Dandruff

“Get your own damn food,” Jacob used one hand to stuff a handful of fries in his mouth, and then the other to cram three nuggets in. Blink and you’d miss it, but it almost looked as though Jacob’s jaw had unhinged for a second…

Pilot was both impressed and disturbed by the grotesque display. “I think I’m beginning to lose my appetite.”

Jacob shrugged. “So, what is it you wanted to tell me about Phoenix?”

“Why don’t we go for a walk? I don’t feel like this place has the best ambience.”
As if to prove Pilot’s point, the light overhead flickered and the worker mopping the floor let out a frightening, rattling cough.

“A walk, huh?” Jacob scratched the back of his neck with an unused, plastic fork. “How do I know this isn’t an excuse to rape me in a dark alley?”

“I’m not sure it’s possible to rape you,” Pilot retorted, not missing a beat.

“Touché.”

“Well?”

“Let’s wait ‘til Trent gets back. When he’s stoned, he gets pretty crazy; wouldn’t want him to think I’ve been abducted by aliens because I’m an example of virile masculinity.”

“…Okay then. I’ll be right back; I’m going to get a drink.”

Through a veil of long eyelashes, Jacob’s eyes surreptitiously trailed after Pilot as he sauntered over to the counter. Could he trust anything that came out of Pilot’s mouth? Pilot was probably just as manipulative as his brother was. On the other hand, Pilot couldn’t paint a worse picture of Phoenix if he’d tried. The lawyer was all around bad news…and there Jacob was pining after him anyway. Perhaps hearing the truth from someone who knew the real Phoenix would be enough to make him wake the fuck up and get over his twisted obsession. God knows he wished he didn’t crave Phoenix’s touch the way he did. He just wanted to be happy; have a healthy relationship with Russell. Even if Phoenix did return his feelings in some hypothetical alternate reality, they could never have anything real, because at the end of the day, Phoenix was still married and apparently had no intentions of divorcing Felicity, and Jacob didn’t fit in anywhere in his perfect life.

Great, now he’d lost his appetite, too. It was just as well, though; he’d eaten so much he felt lethargic and on the verge of vomiting. Thinking of vomiting made him think about going to the bathroom, which led to him wondering what was taking Trent so long. The restroom door swung open at that moment, and out came Trent.

“What took you so long?” he enquired as Trent sat.

“Just remembered I scored a gram of coke at the party, but I couldn’t find it. I started freaking out, turning my pockets inside out and shit. I ended up getting naked in the damn stall and it still wasn’t on me. I think someone nicked it when I was sleeping. This is the second time for the day that I’ve had coke taken away from me! It’s bullshit, man!” Trent angrily flicked an onion ring onto the floor.

“Maybe it’s a sign,” Pilot drawled, startling both teenagers. “You shouldn’t talk so loud.”

Jacob clutched his chest, his heart going at 100 miles per hour. “Fuck! You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that!”

Pilot shrugged. “You ready to go?”

“Go where?” Trent interjected, eyeing Pilot distrustfully.

“We’re going for a walk,” Jacob replied. “We’ll be back soon.”

“I expect you back by five or I’m leaving your ass,” Trent waved dismissively, “don’t forget to use protection and make sure Goth Boy can’t tell someone else has been sucking your blood; I’d hate to see your name on the news as a victim in a murder-suicide.”

“Asshole,” Jacob flipped Trent the bird as he stood. He and Pilot made their way through the exit and onto the sidewalk. They headed left, no real destination in mind.

“So, who’s Goth Boy?”

“It’s rude to pry.”

“Aren’t you too young to be sleeping around this much?”

Jacob turned to glare at him. “We’re talking about Phoenix, not me, so don’t go assuming shit.”

“Someone’s defensive,” Pilot pulled a carton of cigarettes from his pocket, the cardboard crushed as though he’d sat on it at some point. “Hold my drink while I light this.”

Jacob did as told, taking a sip as payment. “Pepsi.”

