rate_review Reviews

I am so fuckin' crying right now! I didn't think it was going to end like that and...a geez, I can't think straight. Beautiful writing, read it all in one day, but I'm still crying! Of course that's what you were aiming for, but still, that was just so sad.

Write more! Just...not as sad.

--Dhampir

I am adding this story to 'Golden Nuggets (Original Slash List)', Rants/Journals section,
Only my personal favorites made the list:)
Thank you so much for writing!

I hate sad endings... Would have wished that you had just left the story incomplete, or not posted it at all

Chapter 15 review - Awesome!

You really did manage to make the veteran whore come off as an innocent.

'Smirk' is a horrible word. Truly horrible.

You are much too good an author to be using it so much...

And a little lesson on to-too-two. You go TO some place. You have TOO many problems. A pair of socks is TWO.

This critique is meant in the best possible way. You have excellent story plots, adorable characters and a wonderful writing style.

And I'll keep on reading - though I will occasionally SMIRK.

Wait... but... but... ;-;!

Sad endings make me so... well, sad, I guess. Ack! It was beautifully done- all the descriptions were perfect. It reminded me of when my cardinal died, and I was holding him and his heart started fluttering and then just stopped. You got the feeling perfect- left an impression on me. I was crying towards the middle of the chapter, when it was so obvious he wasn't gonna make it, and I kept telling my computer not to let him die. (He did, anyway. D:)

This was a fantastic story, Moonstar. Your writing is really impressive, and I loved following the whole story- it was sweet and sad and altogether beautiful. Thanks so much for putting it up here, and I can't wait for the next one! (*obviouswhisper* Lan's story! You know you want to.... :o)

I knew it! I knew you were going to kill him. I could tell at the begining but I was silently pleading with you not to hurt him. My poor baby Ashi! You can't do that to him, to Garnen, to me! This whole chapter made me cry over and over agian and I couldn't stop myself even though I tried. When I heard MakaiKitty going on about how sad it was and how mean you were I had to read the rest so I did. It took me about a week but I read 20 chapters and you still made me cry at the end.

I knew it'd be sad and that you'd make me cry but I never, ever, not once even thought it could possibly be that horrible. Poor Garnen, he has to go on without love in his life once again but since he's just a character from your brain and you ended the story, he won't have to go through any more pain. He can just float away similarly to the way that Ashi did. I'm glad that it ended the way you wanted it to though 'cause it's your story and if you went with what we, as readers wanted to see happen, it probably woul.dn't have been as detailed and well written as it turned out to be.

For a sad ending its not the worst I've read 'cause it has a semi-happy twist to it if you think hard enough. Carlos died and that leaves Lan and various others to live better lives. Garnen has learned that he can't keep anything inside of him forever - look I'm crying agian - and he'll move on eventually. In a way it's not tooo sad.

Great job. I hope you continue to write and maybe in the future you can create some stories with happy endings in your mind.

damn good story. ur an excellent writer. keep it up

Here I am, finally reviewing for the second time...
I guess I knew from the minute they got in the sticky situation that something was going to happen and either way, the ending wasn't going to be happy. Honestly, I really do think I knew it all along, yet when I finally got there, I cried. I'm a complete sap, yeah, but this was different. I felt sick to my stomach reading the rape and I just wanted Garnen to walk in at any second and when he finally did, I felt my heart tumble knowing it was too late.
I wish a bit that you didn't put in the marriage part. Though, I wanted to hear them say I love you from the beginning, the marriage part really got me. I've always thought to myself, if I say this and it's my last, how will I feel? Well now I feel sick and sad about that in this story. Though Garnen probably knew deep down Ashi wasn't going to make it, that a miracle wouldn't happen, he still hoped and in his head found comfort in what he wanted to be the future.
Ack.. I don't know how to put it, but, I guess I can be a bit on the odd side and say that I hope they will be together in the next life.

Looking forward to your next. Hopefully with a smile at the end instead of tears.
-Sam.

I liked the chapter. It was great! They kissed agian!!! I love it! I was waiting around, reading this at LJ when if I'd just come here and found you at AFF, I could have been finishing the story with you and Makaikitty. ;_; I wish I were smarter and came here but of course, no such luck and I didn't come here 'till I heard Kitty ranting about a sad ending. I don't wanna be sad but I want to know what happens. (curiosity kills the cat and such ne?)