White Rabbit

Review Replies
(Yes, they're first this time)

elisabeth chase: what a state of affairs!! how to become comfortable with this... :: sigh:: poor little bunny... how my heart bleeds....

in a side note... as your beta/editor, please don't let everyone think i'm the reason your updates are late. i have enough hate-mail!!

I can't believe you have hate mail! Who gives you hate mail? :gonk: Let me at 'em! *incessant yappy kanine barking* xD Anyway. I think I made clear in the last 'note' that absolutely NONE of the lateness was your fault...because it most certainly wasn't. Everyone should know that. You've been only a help to me the whole way through. ^_^ (No seriously, who's giving you hate mail? :ninja: )

Falcon Bertille: Fuck. Holy Fuck. That was just amazingly well-written. The rape scene was so vividly evoked, with so many sensory details, and Ashi's horror and misery were so clearly conveyed...it was really hard to read. I mean, it was really good, but it was like watching something horrible happen to someone you really cared about, and not being able to do anything. It really hit me in the gut. (And I'm a filthy sadist, so if it affected me that much, it really says something about your skill as a writer.) Lan's arrival at the police station was wonderful, too. I could really envision him, exhausted, out of breath, clinging to the door handle for support. It's good to see him finally make a stand. (Although I can only imagine what Jacques is going to think about him going to Garnen!) I'm glad to know that the next part will be posted soon, because I'm dying from the suspense!

And please tell me that you'll begin writing a new story as soon as you finish this one!

Love,
Falcon

MARZI!! Ok...that phrase just totally screams Marzi. xD (Fuck. Holy fuck.) That made me grin from ear to ear. I'm positively thrilled that you deem me worthy of those words. xD And the rest of your review, as usual, makes me all bubbly with happiness. I hope *prays* that this last chapter comes out as good as it should be and lives up to expectations.

I definitely plan on a new story. In fact, I plan on beginning it as soon as I get this last chapter posted. Just so you know ahead of time though...my next story will not be in the original fantasty section (it will be an original fantasy, but it doesn't really fit this genre specifically). I'll be posting it up in the science fiction section. (I'm really hoping I don't loose too many readers with this switch. ^^) I'm not sure when the first chapter will be up...but it should be there at least by the Monday after next. (Really, I'll try my very hardest...and the first few chapters usually come out fast!) I do plan on getting it out before then...but really, I think I've learned my lesson on promising high expectations. ^^;

Rin-chan: Ahhh migosh! ^____^ Mr. Moonstar, how could you think we'd hate you for the update? Of course I don't hate you, and I bet the other don't either - I'll bet they're just as happy as I am to see another brilliant chapter.

I think it's brave of you to write up such powerful chapter, with Ashi being used like a doll. T_T Poor Ashi-Chan, he didn't want to be a whore anymore, and now those guys are convincing him again. He gave up! Oh noes! *cuddles my Ashi-Dolly* Don't listen to them! You are what you want to be! Dont' believe them, Ashi! This chapter was done great as usual, Mr. Moonstar. =]

*hugs and gives you some chocolate* Is your internet being funny? You mentioned you'd do replies later if your internet held up *wishes your computer connection well* ^^ Take care, and I await your next update!

- Rin Rin

Oh good. No hatred. ^^; Brave...that's a nice word for that. :gonk: I always called myself cruel and uncaring but yes...brave is good. xP xD ^^; I'm glad the chapter lived up to expectations...and I sincerely hope this one does too (considering it's well...the LAST ONE!! T_T) No seriously...I'm panicked about posting this thing...

Yes. My internet was being funny...I got up the replies...but I think I missed some at the end. :gonk: Oh well. Thank you so much for the comfort. ^_^ Chocolate. *love*

Alisha Steele: S0 happy to see the update. I just love this story. It's definitely going in my favorites.

Tell me if you still think that after this chapter. T_T No really, thank you for your support. ^_^

Winterineden: “Lieutenant Evans is just finishing up with some investigators in the far office down that hall…they’re just finishing up if you want to go down there.” You use the phrase "just finishing up" twice in one sentence. Ok, so much for critique. I am disappointed to hear that you are not planning a sequel. What I personally visualized was a series. Garnen job doesn't seem to be all that for him, and poor Ashi just can't find his vocational calling. It may sound old and tired, but I could see them as private investigators or providing a security service. Garnen's brawn and Ashi's cunning. Not to mention Ashi definitely knows his way around the underbelly of civilization. That could serve as a backdrop to Lan's adventures, more on the mysterious Immortal, and more information on the portals. It would also nicely serve to explore Ashi and Garnen's relationship further. Maybe it is something you could consider in the future. One of the questions I had previously asked was whether or not you had entered any of your work in competitions. I could honestly see this piece scoring well for best original male character. Also, do you post on other sites?

xD I hate seeing that in other people's writing! No problem with the critisism...I know I make mistakes and I appreciate learning about them so I can fix them. Thank you. I notice that and that's one of the things that really makes me stop and go 'they repeated that twice'...either a word or a phrase. It really bugs me. Otherwise though...I wish I could tell you why I'm not making a sequal...but this chap will probably sum things up for you. That's an awesome idea though! I'm getting all regretful cause I can totally see that too...brawn and cunning. xD Sorry, sorry...but that makes me happy. I really could see them going undercover like that though...

I remember that question! I think I emailed you to answer it...maybe you didn't get it? Anyway. The answer is no. It's posted here...and I'm just starting to post it on a live journal account. It hasn't been in any competitions of any sort and I really don't know many places to post...if I did, I may well be posting in several...I don't know. This was my first ever published story on the internet so...yeah. ^^;

Flames Embrace: Gah! I lose internet for a few weeks and... there's a bunch more chapters! :3 It's fun to read it all at once. I feel so bad for Ashi, though. It's all been wonderful; great job!

Well I'm glad you're back! (And still enjoying.) You came back just in time for...THE END! :gonk: This is the last chapter...I'm glad you're here again to read it. ^^;


Note: Ok, yes, the replies were posted first...I did that because well...this is the end. And I wanted, really, to have whoever reads the replies reading it before the story. This is THE LAST CHAPTER. I've decided against an epilogue...so this is the end. *deep breath* Well...here it goes! Please, please, PLEASE tell me what you think?