Pilot nodded. The cigarette was between his lips as he dipped the end into the flame provided by his lighter. He quickly pocketed the carton and lighter before snatching his drink from Jacob, who happened to have drank quite a bit of it already.

“I like you, Jacob,” Pilot started. “I don’t know why, but you seem like a good kid and I think you can do a lot better than my bastard brother. Don’t give me that look; Phoenix might have money, but that’s it. He’s no good.”

Jacob sighed. “I know.”

“Yet you’re still letting him fuck you and treat you like shit, right?”

“How do you even know all this stuff about Phoenix’s sex life anyway? Was the caterer at the wedding tied up or something?” Jacob flashed a wry smile.

“No, but her ass was sporting some nice hand prints,” Pilot smirked. “Honestly, Phoenix has been screwed up from the time we were kids. He’s my big brother; I used to look up to him and shit, but he’s always been a jerk. I guess that’s what happens when you get everything you’ve ever wanted. He doesn’t value anything. He’s made manipulation a sport: our parents, maids, anyone he wants to. He only sees people as tools to gain whatever it is he wants. You think he loves Felicity?”

“He says he does…”

“He doesn’t. He’s simply taking advantage of the fact that she’s naïve and head over heels for him so he can live the American Dream without giving up the fun stuff. That’s the only reason he married her, Jacob, because she’d never see the real Phoenix as long as he covers his tracks. She’s bewitched by him.”

Jacob shoved his hands in his pockets as he processed this information. It made a lot of sense, too much sense. How could Phoenix be so calculating? His stomach lurched unpleasantly and his chest panged the way it did whenever he wanted to bawl like a bitch into his pillow. He was surprised when Pilot threw an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Comfort from a Scofield?

“It’s not the end of the world, kiddo.”

“It feels like it,” Jacob said honestly. Why bother hiding it anymore? Pilot knew so much more than he did.

“It’s better to get away from him now than to let him sink his claws even deeper into you. You were the one blackmailing him, but you probably don’t even remember that because he’s got you completely under his thumb. He’s never going to love you, Jacob. I don’t think Phoenix can ever love anyone but himself. I don’t want him to rip you apart the same way he’s going to rip Felicity apart. You’re fucked up enough as is.”

“Great looking out,” Jacob snorted.

“I mean it. If I talked to Felicity the way I’m talking to you right now, she’d never believe a word I say. She has to see the monster she’s married to for herself.”

“I think she’s beginning to, but she’ll probably try to fix him. Chicks are weird like that.”

“The truth will come out, I’m sure of that.”

“Felicity’s going to fucking hate me. We had sex in their bed once…”

“Stop letting him fuck you, damn it. It’s only giving him more power over you. Although I must say I’m surprised you’re into all that freaky shit…”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore,” he ran his hands through his hair. “I never really thought about it before Phoenix.”

“In retrospect, I didn’t either. The first summer Phoenix came back from university, he brought some guy home from a party and slapped him around a lot before fucking him like crazy and calling him every dirty name in the book. I never looked at him the same way since then…He’d always liked it rough, but that was intense.”

“Uh… pardon me for asking, but how’d you see that?”

“Phoenix’s room was across the hall from mine in our old house. You remember how I said we used to share everything, right? I wasn’t exaggerating… We had quite a few threesomes. Sometimes he’d leave his door open so I could watch him fuck someone. I’d either jack off to it or come over and join.”

Jacob’s face was red as a tomato, his eyes so wide that it looked painful. He wasn’t expecting anything like that. It was so wrong, and weird, and hot, but mostly wrong.

“I never noticed your how green your eyes were before. Very pretty,” Pilot laughed. “Yeah, I know it sounds fucked up, but when you’re a spoilt teenager, doing crazy, taboo shit is one of the few things that keeps you from getting too bored. I don’t regret it; I learned a lot of interesting things from watching Phoenix.”

“So did you jack off or join him that night?”

“I jacked off, but I was real confused about it. We stopped tag-teaming as much after that because he just kept on getting more and more into some freaky shit. Unlike Phoenix, dirty talk and a bit of smacking is where I draw the line.”

