Original Sin

“Joseph, you know I love you with all my heart,” Lianna took her boyfriend’s face in her hands and looked into his eyes which were lined in black, making them shine even more brightly green than they normally did. “And I love that you care so much about my health and the health of our baby. But if you don’t stop following me around, trying to make me sit down and forcing me to eat and basically being up my ass 24-7, our child is going to be fatherless. Because I am going to kill you.”

Looking into the serious expression on Lianna’s face, only Joseph would be able to read the way her blue eyes were dancing. “Okay,” he conceded with a grin, leaning forward to press his lips softly to Lianna’s. “I’ll try. I’m not making any promises, though. Every time I look at you, I want to take care of you. Because I realize what’s inside you…” With that statement, one of his hands slipped down from Lianna’s waist to run softly over her stomach, which barely had a bump showing from the side.

Feeling her eyes glass over, Lianna gave Joseph a warm smile. “I know,” she whispered, putting her hand over his on her stomach. “I have us inside me.”

At that moment, nothing else mattered to Joseph except the woman in front of him. It meant nothing that there was a room swarming with people all around them – friends, business associates, security guards, fans. He didn’t care that, to outsiders, he and Lianna probably looked completely mismatched – she in a t-shirt and her loosest jeans to compensate for the pregnancy weight gain, appearing completely soft and natural, and he in his performance attire, hair styled, eyeliner smeared, tattoos clearly visible down his arms and even creeping up over his collar line. All that mattered was how good he felt at that moment, with the one girl he had ever truly loved standing in front of him, carrying their child.

“Come on,” Lianna said softly with a smile when Joseph said nothing, choosing to just stare at her and rub her stomach gently. “You guys are due onstage in, like, less than an hour. And you are not acting anything like a rock star right now.”

Nodding in defeat, Joseph tilted his head slightly. “I know,” he replied to Lianna. “I just… it’s hard to concentrate on anything but you right now.”

Even after all the time they had been together, all the wonderful ups and horrendous downs they had experienced, Joseph’s sweet words still managed to bring a lump to Lianna’s throat. “Come on,” she chided. “People came here to see YOU. We’ve barely spoken to anyone else tonight. Tavian and Madison are over in the corner, and Eddie and Sin-” Suddenly, Lianna faltered and began looking around the room. “Wait, Eddie and Sin aren’t here yet, are they?”

This question finally managed to pull Joseph out of his daze a little, and he glanced around the room. “I haven’t seen them,” he admitted, crinkling his eyebrows. “That’s a little weird, unless they’re… unless they got caught up before they left to come here,” he gave Lianna a little grin.

Biting her lip, Lianna looked around the room once more. While it was possible Sin and Eddie were just late, it actually wasn’t like them. Just as she was thinking this, though, Lianna saw Sin walking through the door of the backstage room, showing her pass to the security guard and scanning the room. As her eyes met Lianna’s, Sin gave her a small wave and began moving across the crowded room.

“I wonder where Eddie is,” Joseph gave voice to the words that were going through Lianna’s mind at the moment. “Hey, Sin,” he turned to his friend and pulled her into a hug when she approached.

“Hey guys,” Sin pulled back from Joseph and smiled tentatively at him and Lianna. “It’s a fucking madhouse in here. I guess you guys really have ‘made it’, haven’t you? Sell-outs.”

Lianna could immediately tell from the way Sin’s eyes were darting back and forth, and the speed of her words, even as she jokingly teased Joseph, that she was uncomfortable. And she didn’t like that, considering Eddie was nowhere to be seen. “Hey Sin,” Lianna gave the girl in front of her a smile. “I’m so glad you could make it.”

It was clear from the tone of Lianna’s voice that she wanted to ask where Eddie was, but she didn’t want to intrude on Sin’s privacy. “Of course,” Sin kept looking around the room, never meeting Joseph or Lianna’s eyes. “But, um, Eddie couldn’t come. He’s really sorry; he just, um, felt kind of crappy.”

“That’s too bad,” Joseph said, sliding a hand around Lianna’s waist when he felt her tense up beside him. He knew she was concerned about Sin and Eddie, but he also knew that he understood the way Sin worked a lot better than Lianna did. If Sin wanted to talk, she would. Otherwise, pushing her would not be a smart decision. “Well, tell him that next time I see him, he owes the father-to-be a shot.”