Chapter Twenty-Four

Everything went by in a blur now, all the same, barely registering. The agony of every fresh attack had long ago deserted him, leaving only a slow, dull ache, equally spread over the entirety of his exhausted body. They all spoke to him, had something to say, a taunt, a threat….a million promises; he heard none of it. None of it mattered. Then they got bored. They wanted him to scream, cry, at least react, but he ignored them, shut his eyes and tuned it all out. It became a new game; no matter how he played, he lost.

They threw him, hit him, threatened him, but he kept up his rag doll appearance. Only when he the cold of metal pressed to his lips did he feel even a brief moment of panic. His eyes shot open at the feel by instinct, and the whole situation came falling back to him. He was on the floor again, but this time in someone’s lap, his back to them and their hands keeping him firmly in place. Someone else stood before him, and his eyes flickered to the item they held.

Not a gun, some of his original panic dissipated, not a knife either… He blinked to try and focus, his fatigue hazing his vision. Round, silver, cold…a large…ring? The man tried to force it in his mouth, and for a few brief seconds he simply frowned in mild confusion before realization dawned; he panicked. Clenching his jaw tightly shut he turned his head, thrashing against the grip holding him and trying to force his head forward.

They began laughing again, harsh, cruel laughter, pounding in his head and returning his dulled senses back their original state. He gave a tiny choked cry as someone caught his ears, gripping at the base and yanking back as you might a circus animal, a rabbit pulled from a hat. He swallowed unintentionally, the movement exaggerated along the length of his now fully exposed throat.

“What’s the matter? Bunny doesn’t like the metal? Doesn’t like the leather? We just want to play…”

“Wanna make sure you don’t bite.” More laughter; Ashi shut his eyes tightly, again trying to will them all to silence, but this time they didn’t let him go.

“Hey. No zoning out again, baby. You’re in this…you play.” Violet flickered open as a blade pressed to his exposed throat, and a sickly pleased smile met his gaze. “Open wide.”

“Bastard.” It came out as a hiss, but they took the opportunity and shoved the cold metal roughly between his unyielding lips. Without his hands, none of the thrashing mattered a wit, and in no time, they had the ring in place. It was only about an inch and a half in diameter, but it forced his mouth plenty wide enough to hurt, stretching his jaw and making his already labored breaths harder. He felt a fresh sting of tears as they lashed it in place.

As soon as they dropped him, he dropped his head, struggling again to avoid the inevitable, but harsh hands gripped his chin firmly and yanked him to face forward again.

“Ah, ah. Can’t have that.” The voice held a sort of cooing tone, as if to scold a misbehaving child. Ashi blinked rapidly to force back the blur of tears. “Good bunny.” Hands gripped at the nape of his neck, forcing him forward, and he shut his eyes, already knowing what came next. The knowledge did nothing to lessen his revulsion.

Putrid flavor filled his mouth, the rough shaft blocking his windpipe and cutting off his air supply. He tried to withdraw by instinct, gagging and choking for breath, but it made no difference. He couldn’t breath, couldn’t see; his eyes stung and blurred as his throat convulsed, desperately trying to bring in oxygen, but failing on every occasion.

‘God help me.’

Finally, he got a brief gasp of air as the man moved out some; however, it didn’t last long. It was like someone barring your mouth open and then shoving a fleshy wooden pole down your throat repeatedly, and in a sense, that was exactly what happened.

Ashi choked, sputtered, and gasped for breath through his tears, meanwhile loosing one partner behind him and gaining a replacement. It took little time before his throat went raw, swollen from brutal use and incapable of anything but the occasional haggard breath. When the man finally finished in his mouth, the sour, distasteful substance coated his lips and tongue, only the tiniest bit making down his throat while the majority spilled over his front. The solid ring not only forced his mouth open, but made swallowing a near impossible task.

Almost simultaneously with the man previously in his mouth, the one behind him withdrew, shoving him forward and leaving him to choke, on all fours, coughing up blood and cum across an already filthy floor. More laughter. His head pounded. He didn’t care. They could all die. They could all drop dead and die. Or maybe he could just die. Shut his eyes and….

Someone kicked him. Hard. He barely gave a grunt as his weakened body collapsed, face forward and scraping on his elbows. He grimaced as grit filled his open mouth, but couldn’t spit and settled for another half-hearted grunt as another hit struck him, this time his ribs instead of stomach.

“What’s the matter, bunny?”

“Get up.” Another kick.

“We’re not through with you yet.”

“Not tired out already are you?”

“We’re just getting started.”

His stomach tossed and he retched, but came up with nothing but spit and blood, his stomach already empty. Laughter. Laughter. Laughter. What the hell was so goddamn funny anyway? What was funny! Someone lifted him, forced him up against the wall, and he barely winced as his forehead collided with brick. None of it mattered. He felt so tired…

Then they changed their mind, tossed him off to the table instead. He gave only the tiniest objection as his limp body fell atop the green felt pool table, a number of hard, randomly placed balls scattering in his wake. Then suddenly, all noise stopped. For a moment, he considered maybe he’d finally died, but a single low, hated voice doused the hope instantly.

“Bueno, conejo. Muy bueno. You look so pretty…out on the table like a common whore…” Ashi heard the sinister malice in his voice, the sick pleasure, but he kept his eyes shut, refusing to meet the man’s gaze. “But that’s what you are isn’t it? Asi bonito….so pathetic.” Scorn dripped from his words, coating every syllable with such an unbearable hatred, it sent a shiver straight through him, like a stab of ice to his core. Before he got out even the barest mutter of reply, Carlos spoke again.

“Leave.” It took the rabbit a moment to realize he was speaking to the crowd now, and fresh fear struck him. All too soon, he heard the others emptying out, and for once, he regretted it more than anything. He didn’t want to be alone, not with Carlos.

