Labels Were Our Friends

Labels Were Our Friends

by Jericho

x.o

I didn't sleep much that night.

All I could think about was Megan. Kissing her. Touching her. Holding her. This wasn't right. I wasn't like that. Sure I'd never really had a serious relationship, but that didn't mean I didn't like men. I wasn't gay. I was just in love with Megan Wendt. Shut up Becky, I might be crushing on her, but I am most definitely not in love with her. Just incredibly infatuated with her smile, her eyes, her laugh. I was thinking all this next to the woman she was with, no less! This was wrong on so many levels. I couldn't stop though. It was a disease or something.

All I knew was this was not normal.

Around four am, I rolled Iris off of me (for such a shy girl, Iris was a major bed-hogger), and snuck down the hall. I was more than fully aware Annie would kill me if she found out I was out here. She would resurrect me and kill me again when she found out what I was planning on doing out here. I pulled out my cell phone and began to send a text message "come outside now". Even from outside the door, I could hear somebody's cell phone vibrating rather loudly against a wooden table.

"Turn that fucking thing off!" a grouchy voice yelled.

"I'm getting there!" replied a voice with whom I was all too familiar. I could hear the person mutter "Fuck, Becks. You trying to get me killed?" as it opened the door.

"Hi Joey," I whispered as the door opened to reveal my five foot eleven best friend.

Joey was a sight. His green-blue eyes were only half opened, squinting as he tried to focus in on my. His dark brown hair was matted and sticking up on the left, obviously from where he had been sleeping on it. I felt a little bad for waking the poor kid up, but I had to take care of some business.

He rubbed his eyes. "Becky, it is four in the frickin' morning. What the hell do you want?"

"Kiss me," I ordered in a hasty voice. "Kiss me like I'm the love of your life."

Joe blinked and stared at me as if I had just told him I'd joined the Neo-Nazis and was leaving to invade Poland.

"Well I know we have chemistry and all, but do you really wanna sacrifice years of friendship on one whim?"

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. "Oh, get over yourself and kiss me!" I hissed at him. "And pretend I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen."

"I need a second," he grumbled and rubbed his eyes. "Stand up straighter."

"What?"

Joey scratched his chin. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen is taller than you. If you want me to do this right than you need to cooperate."

"Fine, just get this over with," I muttered and straightened up to make myself taller.

"You make it sound like kissing me is a chore," Joe rolled his eyes. He stared at me for a couple more seconds in thought and finally sighed, "Okay, I'm ready."

He gently cupped my face in his hands and slowly leaned in to meet his lips with mine. It was breath-taking and passionate. I had to wrap my arms around his middle just to keep myself standing. Yet at the same time, as I was kissing this amazingly good looking guy, I knew there was nothing there. He and I were perfect for each other. He was for the most part quiet and nice and I was loud and fun. We had been friends for years, and I still couldn't feel anything emotionally more than my best friend is a really good-kisser. Physically, my knees were weak and my body felt like jello, but all the physical pleasure in the world was nothing if there was nothing emotional happening. Not just because he was my friend because the whole time I was thinking about Megan. I closed my eyes and accepted the fact of the matter. I wasn't into men. I was into Megan.

Joey pulled away from my lips. "I love you," he whispered into my ear. "More than you could ever know."

I gasped and felt tears coming to my eyes. My world crashed down around me as I realized what I had just done. What on Earth made me think this was a good idea? Now I had gotten his hopes up only so I could explain to him that we could never be. How was I supposed to know he felt this way? Did he even know he felt this way or had I just provoked it? I tried to look away, but his green-blue eyes were unavoidable.

"What I do wrong this time?" he grumbled and scratched his head.

Joey had a completely blank look on his quite disgruntled godly face. What the hell was wrong with him? Did he not realize what he'd just admitted to me? Was he really too tired to be thinking?

"You just said you loved me," I snapped at him.

The boy frowned and turned bright red. "Oh God, I didn't mean to say that out loud," he stuttered. "Just thinking about her just- never mind. No, no, I'm sorry. I wasn't talking about you. I mean to you."

"Darling, you don't have to lie to me," I pleaded.

"Oh, get over yourself and let me go to bed," he groaned and leaned against the wall. "I was just doing what you told me to do. Pretend you were the most beautiful girl in the world. I guess I got carried away."

