Love, Centre Ring

Part 2


“So you’re here at last,” Reagan called out as Troy entered the secure compound. “I was beginning to wonder if the Master forgot to allocate someone but then thought it more likely the person had skipped out of it if they could have found an excuse!”

“Well, it crossed my mind,” Troy admitted honestly as he drew closer.

Reagan laughed, as he climbed carefully down the step ladder he’d been standing on to meet Troy. He walked with a slight limp from an old injury many years ago. “I don’t know why you all have such a dislike for it.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Troy said grimacing. “Perhaps because shoveling elephant dung for two days straight isn’t exactly anyone’s idea of a good time.”

“Now come on, that’s just a small part of it. Once it’s done, it’s done.”

“Not exactly a ‘small’ part but it’s not so much the shit that’s the problem.”

“Well,” Reagan scratched at the side of his nose. “I guess there is a little truth in that.”

Troy let out a deep sigh, casting a sideways glance towards the older man by his side. “Are you sure you need help today? Can’t you put it off till tomorrow or something?”

Reagan chuckled, brushing back bright orange hair. “You can’t get out of it that easily,” he said. “If you really didn’t want to do it, you shouldn’t have come at all.”

“You’re right,” Troy said mournfully. “I should have just snuck away like Ranford suggested.”

Reagan clapped him on the back with a loud laugh. “You were raised to be too honest! Come on, you may as well get started; that way it will be finished all the quicker.”

“Yeah,” but Troy followed Reagan with a heavy heart as they walked through the main compound towards the large tent set aside for the animal training ring. This was the last chore he wanted to be doing. It wasn’t that working with the animal trainers was a bad thing, although due to the nature of their very different performances he didn’t usually have a great deal to do with them. Despite these differences, he was on fairly good terms with most of them. Most of them. There always had to be an exception.

“Hey, Aaron!” Reagan called out as they neared the back of the large tent, the raised structure of a temporary stage to the right. The rest of the floor area formed the training ring, hard packed dirt layered with straw. The side flaps of the tent were drawn up fully, allowing plenty of light to enter and chasing away shadows so Troy could see the only other person inside pause in his work and turn. Aaron didn’t acknowledge them, waiting silently as they came closer.

“Troy’s going to give us a hand for the next couple of days,” Reagan said, smiling at his youngest trainer. “With you two strong lads, you should have the work finished in no time at all.”

“Leave it to us. We’ll be out of here in no time, right?” Troy said, giving Reagan the thumbs up. He reached out to drape an arm around Aaron’s shoulders, which was immediately slapped away. “Whoa!”

Troy looked over as Aaron stepped away, putting some distance between them, meeting Troy’s eyes directly. “Don’t touch me. It’s… too hot.”

Troy held both hands up before him, making no move to come any closer. “That’s fine, man,” he said, feeling like he had done something very wrong.

“Don’t worry about it, Troy,” Reagan said. “You’ll do fine.” He gave a final smile for Troy and a gentle pat to Aaron’s shoulder, which wasn’t rebuffed, before leaving.

“Uhm…” Troy scratched at the back of his neck, already feeling uncomfortable with just the two of them. This is why he hadn’t wanted to be here. Here was the ‘exception’ right before him – or at least half of the ‘exception’.

“So what do you want me to do first?” he finally asked, shuffling his feet a little, hands pushed into his jeans pockets as he looked around.

Aaron returned to spreading clean straw over the ground. “You can start sweeping from that corner,” he said, keeping his back to Troy.

Troy rolled his eyes but obediently walked over to where a broom was already leaning and began. “So where’s Jubal?” he asked, beginning to sweep. He coughed as his first pass proved too vigorous and sent up a large plume of dust.

Without looking at him, Aaron replied, “Over there.”

Troy peered towards the shadows in the far corner and now made out the large bulk there. “Great,” he muttered to himself. However, he felt reassured by the rope tied to the metal spike. At least the beast was tethered.

He kept sweeping for a little longer, his path taking him closer to the young Indian elephant, different in so many ways apart from the physical from his African peers who made up the team of performing elephants for the circus. Might that be why Jubal was so cantankerous, Troy thought. Because he was different? Perhaps he should try to make friends with the animal?

“I wouldn’t get too close to him,” Aaron’s voice drifted across the tent in warning. “He doesn’t like people much.”

Like his trainer, Troy thought, turning away and returning the way he’d come. Talk about anti-social.

“So how’s your training going?” He raised his voice so Aaron would be able to hear, thinking to make some small talk. The silence had begun to be oppressing.

“Fine,” was the curt response.

Troy swallowed the sharp retort he was tempted to make, instead trying again. “It must be so much easier when it is just you and Jubal. You only have to worry about co-ordinating things between the two of you. Not like my family!” He continued to sweep vigorously, dust motes floating in the light. “With eight people, trying to get everyone herded to the right place can be mayhem! You have everyone going in all directions, talking at the same time, and everyone has their opinion about how to do it better. Honestly, trying to get it organized you need to have crowd control!”

“You should just do it right,” was Aaron’s flat answer. “That’s your job.”

Man, this is hard, Troy thought, looking at Aaron’s back. Doesn’t this guy ever loosen up?

