Take Me Away

Summary: Shandaar and Kieran finally made it back to Kadessa Castle, but their story isn’t over yet.

Author’s Notes: Oh wow I’ve made a lighter chapter! However, trust me when I say that Shandaar hasn’t seen it all – he’s got some more to go through. I’m actually starting to feel sorry for him; I’m going to be treating him like a yo-yo until the end of the story… up, down, up, down, up down.

Take Me Away
Chapter 22 – Take Me Back

It took one more week before the caravan reached Kadessa Castle. Its occupants were exhausted and hungry even though they had stopped in villages to get food and water. With Shandaar with them, it had been rather easy to get the necessary products, although some doubted the Kadessan prince was –really- in their country – they might have known about the castle’s reluctance in letting him out on his own. During the travel, Kieran kept quiet about Dagmar and Raya’s death circumstances. Especially Raya, since the prince who was the one responsible.

Seeing him break down was hard on Kieran. According to Shandaar, he had almost no memories of the whole thing. Kieran hadn’t mentioned the dragon out of fear he would associate the deaths and his powers.

Shandaar dreaded coming back. Oh how the entire council would would be mad when they hear the truth! That he had ran away to satisfy his own desires of being free, instead of staying at the castle for his people’s well-being. They would be furious, and maybe go as far as executing him… Enough running away, he had to tell them the whole thing. That he never wanted to marry. That he wanted to be with Kieran. That he hated being confined to the castle.

His head down, he thought about how he would say it all. He didn’t even notice the caravan stopping and Kieran walking to him, holding his hand out. It was only after a light snap of his fingers that he got back to reality. With all of what happened, he had almost forgot about the four days spent in “hell”… but suddenly, it came back to him. He didn’t say anything as he grabbed Kieran’s hand and pulled himself up, but his look told everything. He was still hurt, but not physically. The wounds from his fall weeks ago had completely healed. No more limping, no more crying because of the pain. He even felt good. Mentally, however, he was far from being okay. Always thinking, worrying, ups and downs… he wanted to get better. Thankfully, Kieran was by his side. If it hadn’t been for the older man, he’d have died or killed himself.

So many people had gathered at the castle’s gates despite the heavy snow. They were dressed in winter gear; deer and ferret fur for most of them. Even the poor had shown up, which made Shandaar quite uncomfortable. Why did these people leave their homes to come and see him after what he had done? But no matter if he was hurt or uncomfortable, he had to let his people know he was alright. This required some acting skills. As he got out of the vehicle, he raised his head up high and smiled at the men and women who had gathered around; some were touching him, children wanted to be held by him – he did carry a little girl for a short time before giving them back to her father.

His new bodyguard stood by his side, pushing away a few women who wanted to tear his clothes off his body. ‘They don’t realize what they’re missing. “Move out, move out!” he shouted, pushing even more. Determined little ladies they were. Did Ethan do his job like that? For once, he doubted his abilities. He had failed to protect Shandaar a few times, and times he should have constantly been by his side. On the other hand, he didn’t want be like Ethan, as he seemed too protective. There was a middle to this; and he made sure he’d find it.

The castle’s gates were closed right behind the second army group – the first one was in front of him. Once inside, the prince was lead to the throne room. There were no formalities, no audience requested. After all, the Queen was aware he was back. Walking through the main hall reminded him he was at home… at home. He had missed the white walls, the crystal chandeliers that hovered from the ceiling, the paintings of his ancestors, his own living quarters. Except the council meetings.

And his mother. He had never been happier to get back to her. She might not have always been there for him when he needed it, but she was still his birth mother and he felt attached to her. As he kneeled in front of her – as usual – he was surprised to see her running so she could hug him. “Oh my son! You are alive!” She looked so tired yet relieved to see her little baby coming back home. “I was worried you had been killed… I could not have survived this…”

She hugged him again before backing off and looking at the men who had followed him, especially Kieran. She smiled, blinking tears away from her sky blue eyes. “Thank you… thank you for bringing him back. You shall be rewarded, all of you who helped. As for you, Sir Surkhang, I have heard that you have protected my son all this time. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, and such bravery will not be gone unnoticed. Ask me what you want, and I will give to you.”

The first thing that popped in his mind was “Your son’s hand”, but he knew he couldn’t ask for such a thing. Before he could say anything, Shandaar spoke up for him.

“Let him be my new bodyguard, Mother. That is all I am asking for.”

The tall woman sent a quick look to the man, who smiled. Nothing would be better than spend all of his time beside his lover. “If it is Shandaar’s will, then it is my will as well. I want to be his bodyguard” he added, confident.

