Alarm

Disclaimer: All characters are mine

Summary: Hal Carson, a jaded Detective, lost his partner, Jim Walker, in a warehouse shooting. He has a tumultuous relationship with his ex, Leah Laverne, but they draw close through Hal’s emotional crisis. Can he work a case that involves her?


Warnings: m/f, angst, lemon

** Asterisks indicate thoughts

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Chapter Three



Jenny Walker had Leah over for tea, and the pair of them chatted quietly as the children played in the other room.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t hear earlier. I wanted to go to the funeral.” Leah said tearfully. Jenny put a hand on her shoulder.

“Jim has your love. That’s what’s most important. That, and the fact that you’re here now. I’m so glad you dropped by, things have been very difficult. The children are just beginning to realize their father is never coming back.” Jenny’s face twisted in a look of grief, fresh tears spilling out down her cheeks. Leah took her in a hug, Jenny holding onto her like she was the last human being on earth.

“Yes, I’ll always be here if you need me. Don’t hesitate to call. Ever.” Jenny was still sobbing when she pulled away from Leah, offering a small smile, though it did not reach her eyes.

“You know how they say, at funerals you shouldn’t grieve about the person you lost, but celebrate the life they have lived? Well, I think that’s a crock of shit. How can I possibly celebrate anything when I feel so sad?” Jenny said, voice quivering. Leah rubbed the older woman on the back.

“Life isn’t fair. We lose loved ones all the time, tragedy surrounds us. But, you have two beautiful children who need you to be strong, and they are gifts. They need you more than ever.” Leah offered a small smile. Jenny blew her nose.

“Yes, my children. Oh, I couldn’t live without them.”

Leah nodded, looking out to where the children were playing. The radio was on in the background, Ella Fitzgerald’s ‘All of Me’ barely audible. They were playing with Barbies.

“Remember, you let me know if you need anything. Babysitting, whatever. As much as your children are important, don’t forget you are too. Don’t neglect your health. You need to be able to grieve in order to overcome.” Leah said, reaching for her teacup.

“How is Hal?” Jenny asked quietly. Leah paused, holding her teacup. She had been visiting Hal for the last couple of days. True to his word, he hadn’t been very social, whenever they had spoken, the words had turned cold and callous. Definitely not the best way to help each other.

“He’s managing. He’s not in a good way, though his wounds are healing up nicely. I worry for his emotions. You know he has been closed up. Me too. You know…”

“I know.” Jenny said, this time consoling Leah.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore. We’re over, we have been for awhile. So why the fuck can’t I move on?” Leah spat angrily, eyes stinging with unshed tears. A knot had formed in her throat.

“How long has it been since the two of you broke up?” Jenny asked. Leah thought about it.

“Almost a year and a half. That’s my guess anyway. I didn’t really keep track at the time.”

Jenny put her hand over Leah’s.

“You do know he needs you now, more than anything, right?” She offered softly. Leah laughed bitterly.

“I know, I know. At least, I think I do. In my mind, it makes sense that he needs my help, that he benefits from me being there. When I am though, things just turn frigid. I second guess myself.”

“Don’t. He needs you to be strong. A year and a half, you say? Most times, that’s enough time for a person to get over their past love, and we know in this situation, that’s not necessarily the case.”

“Why not?”

“Because maybe you are not supposed to be over him. He probably isn’t over you. Ever since you two separated, when he visits he just looks glum most of the time. Actually, all the time. Is that the look of a man over his love? No, it isn’t.”

“We’re not meant to be together.” Leah said, letting the tears fall. Jenny squeezed her hand.

“I think you’re wrong. It’s going to take time, time, time, and patience. Communication too.”

“Well, we were never the best at that.”

“Perhaps that’s something to change then. For now though, just focus on his healing, physical at least. The emotional healing will take far longer.” Jenny took a sip of her tea. Leah admired her.

“Do you blame him for Jim’s death?” Leah asked. Jenny turned to her, startled.

“Heavens, no! What makes you think that?”

“I don’t think it, but I think Hal does. That’ll make him feel better, to know that you don’t hold him accountable of this tragedy.”

“No, never. I don’t think a bad thing about him. He tried his best.”

Leah smiled.

“He’ll be happy to hear that. I’ll tell him.”


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As Leah had said she would, her visits were constant. Hal went from dreading them, to anticipating them. Although not much was said while she was there, her presence was enough. Sometimes they would get into bitter arguments about the stupidest things, but as soon as she could see that his yelling was causing him pain, she would back off and wait for her mood to cool before talking to him again.

He hated that he fought with her, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t know how. It was the way it worked now between them, and he couldn’t bring himself to remedy it. It seemed the same way for Leah too. She was unable to fix the heated air between them. They always fought.

“Are you comfortable?” She asked. Hal frowned.

“Of course I am. If I wasn’t, I’d move.” It was little things like that that sparked an angry verbal match.

She turned her head away from him, breathing heavily, trying to control her temper. Hal wasn’t easy to be around, and she suspected he felt the same way about her.

Time passed in silence for a few minutes, before Leah deemed herself calm enough to speak.

“I went to Jenny’s yesterday to talk with her.” Hal turned to look at her, interested in what she had to say.

