Take Me From This Pain, Kevin's story

“So, you’re the football player then?” Joe asked after he shook Ryan’s hand.

Ryan nodded and scooted further into the booth to make room for Kevin and Jason. They’d shown him around the general area earlier and now they took him to their favorite pizza place to meet their other friends. He sized up the large guy who sat opposite him knowing he was a close friend of the guy Brian and Matt were meeting up with in Boston.

The boy was definitely athletic, with a brawny build and close-cropped rusty-colored hair. He wore designer jeans and a plain blue t-shirt, very clean cut. He also wore an amiable, yet wary expression. Evidently Kevin had discussed Ryan’s past. The older boy knew he’d have to be patient until he convinced everyone he wasn’t that kind of guy anymore. He knew there was hope. After all, he seemed to be getting along well with Kevin.

“You play anymore?” Joe went on.

“Not planning to here. I need to keep my grades high if I want to go to med school and football practice is a bear.”

“Yeah,” the other smiled. “I can understand. Still, I’m hoping to go pro one day.”

“Cool.”

Ryan could see Kevin glancing nervously between him and Joey, apparently regretting his involvement in making things tense. He really didn’t mind it though. He knew he had a lot of bad history with the small blonde and Kevin couldn’t really be blamed for having held a grudge.

“Were you any good?”

“I was before I graduated,” Ryan grinned. “But I haven’t really played all summer. What with getting ready for school and helping Matt and Brian get ready for their move and all.”

“You’re too skinny to be a lineman,” Joe speculated aloud. “Quarterback?”

“Matt’s position. I was a receiver.”

“Ah.”

“You’re too big to be a quarterback,” Ryan shot back with a teasing smile.

“My buddy, Trent, held that spot,” Joey grinned back proudly. “Best damn quarterback you’ve ever seen!”

“You’ve never seen Matt.”

“Touché.”

“Uh, Joey?” Kevin asked uncertainly. The redhead looked his way. “I may have been harsh when I told you about Ryan. Everything’s cool.”

“It is?” Joe looked skeptical.

“Yeah.”

“Just like that?”

“As I said, I may have exaggerated,” the small blonde sighed. “Brian wouldn’t have made it through the last few months of school without him, and I think that makes up for what he used to do.”

“No it doesn’t.”

Everyone turned to look at Ryan after he said that. He calmly sipped is Coke and regarded the menu.

“Um,” Jason prompted.

“Um, nothing,” Ryan sighed and put the menu down. “Kevin was right. Matt and I were both assholes to Brian, and Kevin and I used to scuffle every so often, too. It was the typical ‘I’m a senior and a jock, I can do what I want’ syndrome and I deserve every ounce of Kevin’s irritation.”

“No,” the small blonde insisted. “You’ve made up for it. Brian’s much better off for having been around you.”

“That’s true to some extent,” Ryan shrugged. “He’s much better off for having Matt. But no matter how many times I helped him, it doesn’t make up for what I did.” The older boy waved off another interruption from Kevin. “I know what you’re about to say and your brother’s said it a million times, but I’m the one who has to decide when my atonement ends. And it’s not going to be soon.”

“Geez, man,” Joe frowned. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“When Brian starts feeling like a normal person, maybe then I’ll let up,” Ryan grimaced. “Until then, I’m still pissed at myself.”

The three others fell silent as they contemplated the conversation. Nobody seemed to agree with Ryan, but they weren’t going to force the issue. All three silently watched the passersby as they waited for Joe’s girlfriend and two others to arrive.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to get you all down,” Ryan smiled. “Liven up or your friends will think I’m a dud and no one will want to hang out with me.

“You haven’t met Randy,” Joe laughed. “He’d consider a dud a personal challenge.”

“Pretty much like you?” Jason quipped with a grin.

“Exactly like me,” Joe said turning his eyes back to Ryan.

---------------------------------------------

“So, do you still think Ryan’s a bad guy?” Jason asked later that night in bed.