“Wow. That’s some story…”

“Don’t I know it,” Pilot chuckled, tossing his now empty cup into a trashcan. “Phoenix destroys everything he touches, Jacob. If you want to be happy, stay away from him.”

Jacob remained silent, deep in thought as Pilot led him over to a lonely bus stop where they parked themselves on the bench. Pilot had removed his arm from around Jacob’s shoulders in order to light himself another cigarette. Across the street, the 24 hour sign buzzed atop a tattoo parlour.

“Is that where you got your work done?” Jacob spoke after a nearly three minute pause.

“Yeah, the tattooist is a good friend of mine. We went to school together. He started the sleeve, and I can’t think of anyone better to finish it.”

“Still sounds too far out of the way.”

“I don’t live at my parent’s beach house, you know. My apartment is pretty close to Phoenix’s house.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that. You should come over sometime just to piss Phoenix off,” Jacob grinned wolfishly.

“Invite me over and I will.”

“Will do,” he paused, “I never thought I’d say this, but you’re not so bad. I mean, you’re still a jerk, but a likeable one.”

“Don’t trust me too much. I’m not your knight in shining armour. I’d still fuck you for fun… and to piss Phoenix off.”

“I have a boyfriend person.”

“Ah, yes, Goth Boy, right? You said that last time if I remember correctly, and yet you were enjoying it.”

Jacob raised an eyebrow. “If I remember correctly, I was telling you to stop. And you nearly took out a chunk of my neck.”

“Man, we’ve had some good times.”

“Pfft. Right.”

“I think you should come home with me.”

“You’re such a prick. I’m supposed to fall into bed with you because you were nice to me, with ulterior motives, for five minutes?”

“…You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“You and Phoenix are way too similar.”

“That’s insulting. So, I take it that’s a ‘no’ to going home with me?” Pilot was crushing his cigarette butt beneath one of his boots.

“I’m sleeping at Trent’s house.”

“I could take you there after…”

“I don’t know the directions to his place that well. Besides, I’m not sleeping with you.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Oh jeez. What time is it?”

Pilot pulled his cell phone out of his jacket and flipped it open. “4:45.”

“I should get back to McDonald’s now. Trent would seriously go home without me,” Jacob rose to his feet and stretched, his spine popping loudly.

“Yeah, about Trent… I don’t like him. Looks like a crackhead already. You’re a bad enough influence on yourself without someone like that.”

“Don’t worry about him; he’s practically harmless to someone as used to dealing with druggies as I am. Thanks for the concern, though. I’ll see you around,” he started to head down the sidewalk.

“Call me for real this time!” Pilot called after him.

“Buy me a cell phone and I’ll think about it!” Jacob called back over his shoulder.


==

Saturday evening found Jacob lazing around in bed. His glasses were perched on his nose in spite of his failed attempts at trying to read an essay on symbolism in Shakespeare for his next English Literature class. However, he was too distracted to focus on the already boring words. He felt like shit, both physically and mentally. He’d been replaying his conversation with Pilot over and over in his mind. His situation with Phoenix really was hopeless; there was no other word which so aptly described it. As shady as Pilot was, he’d raised pertinent points, and when it came down to it, he was right: Jacob had to end this thing before it completely consumed him.

He rolled out of the tangled sheets and onto the floor, hitting with a noisy thud. The aim had been to land on his feet, but this was close enough. He lied on the floor for a while, his cheek pressed uncomfortably against the hardwood. This was a piss poor way to stall for time. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t think he could realistically follow through with it; he was already crumbling before even leaving the solitude of his room. Sighing, he forced himself to get up and make his way to Phoenix’s study. As usual, the door was shut, and all of a sudden it was the most imposing thing on earth. He debated on whether he should knock or just barge right in.

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you to knock?” Phoenix frowned as Jacob slammed the door close.

“I need to talk to you,” Jacob declared, standing awkwardly in front of Phoenix’s desk.

