Take Me From This Pain, Kevin's story

“Okay, when he gets here, be nice,” Jason instructed as Kevin sat moodily on the couch with his arms tightly crossed. Getting no response, Jason cocked an eyebrow at his lover and sighed. “Kevin.”

“Okay, okay!” the small blonde boy huffed in defeat. “Don’t worry. I won’t insult his newly found delicate sensitivity.”

“Baby,” Jason laughed. “Don’t be like that. I know you’re dying to see him again and find out just why Brian keeps defending him.”

“I’m not THAT curious.”

“Besides, if you’re nice to him now, I’ll be really nice to you later.”

“Like you would dare to be any other way,” Kevin smirked.

Jason would have responded if the doorbell hadn’t rung just then. He trotted over to open the door and Ryan smiled as he walked into the room. Jason noted that the other boy’s dark brown hair was almost as long as his own ebony locks now. Long hair must be really in now on the West Coast, he mused. Ryan removed his sunglasses to reveal his deep brown eyes and Jason grinned back. After all, he didn’t share Kevin’s resentment.

“How was your trip?”

“Not as bad as I thought it would be,” Ryan replied, offering his hand in greeting.

Jason shook it eagerly and shut the door behind them. Kevin hadn’t moved from the couch but his look turned speculative as Ryan walked further into the room.

“Hey, Kevin,” Ryan smiled at the small blonde. “How are you?”

“Doing okay,” Kevin shrugged. “You settled in on campus?”

“Yeah, everything went smooth. My roommate didn’t get here until this morning though, so I had the place to myself last night.”

Kevin nodded noncommittally but Jason could see the curiosity growing. He didn’t scowl at Ryan yet and Jason had the feeling he wasn’t going to either.

“Come on in and sit down,” Kevin finally said moving over on the couch to make room.

“Um, okay.”

Ryan warily sat next to Kevin and let the small blonde look him over while he sent a questioning glance Jason’s way. The other boy could only shrug at the jock’s unasked question as he moved to sit in a chair opposite the couch. Silence reigned for a while as Kevin continued to inspect their guest.

“Okay, what’s on me?” Ryan finally asked.

“Huh?” the small blonde murmured.

“Is it a booger? Do I have a smudge on my face? What’s got you so enthralled?”

“Brian said you were direct,” Kevin laughed. “I have to admit, I was hoping I could still find something about you to hate before you got here. I guess I thought if I couldn’t hold a grudge against Matt anymore, I could use the aggression on you.”

“Classic transference,” Ryan nodded. “Yeah, I can understand that. I was as guilty as Matt for harassing your brother. In your shoes, I’d probably hate my ass, too.”

“But that’s just it,” Kevin sighed but smiled. “I can’t hate you. You saved Brian from Darren and Gary. You also taught him how to defend himself so that he could stand up to people who picked on him. Yeah, you were once part of his problem but you became his solution, and I actually want to thank you for that.”

Jason watched the exchange and breathed a sigh of relief. Ryan had contacted him after Kevin blew him off and he was hoping he could somehow help the two get along. After all, the poor guy’s best friend was in Boston now and he knew no one else here. And Jason had to admit that he liked the idea of becoming friends with the other boy. It was one more connection to Brian that Kevin would eventually be grateful for.

“No need to thank me,” Ryan waved Kevin off. “I have a lot to atone for. And I genuinely like your brother. He writes amazing stories!”

“He said he was going to show them to you. Did he let you see my pictures, too?”

“Yeah, they were awesome!”

Okay, now Jason was feeling a twinge of jealousy and he didn’t like feeling left out. He watched the two carefully, trying not to overreact.

“I think my newer ones are better,” the small blonde shrugged. “I like to draw knights now.”

He looked over at Jason and shared a secret smile with him. Jason blinked in surprise then smiled back happily. Ryan looked between the two for a second then smiled himself.

“What?” Jason asked.