I decided to ignore that slight insult and directed my attention to the more prominent matter at hand.

"So who is this beautiful girl that you love?" I asked in a sing-song tone.

Joey closed his eyes. He probably would've glared at me if he wasn't having trouble keeping his eyes open. "Just a girl."

"Do I know her?"

"Maybe."

"Does she go to my school?"

"No."

"Does she go to your school?"

"No."

"Does she go to Jericho?"

"I'm going to bed."

He turned back to the hotel room and slipped back into the room.

"Is it Faith?"

"Good night, Becks!" he called quietly.

With a small smile on my face, I turned on my heel and started back down the hall to my room. Sure the Megan problem was still unresolved, and now even more complicated than before, but for the moment it wasn't controlling my mind. And in this moment, that's all I needed: a break from my worry and some well-deserved sleep.

x.o

"I'm sorry Megs, but New York owns Chicago," Joey stated in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Pshaa!" Megan interjected. "That is such bull!"

"Okay that's enough children," Iris laughed, breaking up the mock-argument. "As someone who has lived in both cities, I am obliged to agree with-" She paused and looked at the two of them. "Mattie."

Joey raised his fists in the air in triumph. Megan sat back in her chair and glared at her Iris, who raised her eyebrows playfully and innocently took a sip of her double chocolate chip frappucino.

We had spent the first half of the day shopping in Seattle and were now sitting on the first floor of the Starbucks headquarters. Our group leader Nancy was on the other side of the room talking to the other adult leader for the group sitting at the adjacent table. Annie and the other half of Jericho were at the Space Needle. Megan and I wanted to go, but both Iris and Joe were deathly afraid of heights, which was why we were on the first and not the fortieth.

Joey was being uncharacteristically loud. Except for when it was just him and me, Joseph Matthews was rather aloof, unless of course somebody was in pain or if he was eating. Today, he had been making jokes, showing off, and being everything I usually was doing for him. In fact, he and I had pulled a 180. Joseph and I really did balance each other out. Even today when I, who was generally boisterous and self-assured, had become reserved and self-doubting, Joey decided to assume the role of, well, me.

I knew exactly why I was acting this way. It was Megan. I couldn't concentrate with her around me. As we were shopping, she kept holding up skimpy clothing and asking me if I liked it. Iris wasn't helping either. She and Joey were off looking at funny T-shirts. At one point Megan wanted me to help her get cute lingerie.

"Why don't you ask Iris?" I had muttered, trying to conceal a blush.

"Ugh, Iris isn't ever into that stuff," Megan replied. She then made her voice quiet and sweet like Iris's, "I don't intend on showing anybody my- those areas- anytime soon, so why bother?"

"Oh," I frowned. Trying to be as tactful as possible, I inquired, "So she's one of those 'til marriage people?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Megan remarked. "She says she's waiting for the right person, I dunno if that means after I do or after prom."

I nodded. For some reason that made me feel a little better to know Iris wasn't intending on having sex with Megan anytime soon. It was petty yes, but it made this ordeal all the more bearable.

"So what about you?" I asked, trying not to make it obvious that I was pressing the subject.

Unfortunately at that moment, Joey and Iris came back.

"Whatcha'll talking 'bout?" Joe asked with a goofy grin on his face.

"Oh, we're just talking about sex," Megan admitted with a small smile. Joey was absolutely flabbergasted at this comment. As was Iris, but instead of standing there with a stupid look on her face, she preoccupied herself from this hot-button topic by flipping through a clothes rack. "I was just about to tell Becky, that I was waiting for the right moment, with the right woman."

Her milky chocolate eyes glazed from me over to Iris who covered her mouth as she let out a cute, little giggle. As much as I wanted to hate her, I just couldn't help but like Iris. She was so shy and so cute. It made me want to strangle and hug her at the same time. Even at the current moment as she sipped her frappucino, her sparkling blue eyes wandered toward me to include me in a conversation that I was currently avoiding.

"So Johnsey," Iris turned to me. It was so quirky how she referred to people by making nicknames out of their last names. She called me Johnsey, Joey was Mattie, and Megan became Wendy. "Which city do you prefer?"

I blushed. "I wouldn't know. I've never left the West Coast," I admitted.

