White Flag

Authors Note: Not many people (if any at all) seem to be reading this story. This is very discouraging and I am wondering if it’s even worth it to keep writing. I myself think this lack of readers is because of the stupid summary. That and the fact that this is not just any slash story. I am trying to explore the relationship of Killian and Mark by testing them but in order to do this properly, I have to build a proper scene and that takes some time. Something people obviously don’t have. This story may be pointless at present time but I think it will be better once I get the real plotline started. If I ever even get to that. I also intend to make this into a story with depth beyond just slash and fluff. I want to turn this into something more than that. Anyway, enough chattering about the story and let’s get on with it.


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Chapter 2

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It was snowing again. The wind wasn’t blowing anymore and the snowflakes fell softly to the earth almost in slow motion. A fat snowflake found its way to the top of Killian’s nose but he didn’t notice as it melted, becoming a shiny drop of water that slowly ran down to his lips, leaving a wet trail.

He didn’t notice much of anything around him as he walked over a parking lot with his hands deep in his pockets, seemingly lost in thought. The sky was slowly becoming lighter as the sun started its journey for the day behind the heavy clouds.

Killian’s mind was somewhere else and he didn’t turn his head to look before he left the parking lot and walked out onto the empty street. In his head, he was still at the hospital getting bombarded with news that he couldn’t really take in, meeting new people all the time who just kept telling him things he didn’t want to hear. Was that social worker he had talked to male or female? He couldn’t recall.

He or she had told him some shocking things and his head was still spinning from the meetings he had had during that night. Behind all the information given about his brother, there was also the thing about his father being dead. He couldn’t really take that in either. Their relationship had been stormy to say the least and he hadn’t even heard from him for three years and now he was dead. Dead as in really, really dead. He would never come back.

Killian shook his head as he opened a massive door and ran up countless stairs until he reached a grimy white door. He took a deep breath and ran his had through his hair, noting that it was sweaty at the roots in his neck and around his brow. This was odd because he was shaking slightly with cold.

He rang the doorbell and waited for a few minutes before he heard some noise behind it. He rang again and this time, he pressed the button a little longer than necessary and he heard someone swear behind it in return. The door opened and his mother was standing in front of him, doing her best to frown up at his as she tried to stand up straight.

Her short, blond hair was standing up in all directions and she was wearing a cosy looking night gown with Garfield getting licked by that dog on it. She looked like she was about to fall asleep again right there where she was leaning against the wall. She had closed her eyes and she looked like she was losing balance.

“Whadyewanathisour.” she murmured as she cracked an eye open to glare at her son in dismay.

“What?”

“I said…What do you want…at this hour?” she said, opening the other eye as well, looking slightly more alert than a few seconds ago.

Killian didn’t quite know how to begin. For a moment he forgot what he was doing here and he felt some form of guilt wash over him as the knowledge that he had woken his mother settled in. He knew she had a hard time falling asleep. His little memory loss didn’t last too long, however and his fingers started shaking again and he felt his throat go dry as he tried to open his mouth to speak up.

“Mom…dad is dead.” he said, surprising himself by how easily that went.

“What? What do you mean dad is dad? Of course he is.” she said, reminding him that she was in fact still half asleep.

He took two steps forward and shook her slightly by the shoulders, much to his mother’s irritation. When he let go, she looked a lot more awake and angry but he ignored it.

“I said, dad is dead, mom!” he said, raising his voice in order to make her understand something he himself was incapable to believe just yet.

“He’s what?” she asked, seemingly being pushed out of the sleepy haze she had been in, by her son’s words.

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Leticia Woodward was sitting in her kitchen with a mug of strong coffee in her shaking, sweaty hands. She had a brown blanked thrown around her shoulders and she was staring out the window, letting her coffee slowly turn cold.

The sky was starting to become light outside, signalling that it was morning. A few people were moving about lazily down the street but it wasn’t nearly as busy at it usually was at this hour. She pondered the reason for a moment and when her eyes landed on the Christmas tree on the balcony of her neighbour, she remembered. It was Christmas morning.

She craned her head to the side and she looked into her living room. Yes, there was a Christmas tree there as well. It was really Christmas morning despite the surreal feeling she had in her chest.

“Mom? Are you all right?”

She turned her head and was met by the tired face of her son. His eyebrows were furrowed and concern shone in his eyes. Fatigue had left its handprint on his handsome face and he looked much older than he usually did. She was startled by the mature look on his boyish face and she knew she hated it. This was not how he was supposed to be.

“Yes, I’m okay.” she said, more to convince herself than her son.