The lights were out and they lay in their new full-size bed. Gina hadn’t made a fuss when Jason asked her if he could buy one. She merely handed him the sales flyer for the local mattress store. It always amazed him how open his relationship was with his sister. She’d been more like a mother than anything else, but she wasn’t like a typical overbearing parent. She trusted him to know what was best for his life. And Kevin was just that.

“No, but now I think he may need a self-image adjustment,” the small blonde mused, curling into Jason’s side.

The taller boy grinned and tightened an arm around him.

“I didn’t think he’d still be so pissed at himself over it all,” Kevin went on. “Do you think it’s my fault?”

“Why would it be your fault?”

Kevin sighed beside him and Jason became a little worried. He pulled his lover onto his chest and looked into his shadowed eyes as the night attempted to hide them. Kevin wore a guilty expression as he silently watched him.

“Why, Kev?”

“It’s just that I was the one holding the grudges against him and Matt, not Brian,” the blonde mumbled. “I feel like maybe I had something to do with his problem.”

Jason reached a hand up to play with some of Kevin’s long blonde locks. He knew his lover still had no idea just how beautiful he was and he had to tamp down the stirrings he felt to help Kevin deal with this.

“You didn’t, babe, how could you?” Jason reasoned. “Before today, he hasn’t spoken to you since you left Cali.”

“But Brian never . . .”

“No, I’m sure Brian never said anything to make him feel that way either,” Jason smiled softly. “This is coming from inside of him. His own personal demons he’s wrestling with. And I’m not sure he’s just dealing with the guilt of pushing Brian around either.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not really that sure myself,” Jason shrugged. “I just get the feeling that he’s going through more than one crisis right now.”

Kevin chewed on his lip while he thought that over, and it was driving Jason crazy just watching it, yet he remained as still as possible.

“So how can we help him?” the small blonde finally asked leaning into Jason’s body.

“I’m not sure we can, sweets,” Jason pecked him on the lips. “He’s got to come to terms with it himself.”

“I guess,” Kevin sighed again. He leaned up and captured his tall lover’s lips in a slow, lazy kiss, running the tip of his tongue along Jason’s teeth. “But do you also get the feeling that Joey isn’t going to just sit back and let Ryan deal?”

“Yeah,” Jason’s voice hitched as Kevin’s small hands began to roam his body. “But I think he needs a new project now that Trent’s in Boston.”

“I guess,” Kevin began to rain kisses all over Jason’s neck and chest while the taller boy shuddered in anticipation. The blonde boy’s tongue darted here and there tasting Jason’s nipples and skin.

“Did I tell you Trent left me a voicemail?” the small blonde suddenly asked looking up.

Jason groaned at the mischievous look shining in Kevin’s eyes. He knew exactly how to torture his lover.

“No,” Jason bit out hoarsely. “How is he?”

“Good,” Kevin chirped, resting his chin on his folded hands on Jason’s chest. “He said he went out to dinner with Matt and Brian, and that Brian eats even more than me. Can you believe that?”

“Not really, but then again, he is related to you.”

“Something wrong, Jay?” he quirked an eyebrow curiously.

“No,” Jason was fighting not to lose his control. “Why do you ask?”

“You sound like you just ate sandpaper and your cock is poking my belly.”

Screw this, the tall boy thought to himself, I can’t last much longer from all of this anticipation and he looks like he’s got all the time in the world.

“You’re the one who won’t finish what he started,” he growled back at his small lover.

“Who said I wasn’t going to finish?” Kevin looked nonplussed. “I’m just warming you up.”

Kevin grinned wickedly as he resumed his oral explorations, darting his tongue into Jason’s naval and making the taller boy whimper and writhe on the bed.

“Who’s the girl now?” Kevin whispered as his mouth enclosed Jason’s shaft and he suddenly sucked hard, leaving Jason no opportunity to answer as he bucked and moaned, giving in to his lover’s gentle but intimate touch.