Nymphaea

Chapter 25: Through green eyes

(A few years ago)

He sensed him coming nearer. Had felt his presence in this part of the country on and off for the last one and a half decades. But now he was approaching this house.

Pheus lit a cigarette, standing at the open window, looking towards the sea with narrowed eyes. He took a deep drag. No, no more emotions in Ayve than at previous meetings. A deep sigh. He flipped the ashes away.

So, what was this about? This was the first time that Ayve took the first step. Pheus certainly had learned that he needn’t bother. Had tried several times throughout the centuries and had only met coldness. Sometimes confusion. But never the heat he had once known. There had been erected an icy wall between them. At their last meeting they’d at least managed to sit down together for a neat cup of coffee.

Neat indeed. Ayve had hardly been able to meet his eyes. A hint of a strange mixture of longing, guilt and repulsion in him. An echo of the chaos that would break loose if Ayve dared to let his feelings run free. Not that that was likely to ever happen.

Another deep drag on the fag. What he wouldn’t give to experience Ayve’s passionate side once more… Not that Ayve had let his temper reign him at any time in his life. He’d early on swallowed the lesson not to live out his feelings, not to follow his basic instincts. But they’d shared the experience of what it was like when Ayve let go. Pheus had shown him that there was more to life than fulfilling duties. He absent-mindedly licked his lips, the faint taste of Ayve’s silken skin on them. He drew in breath sharply. Whatever the purpose of Ayve’s visit, he’d definitely not get that today. Reign in your desire or Ayve’ll turn around before he ever reaches your doorstep. He put the cigarette out and enjoyed the fresh breeze that helped cool down his thoughts.

How often had he tried to get through to him: by sweet-talking in the beginning, trying to help him, to be understanding. Then his temper had killed every hope of getting close to Ayve again. Any attempt to make an advance since had been fruitless. And there had been quite a few.

It was so pitiful that he actually bathed in bliss whenever they merely sat together in silence or exchanged a few polite words. Merely standing in front of Ayve, having his attention, breathing in his sent and taking in his proud and gracious appearance, his…

Pheus closed his eyes, supporting himself on the window frame. To think of it alone was enough to speed up his pulse. He’d succumbed so many times to the temptation of following Ayve, watching him from afar. Ayve had never told him to stop. From what Pheus could tell (and he did not hesitate to use his abilities to read minds and feel another person’s emotions), Ayve actually found the thought comforting that Pheus still cared for him, practically watched over him.

At times it had grown into something like silent companionship. Few exchanges of words, no touches, most of the times not even an open acknowledgement of the other’s presence but still a certainty not to be alone.

And then there’d come the inevitable moment when Pheus wouldn’t bear being so close and yet so far away. When he had wanted to seize Ayve and pull him close, make him his. That had usually been the moment when he’d withdrawn. Once or twice he hadn’t managed to hold back. But Ayve had panicked. He couldn’t even cope with a simple embrace, no matter how sincerely Pheus swore it was not meant in any sexual way.

At first Pheus had not even been allowed to touch Ayve with his hand. Over the decades Ayve had grown strong (or cold) enough to tolerate that. A touch on his arm or his shoulder was okay. A touch on his knee or his back usually gained Pheus an estimating glance. Perhaps a shiver (not of delight) if it came surprisingly. A touch in certain private areas or too much physical contact at once, let alone a kiss, was unthinkable. The idea alone filled Ayve with revulsion and sickness mingled with sadness over the loss of what they’d once shared.

If Pheus was desperate enough to still seek this kind of contact, Ayve would jump back or push him away. That was the point when Pheus would fill up with rage and the blind longing for revenge. The moment when he’d notice Ayve’s delicate, skinny features, his frailty, the scars in his face and on his hands, his inability to voice his pain, the rattling in his breathing when it was wet and cold outside that whispered a story about the abused state of this man’s body.

Ayve’s eyes always shone as if they’d issue rivers of tears any moment but there never was a single drop.

It was the moment when Pheus would turn his back on Ayve, unable to look at this any longer, eager to find those who’d done this to him. He doubted there were any left by now. He’d invested a lot of energy in tracking them down.

