Sir?….Please Sir….May I have permission to retrieve my towel?” I asked, a little afraid he’d deny me. He hadn’t stopped looking at me, and it un-nerved me a little. What could be so fascinating about looking at my naked puny body?



“Permission granted Cadet,” he laughed, entering my room and closing the door. I quickly bent and picked up the towel, re-wrapping it more securely around my waist, and turning to see Commander Jake still watching me, his eyebrows arched.



“I can see why Zaphara would want you,” he said, softly, mentioning the generals name casually . “You have a very…..” He coughed. “Fit….body.”



Puzzled, I looked back at him. My physique wasn’t that exceptional. I was quite scrawny compared to most of the other recruits. In fact, when I had first applied to join the academy, I had been worried that my skinny frame would go against me. Since enlisting, I had been working out really hard, even exercising in my free time, trying my hardest to pump my muscles up. I knew that some of the weapons I would be expected to wield later in my training were really heavy, and if I didn’t have the arm power to hold them ,then………



But I must admit, even I had been surprised that the General had chosen me to join him on this mission. After all, I was hardly what you’d call an ‘A-One Soldier’….. not yet, anyways. And it seemed it was always the roughest, toughest soldiers that were selected to go on such ventures.



“Aspen? Are you sure you want to go? If you’d rather stay, I can always make excuses for you.” The commander stared at me, and I stared back. Not want to go? How could he say that? Of course I wanted to go. Who wouldn’t? This was an opportunity to further my career!



“You do know why he wants you to go, don’t you?” Commander Jake asked. Well…..No, frankly, I didn’t. And I didn’t really understand the question either. And I was more than a little piqued by the tone of voice the commander had just used. He sounded annoyed. But why the hell would he be annoyed? Was it because he hadn’t been asked to go? Perhaps he felt, as the better person, he should be going in my place. Perhaps this conversation was his way of saying I didn’t deserve to go…… that I wasn’t going, that he wanted me to drop out so that he could take my place.



Now I felt awkward. I’d only been with the company for a few months. I still had two years left to serve under this man, and he could make my life a living hell if he choose to do so. I couldn’t hide the disappointment from my face, dropping my head down so he wouldn’t see the tears that sprang suddenly to my eyes. Why leave it until now, until the very last minute, to tell me that I couldn’t go?



“Well Aspen, I’m waiting for your answer. Do you still want to go? Even knowing what he has planned for you?”



I raised my head up and looked at him, perplexed. “I….I don’t understand Sir,” I said. “What he has planned for me? I thought that my name had been forwarded to him, that I’d been recommended for the mission on my merits,” I answered.



The commander grinned. “Oh, so that’s what you though, is it?” He sighed, running a hand through his thick black hair, before questioning me again. “How many lovers have you had, Aspen?”



“Sir?” What the hell sort of question was that?



“Lovers, Aspen….Male or female. How many have you had?” I just stared at him, my mouth open and eyes wide. No way…..my commander could not have just asked me such a thing! He came toward me, and with one finger pushed my jaw shut, laughing at me. Then, with my mouth now firmly closed, his hand trailed down my bare arm.



“How many people have touched you Aspen…. intimately?” I backed away from him, as if his fingers burned my skin. “As I thought….you’re untouched, aren’t you boy?” he said, confidently. Okay, so he was right. But…so what if I was a virgin? What difference did it make to the mission I was supposed to go on? I couldn’t see the problem. “You really are beautifully naïve, Cadet Aspen. Oh yes, Zaphara is going to enjoy having your…..assistance, very much.”



My face brightened. “You….You mean….I’m still allowed to go?” I asked, barely able to contain the excitement in my voice.



Commander Jake gave a deep sigh. “Only if…….“ He looked at me, seemingly trying to make a decision. I looked right back at him, letting my eyes and not my mouth do my pleading for me. It seemed to work, for the frown he worn upon his lips broke into a smile. “Only if, you put some clothes on first,” he laughed. Relief flooded through me, and I couldn’t help it, I laughed too. Then I caught sight of him looking at the timepiece he wore, and smiling to himself. Glancing instinctively at my digital wall clock, my heart froze in horror. I had barely five minutes to get myself dressed and present myself at the parade ground. And I hadn’t even packed my backpack!….



“Excuse me Sir….” I said, hurrying into the bedroom, and tossing everything I needed to take into the backpack I had been given. I didn’t care how it went in, just so long as it went in. Then I pulled my clothes on, cussing because I somehow managed to don odd socks, one black and one dark brown. Ah, what the heck. No-one was going to see them anyway. I flicked a comb through my damp hair, giving a quick glance in the mirror. That’ll do. Then I dashed back into the room where Commander Jake was still waiting, to find my boots.



Only, I couldn’t find them. Anywhere! Nooooo. I glanced up at the clock again. I was now five minutes late. Commander Jake began chuckling to himself, and I turned to look at him. He was leaning against a wall, his arms folded. And he looked, happy.



