Even Angels Fall

Zip opened his eyes up to find himself lying in his bed late the next morning, and rolled over onto his side, trying to will away the hangover he knew was going to overtake him as soon as he allowed himself to fully wake up. “Why did I drink so much last night?” he grumbled, and then suddenly cursed, the first wave of a headache moving over him.

Flopping onto his back again, Zip pulled the covers tightly around him and stared at the ceiling. He knew why he had drunk like that the night before. He had done it to try to forget what an incredibly sick feeling he had gotten when he realized he had been checking out Eddie’s little sister at the shower.

‘Cause that would put me in Sin’s good graces,’ Zip told himself sarcastically. ‘I could just walk up to her and say, “I can’t have you, so do you mind if I fuck your boyfriend’s sister?”’ Shortly after realizing who Sarah actually was, Zip had left the party and headed directly to a nightclub. It was a huge place, and he knew he would run into a ton of people who would buy him drinks and stroke his ego. Then, if he found a girl that looked interesting for the evening, he would get rid of the sick feeling in his stomach by going home with her.

Of course, Zip had not planned on being unable to shake Sarah’s image from his mind. ‘What the hell?’ he thought angrily to himself. ‘She’s not even that beautiful. And it’s not like I even spoke to her. Besides, there’s no fucking way ANYTHING could happen with her, or else Sin would kill me where I sleep.’ Despite all this, throughout the previous evening he would suddenly be hit with a picture in his mind of those soft brown eyes and those innocently splattered freckles…

So, pretty early on, Zip had given up on the idea of sleeping with anyone else that night, afraid something really fucked up might happen, like him imagining the girl he was with was actually Sarah. He concentrated on getting himself completely lit and going home to pass out in his bed alone, which is what he did shortly after midnight.

‘I can’t believe I got plastered because I couldn’t get Eddie’s sister out of my head,’ Zip mumbled to himself. ‘I have to have fucked up wiring or something; I have to have a death wish. Why else would I spend the entire night thinking about someone I barely knew, who is basically the ONLY girl in the world who, if I fucked, I’d lose any chance of ever even being Sin’s friend.’

‘Of course, it would probably kill Eddie,’ Zip chuckled to himself. ‘Doing his baby sister… his head would probably explode.’

“You need professional help,” Zip said aloud with a smirk as he tried to sit up, immediately putting his hand to his pounding head. “Come on, even YOU aren’t dickish enough to fuck some poor, young, innocent girl just to piss off your ex-girlfriend’s present boyfriend. Right?”

As if in response to his own question, another picture of Sarah popped into Zip’s head as he rose off the bed, and he felt his body stir slightly in response to the image. “Okay, maybe you’re dickish enough,” he said out loud. “But you just WON’T, got it? Because you like having your cock attached to your body, and if you fucked Sarah, Sin would make it so that wasn’t true anymore.”

-----

After work on Monday, Ava came home with Sarah. They were getting pretty friendly lately, being as they both worked in the same offices, although Sarah worked a pretty boring job full-time as the assistant to the Sales Manager, and Ava instead was a contracted worker as Sin’s assistant, meaning she spent a lot of time at shoots and got to come and go from the office at will. “I can’t believe Chris finally asked you out,” Ava grinned at Sarah as they entered the studio apartment. “I had thought I saw him looking at you a few times, but I also thought he might be…”

“Gay?” Sarah supplied. “Because that’s what I thought. I mean, it’s probably a really messed up thing to say, but he just gives off that vibe… He’s so quiet and polite and well dressed. To be honest, when he asked if I wanted to go to dinner, I had no idea what he was talking about. It never crossed my mind that he might be straight – let alone interested in dating me!”

Flopping down on the couch, Ava grinned. “Well, apparently he’s both straight AND interested,” she told Sarah. “So, are you excited? This is your first date since you moved to New York, right? And even though he appears gay at first, Chris is quite a cutie. I had actually thought he might be a good match for Scott in Fashion Editing a few months ago…”

Smirking, Sarah sat down on the couch. “Well, you never know,” she rolled her eyes at Ava. “He still might be. Maybe he’s still in the closet.”

Elbowing Sarah jokingly, Ava looked a little concerned suddenly. “You know, you never answered me,” she told her friend. “Are you excited about your date with Chris?”