Phoenix leaned back in his chair, looking rather unimpressed with Jacob’s latest bout of theatrics. “I’m listening.”

“It’s important!”

“I’m listening.”

He shifted nervously. “Oh.”

“Well?”

Jacob took a deep breath, steeling himself for the drama he knew was going to follow. “We can’t… do what we’ve been doing anymore.”

That seemed to have gained Phoenix’s attention, because he put his pen down and righted his posture. “And what have we been doing?”

“You know what I’m talking about!”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific than that.”

“The kinky sex we’ve been having! We can’t do it anymore. I’m done. You win. Whatever.”

“I see. And what’s brought this on?” Phoenix sounded so painfully aloof that Jacob wished the ground would open up and swallow him, he felt so insignificant.

“It’s doing nothing but hurting me. I can’t keep on living like that.”

“I’m not following your train of thought.”

“God, don’t make me say it,” Jacob whined, wringing the tail of his shirt in frustration.

“…Jacob, if you have something to say; spit it out. I’d like to get back to work.”

Something in Jacob snapped. “Fuck, Phoenix! I love you, okay?! Fuck, fuck, FUCK. Why do you have to make this so hard? Every time you fuck me, I fool myself into thinking that I’m the centre of your attention, even if it’s for a little while. I know it’s not true, yet I can’t stop deluding myself! I know I could be anyone to you, and it’s fucking killing me! I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore. I just want to forget it ever happened. I know you don’t give a shit about me, but please just let me put this behind me. You’ve done enough damage.”

So many emotions he’d tried to hide were threatening to bubble over and create a corrosive mess. His heart was pounding too fast and skipping beats and his palms were covered in nervous sweat. His eyes grew glassy and he could feel his body shaking, but he hoped Phoenix didn’t notice any of these things. He’d already exposed so many weaknesses to the man; he didn’t need more salt in his wounds.

And he’d only realised what he’d said when Phoenix’s lips formed a cruel smirk.

“You love me, Jacob?”

In for a dime, in for a dollar. “I don’t want to, but I do. I’m glad you find my feelings so fucking funny.”

“Jacob, you don’t love me. I’m just the first stable male figure you’ve ever really had in your life. I’m older than you are, attractive, and I made the mistake of fooling around with you. You’re confused. That’s all. I thought you were supposed to be more mature than this. You know, streetwise?”

“Don’t tell me what I’m feeling!” Jacob knew he was crying; his vision was blurred and damp trails were going down his face.

Warmth suddenly surrounded him, and he was shocked to find himself in Phoenix’s arms, his head tucked beneath Phoenix’s chin as he cried into his chest.

“I hate you so much…” Jacob’s words were muffled since he refused to stop desperately clinging to Phoenix…So much for escaping this with any dignity left.

“I thought you loved me,” Phoenix ran his fingers through the boy’s hair.

Jacob pulled away, staring at the spots his tears made on Phoenix’s T-shirt. “Do you seriously hate me this much?”

“I don’t hate you.”

“If you don’t hate me, then what do you feel towards me?” Jacob’s voice took on a hopeful lilt, as much as he wished it hadn’t.

Phoenix’s expression became unreadable. “I can’t answer that.”

“Why not?”

“Jacob, just let it go. You wanted to end it, and now it’s done. Things got out of control, and I’m sorry I did this to you,” he reclaimed his seat at the desk. “What more do you want from me?”

“…I don’t know.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing left to say.”

A few moments of tense silence passed as Phoenix pretended to be hard at work while Jacob watched, at a loss for what to do next.

“So, this is it, huh?” Jacob sniffed and forced a small smile, but it looked so artificial on his flushed, tear-streaked face.

“You’ll get over me; you’re young.”

“You must think I’m such an idiot.”

“I do, but you’re not the only idiot here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Phoenix sighed, his eyes now locked with Jacob’s. “It means a lot of things. Maybe someday you’ll understand. Good night, Jacob.”

“You’re throwing me out.”

“Subtly.”

He allowed himself a broken excuse of a laugh. “Good night, Phoenix.”

