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January 19, 2015 at 12:00 AM
Please continue this. It's so sad, but I really wanna know what happens.
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March 13, 2013 at 12:00 AM
This is a really good series, but a little too angsty for me >_< No offense, I can't take almost ANY angst at all... I am hoping Cayden finds happiness, even if it isn't with Mo... ^_^
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May 29, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I like the story, but the grammer leaves much to be desired. Maybe you should have someone look over your chapters for errors before you post them. I really do like the story though. Just can't stand the grammer errors.
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December 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
that was very good. plz another part :)
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December 9, 2008 at 12:00 AM
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEE IT. Please CONTINUE and keep up the good work
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August 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Awww that's so said!!
Boys, I LOOOOVE this story! It's fantastic! XD
I wonder who killed that poor guy?? His sister? Someone she hired??
Sooo intriguing! LOL
Thanks alot for the great story! I can't wait to read more!!!
And oh-my-god, what is up with the dude's mother?? O_____O
Boys, I LOOOOVE this story! It's fantastic! XD
I wonder who killed that poor guy?? His sister? Someone she hired??
Sooo intriguing! LOL
Thanks alot for the great story! I can't wait to read more!!!
And oh-my-god, what is up with the dude's mother?? O_____O
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August 17, 2008 at 12:00 AM
His mother having so many pics of him was starting to give the creeps too. his sister....please update soon, it's really interesting.
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August 15, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great ch and the revelations were worth the wait. Good luck in college it'll be fun if you let it.
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August 13, 2008 at 12:00 AM
I'm loving this story! Really interested to see just how Cayden died (guessing a car accident, but don't know the how, when, or why yet.) I liked this last chapter, with learning more about his relationship to his family and then the interaction between Gabe and Cayden, especially Cayden trying to get Gabe to say his name instead of calling him 'kid'. Can't wait to read the next chapter, and good luck with college ^_^
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April 1, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Great chapter! Much was revealed and many more questions were asked. A great way to keep a reader reading I feel. Reveal enough to give a satisfying chapter and then give the reader something else they need to know. Very intriguing chapter end. I’m glad you found my comments useful. You never know when you are going to be well received and when people are going to think you are flaming.
My comments for this chapter are:
1. Well done. You didn’t do anymore first person describing self. Thumbs up.
2. You still need to watch out for your tenses. The first three paragraphs are in the present tense. The fourth paragraph is a mixture of present and past and then from the fifth paragraph onwards you seem to stick to past.
3. Did Mom not hear Mo’s screaming? It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t respond to it, her reaction reveals something about her character, but the narrator might at least wonder if she’s heard. I paused here in my reading and had to wonder.
Until next time.
My comments for this chapter are:
1. Well done. You didn’t do anymore first person describing self. Thumbs up.
2. You still need to watch out for your tenses. The first three paragraphs are in the present tense. The fourth paragraph is a mixture of present and past and then from the fifth paragraph onwards you seem to stick to past.
3. Did Mom not hear Mo’s screaming? It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t respond to it, her reaction reveals something about her character, but the narrator might at least wonder if she’s heard. I paused here in my reading and had to wonder.
Until next time.