Dead Tears

Chapter 2
Why?

All my mom does now is sit around the house. Her head in her hands, tears running down her cheeks in rivers. She's moving. She's going back to live with her family in New York. I think that's the best move for her. There is nothing left for her here. She wanted to move back before, but I held her back, saying that I didn't want to leave my high school and friends behind. After all I only had a few more years. Then a few more when I went to college because I was going to be close by. She hasn't sold the house though. Keeping it in her name.

The movers have been taking boxes out to their large vans for days now. Mom was always a pack rat. She wouldn't let them touch my room though. Everything is how it was. The Lord of the Rings, The Covenant, Dragonforce, and Breaking Benjamin posters are still pealing from the walls. My computer is still on, humming to itself from not being in use. The used condom is still in my small trash bin from when Mo and I spent my last weekend together, which was a few weeks ago by now. My bed, with the black converter, is still unmade, clothes are laying across my floor since I have no sense of cleanness for my room. Plates and soda cans are laying on my computer desk and night stand. Open text books sitting on my floor from where I had fallen asleep the night before and not picked them up. I think my alarm just gave up after the days that it hadn't been shut off.

I let my body slip down to sit on my bed. It doesn't dip down anymore, the springs don't make noise. My pale hands reach out to try to feel the wrinkles in the blankets only to run right over them without any resistance. This isn't right. The lights have been off since I left home that day. I don't even remember what I was doing. Going to Julian's house to watch a movie? Sneaking out to go see Mo at some secret location? Meeting Airen at the video arcade? Or going to study with Brooklyn at the library? I've tried so hard but I don't remember.

Light thuds alert me to someone growing closer to my self made serine. The foot stopped outside of my door, just standing there. I guess the person on the other side was debating coming into the room that once belonged to me. A hand on the door knob makes the old springs squeak as it twist. Mo stood there, in the door way, allowing a little of the hall light to fall over the hidden objects. His eyes looked over my things, though he didn't even see me sitting here on the bed. He flipped on the light switch, sending rays of light through the room, now allowing all the nocks and crannies to be lit up. He walked in and closed the door behind him. He let a sob come from his lips, his face turning from the stern look that had always made its home there but when he smiled, back slipping down my door making the poster there crinkle under his weight and the friction. His knees then bent so that they were resting at his chest.

"No! Don't cry." I called, I was sure my face was showing a bit of surprise and disbelief, as I rose from the place on my abandon bed. My feet ran the small distance between us. His arms were crossed over his knees and his face was buried in them hiding the pain stricken face and the tear ridden eyes from my view. I reached out when I reached him, my hands trembling. "Be strong." I stated, though I knew he couldn't hear my voice. This was not the Massimo that I knew. This was a different one, one that I had not seen before. My hands tried to comfort him, caressing his head and neck, cupping the back of his head but he couldn't feel me. Couldn't feel my body so close to his. But this wasn't my body. My real flesh body was decomposing in the ground right now.

"Why?" He asked quietly at first bringing my full attention back to him rather then in my thoughts, my eyes were questioning him silently. "Why!?" He shouted lifting his head from his arms and arching it back so it rested on the door along with his spine, my hands were forced back to my own form. "Why did you take him from me!? Why did he have to go!? We-we had so-so much pl-planned." His voice got quiet again breaking into soft sobs. It was going to make me cry seeing him in such distress like this. I never thought he would miss me so much. "You couldn't let me have anything good in my life could you, you son of a bitch! He was mine and you took him away!" It was breaking my heart listening to the shouted words, no doubt my mother could hear them if she was still in the house.

"Massimo! I'm right here!" I pleaded with him, moving my body forward again my hands reaching out to rest on the side of his neck and cup one of his now rosy cheeks. "I'm right here! Please see me! Hear me! Please!" I had tears running down my face again. I leaned my body forward pressing myself against him fully. "Feel me please." I asked quietly, I couldn't feel his heat. I couldn't feel the warmth that I had basked in so many times before. I wanted to comfort him so badly. He just sat there though cursing at the god that we didn't even think existed anymore. I hadn't seen any angels or bright lights like the Christians said there would be. I hadn't seen the gates of heaven or hell.