Biting her lip, Sarah thought about the question. The truth was, a week ago she would have been thrilled to have a date with just about anyone. And Chris was cute. He had light hair and eyes, a tall lean body, and he wore those wire-rimmed glasses that made young men look intelligent and scholastic. But now….

“Sure,” Sarah said with less than complete enthusiasm. “It’ll be great.”

Raising her eyebrows in skepticism, Ava studied Sarah’s expression. “Don’t get so worked up,” she said sarcastically. “You’ll blow a gasket.”

Rolling her eyes, Sarah tucked her legs under her and tried to think of something she could say to Ava. “I think I’m just nervous,” she lied, feeling a little guilt pulling at her stomach. “I haven’t been on a date in a long time, and I just don’t want to say or do anything to make him think I’m a gigantic loser.”

This explanation, however false, seemed to be acceptable to Ava, and she reached over to pat Sarah’s arm. “That is totally understandable,” she told the girl. “I mean, you’ve just made all these huge changes in your life, and now you’re going on a date for the first time in a long time. We don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“Thanks,” Sarah sighed with actual relief. Leaning over, she grabbed a take-out menu from the coffee table and handed it to Ava. “Here, let’s order some food. I’m starving.”

“Sounds good,” Ava started looking through the menu in her hand. “You know, I used to love quiche, but I think Joseph ruined it for me this past weekend at the baby shower. Those little mini quiche appetizer things he made tasted incredible; I don’t think anything I could ever order from a restaurant would taste anywhere near as good.”

“That’s true,” Sarah replied, thrilled with the topic that Ava had brought up. Sarah had been trying to think of some way to casually talk about the shower, but she hadn’t known how. “All the food was incredible. If I were Lianna and Joseph was cooking like that, I’d weigh as much as she does without being pregnant.”

Ava chuckled but said nothing, still studying the menu, so Sarah continued. “So, I guess it was probably kind of awkward for Sin and Eddie. I mean, with Zip being there and all,” she held her breath as she finally skirted the subject she really wanted to talk to Ava about.

“I guess,” Ava shrugged, looking up from the menu. “But at least they had each other. I’d imagine it was even stranger for Zip, though, seeing them there together, seeing them being so happy.”

“You said hello to him, I noticed,” Sarah once again tried to appear unconcerned as she took the menu back from Ava and pretended to start going over it herself. “So I guess you don’t hate him or anything…”

Putting her feet up on the coffee table and leaning back into the couch, Ava didn’t seem to notice anything weird about the conversation. “Sin’s got no hard feelings for Zip,” she told Sarah. “So I don’t see any reason to. I mean, he isn’t all bad. Just mostly.”

Forcing herself to smile a little about this comment, even though it had made her stomach jump, Sarah looked down at the couch. “Yeah, Eddie never really told me to much about Sin and Zip,” she said as she started picking at an imaginary loose thread in the upholstery. “I don’t really know much about him…”

“It’s not really my place to say anything,” Ava did not seem bothered by the conversation still, to Sarah’s relief. “Besides, I didn’t even know them when they were really together, years ago. All I know is that it seems like Zip can be a pretty bad guy sometimes, and for once, Sin went for the good guy – your brother – and she’s never been happier.”

“I’m glad they’re together, Sin and Eddie,” Sarah told Ava honestly. “They totally compliment each other. But how about you? Don’t you think…” she paused, blushing. “I mean, don’t you think that sometimes – and I’m not talking about my brother here, just generally – don’t you think good guys can get boring pretty quick?”

“You have to find the right balance. And I think I know why you’re asking all these questions.” Immediately, Sarah froze up but said nothing, so Ava continued. “See, I think your last boyfriend ended up being this generic ‘good guy’ but you were completely bored with him. And now Chris – who seems to be another ‘good guy’ – has asked you out, and you’re afraid you’re going to get stuck in another stagnant relationship.”

“That’s it,” Sarah sighed with relief that Ava had guessed entirely the wrong reasoning for her questions. “That’s exactly what I was thinking. Chris seems nice, but I’m afraid he might be boring. Sometimes I just wish I could find some exciting, dangerous guy…”

“As someone who has dated the exciting, the boring, the dangerous, and everything in between in my time,” Ava smirked at Sarah. “Let me just tell you that a little steadiness and safety aren’t always the worst. The thing is, dangerous guys like Zip, for example, they never get boring.” Leaning forward, she picked up a magazine off the table. “However, they do have a tendency to get herpes.”