“Still, as much as it can be a lot of hard work,” he continued with a warm smile. “I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We’ve been to so many interesting places, learnt so many things, met such good people. I mean, what better life could there be? It’s not like it’s all just work. There’s plenty of time to play and when we were kids we always had stuff we could do.” Troy laughed. “It was always a load of fun, and with my brothers around I hardly lacked for playmates.” He smiled at the childhood memories. “Being a kid in a circus really was the best, don’t you think?”

“I wouldn’t know,” Aaron said brusquely and walked away from Troy, disappearing outside.

A sudden realization hit Troy as he realized how insensitive he had just been. Aaron’s life had been very different from his own. He could remember when Aaron had first arrived at the circus. The thin, waif-like, child grubby from living on the streets had been caught sleeping in the animal enclosure, huddled in the straw for warmth, scraps of food scavenged from the bins clutched tightly in his small hands. Reagan had been the one to find him back then and taken him to the Master - kicking, spitting and scratching like some wild animal himself. Somehow, the Master had arranged things so Reagan could become the boy’s legal guardian and so, he remained with the circus.

However, Aaron had never truly become one of them. He was skittish around people and avoided contact with them as much as possible. Although Aaron was very close in age to Troy, with less than year’s difference between them, they never had much to do with each other and even after ten years they had barely had a decent meaningful conversation in all that time.

It was no great secret about Aaron’s past, at least the bare bones of it. Aaron had been abandoned at birth and spent his early years in a children’s home. There had been whispers of abuse, which was why the young boy had fled to survive as best he could on the streets. If he hadn’t found his way here to the circus, Troy wondered what Aaron’s life would have been like.

Now as a wave of guilt washed over him, Troy realized how much he had taken for granted the camaraderie with his family and his bond with his brothers. They had always been there for him, even when he was in the wrong, even when they were punishing him they were still there for him, which had always made him feel he was special. He’d always been encompassed in that family love and had never been without it. He had never lacked for company, never even had to seek others’ companionship as the family always had each other.

However, Aaron had had none of that. Troy could recall having seen the young Aaron in the distance sometimes, watching he and his brothers’ play but he would never approach any closer, always remaining distant from everyone. Troy could have reached out back then and asked Aaron to join them, could have sought him out. Back then, in his child’s mind, Troy had just thought Aaron hadn’t wanted to play with them but perhaps it had been more than that. Perhaps Aaron had wanted to join in but had been unable to make that first step.

Troy stared at his shoes, thinking hard. Aaron had had no-one back then as a friend, at least not a friend around his own age. He had no-one to play with, to laugh with, or pull pranks with and hide behind the tent afterwards. He had no-one to get into trouble with or go to talk over things bothering him. He had no-one to hold him when he was hurt or confused, or someone to fight with and ease his frustrations. Aaron was alone and always had been.

Troy looked after where Aaron had vanished, his lips pressed together in a thin line. Right, he thought to himself, taking a firm grip on the broom in his hands. Then it’s time to change things. I can’t turn back time and change what has already passed, but I can try to do something now. I might have been a selfish brat as a kid for not having tried to be friends with him but I refuse to believe it is too late to start now.

He began to sweep again, his determined thoughts making his strokes long and hard, sending dust into the air in eddies. I don’t care how he acts, I know we could be friends. I just have to make him realize that he can trust me.

A shifting in the darkness from the corner of his eye made him pause again and turn. That’s right. I just have to get him to trust me as he does Jubal.


The rest of the afternoon passed swiftly, despite Troy’s original misgivings, although it went by in almost complete silence as Aaron maintained his distance from his workmate after returning to the tent. Troy wasn’t even able to say goodbye; for when he reached the end of his time, he found himself completely alone once more, no sign of Aaron at all.

Troy scowled in irritation. That was just so like Aaron, which is why he was viewed by others as being antisocial. He’s got to try at least, Troy thought as he put away his tools and made his way back to the trailer.

He found Ranford sitting out in front, needle in hand and stitching carefully a portion of his costume. He looked up as Troy approached, giving a broad smile.

“So how did it go?” he asked.

Troy shrugged. “As you would expect.” He sat on the step of the open trailer door.

“Do you have plans for after the show?” Ranford queried, bringing the cotton thread to his mouth and biting it off before standing and giving the shirt a sharp snap to spread it out, scrutinizing his work.

“Nope,” Troy answered. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. “I was just being stupid.”

“So what – you’re trying to be all cool and responsible now?” Ranford smirked, flicking at Troy’s long fringe.

“Hey,” Troy swatted the hand away. “I’m not trying to be anything.”

“Really? So the brand name jeans and latest craze of wearing leather wrist ties are just coincidence?”

“Look, I would be trendy if I had a piercing or two,” Troy retorted.

Ranford barked with laughter. “If you did, Da would have a fit!”

“Well, I’m not going to do it,” Troy assured him. “It would be nothing but a pain to have to remove them every time we do a show.” He tugged at the leather wrist bands. “These are enough trouble.”

“Then why don’t you get rid of them?”

Troy grinned at his brother. “Perhaps I do want to be cool!”

“Told you!” Ranford laughed, grabbing Troy in a head-lock and scruffing the top of his head with his knuckles.

“Let me go, you idiot,” Troy demanded, struggling. “I’ve got to get ready!”

Ranford chuckled and pushed past where Troy sat to enter the trailer. “I call dibs on the shower,” he said.

“Hey, no fair!” Troy said, scrambling to his feet and following his laughing brother. He wondered how it would go with Aaron tomorrow.