“Granted.” This simple statement made the prince’s eyes glitter in excitement. With Kieran, he’d never, ever be in danger anymore. “I believe you are the perfect man for this task, as I know you very well. You have been a friend of the Prince for a long time, and you know him better than I do. I leave him in your hands, knowing he will be safe. Thank you, Sir Surkhang.” She marked a short pause and went back to her throne before ending her speech. “For now, you may go lead the Prince back to his chambers. He must be exhausted. Sir Surkhang, you will have full access to Ethan Darby’s apartments, which are just beside Shandaar’s. You will be provided more training if needed, but I believe you are a capable young man, and will learn quickly. If you have any questions, ask Lady Anki – she is the head of the army, in replacement of Sir Darby.”

If she hadn’t been back on the throne, the silver-haired swordsman would have hugged her again. “Thank you, Mother. I will be eternally grateful.”

“When you will have rested, you will meet your wife-to-be, my Prince. I know it is early, considering you must have had a horrible time with those who kidnapped you. However, the kingdom of Renken has been on the edge for months, and I feel that if we do not take care of this anytime soon, we will be attacked by them. With our effectives down, it would not be wise. We will schedule a wedding date once you have met her. For now, please take some rest. And the same goes to the knights who have come back with Prince Shandaar. Dismissed.”

Everyone bowed at the same time before leaving the room, except the usual queen’s bodyguards. Having come many times before, Kieran knew exactly where to go. For tonight, however, he wouldn’t leave Shandaar alone. Or he’d fake it. He would go to bed as normal, and join his lover a few hours after.

“Anything special that you want Shan?” Kieran asked, closing the door behind him.

The first thing the youth did was throw himself on the bed. What a wonderful feeling it was to be back home, despite his whole life would be changed by tomorrow. He would meet his wife… and he felt bad about this. He felt bad about leaving Kieran for someone else. Although this time, he wouldn’t run away from his duties. He’d have to deal with the consequences of this all. “You to come and join me in bed. I want to sleep, but I’ll be truthful and say I’m a bit scared…”

The adventurer-bodyguard smiled and walked to the bed, settling down beside the younger man, wrapping his arms around the slightly smaller frame. “I bet you’re nervous about meeting Princess Hawa. I’ve heard about her before, they say she’s a really beautiful and nice young woman.” He was about to add the possibility of the two of them falling in love, but once again, he would end up scaring Shandaar and himself at the same time. “I hope you two get along.”

“Me too… but I’m afraid. I’m afraid that we won’t be together anymore. That it’ll drive us apart” Shandaar stated, his voice shaking slightly. He lifted himself on his right arm in order to look at his boyfriend, hovering above him.

“You know, there’s another reason why I wanted to become your bodyguard.” Kieran’s hand ran through the silver hair, pushing the bangs out of the tearful blue eyes. “Just as Ethan did, I’m going to be around you much more than your own wife. We will –not- be separated. You have a different living quarters than her. But what I want you to do is do what you’re supposed to do for the people before you do it for me. I’m not as important than what… twenty million people throughout Kadessa? But I assure you that you will not be alone in this. I’ll support everything you do. Because that’s what true love is.” The hand lowered on his cheek before landing on his shoulder, gently rubbing it in a compassionate manner.

Shandaar went back to his lover’s side, resting his head on man’s chest and closing his eyes. He wanted to sleep with Kieran by his side – even if the nightmares came back, he knew he had someone to go to.

-

The prince woke up hours later. As soon as he did, he noticed that he was alone and for a moment, he wondered what had happened to Kieran. The shower was running in his living quarters – everything was fine. The youth shifted on his right side, staring at the bathroom door. He missed the times when he would join his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around the naked body and grinding against it. The nights spent in the bed as they made love or simply cuddled… there was the source of Shandaar’s frustrations. He longed to have a normal sexual life, but he knew if he gave a try at it now, he’d recall his three or four days of hell. He hated himself for being so weak.

‘I can’t spend my life like this’ he thought, getting off the bed and walking to his wardrobe, taking his favourite clothes out of it. He highly doubted he’d wear armor this morning. When Kieran would be out of the shower, it would be his turn. ‘I’m the son of a fighter. I’m a fighter as well. I –will- get over this. I won’t do it only for Kieran, but for myself.’ This sudden change of attitude – a positive attitude – gave him confidence and made him feel better.

Would he really do it? Would everything go smoothly? No, of course not. Shandaar sat on the bed, his head up high, trying to figure a way out of this. One day he’d have to face his fears. He would need to take it smooth or everything would crumble again. A step-by-step approach, not the full immersion. For his own good, he had to learn to overcome his difficulties.