“Will do,” Sin finally looked up into Joseph’s eyes and gave him an appreciative nod. It meant a lot to her that he understood how she worked; she wasn’t ready yet to talk to anyone about why Eddie wasn’t there tonight. “Well, in the meantime, I think I’m going to grab a beer and say hello to Tavian and Madison. I’ll see you guys a little later. And congratulations again.”

“Thanks,” Lianna said as she watched Sin hurry away across the room towards the fridge in the corner. “Okay, what’s going on?” she turned to Joseph, a small frown on her lips. She knew that Sin was closer to Joseph than she was to most people, and she also knew that he had quickly steered the conversation away from any discussion of Eddie’s whereabouts. “Is everything okay?”

“Lee, I’m Sin’s friend,” Joseph smirked and pulled Lianna a bit closer to him by the waist. “And I could tell she would be uncomfortable talking about stuff right now. But I’m not telepathic. Oof!” Joseph jumped as Lianna lightly punched him in the stomach.

“You always have to be a wiseass, don’t you?” Lianna smirked back at Joseph.

“Always,” Joseph agreed with a grin, his smile softening. “Listen, don’t worry. We don’t know what’s happening; Eddie really may be feeling sick. But if that’s not the case, I can tell you that pushing Sin is the LAST way to get the truth. She has the fight or flight thing down pat, and I don’t want to push her into anything right now…”

“I get you,” Lianna pouted slightly, resting her head against Joseph’s shoulder. “And I know I’m sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong. It’s just… Sin and Eddie are so good together. I just hope nothing gets in the way of their relationship.”

“Nothing?” Joseph raised his eyebrows at Lianna. “Or no one?”

Without thinking, Lianna’s eyes scanned the room quickly in response to Joseph’s question. Finding Zip sitting on a couch across the room, a girl by his side that he was completely ignoring and his eyes locked on Sin, Lianna sighed. “Fine,” she turned back towards Joseph with a grimace. “I am a nosy, busybody, old pregnant lady. I admit it. I just don’t like the idea of Sin and Eddie possibly having problems, and her being here alone, with Zip looking at her like that…”

Kissing Lianna’s forehead, Joseph looked down at her. “I know you want the best for everyone,” he said, the admiration evident in his voice. “But they are all grownups. Sin and Eddie and Zip… well, Sin and Eddie are, at least.”

Chuckling a little, Lianna looked up into Joseph’s adoring eyes. “You’re going to be a great dad,” she told him softly.

”I’m going to do everything in my power to,” Joseph promised Lianna, leaning down to kiss her softly. “And you are going to be a great mom. Over-concerned and over-protective and over-involved… but so loving and so sweet and so… incredibly sexy,” he added with a grin, reaching around to grab Lianna’s ass and squeeze, making her jump.

Laughing in surprise, Lianna nodded. “We’ll be good – very good,” she said knowingly as she looked up into Joseph’s loving eyes. “I just hope everyone else will be, too.”

Kissing her temple tenderly, Joseph nodded. “Me too,” he agreed with Lianna. “But we have to let them all figure that out for themselves, right?”

“Right,” Lianna said, not sounding very convincing to either herself or Joseph.

-----

“Where’s Eddie?” Madison asked as soon as Sin greeted her and Tavian. “Are you guys fighting or something?”

“Ignore her,” Tavian put his arm around his fiancé’s shoulder and grinned at Sin. “It’s not her fault. I checked the dictionary in our apartment, and apparently the page with the word ‘tact’ on it was ripped out.”

Letting out a sigh, Madison rolled her eyes. “It’s a legitimate question,” she told Tavian, turning then to look at Sin. “You guys have been attached at the hip for the last few months. I just wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”

“Everything’s fine,” Sin forced herself to smile at Madison. “He just wasn’t feeling well, so he stayed home tonight.”

“Weird,” Madison shook her head. “I would have guessed that, even if he was on his deathbed, Eddie would find a way to make it here before letting you come here alone, knowing Zip’s going to be here. OW! You pinched me!” She looked accusingly at Tavian as she pulled herself from his embrace.