It had taken Pheus ages to grudgingly accept that Ayve shared his bed with humans. In the first centuries after the incident, Ayve had seemed to have lost any sense for physical needs. But with time Pheus had observed changes in him. He had stopped avoiding crowds. Anonymous touches did not seem to bother him as much as before. Then he had sought direct contact: short small-talk, little flirtations in the beginning, then step by step a little more. Not on a regular basis, this more, but it occurred.

The only thing that kept Pheus from doing something stupid was that Ayve acted towards those people even colder than he did towards him: he manipulated them. Not in a way of bending their will – the first contact was established without mental influencing – but in a matter of determining the path they tread on. Ayve always had full control. And he kept everything short and distant. A handful of meetings a year and never more than three years all in all. As soon as the human showed signs of not yielding to Ayve’s soft steering, Ayve backed out, never to be seen by that person again.

Pheus was always able to find Ayve if he really tried. And Ayve could have prevented that if he wanted. So Pheus put a lot of effort into convincing himself that he was privileged. And although he faltered at times, deep down inside he knew that he was: there was a mutual trust between them (as long as he kept distance) that Ayve shared with no one else.

Trust? –That helps!, a cynical voice in Pheus would reply to that thought in regular intervals. He so wanted Ayve… He was not the man to wait patiently a few dozen centuries to see whether Ayve might overcome his disposition. Yet here he was, fifteen hundred years from that dreadful day when he’d thought he’d lost Ayve forever, when he’d thought Ayve had died, only to find him there… That sight… That smell… Pheus could wait another fifteen hundred years if necessary. He had no idea where he’d find the patience to do so but he’d do what it took to gain Ayve back… As long as Ayve didn’t turn to somebody else he’d be a saint.

Light footsteps sounded in front of the door, then a soft knock. He crossed the nearly empty room (the way humans cluttered up their housings with meaningless litter repelled him). It had been over thirty years since they’d last met. Pheus called himself a fool, realising that his heart beat faster.

He opened the door.

There Ayve stood: in some aspects an image of himself - same height, similar parental background, similar hair only longer, alike in his affinity to soleness, in his distrust, in his cynicism, in his strength and in his longing for something else in life. And yet unique in his sensitivity, his isolation, his self-control (or more likely self-denial) and his beauty. Unique to Pheus because of their mutual background, their mutual past. Unique because Pheus knew him inside out. And Ayve was the only person who had ever cared to get to know him in such manner in return.

Ayve displayed a soft, perhaps half-hearted smile and followed the silent invitation of Pheus’ hand to enter the house.

“Coffee?” Pheus usually did not bother with politeness but he knew it made Ayve feel more comfortable.

Ayve nodded.

Pheus walked over to the kitchen area of the big room and prepared two cups.

“What leads you here?” he asked without much ado.

Ayve took a seat. He was rather formally dressed, his hair strictly tied back.

My people have decided to seek official political contact with the humans in the nearer future. I thought you might be interested in joining us since socially your people are already linked with them.

Ayve never bothered to pretend to speak aloud with Pheus. After all he was the only person who knew how severely Ayve had been harmed. He had been the one to find Ayve, to carry him to a warm place, to wash out Ayve’s wounds and use what bit of knowledge he had gained from Ayve of healing over the years to attend to them with herbs and bandages. He had been the one to listen to Ayve’s ragged breathing, to force food and drink down his bruised, barely healed throat, to look into those empty, non-responding eyes. It had been hard to see Ayve cringe at every touch.

At the beginning Pheus had feared that Ayve had lost it. That all he did was keeping an empty body alive. Stuck without any contact to his people since Ayve was not ready for such a journey and he couldn’t leave him alone. It was a relief when Ayve reluctantly started to move on his own accord after several weeks. The flashes of memories that came back to his mind and that Pheus saw in it then were… less pleasant, though.

But Ayve had finally made it, had even found the strength to start travelling about, looking for his people, and telling them to seek refuge in their sister-tribe. And now he sat in front of Pheus and in all sincerity spoke of peaceful contact with these...

“Since when are you fool enough to believe they’d be interested in a peaceful partnership?”

Ayve smirked at that reply. Of course I am not. But I’m not a dictator. I’ve put that step off for a long time by expressing my doubts but in honesty: hiding is getting more and more difficult. Perhaps an open, well directed approach is better than being overpowered without forewarning. This way we have at least some chance of maintaining a certain amount of control. I don’t say I really think it will lead to anything that would satisfy our claims of equal rights but I fear nearly anything is better than what we are facing if we keep on going like we are now.

