Take Me From This Pain, Kevin's story

Jason paced the floor as he waited for his sister to get back from the store. He and Kevin had decided they would tell her tonight. He was only hoping she would take it well. He was sure she was okay with his being gay, as she said so when he’d that talk with her a year before he’d met Kevin. There were no heated questions or outbursts. She never asked him if he was sure, or if he thought it could be remnants of what his father had done to him. She only hugged him and said whatever his heart told him to do, he should do. It was a relief, as he didn’t know what she would think, her being Catholic and all. But she said she didn’t believe that God would make homosexuals only to doom them for it, and Jason loved her even more for it.

Kevin sat on the couch a few feet away, watching his boyfriend wear the carpet out with his pacing. He was nervous about this, too, not knowing if Gina would try to separate them. He didn’t want to be without Jason now that he had him, in or out of bed. But he knew that if they kept this secret any longer it would begin to erode the relationship they had with her, as well as with each other. The last thing he wanted was for Jason to begin resenting him for causing a rift between him and Gina. He knew this was the only course of action to take. He just prayed he was right.

Funny he would pray, he suddenly thought. He and Brian were both Christian, and yet neither of them had anything to be thankful to faith for. Both of their parents were taken from them and Gary had almost destroyed one of them. And yet, Kevin still believed in faith for some reason. He wasn’t sure how Brian felt about it, but he’d never said anything to indicate he’d stopped believing. Funny thing, faith. It’s about believing that good can happen. Even when nothing but bad does happen. Kevin decided he would have to ponder that some time.

The door opened and Gina came in carrying two heavy grocery bags. Each of the boys quickly came over to grab one and bring it to the kitchen for her.

“You guys in for the night?” she asked curious why they looked so solemn.

“Yeah, Matt and Brian are spending more time with Matt’s dad,” Jason supplied flatly. “You don’t mind, do you? You have a date?”

“No, no,” she laughed. “That’s tomorrow night. How about I whip us up some tacos then?”

“Uh, sounds good, sis.”

Gina lifted an eyebrow at him as she unloaded the grocery bags. She and Kevin put the items away and then she began to dice a large tomato. Both boys watched her while she worked, neither making a move to leave the kitchen.

“Okay, what’s going on?” she finally asked. “I know you two love my cooking, but you never actually stayed to watch the assembly.”

“Um . . .” Jason began. “You see . . .”

Gina nodded encouragingly at her brother. It had been a long time since he’d been this speechless so she figured it was something serious. Jason’s mouth kept moving but nothing came out, so she looked to Kevin for help. The small blonde sighed and seemed to hesitate a moment to gather his nerve before he spoke.

“Jason and I need to tell you something important,” he began, walking over to where Jason stood and latching on to the taller boy’s arm. “We’re just not sure how you’ll feel about it.”

“Go on,” Gina’s curiosity was piqued now. “You’ll never know unless you tell me.”

“Just hear us out before you say anything,” Jason added, finally finding his voice. “I know you’ll have a lot of questions, and I don’t blame you, but wait till we’re done, okay?”

Gina nodded quietly as she bisected the other half of the tomato. Whatever it was, she knew Jason was afraid she would judge him. The last time he’d worn that expression was when he’d told her he was gay. She remembered how scared he was that she would tell him it was just what had happened to him that made him think he was, and that he shouldn’t give into those urges. But she was very accepting of it, knowing that no matter what made it happen, it wasn’t going to go away and that it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. She smiled inwardly as she remembered the relief on his face and the tight hug he’d given her. Well, whatever he had to tell her now, she knew she could take it.

“Kevin and I are in love.”

Okay, except maybe that. Love? How could they be in love? Was Kevin even sure he was gay? This was the first she’d heard of it. Damn, she should have been more attentive to what was going on at home. She knew she had to be very careful in how she handled this, not wanting to scar either boy.

“Are you sure?” she asked softly, looking at Kevin.

“Yes!” Jason replied.

“I’m not judging you,” she clarified to her now-defensive brother. “I just want all of the facts.”

Kevin watched her quietly, knowing it wasn’t Jason’s motives she questioned. He suddenly knew this was going to be a little more difficult than he’d realized.

“I asked you to hear us out,” Jason growled.

“And I am,” she smiled at him. “Please go on.”

Jason scowled at her for a moment before running his hands through his long dark hair. “Look, there isn’t anything else I can think of other than that,” he admitted. “My feelings for him are real, and so are his feelings for me. I thought maybe you’d be happy for us.”

“Oh, I am,” she replied pasting another smile on her face and hoping it reached her eyes. “Really. I didn’t mean to come off like that.”

“You’re sure?” Jason asked skeptically as the phone rang in the living room.

“Positive,” she assured him. “Could you get that?”

Jason nodded and slowly backed out of the room, leaving Kevin and Gina alone.

“I meant are YOU sure,” she said to the small blonde.

“I knew that,” he replied. “And yes, I’m very sure.”

Gina finished cutting the tomato and put her knife down, wiping her hands on a dishcloth. She knew she had to be just as careful with Kevin as Jason, as he’d been through a hell of his own.

“I mean it when I say I’m not judging you, Kevin. But you have to understand, I moved heaven and hell to save my brother and give him a good life.” A tear fell from her eye as she spoke. “It’s not that I think you’re a bad person or that you’re using him. But I can’t stand to see him hurt again. And if you’re not absolutely sure about your sexuality and are just experimenting with him, it could kill him inside this time.”

Kevin’s own eyes started misting up, and he put a hand on hers.

“I’ve loved him for a while now Gina, and I may be young, but I know the value of finding someone like him, who will love me back through anything. This isn’t an experiment and I’m never going to dump him.”

“Never’s a long time,” she said as she wiped her eye with her other hand. “Are you sure you’re really old enough to make that kind of commitment.”

“Without Jason, I have nothing in my life worth living for.”

“Brian,” Gina said simply.

“And he’s how I know exactly where you’re coming from,” Kevin replied without batting an eye. “I worried the same way when he decided to stay with Matt.”

“But Matt . . .”

“Is in love with him,” Kevin finished.

“And you’re okay with trusting him with your brother?” Gina asked.

“Not entirely,” Kevin admitted with a small smile. “But Brian told me he won’t tolerate my interference, so I have to accept it.”

“Do you think Jason would say the same?”

“What do you think?” Kevin laughed.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Gina smiled. “Promise me you won’t hurt him.”

“I promise you I will give him every bit of love I can, how’s that?”

“It’ll do,” she smiled.

“That was Trent,” Jason came jogging back into the room. “Hey, what’s going on in here?”

“Nothing,” Gina grinned. “Just girl talk.”

“Oh, thanks a lot!” Kevin huffed. “How did you know I was the girl?”

“Oh please!” she laughed. “He’s my brother. I know what he’s like.”

“So, we’re okay then?” Jason smiled hopefully.

“Yeah,” Gina nodded as she opened the package of ground beef.

“And you aren’t going to try to make us sleep in separate rooms?” Jason added.

“Good point!” her eyes widened.

“Hey!” both boys exclaimed in unison.

“Kidding!” she laughed again. “It’s not like you won’t sneak off to do that anyway if I do, and you can’t get Kevin pregnant.”

“Again, how did you know I played the girl?” the small blonde took on an irritated expression.

“She knows me,” Jason shrugged and pulled him for a small kiss on the cheek.

Kevin accepted the kiss but his annoyed look didn’t go away.