The other’s footsteps crunched on the glass, dirt and grime, as he stepped closer, and every time it felt like they brought him a single step closer to death, foreshadowing doom ahead with each footfall. Then, hands slid behind his head and his eyes shot wide instantly in startled confusion, meeting with amused ebony briefly before Carlos chuckled, loosening and finally pulling away the distasteful metal from his mouth. It dropped with a clatter to the pool table, and Ashi spit with a grimace, his tone malicious and sarcastic when he finally got the voice to speak.

“What do you want? A white flag? A plead for mercy? For death? Maybe a thank you card?”

“I doubt you could hold up a flag right now, conejo…as for death…” Ashi winced, tried to withdraw as he felt Carlos’s fingers trace his cheek again, but it only sent a piercing stab through his side and he fought back a cry at the sudden pain. Catching his lip barely succeeded in muffling it. “…you look half-dead to me already. You should see yourself.”

When Ashi laughed, it came out hoarse and turned into a cough. He flinched as blood came in his throat and forced it down with a grimace, struggling to regain his composure. “I…don’t think I want to.”

“Witty till the end.” A gun clicked, locked into place, but bubble-gum lashes only fluttered shut with a sigh and Ashi shook his head tiredly.

“I wasn’t joking.” Violet flickered open again and met hard and unafraid with ebony. “I’m pretty sure I look like shit right now.” After a brief pause, he shifted against the tabletop, near biting through his lip in order not to cry out as pain jolted through him in objection to every movement. “Are you going to shoot me, Carlos? A little anti-climactic, isn’t it? All that trouble just to-“

A grip circled his throat, yanking him forward with brutal insistence and every part of him screamed in protest. Then the man threw him off the table, and he fell to the hard ground in a useless heap, a new gash opening across the back of his head where it hit cement.

“I don’t boast about my patience, conejo…and you have a habit of getting on my nerves.”

“So shoot me.” It came out ragged, choppy, barely audible, but still held a malicious tone. Despite everything, he found a way to mock the man above him, and it earned a swift, brutal kick in the gut. This time, no amount of swallowing prevented the blood from escaping his lips and coughing out onto the floor. Somehow, that sight alone seemed to dull Carlos’s fury, and he heard the man laugh.

“You’re worse than I thought. Coughing up blood, conejo? What did you let them do to you?”

Ashi shut his eyes against the onslaught of disgust and tears, forcing his useless body to all four, only to collapse again. A shaky, silent sob escaped him and he cursed into the ground, violet eyes tearing despite all effort. “I told you to shoot me.”

“Oh?” The other sounded vaguely amused, obviously pleased with increasing show of weakness. “I’m not quite sure I heard what you said, conejo. Did-“

“Shoot me god dammit! Kill me…” The last words came out as a hoarse whisper. “You’re going to anyway.” Carlos’s foot pressed at his side painfully, rolling him to his back, but he forced his face emotionless and stony as their eyes met. “Shoot me you mother fucking son-of-a-bitch.”

He had planned to keep his eyes open, head held high and fearless, and never give in to his vulnerability, but in truth, when it came down to that last split second, all though, rational and otherwise, faded to nothingness. A piercing gunshot rang through the room.

Ashi didn’t know exactly when he realized he’d closed his eyes, but he knew it must have happened sometime, because as he lay there, body tensed and panting in perfect darkness, he eventually had to open them again. When he did, it took him another confusing period of dizziness to actually decide he had, in fact, not died.

The clatter of a gun beside him brought back reality in a snap and he near screamed at the sight of dead, open ebony eyes, staring at him blankly from Carlos’s still form. As the sheer volume of the situation hit, a choked sob escaped him, and his terrified eyes lifted to find the form of Carlos’s murderer, leaned partially against the door, gun still up and in hand.

From his position, the officer’s broad, looming figure in the doorway reminded him of a wolf, back bristling and teeth bared after a fresh kill. With a vicious, crouched panther to his left and a full grown, regal tiger panting at his right, the man looked positively dangerous. Wild. It took less than a second before the officer’s dark gaze landed on him, the next, and he was beside him. After one, fleeting glance over the albiri’s battered form, he shouted back to those in the doorway.

“Go back up! Tell them we need ambulances now! And tell ‘em to bring an extra stretcher…” Ebony never faltered once, barely flickering to Carlos’s body before he continued. “We have a body.”

The tiger hesitated, giving one step toward the couple in the room before the panther gave a warning growl, nudging his side meaningfully toward the door and flashing his eyes dangerously. Their gazes met briefly, as if in silent debate before Lan finally gave in and followed hastily after his darker companion.

As soon as they left, Garnen began a more thorough inspection of the rabbit’s state, quickly shrugging off his outer jacket as a rough form of cover before going over the wide variety of everything from minor cuts to large gashes. Every search only made the situation look worse and he soon felt a heavy dread knotting in his stomach, cold fear hitting him at the sheer brutality of Ashi’s situation.

“What did they do to you…” It came out as more a whisper than anything else, not really meant to be answered, but the albiri laughed humorlessly in response, his throat coarse as he smiled. The expression never reached his eyes.

“What did they do to me?” Garnen’s gaze flickered up to his face, as if realizing for the first time that he was actually conscious. “Have you ever had the dick of every disease infested, drug-dealing drunk in Texas shoved in your mouth and up your ass for three hours straight while they laughed and drank and shouted and-“

“God, I-“ He reached out for him but the rabbit winced away, eyes shut and teeth grit as he objected fiercely.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Ashi…I’m so-“

“Just…d-don’t…” For the first time in the course of his entire ordeal, Ashi’s tears flowed freely, and his body shook with the effort as he sobbed into the ground. “I’m filthy…”

The last words came out as a whisper, shamed and muffled into the dirt and grit, but Garnen heard them and his heart surged in response. Without even a second thought on the matter, he reached out by impulse, forgetting the fractured bones, broken rib, and numerous unavoidable gashes as he slipped his arms under the frail body. Ashi weighed close to nothing, even less than usual, and it only increased his worry as he cradled the tiny figure, trying to keep strain off the other’s movements as much as possible.