The other three stared at me.

"Are you serious?" Joey gaped. "We've been friends for years and you never told me that you've never been farther east than-"

"I went to Reno once in eighth grade," I finished.

"That's sad," Joey nodded. He looked back to Iris. "So when were you in New York?"

"Oh, I've lived in almost every major city in the country," Iris replied. "As you and Megan know, my mother died when I was four. We were living in DC at the time. Well my dad moved us to his hometown of Boston soon afterwards. There he became an alcoholic and ever since he got that DUI, I've been bounced from relative to relative. Just two"

"That sucks," I frowned. Suddenly I wanted to end this attraction to Megan. I hated secretly wishing to tear the couple apart. This struggle wasn't just about gender-liking anymore. This was about me being crazy about someone who already had a relationship with the nicest person I'd ever met. I had to make a decision. How far was I willing to go to be with Megan?

x.o

After an amazing day in the city, around ten forty-nine, we had finally returned to the hotel. Today we had until midnight to be in our rooms. Megan, Joey, Iris, and I had decided to go get something to snack on at the McDonald's across the street. Joe and I were grazing on an order of large fries as we swapped stories with Megan and Iris.

"So he left me for some girl with a lip, tongue, and eyebrow piercings," Iris sighed. "Tyler left me, and I realized that I couldn't kid myself any longer. I wasn't into guys like that anymore. I seriously didn't even bother to date after that, until I moved to Bellingham with my cousin Traci, and I met Lindsay. Linz was so amazing. Just so different than all those guys I'd dated in the past. I never did go back to quote unquote Tylers."

"That's terrible," Joey frowned.

"That's nothing," Iris laughed uneasily. "Before I moved here, I was actually living with my dad again. We were in New Orleans, and for the first time since I was six, I actually got to see him without having to hear the words fucking visitation hours."

"Did you have a social worker with tourettes?" I asked with a small smile.

Iris laughed. This time for real. "Well," she continued. "He had finally gotten out of rehab. He was going strong. About two years ago, I was over at a friend's house. Hell, I can remember her name, Lisa Roman. Well I got a call from the hospital. My dad had been in accident. Once I got there, they told me he was shot. They got this girl doctor to tell me he didn't make it. I'm not sure if she had any thing to do with my dad, but she did have a sweet face and knew how to break bad news to a grieving teenager. You know what the weird thing was? I haven't thought about it in two years. I know it sounds terrible, but by this point, he had become just another relative that had left me. My cousin Tanya actually told the social worker I could no longer stay with her cause her boyfriend told her I had threatened to kill him. In fact the only relative that didn't let me down has been Traci. She hasn't let me down yet."

There was an awkward silence for a minute there. It was only broken by the sound of a slurp from Megan's shake.

"I must be out," she observed, embarrassed at being the one to break the ice. "I think I'll get another."

She stood up and walked to the counter. Joey sighed and closed his eyes.

"When I was a boy, I laid under a bed while a man raped and almost murdered my mother. This had been a guy who she had dated for five years. On multiple occasions, this was a man who regularly beat her within an inch of her life. The only difference between that night and every other night in my life was that she finally promised me she wasn't going to take shit from him any more. She told me he would be out our life for good. You know why she finally left him? He threw boiling water on my back. So she broke up with him because he could beat her around as much as he wanted, but she wasn't going to let him hurt me. Physically any way."

I had heard Joey's story thousand times before and it still made me misty eyed. Hell you could probably guess Joey's story by knowing he was a Jericho kid and noticing he never took his shirt off ever. Trying to avoid making eye contact with Joey, I looked to see tears welling in Iris's sparkling blue eyes. They were a deeper shade of blue than they were when she was happy.

"I'm sorry I have to go," she excused herself. We watched her walk out the door in an emotional frenzy, and sighed.

A quiet second passed and small smile came to my best friend's face. "Hell of a place to get all emotional and deep dark secrety." It was just like Joey to go from dark and brooding to smiling and witty. Most people would write it off as a personality flaw, but I knew exactly what he was doing because I did it too. It was easier to make jokes than it was to actually think about terrible things.

"You started it," I muttered and nudged him playfully.

"She started it," he corrected as Megan returned to the table. He looked at me, "I'm going to go make sure she doesn't get herself raped. I trust you two won't blow up this establishment while I'm gone."