When Jacob buried his face into the pillow that night, he was certain he would ever understand the borderline schizophrenic Phoenix Scofield. He thought back on his talk with Pilot and all that he thought he knew about Phoenix… And in the end, he still wanted him just as badly, if not more.

Sleep wouldn’t come that night. He tossed and turned miserably, his brain refusing to slow down and let him have a moment’s peace.


==

He’d managed to fall asleep after watching the sunrise, his emotional exhaustion finally kicking in and working like a strong sedative. It was well into the afternoon when he dared to make it down the stairs. He was in brighter spirits, but that wasn’t exactly difficult since he’d been nearly suicidal last night. He should’ve been happy that Phoenix was no longer free to abuse him, and he’d taken the stupid love confession better than Jacob would’ve expected, so what more could he want? Nothing would’ve worked for them, and all the sex did was complicate things. And yet there he was missing the feeling of being under Phoenix’s body for the simple reason that he was afraid the man would have no use for him at all now.

Christ, why couldn’t he be normal?

‘Well, this is sort of normal. You can’t be expected to get over him in one day,’ said a voice in his head, obviously just returning from learning Psychology at some university…or watching lots of Dr. Phil.

Looking in the fridge turned out to be a fruitless venture; nothing looked appealing, and he found that he had no urge to eat at all. He wasn’t going to waste away over this; Lord knows he didn’t need to lose more weight. So he settled for the carton of 2% milk. Yes, he was going to drink whatever was inside the entire carton. That had to be the equivalent of a full meal. He took it out into the living room with him so that he could watch TV while he worked on an attractive, milk moustache.

He settled onto the couch, his feet propped on the coffee table, taking sips of milk in between channels. It was sort of strange how he’d grown to prefer the taste of 2% to say, chocolate or strawberry milk. His six year old self would’ve been horrified to see what he’d grown to like with age… At least he wouldn’t be disappointed about still finding girls ‘icky’ eleven years down the road.

“I thought you’d never get out of bed,” Felicity entered the living room. She was wearing a swimsuit, and from the bronze glow of her skin, one could conclude she’d been tanning poolside for the better part of the day. “Uh, why are you drinking from the carton?”

“Don’t worry; I’m gonna finish it,” Jacob replied with a shrug.

“…That’s…unusual.”

“I’m anarchistic today.”

She sent him a quizzical look. “I’ll take your word for it. Anyway, I’ve gotta get going; I’ve got a lunch date. You remember my cousin, Brett right?”

She flinched slightly at the withering look Jacob shot at her at the mention of Brett’s name. “Of course you remember Brett. Well, I’m meeting his mother for lunch at this new French restaurant. I’ve got less than an hour to get ready and I haven’t even picked an outfit yet.”

“You always look perfect anyway.”

“Thanks, hun!” she blew a kiss at him. “That reminds me! Russell called when you were asleep, so you should call him back when you’re not busy.”

Oh fuck. He’d forgotten all about Russell. Wouldn’t it just be the cat’s meow if Russell was mad at him when he had enough emotional turmoil on his plate to last a lifetime? …And now he was thinking like a 1920’s gangster. Honestly, the ‘cat’s meow’? Fucking hell. Just thinking about more drama was zapping his energy, and having a belly full of milk didn’t help, either. He hadn’t realised he nodded off until he was awakened by Felicity’s heels clicking loudly against the floor on her way out.

Deciding he couldn’t spend all day alternating between feeling sorry for himself and sleeping, he pushed his feet into his sneakers and hit the sidewalk, leisurely strolling to the Laird residence. With any luck, Russell would be horny and willing to fuck him until he was stupid, happy, and numb...Like that Everclear song. Although he was dragging his feet zombie-style, he arrived faster than he thought he would. The only car in the driveway was Russell’s Honda Civic, so his parents and Miranda were probably out. Russell had better be in the mood for sex, because this was just too convenient.