Whether from pain or simple shame, he couldn’t tell, but the rabbit’s body only shook worse in response as he took him in his arms. He gave several small, feeble attempts at pressing the officer off, but had no strength left to resist, even if he had truly wanted to escape.

“Please…please don’t…” Sobs wracked his body as Garnen cradled him, holding the shaking body close as a parent might a crying child and pressing soft, comforting kisses to the man’s dampened forehead. “I tried…I tried to keep them off but I couldn’t…I couldn’t, Garnen…I’m so sorry…I…”

A coughing fit threatened and he struggled to cover his mouth, muffle the shaking, but crimson liquid came up again, staining his pale fingers, and Garnen could only watch helplessly as the man he loved choked on his own blood. By the time his coughing subsided, his features looked taut, strained and even weaker than before.

Garnen shut his eyes, catching his lip between his teeth and lowering his forehead to the other’s, as if somehow not watching could ease the rabbit’s pain. “Don’t talk like that, baby…please don’t. I’m the one who should be apologizing…I should have found you days ago…I never should have let you out of the house…I-…God I’m so sorry, Ashi…”

The smaller shook his head faintly, forgetting for the moment that he didn’t want the other’s presence as he curled closer, letting his eyes shut in fatigue. “I’m just a burden to you anyway…I always have been…… You can’t spend your whole life watching over me…”

Garnen frowned, eyeing the figure beneath him in confusion. “Surely you don’t believe that…”

A faint, barely visible smile flickered into place over the rabbit’s lips. “You know it’s true, Garnen…even from the beginning…you never wanted me in your house…” Opening his eyes ever so slightly, violet met with almond and his smile twitched up sadly. “I’m a whore…remember?”

The officer’s features tightened into something almost resembling anger. “Don’t talk like that! I don’t care what you are! You were never a burden! And I will watch over you…no matter how much you hate it…” He shook his head, his voice wavering ever so slightly as he traced a thumb gently over the smaller man’s cheek. “Don’t start talking so ridiculous…I’m gonna take you upstairs…get you to an ambulance…and you’ll be fine.”

“Garnen…”

“You’ll be fine.” He whispered it again as if to assure himself of the fact, pressing another light kiss to the man’s forehead and silently praying that whoever was coming…came soon. Carrying the rabbit up the stairs himself would only cause further damage, and he didn’t know how much more the already weakened body could take. “Just wait…and you’ll be fine.”

Ashi gave a timid attempt at a smile, lifting his hand shakily to the other’s face, but barely gracing it before the effort became too much and only Garnen’s own grasp held it up. “You’re acting…like I’m gonna die or something…I’m already fine, Garnen.” His flickering smile looked less than convincing, and the pain he hid in his expression reflected plainly in his eyes.

“I’m not a doctor, Ashi…but you’re coughing up blood…your body is weak and you look about to faint…when was the last time you ate?”

Ashi shrugged carelessly, but the motion hurt and he didn’t get the time to mask his expression before the pain showed. “L-last…ngh…” He grit his teeth and cursed silently to himself. “…that umm…the morning before that interview…”

Cold panic hit the officer like a lead weight in his chest. Four days? The rabbit had his eyes shut again, laboring over every breath like a new struggle each time. “Ashi…”

Violet flickered open again, and he barely even smiled this time. “Don’t…look at me like that. I told you I’m fine…just tired…alright? Don’t worry so much…” His lashes fluttered again, as if to shut, and Garnen tensed.

“Don’t!” Ashi looked up again. “I mean…don’t sleep yet… They’ll be in here soon…just…stay awake…”

The rabbit laughed, but it turned quickly into a cough and soon Garnen found himself holding the other tight all over again as labored coughs shook his body. Blood. More than last time. He’d never felt more helpless. By the end, he was tracing his fingers repeatedly through the dampened, dirty pink locks, whispering and soothing as best he could, desperate to do something, anything, to ease the other’s struggle.

Finally, when the shaking ceased, and Ashi lay limp once again, he shook his head. “I need to get you upstairs…they’re not coming fast enough and you need help.” When he made a move to stand though, the rabbit’s grip tightened on his shirt and Ashi shook his head meekly.

“No! Please…let’s wait just…a little longer…” His voice sounded so horribly weak it hurt to listen. As he nuzzled closer, curling his face into the protective curve of the officer’s arms and chest, Garnen felt his heart swell with such raw emotion…it scared him.

“Ashi…you need help…every second down here is wasting time and-“

“I’m fine.”

“You’re NOT fine, goddammit! You’re hurt! You’re bleeding! You’re coughing up blood for god’s sakes! I’m not…gonna let you just sit here…and watch you-…watch you…”

“Watch me what?” Garnen felt the rabbit’s body tensing against his, his forced words coming out laced with anger, challenge, and tears. “Watch me what? Watch me die? I’m not gonna die in a hospital, Garnen! I’m not gonna fade away while…while fascinated strangers in masks prod open my body and see what portal trash looks like from the inside and-“

“You’re not gonna die period, Ashi! You’re not…I’m taking you up right now and-“

“No! Don’t, don’t…please don’t…” The rabbit’s came out between sobs now, and it wrenched at the other’s heart just to hear. Ashi never left himself so open, vulnerable. “Please just……hold me.”

“Ashi…”

“Please…?”

Giving a last glance to the door, Garnen finally sighed and gave in. “Alright…but if someone isn’t here in five minutes-“

“Ten.”

“Seven.”

“Dick.”

“Whore.”

“Bastard.”

Garnen pressed a gentle kiss to the man’s forehead, whispering quietly against it. “Shut-up.”

A soft smile flickered to the rabbit’s lips. “You first…”

“Never.” It came out as playful whisper, and Ashi almost giggled as the officer placed a kiss to his nose.

“You’re…hopeless…”

“Am I?”

“Yes.” Then their lips met, every so briefly at first as Ashi tried to pull back. “I’m filthy, Garnen, you don’t want to-“

“I’ll decide for myself what I do and do not want to do, thank you very much.” Ashi was right of course; his lips had a salty, almost sour aftertaste to them, a mixture of blood, sweat, and cum, but it only served to spark Garnen’s protective nature. The rabbit belonged to him, no one else, and they had no right to leave themselves there on his lips.