The bathroom door opened, revealing a half-naked, very good-looking Kieran. His black hair was still wet and slightly spiked up. The brown eyes shone under the late afternoon light. Him too had thought it all over. It was obvious the heir to the throne wouldn’t let things go downhill too long, but he wondered if everything would go fine… after all, there had been deaths, and Shandaar had been tortured for days. How could he get over it so fast? He’d give him the time. He was ready to spend all of his days and nights in his company, comforting him after nightmares or simply listen to what he had to say. Yet he had to admit it was a nice change to see the silver-haired youth with a smile on his face; it made him smile as well.

“Good afternoon, Sir Surkhang” Shandaar greeted his bodyguard by getting off the bed, walking to him and giving him a hug. “I’ve decided I’ve had enough of wallowing in self-pity. I want my old life back, and I will get it. I know I’ll need help, and that it won’t be easy… but I want to do it.”

“Isn’t that a nice thing to hear” Kieran stated, grinning. “Well if you want to talk things over and want someone by your side, I’ll be there. I’ll always be beside you and I won’t let you down. But I knew one day you’d say something like that.” He took a short pause before taking a step away from the youth and looking him over. “If I may suggest something to His Majesty, is that He would take a shower and then do whatever He feels like doing.”

The statement made Shandaar giggle. It always amused him to hear Kieran treat him like what he was really – a prince. It had never been in his habits and would probably never be. The mocking tone was though. “Good Sir, I will indeed take my shower, then I will go meet my wife.” He stopped for a second, wondering how he could have said that on such a happy tone, and opened the bathroom door. Steamy. “I want you to be present though… I have to admit I’m a bit scared in all of this…”

“I understand. I’ll go with you.” The bodyguard kissed his childhood friend on the cheek and handed him his clothes. “You’ll need those.”

“Thank you… I’ve said this a few times, but you’re such an angel.”

Kieran scoffed, a grin strapped on his face. “Me? An angel? Ha, you have no idea of what I was thinking in the shower.”

The thought disturbed Shandaar. Why did he need to be affected by what others thought? He guessed it meant that Kieran still found him attractive… that was a very good thing. But still, sex was an issue, and he felt as he would have a hard time getting over it. “Alright. It won’t be long.”

-

In the hall, Princess Hawa waited. Sitting on a comfortable chair in the guest quarters, she wore a pale blue dress that clashed with her long, deep blue hair. For the occasion, it was arranged into a single braid. She didn’t expect to see all the men dropping at her feet and praying the beauty goddess for such a gift, but she wasn’t surprised when it happened. Would the prince do the same? After all, she had heard he was quite the handsome gentleman. The only things she was scared off were that she wouldn’t be a good wife and that her husband would be as tyrannical as her own father. That she was loved by this man or not, it didn’t matter. She had agreed to marry him as long as the war threats would stop.

That didn’t mean, however, she wouldn’t learn to love Shandaar.

She only had seen him on a portrait she was provided. She found him quite attractive; pale flawless skin, silver hair that went a bit above his shoulders, shiny sky blue eyes and a smile that probably killed more than one lady. He seemed gentle and calm… but that was the general way of how portraits were done. Deeply in her thoughts, she didn’t even hear the door opening behind her.

“The Prince requests an audience with you, Princess” said a man with short, spiked black hair – probably the prince’s bodyguard.

Hawa smiled at the man and got up from the chair, readying herself. She was quite nervous, feeling the tension building in her legs. Maybe she’d have to sit back down in the end…

A short moment after, the prince came in. His dark green outfit made his face look even paler than he really was and judging by his hair, he had probably just exited the shower. He was fairly tall, and his voice was deep and soft as he spoke. “I am deeply sorry to show up under such a short notice, Princess” he began, bowing in front of her. “Yet under the circumstances, I had very little choice.”

“I understand completely, Prince Shandaar. Please have a seat, you must be exhausted. I have heard of what happened to you… I even heard you were tortured. I am glad to see you are fine.”

She sounded truly concerned for his safety. And if she had been in the same situation, the man would have felt the same. ‘Tell me she’s not really in love with me, please… the last thing I want to do is to hurt her’ he mentally pleaded as he placed a kiss on her hand. ‘And tell me she’ll be happy…’ “Thank you. Please, sit down as well.”

The woman obeyed and sat back on the armchair, trying to analyze him. He didn’t sound very controlling so far, thank heavens. She’d have to meet him alone, without any guards around to see his true personality. Or maybe it could take years to show.

