Rose Colored Blindfold

Rose Colored Blindfold Rose Colored Blindfold   By Amanda and Tenchi Kaze   Chapter 2   "Master?" Raquel called, standing outside the door of Itiel's chambers with a tray holding a teapot and cups filled to the brim. "I've brought your tea!"   "It's about time," Machiavellia muttered, sitting next to Itiel on the bed. "Why don't you let your loyal puppy... oops, I mean servant... come in?"   Itiel decided to ignore Machiavellia's offhand insult, standing and going to the door of the room. He opened the door, looking down at the boy. "Thank you. We'll be sure to enjoy it."   "You're welcome. I hope Mistress Machiavellia likes it. I put some cinnamon in the tea to make it sweeter." He smiled, walking into the room and setting the tray down on a nightstand.   Finding himself smiling despite himself, Itiel said, "Caroline must have told you what I like. I'm glad, as I quite like the sweetness of cinnamon; the kind that's different than sugar."   "I'm glad," Raquel replied, smiling at his master and then at his mistress. "And what do you think, Mistress? I tried to make it just perfect for you."   Machiavellia reached for one of the cups, taking a sip of the tea. She thought for a moment, drinking a little more before commenting, "Hm, it's not bad. Did you make this aaaaall by yourself?" Her voice was teasing.   "Caroline helped me with it a little after she showed me where everything was," the boy replied, "but I did most of it on my own."   "Hm, then let's see where mostly your own efforts got you," said Itiel. He took a sip, and was pleasantly surpri "Th "This is quite good, Raquel," he said, taking another sip. He was hesitant to add the next sentence, but did so anyway. "I don't think I've ever had better," he admitted, sipping again.   "You haven't had Caroline's tea in a while, then, if you think this is better," Machiavellia remarked, setting her cup down and looking at Raquel with obvious disdain.   Itiel shook his head. "No, I remember her tea. Raquel, you must have mixed it differently, or something of the sort. It's different from hers, and better in a way," he said, partially not believing the extent to which he was complimenting the boy. Normally he wouldn't even have bothered. The most even Caroline got out of him in the way of praise was a curt, "The tea was good."   "Thank you... but... I'm not sure what I did, but the mistress doesn't seem pleased with how the tea came out." Raquel's heart sank momentarily. "I'm sorry, Mistress. I'll try to make it more to your taste next time," he apologized, bowing his head. "I'll try harder, I promise. Please accept my apology."   "I accept... but you need to work on your method of making tea," Machiavellia replied coolly.   "At least for those who are not easily satisfied," said Itiel, setting down his cup and saucer on the tray after he had finished with them. "You may experiment a bit when you make tea for Machiavellia, but you are to keep the blend precisely how it is right now for me."   "I'll remember that," Raquel replied, smiling a little. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"   "We are fine, for now," Itiel replied, handing the tray back to Raquel. "Should I need you again, I shall ask for you."   "Yes, Master. I'll go back to the kitchens with Caroline and see if we can improve the tea later." He bowed to them both, carefully exiting the room with the tray and dishes.   "Don't run into anything on the way," Machiavellia said sweetly. "It'd be a shame if you broke one of those cups."   "Right..." said Itiel as Raquel left, feeling strangely put off by Machiavellia's attitude. He didn't know why, as the woman had been behaving in the same way ever since she had first arrived at the manor. However, for some unknown reason, it made him feel uneasy now.   ******   A few days later, Itiel found himself in the small library of the house. Normally he didn't spend much time in here, but today he was especially bored. 'With Machiavellia gone for now, there is practically nothing to hold my interest. I might as well try some of these books. I didn't learn how to read for not,' the man thought as he went to search the dusty volumes.   Next to the bookshelf, crouched on the floor, Raquel was holding one of Itiel's books in his hands, running his fingers over the smooth leather cover. A puzzled expression was on his face as he turned it over, trailing his hand over the back of the book.   Itiel didn't even notice the boy until he could hear the soft sound of breathing a few feet away from him at the end of the bookshelf. Curious, Itiel went over to Raquel and looked down, asking him, "What are you doing?"   "Caroline showed me into this room because I wanted to read some of your old books," the boy explained. "But... these aren't any of the ones I remember. They don't feel the same. I've been looking for a familiar one, but there aren't any."   "Well that is to be expected," said Itiel, still slightly miffed that Raquel thought him to be someone he wasn't, but not as much. "I thought you said all of your old Master's books had been left behind at his house. That is probably where they all are."   "I know, but I had hoped that you might have taken a few with you when you left. I guess that didn't happen," he replied, looking rather glum.   "Of course not," Itiel half-snapped. "I can't believe you still think I am this Master of yours. Haven't I made it obvious enough that you have the wrong person?"   Raquel smiled ever so slightly. "I don't think I do. I'm going to keep believing you're my master, unless I somehow find proof that you aren't." He fell silent, thinking, 'Which I hope I never do.'   Itiel shook his head slightly in partial disbelief. "I don't believe I have ever met someone so stubbornly loyal before."   "I promised to be loyal to you from the day we met," Raquel said. "It's the least I can do now for the one who took such good care of me over the years."   Despite himself, Itiel was curious. "What exactly was it about this Master of yours that makes you so loyal to him? What kind of care did he give you that was so good?"   "You..." He paused, considering what Itiel had been saying before. "I mean, my master took my brother and me in when my mother could no longer take care of us. He treated us so well... we were his his sons, almost."   "Hm..." Itiel listened intently, strangely interested. "You say you have a brother? Where is he, then?"   'You don't remember that, either?' Raquel thought, growing crestfallen. "My brother Mira... he died. Years ago."   "Oh. I see," said Itiel, wondering if he shouldn't have asked. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought. "What other sorts of things did your master do for you? You mentioned he read to you, and you obviouslaredared a bed. What else?"   "He made colognes sometimes," Raquel said. "He made some for himself at first, and then some for me to help me sleep when I started to have nightmares..." He reached into one deep pocket of his cloak, pulling out a small pottery jar adorned with a thin bracelet. "I kept some of his special scent after he left."   Itiel reached out taking the lid off the jar. "May I have a whiff?"   "I don't mind... just don't let the bracelet fall off," the boy said. "It was Mira's... I try to take good care of it."   "All right," said Itiel, sniffing the cologne inside the jar. "Interesting scent. It's not the best I've ever smelled, but I wouldn't mind seeing if I can have some of this made for myself."   "My master never gave the ingredients out to anyone... he just told them what the smell was. It was his personal favorite, cinnamon and cloves." Raquel breathed in the spicy scent, sighing. "It's funny... he wouldn't even make some of that kind for me. When I asked, he made up a new smell just for me."   Itiel put the lid back on the jar, being careful of the bracelet there. "A shame, I would have liked to know how this scent is created. It really is a nice odor."   "It was always my way of knowing where he was in the house. Just the scent meant that he was nearby." Raquel set the book down next to him, finding it increasingly harder to talk about his master without saying "you" to Itiel. "Whenever he read to me, I could just lean against him and have that odor wash over me..." He put his hands in his lap. "It was comforting, in a way."   Itiel was silent for a few moments, letting Raquel's words sink into his head. The story seemed to repeat itself over and over as his gaze stayed on Raquel. After a little while, he spoke again, though hesitantly. "...Would you like me to read you something?" "Oh! Yes, I'd love that," Raquel replied, feeling for the book beside him. "Can we read this one? I don't know what story it is, but anything that I haven't heard before is fine!"   "All right, I suppose," Itiel replied, taking the book in his hands. He read the titled aloud, "'Grecian Mythology.' Looks to be a collection of legends from the ancient civilization of Greece."   "Oh, that sounds wonderful..." Raquel smiled up at Itiel. "Tell me one that has... something beautiful in it. Anything. Just something that I could see in my head..."   Itiel took Raquel's hand and led him over to a large couch, his mind screaming at him as they sat down. 