“Garnen…” They broke briefly at the quiet protest. “How can you forgive me…so easily?” Violet wavered under the officer’s heavy inspection, confusion reflecting vividly in his lavender gaze.

Dissatisfied, Garnen frowned again slightly, raking his eyes over the honestly confused man below him before shaking his head. Wanting to choose his words carefully, he took some time before answering. “When you disappeared…at first I thought you’d left me…I thought I’d hurt you and I wouldn’t ever see you again and…I couldn’t bear it. I couldn’t sleep…I couldn’t think… The next day I got in contact with the department…and it took two days…two days, Ashi…to even know something had happened to you…that you hadn’t just walked off. I don’t know how many times I cursed myself for letting you walk out that door…for putting you in danger…not even watching and-“

“You didn’t know I’d-“

“When we finally got information…when Lan came in with news of where you were….I knew something had happened…he was crying and shaking and trying to talk and-“

“Garnen…”

“When he finally told me where you were, I-“

“Garnen!” It hurt to raise his voice, but the officer paused, he continued determinedly. “Must you always complicate everything so much? What’s the point of all this?”

“I love you.” The butterflies took over in an instant. Every thought of pain and anguish left him as if swept away by an unseen force and nothing but Garnen’s eyes, deep and sincere, meant even a whit of difference. “I love you…and I don’t know what I’d do without you…you brought meaning back in my life and…I should have told you that before…I should have told you before I let you walk out that door…let you get hurt like this…and-“

“Garnen…” This time, he paused immediately, and almond flickered up to lock with lavender. “…you’re talking too much again…I love you too.” Then, forgetting circumstances, location, and everything but each other, their lips locked together, fitting like two pieces of long lost puzzle, finally reunited after an eternity of incompletion.

At that very moment, the plywood door crashed open. Doctors, stretchers, guns and officers: everyone piled in like a sea of light and noise, and it almost surprised Garnen that they hadn’t brought in the cars as well for all the racket and commotion it caused. As every eye in the crowd fell on them, he felt the rabbit’s grip in his shirt, the slender, frail body suddenly tense and panicked all over again. He cursed silently.

Even before they made it fully apart again, the mass surged forward. While two doctors lead a stretcher and quickly took off Carlos, another set came up beside Garnen himself, the apparent leader of the team giving a disgusted look over the two before snapping out orders and questions.

“Put the half-breed on the stretcher and find some proper coverings. The thing’s not even half dressed…but nothing too important. Whatever we use’ll be ruined…it’s got gashes all over the place.” The doctor, still looking revolted, turned his attention reluctantly to the officer as his associates began scrambling. “Did you find him like this?” He spoke again before Garnen got a chance to answer. “You shouldn’t have moved him. Whatever damage he’s undergone has likely doubled from what it might have been…and even from here he doesn’t look good. You should have waited for medical assistance and-“

“He was choking and laying in the dirt! Coughing up blood and-“

“Coughing up blood? If he has internal bleeding that only makes the situation worse! And as positive I am that everything you did was for health interest ONLY…I hope you understand the risks of-…what are you idiots doing? Take him and-“

“No! No, no, no! Let me go! Don’t touch me…Garnen! Garnen don’t let them, make them go away…please!”

Before Garnen even opened his mouth to try and explain, the man who’d originally spoke snapped out harshly. “Ridiculous! Take them apart. Talk some sense into the idiot. The struggling is only worsening the wounds. It’s going to damage something permanently if-“

“Get off! L-let me go!”

As he struggled, thrashing against the doctors’ hands, his body screamed its objection, sheer agony stabbing through him with every new movement, but he paid it no mind. He barely registered as Garnen tried to talk to him, tried to calm him, the team leaders continued shouting blocking it all out, and that did nothing but spark his protest.

Some decent, clear thinking part of him argued that his objections were foolish, pointless, dangerous even, but another part, the part that currently sent him to panic and tears, told him that if he got on the stretcher, let the doctors take him, he’d never see Garnen again.

Regardless of all his struggling though, in the end, they succeeded in getting him up and on the carrier. A pristine, crisp white sheet soon stained bright crimson with freshly spilt blood as he thrashed and sobbed against it. When Garnen finally pushed through to grip his hand, his tossing slowed, but the sobbing continued, only changing to an almost hopeless nature as he returned the officer’s grip.

By the time they made it up the stairs and back out, the cold hit him like the sting of a million tiny needles, the thin white sheets doing nothing to shield his otherwise bare body. Flashing blue and red pierced through the dark like strobe lights, lighting the area and illuminating the otherwise black sky with an unnatural tint. Sirens filled the night with endless wails, and megaphones crackled orders over far too distant spans of grass. When they forced the officer away, lifted him into an ambulance, and closed off the rest of the world, Ashi’d never felt so alone, so helpless, and so tired.

As his panic faded away a deep, encompassing sadness took over. His racing heart slowed, his broken body went numb, and only the monotonous, heavy shaking of his ragged breaths filled his ears. Everything felt cold, bleak, and far off as the noises fell away and his eyelids lowered in fatigue. He vaguely heard Garnen shouting outside, a wide variety of loud and profane protests coming muffled through the thick metal doors to him, but soon, as the ambulance engines rumbled into action, that too faded away.

Taking in air felt like trying to breath through shards of broken glass, and before he knew it, another fit of coughs took over. Alone in the cold dark of an ambulance back, stretched out on the crimson stains of his own blood, Ashi cried, shaking as his coughs turned up more blood than he could spare, and trembling as strangers he hated took him rapidly away from the one familiar face he loved.

~

Garnen didn’t know how long he stood there, waiting at the emergency room doors, trying to desperately to explain his situation to the flustered female assistant as she struggled to calmly tell him all the protocol reasons why he just couldn’t be allowed in. After exactly twelve precious minutes of this, someone else finally came to resolve the situation, and another six minutes later, he was shouting a whole new case.

The self-same doctor who’d first lead the team down in Carlos’s basement operation now stood before him, looking all to smug as he denied access.