Pheus crossed his arms, contemplating. “It’s still very risky. Why not ask us for help?”

And what help could you give? With that washout of a leader your people are hardly better off than mine. The people who are not living amongst humans, benefiting from their wealth, have less than my tribe. And I don’t suppose you have an area of several hundred acres of fertile, uninhabited land to give to us?

Pheus smirked in silent defeat. “Fool and coward that he is, I doubt your genitor will move a finger,” he answered the original question.

They sat for a while just staring at the sea. It was a windy day.

Finally Ayve ‘spoke’ again. Perhaps it is time to end his regency. He was never meant for it. And the reason for that was always plain to see. Perhaps it’s time for you to take what would rightfully have been yours if your father had cared to die a few decades later.

Pheus threw a side glance at his visitor. This was a new side to him. Ayve the conspirator. Interesting indeed.

“Even if we could ‘convince’ him somehow to step down, I would not automatically be the one to follow him. Orth would not be the problem, but what about one of your brothers? And the most likely person – regarding power and the fact that he’ll want to see one of his sons as his successor – would still be you. Even if he doesn’t care for you personally this would be the choice that would earn him the most support. After all you were close to gaining that position once already…” If it hadn’t been for that incident.

In both civilizations, that of the nymphs and that of Pheus’ people, a ruler was not chosen by birth but designated by his predecessor. Pheus had been chosen by his father to follow in his sovereignty. Only that Pheus’ father had died when Pheus had still been too young to take up the position as leader of his people. For such a case his father had designated Ayve as his successor. That was why Pheus had been looking for Ayve, finding him in such a state… Only because their absence wore on (Ayve’s physical and mental state allowed no travelling) it was decided that the third in line would take up the task.

“Or more truthful: it was yours,” Pheus emphasized once more that Ayve would be the most likely replacement.

I never wanted it. I’ll give up my current leadership as soon as I find an adequate successor. My sister will give birth to a child very soon. As far as I can tell it will be female but I don’t care.

In the current state of their population count it was not sensible to keep a woman from carrying children by appointing her the leader of the tribe.

If she is fit for the task I’ll give it to her. Though that is still a long time ahead…

Pheus knew that this implied a silent hint that usually at this point in his life Ayve would already have a nearly grown up child of his own and start thinking about his sunset years. The grey streaks in his hair seemed to evidence his age, too, although Pheus knew that they were just residues from the bad shape Ayve’s body had once been in.

“He’s capable of designating you because of that – because he knows how little this appeals to you. As payback for being highly regarded by my father when he was not considered a worthy son,” Pheus pointed out.

Ayve nodded in silence, playing absent-mindedly with the coffee in his mouth. The light from outside was reflected in his eyes. What about a bargain? What about offering him something for that favour?

Pheus raised an eyebrow in scepticism. “What do we have to offer that he would want?”

Ayve smirked cynically. Genes.

Pheus’ second eyebrow joined it’s neighbour. “Pardon?”

Wouldn’t it be a noble, selfless service to our kind if he would only agree to you as successor if the continuance of our line would be ensured? In all its strength? If he brought about that your father’s efforts to regain the old powers were continued and not in vain as they seem to have been so far? If we can get Ley on our side, she could plant that idea in his mind…

“Am I getting this right: you want to ask him to designate me as his successor and offer him a favour in return. Then Ley would advise him to demand a child be sired to ensure the survival of our line. He would think it a nice revenge since he knows of our affinity to males and could claim the praise for being so selfless to worry about his family instead of seeking personal gain.”

Ayve nodded.

Pheus snorted. “You only forget one thing: I am as gay as anyone can possibly be. You won’t get me anywhere near a naked woman, not to mention getting me excited enough in the company of a naked woman.”

I did not think you would volunteer. Ayve looked down into his cup.

Pheus eyed him. “You want to do it.” He caught a short glimpse of Ayve’s inside. Disrelish at the thought of procreating like that and yet also a faint delight in the idea of becoming father. Pheus was aware that Ayve had been on the threshold of siring a child back then. He wondered if they’d have had a future together if Ayve’s tribe had not been attacked. But those thoughts led to nothing.

“What if he doesn’t take the bait?”