In all honesty, she didn’t know if she really believed that herself. After all, her son had just told her that her ex-husband was dead. Now she was thinking of how many times she had wished him dead since they had gotten married. Some form of guilt was slowly creeping up on her.

Hers and Victor Woodward’s marriage had been hell. Five years of it had left her exhausted, insecure and abused in more ways that she could ever tell. She had been relieved when it was over and she could finally say that she was free of Victor. Killian was five years old back then and she hoped that he hadn’t been affected too much by those horrible first five years. She left the court house with so much hope for their future. A future without Victor Woodward in it. She had been determined to somehow erase those five years from Killian’s memory. This proved to be a more difficult task that she had ever imagined. Her dreams had been shattered to pieces only a few months after the divorce.

Victor had always had problems with alcohol. While the passion of a newfound love lasted, she couldn’t see this. She couldn’t see any of his flaws. She had been eighteen years old and she had fallen madly in love with the beautiful man that came into the coffee shop she and her friends so often visited.

He was charming and wild and she felt that he had shown her a world of excitement and wonders. With him, she felt alive and she couldn’t understand how she could have lived without all of that excitement before.

A year later, they got married, much to the dismay of her Christian parents who wanted her to have an education and wait with marriage until she was a little more mature and until she found a nice boy. Instead, Victor came to her during a hot summer night and they eloped together. By this time, she was pregnant with Victor’s child and she couldn’t have been happier. Six months later she gave birth to the most beautiful baby boy and they were now a happy family of three.

The problems came later on when they both realized that they were still too young and inexperienced with everything. The passion they once held for each other slowly died and while they still loved each other, they were experiencing more and more problems. Victor made friends with people that Leticia didn’t want to have around her newborn baby and the fights soon started.

Victor started drinking more and more until it became ordinary fare for him to come home so drunk that he couldn’t recognize his own wife and son.

On Killian’s second birthday, Victor hit her for the first time. The next day, when the realization of what he had done, hit him; Victor promised that he would never drink again. After that things were good again. Victor had left his friends and he came home sober from work. They had more money since Victor didn’t spend it on alcohol. They were happy. They even talked about a sibling for Killian.

Their happiness came to an abrupt ending when Victor’s sister moved into town. She was having troubles with alcohol as well and Victor had decided to help her. Soon enough, he spent most of his days at her house, helping her and taking care of her. He came home late at night exhausted and cranky after a long day at work and then at his sister’s house. Leticia hardly saw him anymore and after a while it started to irritate her that Victor’s sister was controlling their lives like that. Victor hardly ever saw his son and they never talked anymore. When they did, it always ended with a fight and Leticia noticed that Victor’s sister was tearing them apart. She tried to tell Victor but he took his sister’s side. One night, Victor came home drunk. Soon he came home like that every night and the fights and the abuse started all over again. This time, Victor didn’t seem to regret hitting Leticia.

One afternoon Leticia visited Victor’s sister because she needed a ride to the hospital because Killian was sick and needed to see a doctor. She knew Victor was at his sister’s house and she decided she would ask him to drive them. Victor’s sister was furious about this and would not let Victor take them to the hospital. The three of them started fighting and Victor ended up slapping Leticia on the cheek in front of their sick son and his drunken sister. Leticia started crying and collecting their things to leave and the last thing she heard Victor’s sister say, was:

“If you were my wife, I’d hit you day and night, you whore!”

That was the first time Leticia considered getting a divorce.

When Killian was five years old she moved back to her parent’s home. After the divorce she was looking forward to never seeing Victor again. She kept his last name but only because Killian had the same last name and she didn’t want to confuse him further by changing it. Victor had said that he would move from town and never come back. This suited Leticia very well but it was not what happened.

Victor stayed in town for six more moths and he had made their lives a living hell. He had come to her parent’s house when he was drunk and he screamed that he would kill them all and that he wanted to see his son. He had lost custody over him and he didn’t even have the right to see him, yet he demanded that they hand over Killian to him.

After those infernal six months Victor moved away and for three years it was peace and quite. Leticia had moved into her own apartment with Killian and they lived a happy life. Killian seemed to have forgotten about what had happened and he had developed just like every other child his age. This made Leticia very happy and she was relieved that the divorce hadn’t left any traces on her son. She was convinced that they had seen the last of Victor and she was happy about it.

When Killian was eight years old, Victor started to write to him. Killian was excited and happy about this and Leticia was torn between her knowledge of what Victor was capable of and the need Killian had for a father. Finally she decided that she wouldn’t get in the way of her son’s happiness, mainly because Victor seemed to have matured.

