To Become

9:44am - Nice

I'm so sorry journal for not writing these past few days! Ryan and I have just been having so much fun together. We talk. Not like simple talks we used to have. These are like real talks. I told him about my friends and school and my family. He told me a little bit about himself, too, but not much. Most of it to leave to the imagination.

Dr. Houle said that I could leave tomorrow and go back! I'm so excited! I really miss Sara and the other girls minus three of them. The only thing that I'm not going to like is that Ryan will be all business again. We won't have these talks. It will also be back to pleasing whatever men come in for me. No more mistakes. Do what we used to. Just lie there and take it. Maybe even tell yourself that you like it. The whole process is degrading anyway. I remember something from when I first got here. "You'll have to get used to having different men inside of you. Don't worry, you'll get used to it in time." I doubt it. That was my answer.

Ryan, I'm still not used to it.