Unable to help herself, Sin giggled. She knew Madison meant no harm; she was just an upfront and blunt type of person, which Sin usually appreciated. But right now, what she really appreciated was how well Tavian knew her, and how he was able to read that she would talk about her situation only if and when she felt ready.

“Well, before this turns into a full-on catfight between you two,” Sin gave Tavian a small grin of thanks. “I’m going to grab a beer. Anyone want?”

“We’re good,” Tavian returned Sin’s grin. “We’ll catch up with you when the band goes on.” Watching Sin walk towards the refrigerator, he then turned to look down at Madison. At that moment, she had her arms crossed over her chest and a look of annoyance in her eyes.

“Why did you pinch me?” Madison asked, an expression of hurt evident on her face.

“I’m sorry,” Tavian said genuinely, reaching for Madison. She froze a little at his touch, but didn’t pull back, so he moved closer to her, encircling her waist in his arms. “I shouldn’t have pinched you. I just… the subject needed to be changed. Sin isn’t someone who talks unless she wants to, and if she’s forced to talk about something she doesn’t want to talk about, she can get… difficult. I just didn’t want things to get uncomfortable for her, or for you. Or, honestly, for me.”

Powerless to stop herself, Madison felt the corners of her mouth turning up. In defeat, she reached her arms around Tavian’s neck and let him pull her close. “Well, I guess I get that,” she told him, smiling widely now. “But that pinch hurt. You are going to have to make me feel VERY good later to make up for that.”

Letting a little growl escape from the back of his throat, Tavian brought his mouth down to meet Madison in a warm, deep kiss. “You are insatiable, woman,” he grinned at her as he pulled back.

“I never insinuated I was anything but,” Madison grinned up at Tavian, pulling his head down for another loving, intimate kiss.

-----

Sin had pulled a beer from the fridge and was closing the door when she heard Zip’s voice come from behind her, recognizing it without having to see him.

”Hey.”

Turning around, Sin swallowed hard and forced herself to give Zip a smile. “Hey,” she responded, concentrating very hard on twisting the cap off the bottle. “How are you doing?”

Leaning against the fridge door, Zip shrugged, his usual unreadable expression on his face. “Same as always,” he told Sin, taking a sip from the beer he had in his own hands. “How are you doing?”

”Good,” Sin tried to sound upbeat as she looked up into Zip’s dark eyes. “Really good.”

Staring straight into Sin’s grey eyes, Zip nodded. “I’m glad to hear that,” he told her, his voice more gentle than it usually was.

For the next minute, they stood in what felt to Sin to be excruciating silence. “Well, you guys are due on soon, right?” Sin finally said lamely, wanting anything but for the insufferable quiet to continue. The room had been filled with so much noise and activity, it seemed to just highlight that no words were being spoken between Sin and Zip.

“You look great tonight,” Zip said, ignoring Sin’s idle question. “Where’s your boy?”

“Thanks,” Sin looked down at the floor, trying to figure out what to say. She had tried to think of something to say to Zip during her whole cab ride to the show – something she could say to him to make him understand how deeply her feelings for Eddie ran – but she couldn’t figure out anything. Chewing on her bottom lip, she watched as Zip reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, removing one and putting it between his lips. Just as he was about to light it, a voice rang out across the room.

“Outside, Zip!” Joseph yelled from across the crowded room. “I’m not trying to be a dick, but Lianna is pregnant…”

Looking over towards Joseph, Zip saw that Lianna had begun blushing at her boyfriend’s overprotectiveness. “My bad,” he admitted, taking the cigarette from his mouth. “Sorry, Lianna. I’ll try to remember next time.” Turning towards Sin, he held out the cigarette that had just been resting between his lips. “Want to join me?” he asked, trying not to let any sign of hope or uneasiness show through his words.

Looking at the cigarette, Sin let out a soft sigh and reached for it. “What the hell,” she said in such a low voice, Zip barely heard her. “Where should we go?”

“There’s a side exit down the hallway,” Zip motioned towards the door. “Nobody is allowed back there except for the band.”

Nodding, Sin just followed Zip out the door and down the hall. ‘This is why you came tonight,’ she reminded herself silently. ‘Eddie asked you to, and he wants you to talk to Zip – to get some sort of closure or something. Fuck, I hate this shit.’

-----

“Way to go!” Lianna said sarcastically, hitting Joseph hard on the arm.

