To Become

10:51pm - Recorded

Today was a terrible day! I say that lightly because it was actually kind of interesting. It's kind of a bad type of interesting, but I blame Ryan for that. All he kept saying was, "Kylienna, you're doing it wrong!" What do you expect? You never taught me how to do this before! "Don't yell at me!" Then don't yell at me! Then Sara said in her so quiet voice, "Will you two shut up?" Ryan and I just looked at her kind of surprised at what she said. The funny thing was that Ryan and I at the same time replied, "Whatever."

I'm so sorry journal! I'm telling you all of this unimportant stuff when I haven't even told you what was going on first! Well last night when we got done playing Pictionary, Ryan said to Sara and me, "I think I'm going to have you two do something together tomorrow." Sara and I looked at each other. Like what? "Just an experiment. You'll experiment together. You're both at the age now to start this." Start what? "Tomorrow."

Later this evening around 7, Ryan pulled us out and told Brad that we were done for the night. He said alright. Ryan took us into the back room, the one we always play games in on Sunday evenings. When we were in, Ryan took his keys out and locked the door. "Undress." Sara tensed immediately. When the door is locked, nothing good is about to happen. It's to keep us from running out even though we know they could easily just pick us up and bring us back in. I guess it saves them the trouble. Sara just stood there, and just stared at Ryan. Why? "Don't start asking questions Kylienna. Just do as you were told." No. Not until you tell me why. Ryan walked up in front of me. "Don't start this again." Then I felt Sara tug on my sleeve. I looked at her and sighed. We undressed.

He picked up our clothes and put them in the corner of the room then told us to lay on the floor on our backs. I rolled my eyes, but Sara and I both did what he said. Next thing I know, he brings out a video camera! I sat up. What is that for? "It's a camera so obviously it's here to record something and that something happens to be you two. Now lay back down." I glared at him but did. I looked over at Sara. Her eyes were squeezed shut. She had told me once that she didn't like not having clothes on in front of Ryan. I asked her why and she said that it was because it scared her. He was always there. The other men weren't. I used to embarrassed, too, at first.

Ryan brought a chair and placed it in front of us and sat down. I turned my head. "Open your eyes Sara." She opened them slowly. "Kylie I'll have you start." Start what? "I want you to play with her." You mean like Mary Mack? I started doing the motions with my hands. "No, Kylienna and stop that." Of course I knew what he was meaning for me to do. I wasn't that stupid. I just wanted to hold it off for a while and maybe he wouldn't make us. I was just lying to myself though. I was worried about Sara. She was shaking. Not only was she scared, but this room is the only room down the hall that has no carpeting. We were laying on straight concrete.

I sighed. You're such a bastard Ryan. He just shook his head as I sat up and got on my knees and leaned over Sara. She closed her eyes again. I leaned down to her and whispered in her ear that everything would be fine, to just trust me. Her breathing slowed a little then. I was glad. I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing, but I knew what he wanted me to do. I took my fingers and placed them down on her and began to rub like Ryan had taught me to do to myself. He had already set the camera on record. I did just that for a few minutes. Sara was crying. "Use your tongue." I was really pissed off at that, but decided not to say anything and just do it. So I went "down" on her as Ryan had called it once when he did that to me. I did the best I could but I heard Ryan shift and get down on his knees on the side of me. "You're doing it wrong." Would you shut up? I'm doing it aren't I? "Watch your mouth. This has to be done right." Next thing, he's pushing my head down in between her legs. "Suck on the clitoris." I was really starting to feel sick. It wasn't because she was disgusting or anything, it was what he was making us do that was disgusting. I felt terrible about it. And Ryan was still recording every single thing.

I knew he was wanting me to bring her "over the edge" like Jack says, so I was trying to the best I could just to get it over with for her. "Now take two fingers and insert them inside." Sara and I were both in very uncomfortable positions, but I continued doing what Ryan told me to. His unspoken threat was that if I didn't cooperate, Sara would be the one to get hurt. He knew I wouldn't do anything to harm her, not intentionally anyway. This went on for a little while until Ryan moved my hand out of the way and pushed my head down farther. "Use your tongue again and put pressure on the clitoris with your nose." I was really starting to feel sick by now, and I knew I still wasn't doing it right because he was still scolding me. "Use your entire face Kylienna." How I wished he would just shut up. I was also praying that Sara would just reach that point very soon. I had to close my eyes because along with my saliva on her, her body had started lubricating and my eyes were getting sticky. Soon enough I could feel her muscles tensing up really bad, so I rubbed one of my fingers of my left hand down her thigh and that pushed her the rest of the way.

I raised up and was about to wipe my mouth when Ryan stopped me. I rolled my eyes and leant up and over Sara to kiss her. She, thankfully, understood and kissed back. Suddenly though I was pushed down right on top of Sara and felt some sitting on me. Ryan get off! He just laughed. "But you two are cute like that." Not when we can't breathe! Get off! I tried pushing him, but that was pretty much impossible. "Show me some tonuge action. That's adorable." I literally growled at him wrinking my nose in the process, and Sara just had a blank stare in her eyes, but we did what he wanted, and he finally got off, still with that stupid camera facing us.

"That could have gone so much better. You'll really have to work on that Kylienna." You're lucky that I haven't slapped you yet! "Of course you remember what happened last time you did that." You find this all fucking hilarious don't you! "Actually I do. I mean when you get angry, your face gets this lovely red tint to it." I'm going to fucking kill you, you son of a bitch! I guess I was screaming louder than I thought because there was a knock on the door. "Everything okay in there," Greg said as his voice came through the door. "Just fine," was what Ryan replied. Sara had sat up and curled into herself. I went over to her and held her.

"Alright girls, on a more serious note, that wasn't too bad, but Kylie, you have to get more into it. I know you both didn't like what I just had you do, but get used to it because I'm going to have you practicing on each other for a while until you can do it perfectly. The video will only be seen by us so I can point out to you exactly what you did wrong so you can fix it. No one else will see it, not even Brad, Jason or Greg. And that is a total lie." He winked at me. I had to smile. I understood perfectly. I told him that he was always lying to me. In other words, if he's lying about this being a total lie, then he was serious about what he said. I explained it to Sara later on.

We've been back in the cell now for a while. Ryan said that we would watch the tape together tomorrow. I'm not to keen on the fact of watching myself do what I did. Sara went almost straight to sleep after Ryan released us. She's still sleeping and I'm hoping she will all night.

Ryan is coming over to talk with me. Night journal.

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A/N:
Thanks again for the wonderful reviews! *luff nila* lol Don't forget to check out A Lost Life if you have not done so yet. I'm working on chapter 5 now and will have that posted most likely by the end of this week.