To Become

1:09pm - Gone



Sara and I are sitting here waiting for them to get back. They said they had to take care of a few things. These stupid cells are so small, it's suffocating. We're always locked in though. It's not like there is anywhere for us to go anyway. We don't even know where we are.



It's strange for them to leave in the middle of the day though. I mean, Ryan and Jason usually leave for a while each day but not Brad and especially not Greg. He's always in his office researching or talking with us. It's probably wrong for me to trust him, but I do. I can talk to him about anything. I can even tell him how much I hate Ryan, and he never yells back at me or hits me for saying it. He just gives me a hug, and it's a normal hug. There is no groping like some of the men who come in do. Greg has actually never touched me in that way. Perhaps that is why I trust him. Then again, maybe it's because he thinks I'm dirty and disgusting. No, if he did, he would never hug me or touch me at all for that matter. He makes me smile.



Sara is on her cot writing in her journal, too. What happened is that she had passed out yesterday from lack of food. We only get fed once a day, and that's breakfast, but when you first get here, they don't give you anything. They want us down to a low enough weight so we can't get our periods. If we had our periods, we couldn't make money for them throughout those days. Although, I've heard that some men don't mind it which I think is absolutely horrid, but what they do even now is just as sickening.



I'm doing okay. Mike was a little early this morning. He's one of my regulars. He said that he had to go into work early to finish a few things that should have been done the night before. He said he wasn't really in the mood for any "fucking," he just wanted to see me. Then he said that anytime he sees me, he always gets a hard on. I took him orally and that was it. He left. I came out and saw Sara in our cell swinging her legs back and forth. I smiled and she waved. No one else for me came. Sara has had two since then. She has her quota in for the day already. I need one more, and he always comes around 4 or 5.



They've been gone for 2 hours now. They have to be back by 1. There are like 3 men who come in around 1.



I wish today was Saturday then tomorrow would be Sunday. We're free Sunday. We can do whatever we want. We even get to sleep in which is the best part. We also get to be out of the cells the whole day. They're always unlocked as long as our "owners" are downstairs. Another thing is that Ryan always fixes lunch for us, and he is actually an amazing cook. He let me help a few times when I woke up earlier than the other girls. We have our own little kitchen area too. There are snacks in the cabinets like poptarts, cookies, and cereal. In the mini fridge we have milk, juice boxes and yoghurt. Finally, on the shelves we have fruit! Apples, bananas, oranges and grapes!



At 3 they always take us outside. They have this large high fenced in area for us to play. There is a half court for basketball which Myra is always trying to get me to play, and there is a swingset with four swings. When it's warm, we can swim in the lake. They have like a small area that has like walls around it. I like to pretend it's just like in The Little Mermaid 2. They put walls around the castle so Melody could never go out to the sea. They left a part of water there like a moat.



Some of the girls went swimming last Sunday. I didn't. I sat on the dock and just gazed into the sky. Ryan came and sat with me. He talked to me like my brother used to talk to me. He asked me if I was okay, how I was feeling, and mainly why i had looked so depressed lately. I didn't have an answer. He put his hand on my head and ruffled my hair a bit then stood up and walked away. He actually cheered me up for once.



Then on Sunday nights, we sometimes go to the room in the back and watch a movie. We also have games that we can play in the cabinets by Greg's office. There are seriously a ton of them. Monopoly, Battleship, Clue, Sorry, Trouble, Chess, Checkers, Chinese Checkers, Yahtzee (which Brad still can't beat me at), and a lot more. They also have a few video games for us that we can play in the back as well. They have a Playstation 3 which is the coolest thing ever. They also have an Xbox 360.



Sunday's are just the days that everything can be perfect. The rest of the week is like living in Hell, but on Sunday, we escape it. It's something to look forward to. That's why I wish it would come again already.



They're back and of course with some customers. I'm guessing Chastity, Nicole and Haley. I might write later. Sara and I might make up our own fantasy world again. It helps us escape reality. Then again, we might just go and chat with Greg. He'll want to check up on her anyway after yesterday.