She was wrong. Victor had hurt her over and over again by hurting their son. At first he had promised so many things to Killian and then he suddenly stopped writing. Killian was devastated. She had to see him go through this betrayal and she couldn’t do anything.

This tango-like relationship continued until Killian was twenty and he finally understood what his father was all about. Killian had ended it all by telling Victor just what he thought about him. Leticia watched with pain as his son grew into a man who had been deceived by his father’s lies over and over again. She had asked herself on countless occasions if she had been doing the right thing by letting Killian decide on his own if he wanted to have a connection to his father. She still didn’t know.

Now Victor was dead and all she felt was relief. Relief that came a decade too late.

She looked at Killian and studied his face. He seemed troubled.

“Mom…” he said, his voice shaky and breathless. She looked at him to show that she was listening but she didn’t have the energy to say anything.

“He wants me to take care of Theodor.” he said, looking instantly more relieved as these words left his mouth.

“What?”

“He told the doctors that he wants me to take care of Theo…to become his legal guardian, should he die.” he made a pause, his eyes becoming wide with something akin to fear. “And he’s dead, mom and so is his wife.”

Leticia couldn’t believe her ears. Was this really happening? This could simply not be true. It seemed so very surreal. She must still be asleep and dreaming because her son could not be sitting here, telling her that his father was dead and that he was to take care of his father’s child.

“Why?”

“I don’t know! That’s what they said!” Killian cried, waving his hands, looking more frustrated than she had ever seen him. Frustrated and panic-stricken.

“Isn’t there anyone else who can take care of him?”

“No. I don’t know! They are looking into it right now but all of his relatives are dead. So are all of hers.” he said, his voice colouring the last word with a drawl.

“Well…if it comes to that, are you going to do it?” she asked trying very hard not to sound too bold.

“I don’t know. I came here to ask what you think.” he admitted and suddenly he had the look of an eight year old boy whose father had not written him like he had promised.

“Why would he do this? Why would he leave his son to me?” he asked and Leticia could hear that he wasn’t far from breaking into tears.

She rounded the table and sat beside him, putting her arms around his shoulders, dragging him down into an awkward hug.

“I don’t know sweetheart. I don’t know.” she said, rubbing comforting circles into his back just like when he was a boy.

She felt a sudden anger rising within her as she held her son like this in the middle of her kitchen on Christmas morning.

Victor had managed to do it again. He had managed to ruin a day that should have been perfect for their son. He should have been in his apartment with his boyfriend. They should have been asleep, dreaming about the perfect Christmas that they were having.

Now Victor had once again ruined that by dying on Christmas Eve, leaving their son with a decision that he should not have to make.

She knew it was wrong of her to feel this way and somewhere deep inside she was somewhat touched by the fact that Victor had chosen Killian for this task but at the same time she was also furious at him and not just for ruining Killian’s Christmas but because she knew what it meant to be young and to have to take care of a child. Killian was neither ready nor knowledgeable with what it really meant. How dare Victor ask this of him?

“What should I do?” that was the question Leticia was afraid of.

She wanted to tell Killian not to care about the child, that it would most likely be adopted and have a lovely family and that Killian needn’t concern himself with such problems. She wanted to tell him to focus on his career and not care about his father’s child.

At the same time, she knew that the child was not to be blamed for his father’s deeds and that he was in fact a part of Killian’s life even if she didn’t like it. He was bound to Killian by blood and she herself had taught Killian to always care for family, no matter what. Killian would feel obliged to take care of his brother and she couldn’t stop him from that either. Killian would have to do what he felt was the right thing to do and she wasn’t the right person to stop him from doing it. No one had the right to stop him from doing what he wanted to do. She had taught him this too.

She knew now why Killian had come to her. She knew that Killian had most likely made up his mind about this matter right after he found out about it and now he had come to her in order to be stopped. He must have felt that his mother was the only one who could stop him from doing what he had already decided to do. Perhaps somewhere deep inside, he was hoping she would do just that but she knew it would be wrong of her to. She sighed deeply and her voice was strained when she said:

“What do you think is the right thing, honey?”

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To Be Continued

Author’s Note: So those of you who actually read this thing, got to find out more about how Killian grew up. In this chapter I have introduced Leticia and made her into a big character. She’s not a main character but she will have a big role in this. You also got to know more about Victor. I feel sorry for him because he is so weak.

I think this story is a truly serious one and that it will take me some time to come to the end of it….if I decide to go so far with it. Right now, I feel like I might not really have the energy to what with it being so unpopular and all but I won’t give up yet. I like this story far too much for that. Anyway, please tell me what you think about it. I really need to know.