'What am I doing? If I indulge him in his little delusion, he'll just believe in it that much more strongly! And yet...' Itiel looked at the boy for a moment as he opened the book, flipping to the table of contents. 'He just seems the type that needs to be read to.' It didn't take long to find a suitable myth, and Itiel started with the story of Eros and Psyche, and their rather strange love affair.   Raquel settled next to Itiel, one hand on the book's cover, head bent over the pages as if he was actually reading. "This sounds like a good story."   "It seems that way," said Itiel, not being able to help but agree with the boy. He was actually finding himself becoming absorbed in the story, telling Raquel of how Eros was told by his mother, Aphrodite, to shoot Psyche with one of his arrows, but found that he was entranced by her beauty instead. Later, Psyche found herself in a darkened palace, a shadowy figure that she could not see telling her kind words and taking care of her. She was beginning to fall in love with the man, although she could not see him.   "That's so sad," Raquel murmured as Itiel read. "Psyche couldn't see the person she was growing to love... Not even a little bit of him." He sighed. "And she wasn't blind... but she still couldn't see who she wanted to see." Itiel continued to read after a moment's silence. "He promised Psyche that anything she wanted he would give her, but warned that she must never try to see his face. If she should ever look upon his face, they would be torn apart, and she would live forever in loneliness and sorrow."   "Oh, but that's horrible! She must have been so caring, to love a man that she couldn't even look at." Raquel curled a little closer to Itiel, seeming not to notice. "I hope she doesn't end up unhappy at the end of the story!"   "I'm not sure. I haven't read this particular story before, but some Greek myths have rather... unpleasant endings. Let's just hope that this is one of the ones with a good ending, all right?" said Itiel, finding himself smiling at the boy.   "Okay! I want Psyche to end up living happily ever after," Raquel replied, smiling. "I'll just keep hoping that it will end up that way."   Itiel continued reading to Raquel through the entire afternoon, the story furthering itself in increasingly interesting ways. Psyche began to miss he sisters from back home, and eventually convinced her unseen husband-to-be to let them visit. However, after her sisters learned that Psyche hadn't seen her love, they immediately became suspiciuos. They told her to take an oil lamp and a dagger to his room, and if she saw that he was some horrible monster who wanted to kill her eventually, she could kill him with the dagger. She did this, and found that the one she loved was none other than the god of love, Eros. Eros was disappointed in her, saying that she didn't trust him. Soon though, Aphrodite found out Eros had betrayed her, and the goddess set a series of outrageous tasks for Psyche to complete. It seemed impossible, but somewhere inside, Eros still loved the girl, and secretly helped her to finish the tasks. Finally, the king he ghe gods, Zeus, was fed up with Aphrodite's punishment of the girl. He allowed the girl to drink of a special ambrosia that let her become immortal, and thus let her live with her beloved Eros. Raquel closed his eyes, tilting his head. "I can imagine it all... the way Psyche must have smiled, and the way her eyes must have lit up when she knew that she would live forever with her lover... she did have a happy ending, after all." He added thoughtfully, "They don't say much about Eros, do they? I mean, what he must have felt. He could talk to Psyche, but never reveal himself to her. How could he stand to do something like that, even for a little while? If it were me, I'd want to show myself and yell out, 'I love you'!" He laughed softly. "But... I'm not the one who tells these stories. I don't determine how they should go."   "I suppose he must have had a great deal of patience, and was smart enough to know that Psyche would be in big trouble if she knew she had fallen in love with the god of love himself," said Itiel, closing the book. "Though things turned out all right in the end, despite all that happened. That's the important thing, right?"   "Right. It's just... I guess I wish that they didn't have to go through all of that trouble. That they could have been together from the start." Raquel slid off the couch. "Thank you for reading to me, but I suppose I should be going to the servant's quarters now, if you have nothing you need me to do. I don't want to use up any more of your time."   "Yes, I suppose you should..." Itiel seemed hesitant in his words, though he didn't make a move to stop Raquel from leaving, either.   "I'll talk to Caroline about helping me with the tea for when Mistress Machiavellia returns," Raquel added, heading for the door. "I think she might like it if I add a little more cinnamon, but I want to get Caroline's opinion."   "If you want a hint, he's not the biggest supporter of sweet things. Less cinnamon might be something to try," said Itiel, watching as Raquel walked toward the door.   "All right, I'll remember that," the boy replied, heading out the door and into the hall, one hand against the wall to help guide him as he walked back towards the servant's quarters.   Stretching, Itiel leaned back against the couch, the book falling out of his lap and onto the cushions next to him. "A rather interesting little story, I must admit," he said to himself, "But completely unrealistic. Nothing like that could ever really happen..."   ******   "Caroline!" Raquel called as he made his way slowly into the quarters. "Are you here? I need to ask you about Mistress Machiavellia, and how she likes her tea... Caroline?"   Smiling, Caroline poked her head around a corner and said, "Oh, Raquel, there you are! Where have you been all afternoon?"   "Master Itiel was reading to me," he answered with a smile. "But we're done now, and I told him I'd try to improve the recipe for the tea I made before. She didn't seem to like it... and I really want to make her happy. Do you know what she likes?"   "He was reading to you?" she said, surprised. "Hm, Master Itiel's never done anything like that for any of the sets bts before..." She shrugged, letting the topic pass. "Anyway, it probably doesn't matter what you give her, she is never satisfied. She seems like the most finicky person on the face of the Earth."   "Well... I'll try, even if I can't please her. She always seems happy with Master Itiel, though, so even if the tea isn't to her liking, she'll still be enjoying herself." He brushed past Caroline, heading for one of the beds and lying down on it. "Mm... she seems to be such good friends with the master. She's always hanging ad hid him."   Caroline was humming herself a lullaby as she slipped under the covers of a bed on the other side of the room, not hearing Raquel's last few sentences. "Sweet dreams, Raquel," she said with a yawn.   "Good night," he said softly, not sleepy at all. His curiosity about Machiavellia was still peaked, thoughts running through his head. He also knew very well that if he tried to fall asleep, closed his eyes for even a moment, the dreams would start. The horrible dreams that plagued him still, and had every night since his master had left. He would close his eyes and see his brother, dead but alive, reaching for him in the darkness. It wasn't Mira himself that terrified Raquel; it was waking up to find that he wasn't really there after all, had never been there.   Raquel finally drifted off, unable to hold out any longer. It was the same nightmare as always. He could hear his brother's cries, and he reached out to him in the dark, trying to grab his hands and pull him from the void. Every time he tried to take his hand, Mira's fingers slipped from his grasp, and he was eventually swallowed by the blackness, his screams instantly silenced.   "No, don't leave me! Please don't leave me--" Raquel's eyes snapped open, tears trickling down his cheeks. He lay in a heap on the bed, perfectly still except for the occasional twitch of his fingers. "...Mira," he whispered, his mouth agape.   ****** &nbMeanMeanwhile, Itiel had since gone back to his chambers to sleep. He too was having a rather strange dream. Everything around him was pitch black, nothing visible at all. Itiel thought it ironic that he should be blind in a dream like Raquel was all the time. However, he could feel something, a pair of lips touching his own in the dark. Without thinking, he gave into those lips, letting all of himself flow in the kiss. Though he couldn't see the person he was kissing, he did know one thing: this was not Machiavellia he was kissing. Suddenly, Itiel screamed into the mystery person's mouth as a burning heat rose up around his body that he also couldn't see. He could feel his body burning, as if he had been thrown into a bonfire. However, no matter how hard he tried, he could not pry himself away from his shadowed lover's lips. No matter how much he wanted to get away from the person and escape the terrible heat. And so he continued to scream, his body burning away like firewood until his eyes shot open, and he sat bolt upright in bed. Itiel breathed hard, the memory of the nightmare still fresh in his mind. 