“I’m sorry, but the patient is in critical condition and I-“

“Critical condition? What are you doing to him! I need to see him goddammit! If you-“

“Are you his brother?” Garnen seethed. “His father? His wife?” The officer looked positively livid, but the other continued emotionlessly. “If you’re not of some blood relation…or married…I can’t let you in.”

Dark almond narrowed. “Yeah. I’m his wife. Now let me in.”

The doctor gave a flickering look of disgust even as his face paled slightly. “I’m sorry, but even if you had papers on that…this hospital doesn’t recognize homosexual….pairings.”

“If you don’t let me in-“

“Do you honestly think it’s in your best interest to threaten a practiced surgeon at a time like this…officer?” At Garnen’s furious silence, a look of pure, smug victory flickered across the man’s face and he shook his head slowly. “Now if you’ll excuse me…”

So, for three silent, empty hours, Garnen waited, alone and desolate as his emotionless eyes watched every second drag on for eternity. After an hour and a half, the flustered assistant vacated her post and came to sit beside him in the otherwise empty room, filling the rest of his time with her idea of comforting words, a long, endless flow of chatter.

By one thirty seven, he knew her name was Mary Rosen, short for Maryanne, she was a university law student currently taking three desk jobs both at this hospital and the morgue clinic, she supported his relationship completely and had several gay friends, and if she ever got the money to leave she was moving to Massachusetts. At one forty, three tired doctors walked into the room, and Garnen stood instantly from his seat.

The stressed, hazel eyes of a stranger told him more than he wanted to know, but before he could question, the white-coated man spoke. “Are you family?”

“No, but-“

“He’s been waiting for three hours to hear ‘bout that poor boy, can’t ya tell ‘im something?” Maryanne spoke up for him first, shoving back a nervous ramshackle of loose dirty blonde locks. The doctor eyed her, his tired eyes giving a faint hint of amusement behind everything before he glanced back to the officer.

“You know him?”

“Yes.”

“Then I suppose you’re the best we have…follow me.” Giving a single nod to the other two beside him, the one who’d spoken lead Garnen off alone, out of the waiting room and into the hall till they came just outside the room that currently held Ashi.

“Now…how much…do you want to know?”

A deep, tired sigh escaped him as Garnen ran an anxious hand back through his hair before shaking his head. “Anything…everything…how is he?”

The man beside him took a slow breath, like someone stalling for time before giving out bad news. “Are you a doctor?” Somehow, that sounded like an excuse to avoid the subject and Garnen briefly considered asking if he looked like a doctor, but resisted, simply shaking his head silently instead.

“Alright…then I’ll state this as simply as possible. Normally…in humans…a fractured, or even broken bone can be mended with reasonable ease…or at least put back in place and given time to heal itself. This…friend of yours…has a unique bone structure and an incredible immune system…but it fights our regular medications. Instead of…snapping…like most bones do…his have shattered…and there are sharp, fragmented pieces now loose…just…out there, in his body…doing damage and getting lodged where they shouldn’t. X-rays give me reason to believe that they actually weren’t like that originally. The beating he endured broke bones, but they didn’t shatter. Only a wide variety of movement and scraping might have caused such a disturbance and-“

Garnen lost track of the conversation there, his mind going back instantly to the rabbit’s thrashing struggle against the doctors to get him on the stretcher, his panic and tears, his honest terror of being brought into an emergency room alone. Dark eyes shut and the officer cursed beneath his breath.

“-can’t seem to find anything that helps him and his condition is only getting worse by the minute. His heart rate’s already slowing down…becoming more sporadic and undependable. The tranquilizers we gave him to help the process and numb his pain are only putting an added pressure on his immune system and instead of working together it’s wearing him down… Unless there’s some miracle…he won’t make it through the night.”

Subconsciously, even as his heart clenched in dread and his body swayed in a sudden overpowering fatigue and hopelessness, Garnen glanced to his watch. Four fifty one. “Is there any good news?” He found himself speaking as if from some far off place, his mind barely on the words as his mouth shaped them, his entire focus on the unconscious figure sprawled out, limp and pale against the ghostly hospital sheets.

The doctor glanced up to him. “Are you Garnen?”

“Yes.” He looked back and found a curious, almost sympathetic hazel gaze eyeing him.

“All he talks about is you.”

~

Garnen always thought Ashi looked small, his slender, petite figure always dwarfed in comparison to his own, but now, looking at the tiny rabbit splayed out like a useless heap of thin, pale limps across the sheets; he looked minute, indistinguishable and irrelevant amid the sea of pristine white.

Instead of his usual perky, vibrant self, the surroundings downgraded him, stole every bit of color from his energetic form and left him bland, dry and colorless. Even his usual bubble-gum locks turned into a sort of pastel, faded pink against the white, and his peach skin looked ashen, ghostly.

When he shut the door behind him, a single white ear twitched, shuffling against the pillow, and a second later, the softest, most exhausted voice he’d heard in a long, long time spoke up. “I don’t want any more pills…and I don’t want any fucking medication…” Garnen took a few steps into the room and heard the rabbit sigh in the sheets. “Please…just leave me alone…” It sounded so desperate, so defeated, that it sent a pang of regret through him, and he stepped up to the bed.

“It took me three hours to be allowed in here…” Violet snapped open instantly. “…it’d be a shame if you turned me away now…”

“Garnen!” Ashi immediately made to sit up, but the sudden strain on his unaccustomed body backfired and only the officer’s quick movements broke his fall as he collapsed back with a wince. “F-fuck that gets annoying…”

Garnen shook his head lightly. “If you didn’t do such silly things…you wouldn’t hurt yourself. Your body’s not ready for such strenuous activity…”

The rabbit gave a quiet grunt of dissatisfaction. “Yeah. Like sitting up? That’s real strenuous.” He gave no objections to the officer’s hold though and gladly leaned back into it.

“That’s not what I meant…”

After a brief moment of pause, Ashi spoke up quietly. “What are you here for then…has he finally given up and pronounced me a lost cause?”

Garnen felt his chest clench and he shut his eyes, answering a little to slowly. “No. Nothing like that.”