Ayve threw an amused glance at him. Well, the copy of an amused glance more likely. He’s still weak. Nobody would seriously protest…

*

But such measures had not been necessary. Their meeting had taken place early in September. A month later they had submitted their proposal. It was accepted and later bound to the requirements they had secretly agreed on.

In the middle of November, Pheus tracked Ayve down to discuss further steps. His senses led him to a small but comfortable hotel room in Edinburgh. When Ayve opened the door, his nose was met by the strong, heavy scent of sandalwood. Ayve was dressed in an oversized sweater, obviously chosen for snugness, not fashionability. His hair fell loose over his shoulders. Pheus felt the corners of his mouth move up. If only Ayve would share this with him more often! This informality… it was almost intimate. He looked so eatable.

He entered the room and took a seat after Ayve had cleared the chair of several international newspapers and books. He accepted a glass of water (the effects of alcohol on the mind kept the hunter from consuming it).

“He considers it highly amusing to give me the task of choosing a proper bond-mate for you,” Pheus bluntly stated the facts he had come to discuss.

Ayve took seat opposite him, stirring his tea. Something seemed slightly off with him. More than usually.

“Second thoughts?” Pheus enquired, though that idea did not please him at all. Ayve shook his head in denial.

“Any preferences?”

Ayve put the cup down, crossed his legs and folded his arms in contemplation. Pheus still couldn’t help but feel that Ayve hid something, that he acted colder than earlier that year.

I have problems imagining myself siring the child of someone who has not at least some nymph-blood, Ayve finally admitted.

Pheus nodded in understanding. “So a mixed blooded like us. I doubt this is what he would have picked but it’s his own fault to try and step on my feet by appointing this task to me. There won’t be many to choose from but I see who I can find.”

There were a few dozen (maybe two or three) mixed bloods, children of nymph refugees who had mated with people of his father’s kind in an attempt of fitting into the new society that had granted them protection. Ayve’s tribe had not been the only one to be attacked throughout the centuries and not every tribe had been blessed with such a strong leader who undertook everything in his might to gather its members back together.

But Pheus doubted he’d find many females in the right age not yet bonded and willing to carry a child of a man who (so Pheus assumed) had no intention of playing the faithful bond-mate. Okay, faithfulness was not expressly demanded in a relationship in their societies but Pheus did not even want Ayve to have to pretend to care more than he truly did for that woman. Pheus knew that Ayve’s life was all about pretending, about acting already, he had a strong sense of at least protecting his intimacy.

Oh, how he wanted to just take him into his arms and protect him, rid him of all the responsibilities, all the burdens that rested on Ayve’s shoulders. Ayve was a marionette. Drilled to forget his own needs, to only act in concerns of others. That could not work out. He was only a ghostly image of the man he could be.

Pheus looked at the room. It was obvious that Ayve had spent several days in here already and planned to stay a bit longer, stuffed with books and personal items as it was. “You could stay in my house as well. Granted, I don’t offer room service but my attic is very comfortable and you wouldn’t have to pay and remove your things when you leave for a time…”

Ayve smiled, undoubtedly surmising certain intentions behind the offer.

“You know I can keep my hands off you. I think I’ve proven that lately,” Pheus pointed out.

Ayve still smiled, shaking his head. Even if I thought that possible… You wouldn’t like the scent on me.

Pheus frowned. What was that supposed to… “You are meeting someone again,” he concluded.

Ayve nodded slightly, throwing a quick glance at Pheus before eyeing his cup again.

“Who is it this time?” Pheus had nearly sarcastically asked ‘What is it this time’ but had held back such a retort to keep Ayve talking.

His host shrugged. A young man who seems to have grown quite fond of me although I didn’t encourage him. I’ll see where it leads.

Now Pheus’ attention was caught. Ayve would see where it led? That did not bode well. Ayve never let things of that nature run their own course!

“That’s not like you. What’s up?” he asked cautiously.

Ayve shrugged again. He drove a hand through his untidy strands. I don’t know. I’m tired of holding back. I fear I might suffocate if I don’t start… don’t start to have a life of my own again. I mean, it’s not that I don’t have time all by myself but it’s wasted time. I don’t use it. I hide from myself. I don’t even truly know who I am. What is me and what is merely an act.

Pheus didn’t know what to think. A part of him was delighted to hear that Ayve was finally willing to face these problems, another one was furious not to be the one Ayve asked for help in this. No, he preferred bedding a human! How was that supposed to help him? Who knew in what ways this sleaze bag was going to exploit Ayve’s weakness? How could Ayve bear that ape’s touch at all? He refrained from commenting on that.