“Of course, she was torn up over Jim, but she’s holding herself together. The kids are alright. She’s being strong.” A look of misery passed by Hal’s eyes. Leah noticed it right away.

“She doesn’t blame you for anything, you know. What happened was just a terrible thing that the two of you got caught in.”

Hal grimaced, adjusting himself on the bed, thinking about what Leah had said. He felt better, knowing that Jenny didn’t hold him accountable for her husband’s death. It helped in the long run.

“I just wish it didn’t have to be him.” Hal said quietly.

“We all wish that you two could have come out together, but this is how it worked out. Now we just have to find a way to cope with our feelings.” Leah spoke as softly as Hal, studying his face. He looked up at her, their eyes locked for a seemingly long period of time. Eventually, Leah tore her gaze away to look at her lap, not wanting Hal to see all that she was feeling inside. Sometimes he could read her so well, it was unnerving.

Hal caught his breath. Underneath everything, she was still the same Leah that he remembered from so long ago. Her eyes were filled with sorrow, but wonderment, and a caring quality he had thought was gone.

*Of course you fool, did you think she would come here to be with you if she didn’t care?*

She was beautiful though. A beautiful woman, who used to be HIS beautiful woman. He kept reminding himself that things were different, though looking at her tear her eyes away and focus on her lap, sent many thoughts through his mind, things he didn’t really want to think about.

His heart skipped a beat when she looked at him again, those big brown eyes lacking the liveliness they once held.

“How long are you in here for?” She asked. He looked at her, her face already committed to memory, and thought about her question.

“Doctor Hill wants to see the stitches come out. I’d guess a couple more days, and then I’m free. I won’t be able to do a lot when I get out, I definitely can’t work.”

“I figured as much.”

“I do have to fill out some reports on what happened during the warehouse shooting, so I’m not looking forward to that.”

“I can imagine.”

Conversation was stilted between the two. It started as bickering, and now fell into an awkward silence, the atmosphere having changed somewhat. Leah didn’t know what happened, but she felt the air between them was slightly different. She thought back to what Jenny had told her yesterday.

*Is our love really and truly over?* She looked up at Hal, who was looking out the window from his bed. His profile was strong and interesting, with a long nose slightly curved up at the end, giving him a cute and youthful look. His eyes were sky blue, his blonde hair always a hit with everyone. She thought seriously about her question, looking at Hal without all the emotional baggage of the last year and a half attached.

*Maybe it isn’t. I still love him*

The nurse came in an hour later to inform Leah that visiting hours were over. She placed a hand on his shoulder before leaving. He watched her go, experiencing the familiar sensation of his heart being squeezed in an invisible fist.

The nurse shut the door behind her, leaving Hal in solitude once again. Was this how it was going to be for the rest of his life? People just coming and going whenever they pleased.

*You don’t help it at all, buddy* He reminded himself, the pain in his chest growing stronger, a lump forming in his throat. Was he always going to push Leah away? Or was she pushing him? He couldn’t tell. He hadn’t wanted to see her in the beginning, and now he looked forward to her daily visits.

*You’re one sick puppy.


Shut up.


You know it too. You need her.


I don’t. I haven’t. I’ve been fine without her for a good year and a half.


Counting, are you?


What’s that supposed to mean?


You still love her*



It felt like someone punched him in the gut, Hal couldn’t catch his breath. He was used to arguing with himself, but the startling realization that he had made him gasp for air like a drowning victim. Was it true? It had to be true. It was almost impossible. They shouldn’t be together, after everything that had transpired. God made it painfully obvious that they were not meant for one another.

*Or are you just blaming God for unfortunate circumstances? Things could be different*

Could things be different? Hal was confused. From what he had seen today in Leah, it looked like she had been having similar thoughts as well.

*We can’t get back together, it’s just not going to work*

Hal knew he was making excuses. The sour fights they were going through were just a thin shield to keep each other away, to try and deal with their feelings. Obviously, it wasn’t going to work forever. Especially if they kept seeing one another like this. Hal would need help after he was released from the hospital, but he hadn’t informed Leah of that just yet. He was almost afraid that she would reject him.


He was a little terrified of admitting to himself that he was still in love with Leah. His mother would call him foolish, and try to knock some sense into him. She had been trying to since they had broken up. Leah and his mother always seemed to have a special relationship with one another, much like his mother had taken Leah under her wing.

That afternoon, the air between them had changed. He felt it, he knew she did too. What could he say though, that would make everything better again.

*You can’t make anything better, what’s done is done*

He felt guilty though, for letting her down. In truth, they probably let each other down, by not supporting one another, instead they fought all the time. That’s what tore them apart. When they needed each other the most, they didn’t come through. He remembered sitting in his car in the parking lot of the police station, head against the steering wheel, feeling his heart break right there. She must have felt that too…

Hal wanted to make things right, but he didn’t know how. He didn’t know if they were too far gone to try and make
something work again. If any sort of relationship could keep them together anymore. It was all too puzzling and made his heart hurt more than he would like.

He supposed he could talk to her about it, but not here, not in the hospital. Maybe if she agreed to help him after he was released, he would bring it up sometime, when she was in a good mood. If she ever was in a good mood.



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A/N: Thanks for reading! More to come soon! Please review, I live for them! :)

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