It took the rabbit a bit to answer, and for a moment he thought he might not speak at all. Then his voice came through, almost inaudibly quiet, “Oh…when, then?”

“When what?”

“When do I get to leave?”

Ebony flickered down to meet with sincere violet, and he knew the rabbit didn’t believe him for one second. “Sometime soon…”

Soft, feathery pink crescents lowered as the rabbit dropped his gaze to the sheets. “Liar…”

“Never.” A firm grip lifted his chin and lavender glanced up again at the tone to lock with the determined ebony above him. “Would I lie to you?”

Ashi gave a barely audible laugh, his lips twitching up in the barest hint of a smile as he eyed the officer almost sadly. “If you thought it would make me feel better? Yes.” Even as he spoke, he shifted slightly in the other’s embrace, leaning more of his weight back onto the man’s chest and turning his head just enough so that as Garnen leaned down, their lips met. “…and that’s something I love about you…”

The kiss stayed simple, soft, and tender, completely intimate in its innocence, and just the contact itself, the effortless joining, meant more in that one instant than a million frenzied ones could ever hope to. Ashi melted into the kiss. As all worries washed away, and the world shrunk to focus wholly on Garnen and Garnen alone, nothing else mattered. He felt a hand slipping into his hair, holding him steady at the nape of his neck and tracing a careful thumb over the features there as if to imprint them in his mind forever.

“Are you sure this doesn’t hurt you?”

“With all the drugs they gave me…I’m probably numb from the neck down…” Ebony flickered open and Ashi felt the twitch of a smirk, amusement creeping into his violet eyes despite all. “…and no, I haven’t tested it.”

Garnen dropped his head forward, shoulders shaking as he gave a mixture between a laugh and a cry, voice caught in indecision as he spoke. “You…never change…do you?”

Ashi gave a faint flicker of a smile, but by then the reality of the situation had returned, Garnen’s tone reminding of everything, and his eyes dropped low again. “Never.”

After a few moments of silence, the quiet reminded him again of his fatigue, and a flutter of fear rose in his chest at the feel, some deep instinct warning him against the sleep his tired body so desperately sought. Strong arms tightened just the slightest around him, almost as if the officer sensed his sudden hesitancy, and it did wonders to quell his dread. He laced fingers tightly in one of the comforting hands around him.

“Garnen…” A quiet ‘hm?’ muffled into his hair, and he took a breath before glancing over his shoulder again to meet with almond. “Will you lay down with me…at least for a little while? It feels like I haven’t slept in days, and I really am tired…” But it was more than that, and he knew it. Every part of him felt weighted and sluggish, as if it were fighting some constant battle he couldn’t see…and couldn’t win. He wasn’t tired; he was exhausted.

Garnen heard the defeat in his voice long before he forced himself to nod. Of course he would stay with him, at that moment, he couldn’t think of anything he wouldn’t do for the rabbit, and the thought didn’t occur to him as odd or protective, just natural. To the best of his ability, he wanted to make Ashi happy, regardless of personal consequence, and as he toed off his shoes, climbed into the crisp, manufactured sheets, and felt the rabbit’s warm, delicate body curl into his with complete trust, he knew why.

At first, Ashi’s heart felt like a hummingbird, struggling far beyond its capabilities to keep up an unsustainable pace, and Garnen found himself instinctively trying to sooth him. First just slow, gradual circles down the small of the man’s back, holding him close, but saying nothing, then, as that seemed to help, the occasional whispered word of comfort, or soft, barely gracing kiss to the silky pastel pink curls. After some unknown amount of time, as Ashi’s worry ebbed and a sort of soft, lazy contentment took over, he finally spoke up in a barely audible whisper.

“Garnen…talk to me.”

Careful fingers stroked tenderly through his hair, lingering ever so slightly before the officer replied near as quietly. “What about?”

“I don’t know…something…anything…” He ran his fingers absently over the officer’s still-clothed chest, eyes traveling the path without thought, as if forever ingraining the shape and feel in his mind before his eyes lifted to the man above. “About when you take me out of here in the morning…where will we go?”

Without his willing it, Garnen’s breath caught in his chest, and it took several seconds for him to will his voice steady as he caught the smaller man’s traveling hand gently in his. “Anywhere you want…” He laced his fingers with Ashi’s, reveling in the feel of such a smooth, delicate grasp. “…maybe we can just leave this place altogether…I never liked it much anyway.”

He rose his other hand to the man’s cheek, slowly tracing over it with his thumb and taking in the man’s every feature as he did so. Small, defined nose, creamy porcelain cheeks and soft, peaked lips all became unimportant after one, perfectly omniscient gaze from round, vivid lilac eyes.

“We could move to Massachusetts…forget all this insanity and start over…buy a new house…finish your education…get married.” Then, for one brief instant, he felt his heart leap as the tiniest, barely audible giggle reached his ears, and in that moment, Ashi’s eyes lit up again with every bit of life, enthusiasm and love that he never realized he’d grown so accustomed to.

“Oh?”

Garnen heard the playful amusement in his tone and he knew then that moment wouldn’t ever leave him. For the first time that night, his lips curved into a true smile, small, but there nonetheless. “Why not?” Reaching out a hand, he brushed back at a loose strand of pink in an age old gesture he’d grown so used to, he barely thought on it. “What do you say…you think you can bare to spend the rest of your life with me? Cooped up with one man in the same old house for years on end?” As Ashi’s soft, but unyielding giggles prevented him from saying much of anything, the officer leaned in ever so closely till his lips literally brushed along the soft fur of the rabbit’s ear before he whispered. “Will you marry me?”

He felt more than heard Ashi’s barely stifled gasp against him, and the next instant, before he got even a spare second of thought, he felt the smaller man’s hands on his chest again, tugging him down and bringing them to eye level before Ashi answered quietly with every bit of his usual confidence. “Yes.” And when they kissed, everything melted away.

The emergency room faded and the plasticy sheets didn’t matter for an instant. The warm, loving contact between them became everything, and for that one, blissful eternity, the world was perfect. Garnen’s hands slid to the other’s waist, caging them together and bracing their bodies so every part made contact; Ashi’s slender fingers clutched to him, clinging to the only anchor in a world that rejected his existence. Eventually, reluctantly, they had to part, but their lips lingered, and the moment never faded as they hung a breath’s distance apart, no one else in the world.