Using all her energy, Sarah forced a laugh at that comment. The thing was, none of what Ava was saying just now was making a difference. For the last forty-eight hours, Sarah had been unable to think of much besides Zip. His dark stare had been so intense, and his arrogant smile had made Sarah’s skin tingle. For two days, Sarah had lived with images of the gorgeous man flying through her mind, wondering how his body would feel under her hands and what his skin would taste like on her tongue, making her want to lick his-

“Beef,” Ava interrupted Sarah’s thoughts, and Sarah looked at her with complete confusion, her face flushing. “I want the beef platter with fries. Are you going to order the food soon? You said you were starving.”

“I am,” Sarah agreed in a soft voice.

------

Whenever the band was on break, neither on tour nor in the studio recording, Zip found himself getting bored very easily. And this time was far from an exception. In fact, by Thursday of that week, he felt like a caged animal in his place, so he decided to stop by Joseph’s to see how he and Lianna were doing.

“So where is Lianna?” Zip asked as he followed Joseph into the kitchen. Pushing himself up and taking a seat on the counter, he looked over to where Joseph had gone back to chopping vegetables, which he had been doing when Zip first arrived at his door.

“She’s out with Madison getting a few last minute things,” Joseph told Zip with a grin. “There are only six weeks until her due date, and we just want to make sure we have everything we need in case the baby should come early. Which we hope doesn’t happen, but just in case… We want to make sure we have all the essentials waiting here when we bring Aiden home for the first time.”

Shaking his head, Zip smiled at his band mate. “And to think that, just a few years ago, Rolling Stone wrote an article saying that it was hard to figure out who was the most outrageous member of Broken Dynamite – you or me.”

Smiling back at Zip, Joseph nodded, not an iota of regret for his changed ways showing on his handsome face. “It is funny,” he replied. “I’d have to say that there’s no comparison anymore. You, my friend, have won the title. I am now more like a housewife than a rock-and-roll wildman.”

Chuckling, Zip looked over at Joseph. “Doesn’t seem to bother you,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Not in the slightest,” Joseph grinned. “I’m exactly where I want to be, with exactly who I want to be with.” Suddenly, he looked a little guilty. “Not that everyone should stop the party life at the same time… Some people need more time to go out there and have a good time before they-”

“Shut up,” Zip cut Joseph off, laughing heartily. “You didn’t fucking insult me, loser. Your life is right for you, and mine is right for me. End of story.”

“Yeah,” Joseph replied sarcastically. “That’s why you spent the entire fucking baby shower staring at Sin and Eddie. I’m not trying to be a dick, buddy, but it’s clear that you are just waiting for the right person to come along. Enjoy the groupie life for now, my friend, because as far as I can tell, you are ready for something deeper.”

“When did you become a chick?” Zip snapped back at Joseph with annoyance. “I SAID that your life is good for you. So stop fucking analyzing me, okay?”

Looking up from the vegetables he was chopping, Joseph felt badly when he saw that Zip was staring at the floor, a look of bother plastered across his face. Although none of what he had just said were untrue, Joseph felt like he probably shouldn’t have said anything at all. “Zip, I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t,” Zip replied coldly, not looking up from the floor. “I don’t need your fucking support of my lifestyle for me to feel fine with the way I live. I have never told anyone how to live their lives, and I don’t need anyone telling me.”

An awkward silence filled the room as Joseph began chopping again. He really wanted to apologize once more, but he was pretty sure that would be a bad move. He thought maybe he should make a joke, comment on how many girls had found out that ‘Zip’ was an inaccurate nickname for his friend, at least in the bedroom, but that would seem too forced. In actuality, there was nothing Joseph could say to make the situation better.

“We’re cool, loser,” Zip said suddenly, as if reading Joseph’s mind. “You stick your nose where it doesn’t belong pretty often, but I’m used to it.”

With a smile to himself, Joseph nodded. “I do,” he agreed, looking up at Zip and happy to see his friend looking back at him. “As I said, I’ve become a housewife – a fifties-style interfering no-good know-it-all.”