The German shepherd was literally dragging its ass across the grass in its fenced off, little area as Jacob skipped up the steps to the porch. That was probably the most movement he’d ever seen from that dog. He rang the doorbell, watching the dog ass-walk as he waited. A minute passed with no answer. He pushed the doorbell again, suffering the same fate. He scowled and walked around to the side of the house where he could hear loud music coming from upstairs. It was no wonder Russell hadn’t heard him! He observed the windows, trying to figure out which ones belonged to Russell’s room, although it was pretty obvious since only one room had black curtains patterned with skulls. No mystery whose room that was. He picked a pebble off the ground, his tongue sticking out from the corner of his mouth as he aimed. Hoping it worked like it did on TV, he chucked the stone at Russell’s window…which had apparently been open since it flew straight through the curtains.

A second later, Russell appeared at the window, rubbing his temple and looking around bemusedly until his eyes landed on his unexpected guest.

“Jacob?” he shouted, his voice almost drowned out by the music.

“Aren’t you gonna invite me in?” Jacob yelled through a megaphone formed with his hands. Russell gestured for him to wait before disappearing inside and turning the music off. Jacob went back to the front door, jumping the final step just as Russell opened door.

“You almost took my eye out with that rock,” Russell said, stepping aside so Jacob could get past him.

“Sorry—” Jacob’s words came to a screeching halt, distracted by how utterly delicious Russell looked today in baggy, black jeans and an open, black, button down shirt; both articles of clothing splattered with paint. The jeans rode low on his hips, and the shirt did nothing to help, leaving teasing glimpses of his tattoo for Jacob to drool over.

“Earth to Jacob,” Russell waved his hand in front of Jacob’s face. “I think we should talk about Friday night before you pounce on me.”

“We probably should…”

“Let’s go up to my room; I was working on a painting before you showed up. We can talk while I finish up.”

There was canvas board mounted on an easel in the middle of Russell’s room, his supplies in disarray on the desk beside it. A detailed portrait of an olive skinned girl with green hair and several facial piercings was well on its way to being finished. Hell, it looked finished to Jacob’s untrained eye.

“Who’s the girl?” he asked as he gracelessly flopped onto the bed.

“My friend, Alicia. You’ll probably meet her if you hang around here for too long.”

“She’s interesting looking.”

“Her dad’s Native American and her mom’s Somali. I think it’s a beautiful combination.”

“Should I be jealous?”

“You have nothing to worry about. I, on the other hand, can’t be sure about that,” Russell reached for a watercolour pencil, “after Friday.”

“Trent wanted to cheer me up, so he surprised me by taking me to a party. I danced with some guy and he started pawing all over me, and then you called. Nothing happened. Seriously.”

Russell added a few blue hues to the painting using the pencil, bringing certain areas to life. It was interesting watching him work, his brow furrowed slightly and he chewed his lip.

“I don’t think you’re lying. I know Christina has a crush on me; she always does this when I’m interested in someone else. She usually lies, but this time she wouldn’t drop it, so I called you. I kind of jumped to conclusions when it turned out that you were actually at the party.”

“My phone fell into the pool before I could explain things. Tori jumped me.”

“I’m sorry I freaked out at you. It’s just that… we… you know… fucked, and… I’d hoped it meant as much to you as it did to me. I’m not usually this sentimental, but you’ve managed to infect me,” he put the pencil down and joined Jacob on the bed. “Plus you didn’t even invite me to come with you.”

“I didn’t think about it… I kind of assumed it wouldn’t be your scene, not that it’s mine.”

“Are you calling me antisocial?” Russell grinned playfully.

“No, I’m call you perfect,” Jacob leaned in, pressing his lips against Russell’s, only to find himself on his back with Russell looming above him in all his dark glory. “Am I forgiven, Dracula?”

“How could I ever stay mad at you when you’ve got such a pretty mouth?” Russell resumed the kiss, slipping his hands under Jacob’s Metallica T-shirt and caressing the smooth skin underneath.

The kiss ended all too soon, leaving Jacob dazed as Russell rolled off him. He turned onto his side to give Russell a quizzical stare.