“When I wake up…will you be here with me?”

“Yes.” This time, their lips met more slowly, pressing and slipping against one another in the soft, intimate dance of lovers, a timeless and eternal cycle.

“Don’t leave me…I love you.”

It tore at his heart to listen, hurt his throat to speak, but Garnen did so anyway, hands clutching as needily to the petite figure in his grasp as Ashi’s own fingers gripped to him. “I won’t…” His words came out in a bare whisper. “I promise.”

And they stayed that way, for dragging, endless hours of perfect silence, their last words fading into the night as the rabbit slowly succumbed to his aching fatigue. Garnen had made up his mind not to sleep, to stay awake and aware over the sleeping figure in his arms and never give up his alert till morning fell safely on the both of them, but as Ashi’s soft, violet gaze fell shut, and his slow, rhythmic breathing became a steady, paced tempo against him, the call of sleep became near impossible to ignore and slowly, steadily, he felt his consciousness drifting off.

He didn’t know when it happened, didn’t know why, but suddenly, some abrupt shift sent him instantly awake from whatever state of sleep he’d fallen into. His first instinct sent a jolt of panic through him and he cursed himself thoroughly for falling asleep, instantly checking the figure below him for any signs of change. Finding none, he breathed a quiet sigh of relief, but it was short lived.

Though Ashi still breathed in his arms, his chest rising and falling slowly with sleep, the movement was so minimal, it sent a fresh swell of grief through him, and he instinctively sifted his fingers again through the silky curls before him. With each passing second, the pulse against him felt fainter, growing steadily more distant, and each time, he found himself waiting for the next as if his own life lay on the line, and not the rabbit’s.

“Ashi…Ashi wake up, baby please…” By habit, he began stringing his hands through the pastel in his grasp, not only in an attempt to calm himself, but rouse the rabbit as well. “Please don’t do this…you’re better than this…you deserve more than this hospital…more than this medicine that couldn’t heal you…you deserve a life…a real life…god, don’t leave it all now…”

Ashi stirred ever so briefly, but the movement ended as quickly as it came, and his heartbeat only weakened, as if that tiny action alone stole what precious little energy he had left. As the beats came slower and farther apart, Garnen found himself holding his breath between them, shutting his eyes and desperately willing each into the next.

Where were the doctors now? Where was the medicine? His throat burned and his eyes stung as he held them shut, his chest twisting with rage, hatred, and grief and his fingers clutched impossibly tighter to the frail figure in his arms. People spent their lives finding cures, researching treatments and diseases. Why weren’t they here? Why didn’t they know their medicine would hurt Ashi? Fight his immune system? Why did they leave him here…feeling so useless?

Then, everything went silent and he heard nothing. For one fleeting instant, his entire body fell still, every part of him on edge waiting, listening, taunt and drawn for something, anything to reassure him of the life beside him. One…two…three… Ever so softly, he felt the delicate fingers still on his chest clench, time standing still for one brief instant before Ashi’s last, flickering breath came out faint and soft against him. With his breath, that final grip faded and Garnen lay there helplessly as his lover’s body fell plaint and lifeless in his arms. For the third time in his life, Garnen cried.

~The End~


Note: Did anyone cry? Ok, sorry...please forgive me. That ending was in my head before I typed the first word of this story...it was ingrained, impossible to ignore. Trust me, I am NOT a sad ending person...I love happy endings, I hate to read sad endings...and I hate to WRITE sad endings...but this one was unavoidable. I hope...that you'll be able to forgive me...and that the majority of you reading this story will go on to read my next one?

Comment, rant, please tell me what you think. I really, really want to know...especially with an ending like this...I've never written one like it. (Well...I've never really published a story before period so...yeah. Anyway.)

I do plan on another story...but my next story will be posted in the science fiction section. I plan to post the first chapter by the Monday after next. The story's titled 'Eye of the Storm'...and I sincerely hope that well...I hope that everyone reading this now will go on to read my next...but that's probably a high hope. At least give it a try? Farewell for now!

-Moonstar

Note to Aidan eiram: You said...How could you, I know that they are your characters but they deserved more, much more than an uneanted death in a hospital and another lover gone. You might as well have Garnen kill himself because now he has nothing to live for. And death is the easist way to end a story. I was just hoping that this story would turn out better and you let the bad guy win! Even though he died Ashi died and that was just what he wanted. They just deserved so much more than that, so much more.

I just feel I really, really have to reply to this... First off, I'm so sorry I dissappointed you. I knew this ending would frustrate at least a couple...but I can only hope you'll somehow read this (since you didn't leave an email). You said death is the easiest way to end a story...I have to dissagree completely. Do you know how many people begged for a happy ending? Do you know how often I stayed up, tossing and turning in debate on whether or not to put up what 'really happened' or an ending that would make all my readers leave with that happy, warm and fuzzy feeling?

The large, LARGE majority of writers post happy/mostly happy endings...sad endings are RARE and at least for me...very difficult to write. I hated writing this...I loved Ashi. I never, never wanted to kill him...but that's what happened. Before I began this story I knew I had to kill him. Garnen will NOT just kill himself now...because a large part of this whole story was trying to get across that people need to accept CHANGE and differences...when things don't go the way we expect...we ADJUST.

Carlos died, Ashi's tormenter's were captured and jailed...Texas is a safer place and now Lan is free from this giant torment to go on with his life. Garnen has learned what it's like to re-open his emotions, learn to love again no matter what the cost...and he's still alive and breathing. He's only thirty-seven...he's still got a life ahead of him.

Yes. It'll be hard for anyone and everyone in Ashi's world to get over his death...but the point is that life goes on...and I really, really hope that you can understand that. If you still hate me/are dissappointed in me...then I can understand that too. But please know that this really was not the easiest end to the story...it's just what had to be done. (And sometimes...the bad-guys DO win...as much as we dislike it.)

-Moonstar