His body was relaxed in a short time after his rant, giving up his sobs and vocals noises as his eyes closed behind his glasses, his body growing lax. He was asleep. His breathing was light and his legs had slumped open since he did hold his muscles tight when he slept. I wondered then, how many times had he cried himself to sleep at night after my death. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. I always liked to watch him. I moved one of my hands then, running my finger tips over his parted lips, trying to feel the softness that I knew was there. He was beautiful. How he choose someone like me to love I don't know and I guess I'll never figure it out.

It only lasted 30 minutes, though it seemed like hours watching him sleep. My own body had relaxed against him. How many times had we slept like this when I was alive? My body pressed to his side, his back resting against a tree or something of the like. Though his arm was usually wrapped around my waist. I saw his body stiffen then, after a few soft groans from waking. I couldn't feel it under my finger tips but I saw it, his muscles grow tight under his skin. His eyes had opened and grown wide looking to where I rested next to him. He shook his head, standing up quickly, making my form fall to the ground without his body there to support me. His hand twisted the knob again making the old springs squeak of moving too quickly again and walking out hastily, without even turning off the light. He had felt me and saw me. I know he had! Why would he leave so suddenly if not that? But that's just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe he had realized that he had something other to do then to sit in his dead lover's room and cry.

My form was moving from my laying position on the floor slowly, still in shock. When my mom came shortly after, opening the door just a little, reaching in and turning off my light with a timid hand, I was sitting on the white carpeted floor. I could feel that she was scared to come in and see it as my eyes looked up to caught a peak of her through the small crack. She didn't want a reminder of me so bluntly. She couldn't handle it yet. Her daughter had left her for her boyfriend and now she had lost her son to death. In truth I didn't see how she could do it. If it had happened to me like that I would have killed myself by now, if only to get closer to my family that had passed.

I followed after her instead of wallowing in my own self pity or hopefulness that Mo had left me with. There was no point in staying in my room anyway, the only thing there was reminders of the life I once lived for. And staying there wasn't going to change anything. Reaching up with one of my hands and wiping away from the tears that had fallen as I stood to follow. I wonder how my other friends are doing? I'm not concerned about them though. Julian, Brooklyn, and Airen will be there for each other. Mo and I always wondered about them, if all three of them were dating. They acted it like it. If one had to go somewhere they all went there. If one of them was sick the other two would watch over them. One skipped school they would all skip school. If one of them worked some place the others would try to work there too, and if they couldn't the one would quit. They were strangle like that. Mo and I were always wondering about that, we had even voiced it to them one day. All three shrugged their shoulders and told us they were best friends and that was it. We still didn't believe them.

The walls and shelves of our house looked bare to me now. All the pictures on the walls were gone. And the ones that were left were ones of our family, like my grandmother and grandfather, cousins, aunts and uncles. All my art was off the walls and shelves. I never realized before how she had so much stuff of mine around, surrounding me with a haze of comfort. Everything seemed dead now, no life to anything, even if the people in the pictures were smiling. Walking to the kitchen then there was still glass and ceramic on the floor from where she had broken plates and dishes in the kitchen when she had found out that I was dead. She had acted the same way the day that my dad left without an explanation. She still hadn't done anything with the pieces. On top of that, she was getting far too skinny. I don't think she had eaten well since that day. The phone cord was pulled from the wall, which explained why the phone had not rang since I came back in my ghost form. I think I have come to terms a little bit of calling myself that.