Ayve had spent the better part of November and December with his people in Asia. And the rest with his ‘lover’. Pheus silently watched them walking the streets of Dresden a few days before Christmas. Well, from what he could tell, Ayve still was in control. And the blondie seemed harmless. Not exactly what Ayve usually went for but easy to steer.

When Ayve knocked at his door in the middle of March after breaking up with this guy and said he needed company, Pheus couldn’t help but set up a victorious smile and display his possessiveness. He had come to him after all.

But he ruled his gladness in as soon as he had seated Ayve with a cup of coffee. Ayve obviously had no need for any sort of conversation. He sat in complete silence, keeping his mind determinedly free of any concrete thoughts. Pheus gave him his time, throwing glances at Ayve every now and then as he fixed a strong soup for the two of them.

After a while Ayve got up and walked over to the small shelf that contained several dozen CD’s and LP’s, picked a collection of symphonies, fed it to the player and seated himself again. Pheus had to fight off waves of hope and longing at the sight of Ayve being comfortable in his presence. He’d not seen him that relaxed in what seemed like an eternity.

Perhaps ‘relaxed’ was the wrong word. Something had clearly upset Ayve. Pheus had caught glimpses of what had happened already before Ayve had knocked. But Ayve seemed at ease with the situation. Was he just distracted or had his mind, his subconscious or whatever it was come to stop being alerted in Pheus’ presence? Usually Ayve watched every move of Pheus vigilantly as if Pheus had been the one to hurt him. Ayve spent sweaty nights with one of them but couldn’t bear a tight embrace from the one that had always protected him, that he had always trusted. It was insane. But today seemed different.

Pheus carried two bowls of soup over and handed one to Ayve who awarded him with a soft smile and a fleeting glance of his deep grey eyes. He looked tired.

“What’s up?” Pheus asked concernedly.

Ayve looked down on the floor as if the answer was written there. I don’t know. I just feel like a complete fool. Something is going awfully wrong. The more I try to solve my problems, the more they seem to crush down on me. As if I were walking on a frozen surface to get to the safe shore only to slip over the thin layer of water that my feet melt. I’m not approaching things the right way but I don’t know what the right way would be either. It’s outright dumb to try and rely on a human.

Pheus waited a few moments. “My offer still holds. Move in with me. I can give you a home, a safe place.”

Now Ayve completely dropped his mask. There was a sadness in his eyes that bordered on despair. He shook his head. I cannot Pheus. We both know we’d want more than that. But I cannot give you what you want. And that would kill us both.

Pheus’ heart pounded in his chest. It was not the rejection that had caught him off guard, he had expected that, it was the first part of that sentence. ‘We both know we’d want more’ Ayve had said. So Pheus was right to believe that Ayve still had feelings for him. And he was aware of them.

Pheus couldn’t help the warmth that was flaring from his stomach upwards now. No chance. It took hold of him. All he could do was to politely turn his gaze away from Ayve and cross his legs to cover his very physical reaction between them.

Fortunately Ayve seemed way too much caught up in his own troubles to notice Pheus’ predicament. He put the untouched soup down and got up to stand close to the window, embracing himself. They remained like that, motionless for several long moments.

Finally Pheus put the question forth that had hunted him for ages. “Why me? Why do I of all people evoke such panic in you when other males leave you cold?”

It was the first time that Ayve was in the right state of mind for Pheus to hope he might receive an appropriate answer. Something in him had shifted. So far Ayve had blocked any attempt to talk about this problem. He had always displayed mental strength and reason. But when it came to Pheus, all sense seemed to leave Ayve.

The sky was painted in yellow, with a small streak of orange in it. A few dark clouds reflected the colour on their lighter top. A few light beams fell through them onto the still wind ridden sea.

Ayve had crossed his arms, drawn up his shoulders and dropped his head. His brows were furrowed as if he fought with himself to find the right words. I… I don’t know if I can make it understandable. I have not fully been able to understand it myself. But there are a few possible explanations.

He seemed to falter.

You have been the most important figure in my life, apart from my father. You… you have had such a huge impact on my take on life. I’d say you were dominant. Not in a way of forcing your will on me but perhaps more frighteningly you had such a strong influence on me that I did what you wanted me to do without question, at times. You are the one person I associate with passion, with strong emotions, with uncontrolled sexuality. Everything I keep away from now to remain sane.