Megan gave him a small thumbs up as she took a sip from her shake. With that approval Joey quickly left to go apologize or what not.

"What was that about?" she inquired with interest.

"You never know with that man," I answered, smiling slightly.

"Iris too," Megan added. "She can be sweet and fun one second, and super angsteh the next."

"Angsteh?" I repeated.

"Yes, angsteh." Megan replied as she grabbed a handful of my fries and stuffed them in her face.

"Very lady like."

"You betcha."

I laughed and propped my head up with my arm. "You are so weird."

"Yah, but you love me."

"Sureee," I drawled, teasingly.

"You lurve me," Megan grinned.

My cheeks turned a reddish color and I grabbed her shake. "Whatev," I muttered, taking a drink.

With a small smile, Megan took her cell out and checked the time. "It's almost eleven thirty," she informed me. "We should go find Joey and Iris."

"They've probably ran off to Mexico by now," I mumbled.

"Men, eh?" Megan laughed.

"Hey, you don't have to deal with them," I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Lesbianism has it's perks," she grinned. "But for the most part, we have all the same problems as straights. It really pisses me off these girls who turn to lesbianism just because they had one two many heartbreaks."

"Cause that's just not cool," I joked.

"Eh, I gotta go to the bathroom," Megan stated as she stood up to leave. "You go on ahead. Make sure our Dynamic Duo hasn't joined a biker gang already."

Snickering at the idea of Joseph in a biker gang, I got up and left the McDonald's. Still sipping Megan's shake, I turned the corner and saw something that almost made me choke to death in surprise. It was beautiful and at the same time it was revolting. There stood my best friend holding in his arms my crush's girlfriend. Their mouths were inches apart as they spoke so softly I could barely make out what they were saying.

"I can't stay away from you," Iris whispered as she buried her head in his shoulder. "I feel safe with you."

Joey patted ran his fingers through her blonde hair. "I need you, Iris. It's only been a couple months but I can't think of anything else when you're not here with me and when you are here, I can't breathe. You are intoxicating, you're addicting, and I hate that the thought of you controls every aspect of my mind. But at the same time, I know that I love you, Iris."

The Valkyrie raised her blonde head. Her blue eyes were as big as the moon and shined like the stars above her.

"Don't say that Mattie," she whispered. "I can't-"

I wasn't sure who moved first. Maybe it was Joey trying to convince her that his feelings were true. Or maybe it was Iris denying her own denial. But the next thing I knew, they both leaned in and met eachother's lips. Suddenly my mind returned to earlier today. I was witnessing Joey kiss the girl he imagined I was in the hotel hallway. It was beautiful. It was so full of the love we lacked. Despite her protest to his admission, Iris was in love with Joseph.

They finally pulled apart and he whispered in her ear what I could only imagine was an "I love you more than you could ever know."

"I know," she choked. "I love you too, Joey."

She didn't love Megan.

"How could you do this?" I found my voice asking.

I was enraged. She was with the girl I wanted more than anything in the world. It was shallow, yes. Instead of being happy that my best friend was finally with the girl of his dreams. A girl who couldn't say a cruel word about anybody. Both of them deserved to be happy together, but not at Megan's expense. So I was mad because their happiness was hurting somebody I hadn't seen in three years. Didn't they understand this was bigger than them? My whole body was shaking and tears were weling in my eyes as I repeated.

"How could you two do this."

Like her flower namesake, as Iris turned to look at the source of the voice, she crumbled in the crushing fist of seeing me in tears. I almost felt bad for being angry at her. She fell to tears and pushed a very confused Joey off of her. I couldn't look at her any more so I turned around and tried to walk away.

"Rebecca, I'm so sorry," her sobbing voice called after me.

I turned around and saw Iris bent over in tears. Joey was trying to thelp her up, but she kept hitting him away. The broken flower wilted in front of my eyes and I didn't care. She could cry all she wanted. Nothing would make up for her betrayal. Yes it was bitchy, but I couldn't take the innocent little girl act any longer. She had to live up to her actions.

"Don't apologize to me," I hissed as I stomped off in the other direction.

x.o

Not as long as the last chapter but I thought that would be a good stopping point. Especially because this is really a turning point in the narrative