'What was that?'   For a while Itiel just sat there, staring at a tapestry on the wall while the feelings from his dream passed though his mind. 'I don't want to go back to sleep. Not when it will hurt so much again...'   ******   After a few minutes, Raquel pushed himself upright and out of bed, stumbling across the floor and out of the chamber. 'I can't stay in there. I don't care what anyone's going to say.' He made his way down the hall, using his touch to guide himself along the hall to the one area he had memorized. He pressed against the door to Itiel's chamber, surprised when it opened for him.   Itiel started slightly, the door creaking open and catching him off guard. In the darkness of night, he could make out the short form at the door, and recognized the head of blond hair instantly. "Raquel... What are you doing here? Should you be sleeping in the servant's quarters?"   "I was," the boy said shakily. "But I had the nightmare again... I had another dream about Mira. I was too afraid to stay down there."   "Oh," Itiel said quietly, looking down at the sheets for a moment. "And I suppose you wanted to come and sleep in my bed..."   "I'm sorry," Raquel whispered, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand "It's just... I don't know any other way to make them stop. Whenever I sleep somewhere else, I dream about him disappearing into the dark, and I can't save him. I don't want to go through that again tonight..."   For a moment, Itiel seriously considered sending Raquel back just so that he could continue to contemplate the meaning of his own nightmare in peace. However, the moment passed, and Itiel answered, "…All right. But be gone before I wake up in the morning."   "I'll wake up early," Raquel promised, climbing into bed beside Itiel. He could feel the man's body against him, unusually tense and stiff. He touched his shoulder, concerned. "...Is something wrong?"   "Er, it's nothing," said Itiel, pulling the covers up to his neck. "There's nothing wrong."   "Nothing at all?" the boy asked, removing his hand. He settled next to Itiel, still wondering if something was going on, but deciding not to bother him about it. He closed his eyes, feeling more comfortable about falling asleep than he had in the servant's quarters. 'No more dreams...' he told himself mentally.   For a long time, Itiel lay awake, still afraid of falling asleep again. However, a combination of sleepiness and warmth from Raquel's body soon overtook him, and began to force him closer and closer to sleep. 'No, I don't want to fall... asleep...' With that thought, Itiel drifted off into slumber. Surprisingly, though, he found that when the dream of kissing the unseen person began again, there was no heat, no pain. Only the overpowering emotions that accompanied passionate kisses.   'This feels nice,' thought Itiel, though he wished he could see who was kissing him so lovingly. 'I guess I should enjoy this while it lasts. Not even Machiavellia can kiss with this kind of caring, and I doubt I'll find someone to care so much about me in real life...'   Raquel also found that he was dreaming again, although he had wished against it. However, this dream was distinctly different. He was standing with Mira in the dark, hurled into endless blackness. His brother turned to him, his dark eyes shining even in the dark. "I've been meaning to ask you, Raquel... have you seen him yet?" Raquel was confused. "What do you mean? You know I can't..." Mira cut him off, setting a hand on his shoulder. "Not that way. The... other way. You know, have you found out what he's really like?"   "You mean Master Itiel? How could I not know? I've known him since I was a child," Raquel replied. Mira shook his head, smiling. He stepped back into the darkness, a little hopping movement that made it look as though he were skipping across rocks in a river. "Maybe. You have to depend on what your head tells you, what you know to be true, and not what you remember. Memory taints your thinking. You have to try to see in the dark, and look at what's really there. Like Psyche, right?" Mira looked lovingly at his brother.   "What you think may not always be true," Mira continued in Raquel's dream. He reached out to take the blind boy's hand. He pulled Raquel closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "I want you to try to find your own answers, figure out your own emotions. But at the same time, I don't want you to."   "Why not?" Raquel asked his brother, looking up at him with filmy eyes. Mira knelt next to him, whispering in his ear. "Because then you'll discover what it is that holds you to him. And it will mean the end of everything." Raquel's eyes widened, and he reached out to touch his brother, to question his words. However, he was no longer there. Raquel found himself alone in the darkness.   ******   When Raquel awoke, it was early morning, and the sky was still dark. Remembering his promise to Itiel, he decided that it would be best to return to the servant's quarters before his master could awaken. As he made his way out and along the hall, the dream ran through his head, Mira's words striking a chord somewhere inside. 'What did he mean, I can't depend on my memories?'   The feeling of warmth leaving his side awakened Itiel, though he did not show it. He listened as Raquel quietly exited the room, keeping his eyes closed in the hope that his good dream would come back. However, sleep did not seem to want to come for him, and all he could do was lie there.   Raquel reached his bed in the chamber, sitting on the edge of it to think. 'He's not what I think he is, is that what Mira meant? But how could that be? Everything about him is almost the same.' He paused in thought. 'Except... Machiavellia.' He looked about him, searching for Caroline. 'I really should ask her about it. If I find out what's going on between Master Itiel and her, then...'   Caroline yawned in her sleep, blinking her eyes open when she heard the sound of footsteps entering the room. "Raquel, is that you?" she asked groggily. "What are you doing up at this early hour?"   "I was thinking," he explained. "Caroline, please tell me about Mistress Machiavellia. How long has the master known her? Have they been friends for a long time?"   Rubbing her eyes as she sat up in bed, Caroline asked with a little surprise, "Friends? What ever gave you the idea that that's what they were?"   "Well, they always talk, and they seem to get along," Raquel said, feeling his heart sink at the tone of her voice. "Isn't that what friends do?"   Caroline chuckled, smoothing out her tan hair so that it didn't look like a rat's nest from her sleeping on it. "You obviously haven't caught them during one of their 'moments,'" she said.   "'Moments'?" Raquel swallowed, head down. "What do you mean by that?"   However, Caroline did not appear to be listening anymore, ranting off into her own little world. "They are so noisy sometimes, though. I'm glad she stayed in the town last night rather than with Master Itiel, or I wouldn't be able to get a wink from the racket coming from upstairs! I swear, if she weren't his whore, I'd dump a gallon of hot tea down the front of that ugly dress of hers!"   Raquel immediately bolted from the bed, standing on shaky legs. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides. 'My master promised never to sink that low,' he thought, biting his lip. 'This... must be one of the truths Mira was talking about. So... what Itiel told me wasn't a lie...' "Are... are you telling the truth?" he asked quietly.   "Huh? Well of course, what reason would I have to lie? I can only vent myself to other servants, or I'll get thrown out," said Caroline, looking at Raquel with concern. "Why, does the fact that it's the truth bother you?"   "I..." Raquel turned away, shaking his head. "It's a surprise, that's all. I need to... think about it," he muttered, taking his things from the bedside table and quickly leaving the chamber so Caroline wouldn't see the tears welling in his eyes. He continued down the hall towards the manor entrance, pulling his hood over his head as he went. He reached into his pocket, touching the jar of cologne. "I have no right to stay here anymore. He's not the right one. I should have known..."   Raquel threw open the manor doors, stepping out into a light rain. He turned to look back at the massive structure for a moment, thinking about the books he was leaving behind, and more importantly, the people. "Itiel isn't my master. That means... I don't have anyone. I'm going to be all alone again..." He looked away, hanging his head as he began the long, muddy walk to the town marketplace. "I don't know what I thought I felt for him. But, whatever it was... it was pointless."   ******   Meanwhile, alone in his room, Itiel sighed, an arm over the spot on the bed where Raquel had been not so long ago. 'Why is he doing this to me? Why does he make me feel... different than I normally do? And why does he of all people chase my nightmares away…'