“Nothing,” the jock said.

“No, really,” Jason replied trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. “I insist.”

“It’s just,” Ryan began sitting forward, “you remind me of Matt and Brian.”

“We do?” Kevin asked in surprise.

Ryan nodded as the amusement danced in his eyes. Jason suddenly laughed as he figured out just what Ryan was trying to say and the small blonde looked at him confused.

“He knows we’re together,” Jason explained before turning back to Ryan. “Did they say anything?”

“No,” he grinned. “They didn’t even want to tell us about themselves. Kept it a secret until Chris and I finally confronted them on our last night together.”

“Ouch,” Jason laughed. “Matt must have been thrilled at that.”

“Actually, he was. Brian almost had a heart attack, though.”

“I’ll bet! My brother never was good at handling surprises.”

“He’s getting better at it though,” the jock said. “I never thought Matt would be able to bring him around before they left for Boston.”

“Bet you never thought Matt was gay,” Kevin returned.

“No, I knew. He just never knew I knew. You know?” Ryan smirked.

“You knew?”

“Yeah. He didn’t know it, but I had his back a bunch of times in the locker room when the guys made jokes. They never actually thought he was, but you know how insensitive us jocks can be.”

“So when he teased other people about it?” Kevin asked.

“It was just a smokescreen,” Ryan replied. “’Methinks the boy doth protest too much,’ and all that.”

“And you’re cool with it?” Jason asked.

“More than cool with it,” Ryan turned to him. “I’m happy as hell Matt found someone to love.” He turned back to Kevin. “And he really does love Brian, Kevin. Trust me when I say that. I never saw him actually want to kill someone before that night he got his hands on Darren Williams after he tried to help your stepfather get Brian. He wanted to do a hell of a lot more than what he actually did do. Brian couldn’t be with anyone who loves him more than Matt does.”

Jason watched his boyfriend squirm uncomfortably on the couch. It seemed like he was just realizing that there was a hell of a lot more to Ryan Trevors than he originally thought. Jason was actually pretty glad about that, too. It would help Kevin understand that people could change and they shouldn’t be dismissed at first glance. He was also thrilled that Ryan had made such strides since they’d last seen him. Brian obviously had that effect on him, though he was sure his lover’s brother was completely oblivious to the fact that he was capable of bringing out the very best in people. That realization may come in time, but if it did, that time was a long way down the road.

“Well, I think I know that now,” Kevin said meekly. “But I’ll probably always worry about Brian. You have to understand, what he went through with Gary? He did that for me. No one, not even you,” he turned to Jason, “can possibly understand how I feel about my brother for sacrificing himself like that. But I won’t try to come between them again. Matt seems to make him happy and if nothing else, my brother deserves to feel happy . . . and safe.”

“So do you, Kevin,” Ryan said quietly. “Hey, I know we used to tangle sometimes back in Cali, but we’re not the same people we were there. I know a lot of the fights you got into were your way of dealing with the guilt you were feeling over what Brian was going through.”

Kevin gaped at Ryan in shock, not knowing how the jock had been able to psychoanalyze him so completely.

“Brian used to look at me that way when I did that to him, too,” Ryan said sitting back in satisfaction. “Welcome to his world.”

Kevin finally closed his mouth and assumed a thoughtful expression. In a few moments, he looked back up at Ryan and smiled, and Jason could see he was coming to a similar conclusion as he himself just had.

“Brian is amazing, isn’t he?” he asked quietly.

“Phenomenal,” Ryan replied. “Too bad we’re having so much trouble getting him to see that.”

“That’s Matt’s job now,” Kevin shrugged and looked back at Jason.

“Okay, how about we take Ryan out to see some sights,” the other boy grinned happily back. “Then we can introduce him to the vagabonds.”

“Joey’s going to have a field day with him.”

“Who’s Joey?” Ryan asked curiously.

“You’ll see,” Kevin sighed dramatically.