Kieran, for his part, stood beside his prince, his hand on the back of the chair. She didn’t seem so bad, although he didn’t find her attractive. She was, however, very pretty.. He preferred Shandaar over her. It didn’t trigger much jealousy; they had been together for such a long time that he barely could see Shandaar loving someone else. He had male and female friends in the castle, yet Kieran had no problem whatsoever with it. But this was different. The prince would have to have kids… so he’d need to have sex with her. ‘Poor Shannie. It’s not gonna be easy for you either.’

Little background information was exchanged. Both were from royalty and probably had led similar lives. Pressure was hard on the women, maybe harder than on men. They were the ones expected to look after the kingdom or empire when their husbands were gone in other countries, insane or dead; some other countries were led by women at first, men came as a second. Some raised their own kids, while others barely saw them growing up – like it was for Shandaar. His father had been more present in his life, as he was the one that first taught him how to fight with a sword. As for the rest, the prince had grown up on his own with the supervision of nannies and Ethan.

And Kieran had sometimes wondered why the prince was attracted to men… now he had his answer.

The two remaining youths were discussing literature. At least they had a point in common; on that part, Kieran was completely at loss. During their long trip, especially during the repetitive landscapes, Shandaar had complained about the lack of books, saying on how he should have brought more. Kieran was used to it and didn’t fully understand the need to be occupied at all times. That’s what trips were for: escaping, discovering new places. Not to read about them in a book.

All in all, he was glad that they could have a friendship going on. He didn’t want their wedding to be a pain. No one deserved that.

“No, I have not read this one. I shall, though, after I heard such a good review about it.” Hawa smiled, obviously happy about what the prince had babbled about.

‘If a friendship with her can make you happier, it’ll make me happier as well’ he thought, observing them. They were laughing.

Moments after, the three of them were talking lively, with little formalities. It was the princess who had requested it, since they were going to spend a lot of time together. Her own bodyguard, another woman, had different duties than Kieran. She wasn’t supposed to be around the princess as much as Kieran had to for Shandaar, yet as she spoke, they mentioned they were very good friends as well; that “such a bond couldn’t be established without trust”, to which the silver-haired man agreed whole-heartily, with a slight wink at Kieran.

“I should leave you alone now. I have bothered you enough for the day. I look forward to a second meeting” the prince said, smiling sweetly. “Kieran, will you take me back to my quarters?”

“Of course. Have a good evening, princess” the bodyguard said, walking to the door and opening it so Shandaar could exit. “It was a pleasure and I will see you again.”

-

Back in his room, Shandaar dragged his friend to one of the chairs and sat on him, happier than he had thought he would be. “I’m somewhat amazed that you haven’t been jealous…”

“Just as I’m surprised you didn’t break down in front of her” the raven-haired man added, stroking the silver hair in front of him. “You two seem to get along fine. But I’ll admit, sometimes I’m afraid that you’ll fall for her. I know I shouldn’t be. You’ve met others, you hang out with others and I’m not jealous normally… but in this case, I can’t help to think she’s going to be your wife. Your –wife-. It’s scary, but I bet it’s even worse for you.” He felt guilty for being selfish at this point, but he was used not to sharing him… this would be different. “I won’t leave you unless you tell me to.”

“And I won’t. Don’t worry about it. You’ve been so good to me all these years, I wouldn’t be able to let go of you. She’s nice indeed, but I will always know her less than I know you. As retty as she is, I’m by no way physically attracted to her.” The prince frowned as he said the last sentence, as if he found the idea of him being attracted to a woman was disgusting. “I prefer them very manly. All man, I should say.”

Kieran laughed and this time, messed Shandaar’s hair lovingly, then kissed him on the neck. “Yeah, you better say that.” The kisses spread further, going as far as he could. His hands started to roam on the chest, and weren’t pushed back. He took this as a sign and lifted the younger man in his arms, cackling as he made his way for the bed. He knew he had to be careful, as if he went too far too fast, he’d be pushed away… so no hands below the belt.

He gently laid the prince on his back, climbing on top in order to kiss him deeply, keeping his hands on the shoulders and waist. He hoped he wouldn’t go too far without realizing it, or that his lover was too scared to say something. He stopped for a moment, eyeing the man.

Shandaar’s eyes were somewhat distant as he looked at him. If earlier he had been giggling, now he was quiet. Immediately, the older man got off and lied beside him. “You’re not ready yet, are you?”

The answer he had was a shake of the head. Everything was coming back to him. At least Kieran hadn’t tried to take his clothes off.

“It’s alright, I understand. I doubt I be would too. Take your time and when you feel like going further, I will.”

Shandaar nodded sadly. He felt guilty again, and to prove he was at least comfortable with the physical contact, put his head back on Kieran’s chest, his body wrapped on the other’s side. He didn’t want to let go of him, ever.

~ TBC ~