She did not stop for anything, her eyes fixed on the front door leading away from the place we had once shared. Turning the new polished door knob she had outside into the sunlight, the natural light hitting her face, let the tear stains be seen more clearly. She didn't seem to care anymore what she looked like, and I guess the neighbors and people around her realized that. Her painfully taken steps brought her to the silver car that now rested in our driveway. What had happened to her Blazer? She would never own a car. I stood by the passenger door wondering how I was going to get in to the strange vehicle. I couldn't open the door, my hands just went right through the handle. Maybe- I tried what I saw done in movies so many times before. I tried slipping my body through the metal to take the passenger seat. And to my surprise, it worked. I heard the car door slam next to me and looked over to see my mom putting the keys into the ignition and turning the car on.

It was so surreal as I road down the highway with my mother, my eyes watching her small form trembling. I don't think she has stopped since my death. Maybe that was part of the reason also that she had lost so much weight. Don't get me wrong, my mother was never a big person but she was a few pounds over weight. Now I bet she was more the a few pounds underweight. My head turned back to look at the highway.

My breathing became heavy for some reason and I felt my chest start to hurt. I couldn't feel physical pain anymore! What was happening? My heart started to beat quickly within my chest as if scared. My heart doesn't beat anymore! Then my eyes clouded with smoke. What was going on!? My mom didn't smoke and there was nothing on the highway to cause this. Fire came into my vision. Oh my god! Mom! Mom please be okay. But as I looked over, I saw the divers side window. Seat belt was pulled over my torso and my hands were gripping the steering wheel. I felt my flesh burn and I screamed closing my eyes.

I felt the car stop, my gray eyes looking over as I heard a click and the sound of the car door opening. What just happened? My lungs panted for breath though I didn't need it. I thought that- I watched as mom walked into the large stone building that she had parked in front of. My head started to hurt, I brought one of my hands up to rest on my forehead trying to calm my brain, or whatever was up there now that I was dead. Something about the car freaked me out. So I used my newly learned sliding trick and eased myself out onto the concert. My feet jogging to catch up with my mother, who shut the door to the building on half my body. I didn't feel it though, I guess that was a good thing.

My eyes traveled along looking at the sterile white walls and the tilted white floors. I didn't know this place. I started to wonder why my mom was here, she never said anything about this place before. My gray eyes were looking all over the walls and windows and posters to find out what this building was. My mother stopped at a counter after a few twist and turns in the building, making me walk right through her. That was a weird sensation. Then I heard her voice for the first time since my funeral.

"Annie Aki." She said then, causing my head to tilt to the side, something that Mo always thought was cute. My sister's name. She was here? My body prickled with curiosity. The women pounded a few things into her keyboard making me feel bad for the poor abused object. She then gave my mother a badge and a room number. My mother thanked her as she buzzed her through the door. Mom walked with a stride that she only used when she was angry. I had only seen it a few times before. I followed close behind, wanting to see my sister and find out why she was in this place, and what ecstatically this place was. Though when we came to the door that was labeled the number that the lady at the front counter gave her, she opened and stepped through the threshold but I couldn't. I tried to walk actually through the door, but that failed toot. Tried to follow after mom when she went it but I was still stopped. Why?

Reaching my hand out, I felt the barrier instead of running into it again. Why couldn't I go through? Was there something that I wasn't supposed to know? Was there something behind here that I wasn't supposed to see? Something caught my eye then, turning my head to look full on it. A gasp fell from my lips. It was my sister's boyfriend, struggling with some police officers leaving a room much like the one that my sister was in and that my mother had just walked into. He was in hand cuffs. Why? I always knew that he would end up in jail but what had he done?

I heard shouting from inside my sister's room. It was all making me more curious in the end, and I was never one to snoop where I didn't belong. But did I belong here? What was going on with my family? Why couldn't I go into this room? And why could Mo feel, see, and hear me sometimes? This was all so strange.

A/N:

l.i.n.d.s.e.y: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you like it!

Zelasii: I'm glad someone thought I should, I had already gotten the first three chapters written. Lol.

Gnome: I thought that those few places sounded weird when I read over it before posting. Thank you for pointing them out for me! And if you see anything else let me know!

Sekre: Yeah, Mo is going to be interesting aspect of this story. I bet you're going to love seeing what happens with them.