“Yep,” Zip laughed in joking agreement. “Anyway, it’s fine. And the baby shower was fine. I even spoke to Sin and Eddie for a little while. Even though I don’t get what she sees in that guy… I’m glad she seems happy.”

“You’re a good friend to her for saying that,” Joseph told Zip honestly.

“Whatever,” Zip continued, ignoring Joseph’s compliment. “Anyway, the shower went great. Everyone seemed to have a real good time. But I have to say, I was a little surprised when Lianna pointed out Eddie’s sister. She looks pretty sweet and innocent, but she doesn’t have that countrified feel that Eddie gives off.”

“Don’t even think about it,” Joseph said quietly, not lifting his eyes.

“What?” Zip tried to sound shocked.

Putting down the knife, Joseph looked up at his friend. “Don’t even think about it,” he repeated. “That is one place that is NOT okay to go.”

“You’re being a dick.”

“I don’t care,” Joseph replied honestly. “Whatever thoughts you may have possibly going through your head about Sarah, forget them now. It would be wrong on so many levels. First of all, Sin would hate you. Secondly, Eddie would want to kill you. And finally… dude, she’s a kid. She’s twenty, and until three months ago, she spent her whole life in a town with, like, ten-thousand people. She can be a brat, but she IS just a kid. It would be fucked up on so many levels. So forget it.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to fuck her,” Zip was defensive.

“You didn’t have to,” Joseph replied calmly, picking back up the knife and beginning chopping again. “I’ve known you long enough. You also didn’t say you wanted to fuck Sin when she first moved in with me and Tay, but I knew it, and I was right. But this time it’s different. So just don’t.”

“Get out of my fucking ass, man,” Zip sounded pissed off. I have no intention of… I was just asking.”

“Asking what?” Madison said as she and Lianna entered the room

Looking over at the girls with shock at their presence, Zip wasn’t sure how to react. “Nothing,” he finally said, pushing himself off the counter. “I was just leaving anyhow. Later.”

Watching Zip leave the kitchen, a look of confusion on her face, Madison turned towards Joseph. “Was it something I said?” she asked him.

Looking at Madison for a moment, Joseph just let out a sigh. His eyes moved over towards where Lianna was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, an equally quizzical look on her face, although she never was one to push Joseph to say things he wasn’t ready to say.

“Okay, forget I was here,” Madison rolled her eyes. “Lee, I had fun. Call me when your boy and his over-testosteroned friends are down for actually hanging out.”

As soon as Madison left the condo, Joseph had an overwhelming urge to say something to Lianna about his conversation with Zip. After all, considering how tumultuous their relationship had been in the beginning, he hated hiding anything at all from Lianna. But several thoughts stopped him. Firstly, he would be violating Zip’s trust. Second, while he had made a few allusions to the fact, Zip didn’t say anything particular about Sarah to him.

Finally, if Joseph did say anything to Lianna and in ANY WAY it got back to Sin, she would kill Zip. Period.

“Is everything okay?” Lianna finally asked, her voice gentle and non-invasive.

“Everything’s fine,” Joseph gave Lianna a smile while he broke the space between them with just a few steps. Putting his arms around Lianna, he gave her a warm hug, loving how her full belly pressed against his stomach.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Joseph pulled back with a smile, but quickly that turned to a frown. “How old is Kirsten?” he asked suddenly.

“My sister?” Lianna asked with confusion. “Seventeen. Eighteen in January.”

“So she graduates next year?” Joseph asked a totally bewildered Lianna.

“Yeah,” Lianna replied. “Why?”

“No reason,” Joseph tried to sound nonchalant. “So, does she know where she’s going to apply to college?”

“I think her first choice is Berkeley,” Lianna now looked completely lost. “But I know she wants to stay in California. Why?” Lianna’s confusion was now taking the best of her.

“No reason,” Joseph smiled widely at his girlfriend. “I’m just glad she wants to go to school in California.”

I WILL REPLY TO COMMENTS AFTER THE NEXT CHAPTER. I JUST WANTED TO GET THIS ONE UP. BUT THANKS TO ALL WHO READ AND REVIEWED. YOU ARE THE REASON I KEEP POSTING!