”Ow!” Joseph exclaimed. “Damn, Lianna. I wasn’t about to let someone smoke around you. You’re three months pregnant!”

“I would have rather been the one to go outside,” Lianna crossed her arms and glared at Joseph. “Rather than send Sin and Zip out there alone to talk about God knows what, to do God knows what-“

“Calm down,” Joseph’s face suddenly grew softer as he held Lianna’s shoulders gently in his hands and looking into her worried eyes. “Letting Sin and Zip go out for a cigarette isn’t going to end Sin and Eddie’s relationship. If anything, I think the two of them NEED to talk.”

Grumbling incoherently for a moment, Lianna looked at the floor. “Fine,” she begrudgingly agreed before looking back up at Joseph with concern and determination in her eyes. “But if anything bad happens between Sin and Eddie, my worry about both of them combined with pregnancy hormones is going to make the next six months a living hell for you. Just be warned.”

Chuckling, Joseph pulled Lianna to him. “Consider me warned,” he murmured into her hair. “As long as you and the baby aren’t around anything unhealthy like cigarette smoke, I’m willing to take the chance at being berated for the next six months.”

Pulling back, Lianna looked up into Joseph’s eyes and pouted. “Can you stop that?” she asked him.

”Stop what?”

“Stop saying things that make you the greatest guy in the world,” Lianna bit her bottom lip momentarily. “When all I want is to yell at you at the moment.”

”I love you, Lee,” Joseph smirked. “But I can’t help it. Everything good about me only came through when I got together with you. And I plan to be with you forever, so you’re going to have to learn to start living with Joseph the Nice Guy instead of Joey the Asshole.”

”I guess I can learn to live with that,” Lianna’s face softened as she looked up at Joseph. “In truth, I guess I can live with that and be the happiest woman in the world.”

-----

Sin was halfway through her cigarette and no words had yet to be spoken since she and Zip gotten outside, except for when she said “thanks” when he lit her cigarette.

“So this tour is going to be huge, huh?” Sin finally said, wanting to fill the empty space. “The album did great. I hear you guys are selling out all across the country…”

Shrugging, Zip took a deep drag of his cigarette and let it out slowly. “I guess so,” he finally responded. “It’s hard to feel excited, though. This feels like the end of an era, really. But I guess going out with a bang isn’t the worst thing in the world.”

Crinkling her forehead, Sin tried to understand what the hell Zip was talking about. “The end?” she asked. “What do you mean by that?”

Looking up towards the sky, Zip noted – as he often did – that you could never see the stars in the New York City night. “It’s just something that hit me,” he said softly. “With Lianna pregnant, Joey’s probably not going to want to tour much after this. And everyone knows he’s the heart of this band. I’m the lead singer, but without Joey… Broken Dynamite couldn’t exist without him. The band would have a much easier time replacing any other member – especially me – but not Joey. So this is probably it.”

Watching Zip’s expression, which betrayed his feelings of loss and nervousness and self-doubt, Sin realized she had never seen him as vulnerable as he was being at that moment. And then she realized something even more startling – he was allowing her to see him this way. Zip never liked to let anyone see him as anything but cool and in control, but right now… Her heart went out to him.

“None of that’s true,” Sin told Zip softly, watching an expression of hopelessness cross his face, something she was sure she had never seen there before. “First of all, you don’t know what Joseph’s going to do,” she tried to convince him. “Secondly, Joseph is NOT Broken Dynamite. And even if he DOES leave the band… and even if the band DOES break up… Zip, you’re a really talented guy. That wouldn’t be the end for you.”

Zip didn’t respond to anything Sin said; he just continued staring into the starless sky. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh and turned his eyes on Sin. “You never answered my question earlier,” he finally said. “Where’s your boy tonight?”

Leaning against the brick building, Sin let out a sigh of her own. “Eddie is at home,” she told Zip, knowing he was staring at her with those penetrating black-brown eyes and feeling unable to meet that intrusive gaze. “He thought I should come here alone tonight.”

“Why’s that?”

Looking up, Sin was surprised to see that the expression in Zip’s eyes wasn’t intrusive at all; he honestly just looked sad. “Eddie thought it would be a good idea that you and I talk. Alone.”

“Trusting guy,” Zip gave Sin a small smile.