“I got accepted into the art school I wanted. It’s far from here; Dad already found a great loft apartment for me,” Russell turned to Jacob. “I’m leaving soon after graduation next month. I need to get away from here; get used to living on my own and shit.”

Jacob’s heart plummeted into the acidic depths of his stomach. This couldn’t be happening. He’d just found someone who actually cared about him, and the fairytale was soon over.

Karma was a fucking bitch.

He wanted to be happy for Russell, he really did, but nothing in the world could make the muscles of his face contort into a smile.

“That frown isn’t the reaction I was hoping for,” Russell said softly, running his thumb over Jacob’s cheek.

“I’ve been trying to smile for a while now,” Jacob glumly replied. “I guess you’ll have to settle for an honest reaction.”

“Well,” Russell grabbed Jacob’s hand, kissing his palm, “you never told me your plans after you graduate next year.”

“I never thought about it. I just assumed I’d get a job, find an apartment… the rest would fall into place eventually… I don’t think I’m graduating, though; as soon as I turn eighteen, I want to move out of the Scofield’s house. They’ve done enough for me.”

“When’s your birthday anyway?”

“August 31st.”

“How would you feel about moving in with me on August 31st?”

Jacob gasped. “Are you serious?”

“Fuck yes, I’m serious! For one thing, I’d have a hot roommate I can fuck without worrying about my sister barging in AND save money on rent,” he smirked amusedly at how Jacob went from dour to ecstatic in such a short space of time. “But most of all, we wouldn’t have to separate.”

“I’m so happy that I could cum an arc over the Eiffel Tower. I swear to God if I was in Paris, that’s what I’d do.”

“Well, we might not be in Paris, but I’m sure we could try something…” Russell palmed Jacob’s crotch lewdly through his clothes, creating beautiful friction against Jacob’s hard cock.

“Oh… wow… that’s good. Don’t stop.”

“I don’t plan on.”

As Jacob’s orgasm tore through him, he had the fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe, he could find happiness someday.

==
The Munez Feed:
First of all, I want to thank you guys for all the reviews and ratings you’ve left. They make me feel like I’m not just wasting my time writing weird, gay porn. I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays! So, a lot of you have been anti-Phoenix because he’s, well, a dick. He’s always going to be a dick, but you’ll understand him more soon enough…

Which leads me to the question: Who do you guys want Jacob to end up with? I know what’s going to happen, but you guys might be able to persuade me. *evil smile*

MrsOkita: I somehow managed to miss your review last time. There was no HARDCORE S&M yet because while Phoenix is a perverted bugger, he still hasn’t let loose on Jacob yet because he’s still a kid. And by that, I mean too young to get into a BDSM club, and unfortunately Phoenix can’t bring much of that stuff home...

J.T: Well, Phoenix no longer has to worry about Jacob… Or is it not really over? Hmm…

JayK: Glad you’re enjoying this insanity.

Jules: We haven’t seen the last of Juanita, ohoho. And you got what you wanted! Jacob has kicked Phoenix to the curb! I like Trent, too. He’s my favourite minor character, that’s why there was so much of him last chapter. XD

Kylee: Let’s not think about what went on between Phoenix and Juanita. I don’t even know how I did that.

Marsel: This is probably not the intimate Phoenix/Jacob moment you wanted. *flees*

Milky Goodness: I love your user name. And yeah, this story paints a rather grim picture of love, doesn’t it? I think my cynicism is showing.

Wynja: Ha, you made me snort water through my nose.

Camui: As long as you can handle my hardcore loving, I’m game, babeh.

DarkSacrifice: Wow, I’m surprised people remember that scene with Brett! Yeah, Phoenix’s been waiting to bust a nut on Jacob’s face for a while. And wow, you make me feel flattered as hell by saying this is your favourite story on here. As for me hating angst, one would never believe so. I don’t know why this story is like this.

SabakuLotus: Glad you caught up! Hope you’re feeling better; seems like we’re always sick! I’m dizzy right now myself.

Munez