I… perhaps it’s some kind of protective mechanism. Somewhere in my subconscious I know I would not be able to reject you. That because of my affection for you I’d not be able to say no consciously. So my subconscious does it instead by making me panic. Pheus snorted. “So what attracted you to me in the first place, now keeps you away from me,” he abstracted Ayve’s explanation. Ayve nodded.

I’m sorry… A wave of guilt, of feeling responsible emanated from Ayve.

Pheus got up and moved closer to him, stopping a metre apart from him, leaning against the window. He reached out and put a strong hand on Ayve’s shoulder. He felt Ayve’s muscles contract, stiffen, but he left his hand where it was.

“You know that it’s not your fault…,” he tried to reason with him. As if reason was any help in this matter.

Ayve tried to throw a quick glance at Pheus but failed to look him in the eyes and turned his head away.

I know. But I can’t help it. I feel guilty for not overcoming my problems. I feel guilty for being so damned whiny and passive. I hate being weak. I want to do something but all my attempts seem to fail.

Pheus let his thumb draw small, hopefully soothing circles on Ayve’s shoulder, longing to embrace him, to hold him but knowing that this would only make matters worse.

*

Pheus found four women who were meeting their general specifications. One of them he ruled out because of her life style. Another one was unwilling to carry a child to term under the given circumstances (without truly bonding with the father).

In the end Ayve was to meet two ladies. One was already an experienced woman. She had lost her first bond-mate and had no wish to bond again but was willing to have a child if that was helping her people. The other one was fairly young still, had only once experienced a futile phase so far.

Eirene was the first Ayve met. She carried a Greek name because her father had lived under humans and had taken in her nymph mother there to live with him. She was a very self-confident, independent woman that knew what she wanted. Her plans for the future so far had not contained becoming a mother. But she would be honoured to fulfil that task, she said. Which was indeed what disturbed Ayve.

Eirene might have had the strength and experience to be a good mother but what she lacked in his eyes was the will to lovingly care for a child. She did not want the child, she wanted the recognition for being the mother of the child of one of the most influential men in their societies. Tribe leader of the nymphs and son of the ruler of her father’s people. Eirene seemed more interested in finally becoming part of those societies after having lived amongst humans for such a long time. Perhaps she had lived amongst them for too long. Ayve couldn’t think of a single nymph that was like her.

He did not like the idea of his child being raised by a woman who had not truly wanted it but merely the benefits that went along with it. Since Ayve was not sure if he’d be the father he wanted to be, he at least wanted to choose his child’s mother as thoroughly as possible. That Eirene lived in the US these days did not make things easier as Ayve preferred Europe, provided his child had to grow up amongst humans which in itself did not appeal to Ayve but seemed unavoidable since all potential females lived that way.

Alannah indeed seemed still quite young. Part of it was her looks that just had something very childish about them. She was an outgrown woman but her features were round, her eyes were big and bright blue and she had a pout. Her curly red hair made her look a little wild, untamed.

But she was a nice and pretty young thing. Humble and open minded. She had not yet fully matured, had yet to bring certain traits of her into the right balance but Ayve still was left with a very positive impression of her. Perhaps it was her shyness, her insecurity towards him that made her so likeable. Who would want to be the mother of the child of a stranger without any concerns, any questions? He did not want an android to raise his child, he wanted a living and breathing and above all feeling mother. Someone warm-hearted. That Alannah lacked experience did not matter that much. He had enough of that.

And Alannah would be open to his suggestions. A woman like Eirene might object if he tried to have a say in the matter of the child’s education. She had been living in a society that left that to females too long. She had been living on her own for far too long. Alannah would be glad to receive support.

Fortunately, she had yet a few years until she would be ready to conceive a child again so there was no need to rush into anything. Ayve would observe her for a while, meet her every now and again to get to know her better and give her the opportunity to get a better impression of him and then the decision would be made.

Pheus was fairly satisfied with Ayve’s choice. The little redhead had been his favourite all the time. But he had feared Ayve might have qualms because of her age. Somewhere in the back of his mind he fantasized about watching the act of the siring. Not that it was very likely that Ayve would permit that. But his dreams were still his after all.

***