“He trusts ME,” Sin said pointedly, smirking back at Zip. “Not you.”

“Smart guy, too,” Zip replied without missing a beat.

Not breaking her contact with the building, Sin rolled from her back to her shoulder until she was facing Zip. “Why do you have to do this?” she asked, not sounding angry like she usually did, but instead sounding hurt. “Why do you have to be like this? Why can’t you just be happy for me? Why can’t we just be friends?”

“Because I love you,” Zip told Sin simply, his eyes moving down in an uncharacteristic display of shyness. “I love you, and I want to be with you.”

“Well, even if I believed that,” Sin replied, trying to figure out what she was thinking. “Eddie loves me, too. And he would never hurt me. He only wants what best for me.”

”Then why did he want you to come here alone?” Zip looked back up at Sin, locking his eyes with hers. “If he loves you, why would he put you in a situation with someone who wants to be with you more than anything in the world?”

“That’s just Eddie,” Sin said, frustrated that she couldn’t think of a clearer way to put things. Suddenly, it hit her. “Eddie told me to come here because he wants me to be happy. He said that if you love someone, you want them to be happy, even if it hurts you. He wanted me to come here and figure out what would make me happy. Because he loves me.”

“I love you, too,” Zip kicked the brick building hard with his boot-laden foot, obviously frustrated with his emotions. “And I want you to be happy. But I think I CAN make you happy, if you give me a chance. Please Sin, give me a chance.”

Looking at Zip, Sin could feel tears stinging at her eyes. It was obvious that he was being sincere. It was clear that the things he was saying weren’t a bunch of lines stemming from his ego. The expression he was looking at her with was the one that she had lived for four years ago – the one that came so rarely at intimate moments between her and Zip, after sex when they would be lying in bed together silently and he would just reach over and stroke her arm. It was the expression he had given to her the entire last weekend they had spent together. It was real. It was an expression of love.

And that only made things harder for Sin at that moment.

-----

Flipping through the channels, Eddie threw the remote down on the couch in frustration. “You have to be the dumbest fucking person in the world,” he yelled at himself out loud, sinking back into the couch and looking around the small studio apartment. “Sending her out there alone to be with HIM. What the fuck were you thinking?!?”

From the moment Sin had left the apartment earlier that night, Eddie had a bad feeling growing in his gut. He wasn’t able to concentrate on anything – schoolwork, magazines, television. When his little sister had called to ask about coming to visit him in New York, he had even snapped at her. Only after he promised that he would take her to a Broadway show when she was in town did Sarah stop being quite so angry with Eddie.

“What the hell?” Eddie grumbled to himself, thinking about Sarah. “It’s not like, after tonight, I’m going to have very much to do anyway. I might as well get used to spending my time hanging out with my little sister and anyone else nice enough to spend time with a depressed, lonely, heartbroken ass.”

The sound of his phone ringing made Eddie jump out of his self-pitying thoughts. “Hello?” he spoke into the phone nervously.

”Hey,” Sin’s voice was so soft, Eddie barely recognized.

“Sin? Is everything okay?”

A long pause only made the lump in Eddie’s stomach grow bigger and feel heavier. “Eddie, I have to tell you something, but this is really hard for me to say,” Sin’s voice was quiet as she spoke.

Closing his eyes, Eddie damned himself silently. “Go ahead,” he finally told her.

“This is really something I should do face to face,” Sin sounded incredibly apologetic. “And Eddie, I’m so sorry for being such a fucking coward for doing this over the phone…”

-----

SORRY TO THE READERS FOR THE LONG HIATUS. I AM MOVING ACROSS COUNTRY AT THE END OF THE YEAR, AND I HAD TO TRAVEL DURING THE LAST WEEK TO FIND A HOUSE TO RENT. ANYWAY, I HOPE THIS WASN’T TOO AWFUL A CHAPTER. A FEW PEOPLE HAD MENTIONED THAT THEY WANTED TO SEE MORE JOSEPH AND LIANNA, SO I OBLIGED. HOPE THAT WAS OKAY.

I’LL RESPOND TO REVIEWERS AFTER THE NEXT CHAPTER, AS I AM EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW. BUT JUST KNOW YOUR REVIEWS ARE WHAT KEEP ME HEARTENED AND CONTINUING TO WRITE!