“You know…..General Zaphara hates to be kept waiting. In fact….” he said, looking at me, “I don’t think I can recall a single occasion where he has ever waited.” Ignoring him, I began frantically searching the room for my boots again. I knew I’d left them by the door last night, I just knew I did. So where the fuck were they? “So it’ll be interesting…..” Commander Jake continued, “to see if he’s still waiting, when I let you get there.” Now I stopped searching, and I looked at him suspiciously. What the hell did he mean by that……. ‘When…I ….let you get there’



“Sir?….Do you know where my boots are?” I asked, anxiously. He pushed himself away from the wall, and waved an arm dismissively towards the door.



“They stank….You’ll find them outside,” he answered nonchalantly. With a gasp of joy, I raced and opened the door. Sure enough, chucked as far as he could throw them down the corridor, were my boots. I ran and brought them back in, going to the bedroom and sitting on the edge of the bed to put them on, tying up the laces with fumbling fingers. My eyes kept watching the clock. Almost ten minutes late. Commander Jake strolled casually into the room, walking up to me as I finally finished securing my foot attire. I was ready to go.



“He’ll definitely not let you accompany him if he sees the state of this backpack,” he said, as he upended the bag I’d packed, and tipped all the contents out over the bed. I almost swore, only just managing to refrain from using the F word on my superior officer. Why was he being such a bastard?



“Instead of glaring, don’t you think you’d better start repacking?…..Properly Cadet,” he cautioned, as I began to lob it all back in haphazardly. I forced myself to slow down, biting my lip to stop myself from throwing an angry retort back at him.



Finally finished, I looked at the clock. I was now over fifteen minutes late. There was no way the General would still be waiting for me. But I had to go and see. I had to hope for a miracle. With the blood pounding in my ears, I grabbed the stuffed backpack and headed out the door.



I ran as hard as I could. I was just one corner away from the parade ground, when I heard Commander Jake calling out to me.



“Aspen! Cadet Aspen!…..Haven’t you forgotten something?”



Wary of him, I stopped and turned back. He was standing there, dangling my military jacket out on the end of one finger, that damn smile of his still playing about his stupid face. I was torn. Did I waste more precious time and go and retrieve my clothing from him, or did I just leave it, and present myself inappropriately dressed onto the parade ground ? Fuck, I didn’t even know if anyone would still be there. But if they were, if General Zaphara had waited……..I hurried back to the commander, taking my jacket gratefully from his outstretched hand.



“Come here, let me hold on to your backpack while you put it on,” he offered, as I fought with the jacket, becoming entangled within the multiple straps and buckles and belts. “You can do the buttons up as we go along,” he advised, rumpling and messing up my neatly combed hair with one hand.



Although I knew it was all his fault that I was late, and that I had probably missed out on the chance of a lifetime, I was thankful for his offer of help, and relinquished my hold on the backpack. Finally managing to get my arms into the sleeves of the jacket, I started doing up all the numerous buttons……just as we reached the parade ground.



To my joy of joys, General Zaphara and his entourage were still there. Thank the gods, someone else must have been late too! I wasn’t the only one. But then I felt myself blush. I still wasn’t properly dressed yet, I still had a few buttons to fasten. What the hell would he think of me, not only turning up late, but in a state of undress as well?…..I looked down at the few remaining undone buttons, and hastily secured them, all but running the last few steps to him when I was finished. What if he wouldn’t let me accompany him now, because of my tardiness and bad presentation?……There was only one way to find out.



“Sir?….I’m sorry for being late Sir….Is it still alright for me to fall in, Sir?”



I looked up at him, my heart thumping in my chest., hardly daring to breathe. The General stared back down at me. His face was unreadable, but I could sense there was anger within the man. Someone must have pissed him off before my arrival. Great, now I must have just pushed him over the edge. I waited, holding my breath, dreading to hear the words of rejection I felt were coming.



“Zaphara….A word.” My commanding officer called the General over, and spoke quietly to him. I don’t know what was said, but suddenly the General turned to me, taking my backpack from Commander Jake and throwing it at me.



“You’ll be needing this,” he said. I couldn’t believe it. My commander must have stood up for me, told him it was all his fault way I was late. Before I had a chance to thank him, I heard someone calling to me from the ranks of soldiers that were lined up, waiting to leave.



“Aspen…Hey Aspen, over here! I’ve saved a space for you.” I turned, looking at all the faces before me. I didn’t know anybody there. Then I saw him, standing amongst the older, taller men, waving his arm and smiling. The boy that liked to play with my buttons.



I didn’t know his name, but at least his was a face I recognized in amidst a sea full of strangers. I smiled back, and quickly went to join him. At least I would have a friend while I was on this mission.



The General took his place at the head of the procession….and we were off.