Alarm

Disclaimer: All characters are mine

Summary: Hal Carson, a jaded Detective, lost his partner, Jim Walker, in a warehouse shooting. He has a tumultuous relationship with his ex, Leah Laverne, but they draw close through Hal’s emotional crisis. Can he work a case that involves her?


Warnings: m/f, angst, lemon

** Asterisks indicate thoughts

---------------------------



Chapter Two




The hospital had white, sterile floors and walls. The smell of disinfectant clung in the air. Leah tried not to feel claustrophobic, walking down the hallway. A nurse was ahead of her, leading her to Hal’s room. As much as she tried to hold her head up high and look uncaring, she was nervous inside. This would be the first time she had seen Hal in a long, long time.

The nurse stopped in front of a door, turning and smiling at Leah.

“This is it. Just push the call button if you need anything.” The nurse left, Leah standing outside the door. Her heart beat strongly. Would he look as bad as Detective Roberts described?

Knocking on the door as a warning, she didn’t wait for an answer before opening it. Stepping into the room, the lights were off and it was deathly silent. Shutting the door quietly behind her, she saw Hal’s bed beside the window. He had turned to look at who had entered, his usual clear blue eyes dimmed with morphine.

*And probably with what he’s been through as well* She surmised.

Still silent, she walked up and sat in the chair by his bedside, surveying the damage. He did look bad, his chest bandaged up securely, wrapped in several layers of gauze. He didn’t move around a lot, just his head and neck, to look at her.

She didn’t think that she would ever see him again. To actually meet him, when he was in this condition, was somewhat hard on her. She tried to feel indifferent about it, that it was just one of the many times Hal had been injured, but this was a completely different matter. The doctors had told her that he had almost died, and up until a few days ago, they weren’t completely sure that he was going to pull through. He certainly was a grim sight.

She was very much aware that Hal didn’t particularly want to see her. She hadn’t wanted to drop by at first, because of the nature of their relationship, but hearing the tone in Detective Roberts voice, and his describing what Hal had been through, she thought that she could maybe be some sort of a support for Hal. Even if only a little bit, it was good for him to know that she was willing to push past their differences if he absolutely needed her.

“Detective Roberts had called.” Leah offered up as an explanation. She kept her face neutral, focusing her eyes on his and trying not to let them stray down to the site of his injuries. The last thing she wanted was for him to see worry in her face.

“I know. He informed me of that when he had visited.” Although Hal’s voice wasn’t cold, it was clipped, much like how they had spoken to each other before parting ways. Leah tried not to let the anger flare up in her. She was annoyed that he would speak to her like that, after she had paid him a visit out of concern! He could be so ungrateful.

“He told me what had happened. I’m sorry about Jim Walker….he was a good man.” She said, studying his face. She saw a twinge of sadness and regret pass through those blue orbs, before he put up his stone wall.

“You don’t know anything about it. The loss, how I felt when it happened….you don’t know a damn thing.” Hal didn’t yell, his voice just above a whisper. He looked like he didn’t have the energy to do anything. Leah frowned, trying to not let her angry emotions come over her.

“Incase you have forgotten Hal, I have been just as involved with the Walker family as you. I think it would be a great mistake on your behalf to not think about how I grieve over Jim’s death as well.” In truth, she was grieving. Jim had been a great man, good to his wife and kids. Oftentimes, when Leah was invited over to dinner, he would take her through his study, questioning her health and sleeping habits. He had always been concerned over her well being. Although sometimes it got a little frustrating the way he would ask her if she was well, she couldn’t help but be touched by his concern. Now he would never ask her those questions again.

Hal didn’t refute, his mouth set in a grim line. For 34 years of age, he didn’t look a day over 25. Fine lines in his forehead and by his mouth were the only telltale signs of age, though they were so light you’d have to be looking for them to see them. Leah knew exactly where those lines came from – he used to be in such good humour, always smiling and making faces, enough to cause lines to appear over the years. Now, and for awhile, the only faces he would be making were frowns.

He fussed on the bed, adjusting the pillows behind him to sit up slightly. He wore hospital pants and a matching button down pyjama shirt, though all the buttons were open, giving Leah a good look at his chest. This was the worst injury he had sustained in his entire life. Leah couldn’t even imagine the pain he was going through. Relaxing again, he placed his left hand on his hip. An IV needle was put in the back of his hand, where the morphine drip was also located. Leah tried to not look at it. She always got squeamish around needles.

“I was shot in the lower back twice, so you can guess it’s not really comfortable sitting in one position too long.” He said, turning to look at her again. She remembered his face from a nicer time. Although it was the same features looking back at her, there used to be a twinkle in his eye, laughter, happiness, a youthfulness….and now he looked worn-out, dark, and a little despairing.

Leah remembered the days where he would come home, sporting a ridiculous faux hawk that would just get messed up as they made love on the kitchen floor. How he liked to sleep in on his days off, the smell of his aftershave, the way he used to hold her and kiss her….both their lives had turned to shit. The day she finally came to realize that, she wept in the shower for a good few hours.

He sat in front of her now, the baby fine, light blonde hair she used to run her fingers through mussed from lying in bed too long. He sported blonde stubble from not shaving for awhile, his eyes tired, but something else was in there too. Leah couldn’t quite place it. As if he knew what she was looking at, he neutralized his gaze again. It greatly frustrated her that he put up this impenetrable wall.

“You may not want me here Hal, but I think that it’s best that you have someone to talk to so you don’t retreat into your thoughts. Believe me, I understand that something terrible has happened in your life- we’re all affected – but I cannot allow you to sink further and further into depression and not talk to anyone.” She stated matter-of-factly. He spared her a blank glance.

“I really don’t need you here. You’re just wasting your time. I’m fine by myself.” Leah knew Hal – knew him better than he ever wanted her to, and that alone caused him some annoyance. She knew the words coming out of his mouth were far from what he meant. Leah gave him a no-nonsense look.

“My ass, Hal. For the majority of the days here, you’re all alone. I know that you would benefit from someone being here during visiting hours, and even though we don’t talk a lot – hell, I don’t even remember the last time we were in a room together – you will feel better having someone here with you. And in all honesty, and I know you cannot dispute it, I am the best person. We’ve been through far too much, shared too many things together to the point where I damn well know the person you are, and you know it too. Don’t you dare try to make yourself believe otherwise – you’d just be living a lie.”

Hal hated that she was right. He knew it, even before she had said anything. Having someone with him during visiting hours, even if they didn’t say a word to one another, was better than passing the time alone. Most of all, he knew that Leah was the person for it. She understood him, despite what happened between them. She knew when he needed silence, knew when he was in pain, his joys, fears…he believed that there wasn’t a thing about him that she did not know.

It wasn’t a one-way thing either. He knew Leah Laverne – the beautiful woman sitting before him, with her jet-black hair hanging past her shoulders, and her large, penny-coloured eyes. She was Welsh, at least in heritage. She had been raised in America, and would continue to live there until her last days. At 29 years old, she was wise and knowledgeable, but as he remembered, also playful, mischievous, and deep. Very, very deep.

He remembered when he had first met her, she was 23 years old. She had been the most gorgeous woman he had ever laid eyes on. Sophisticated and elegant, she had captured the police detective’s heart with one smile. Back in simpler times.

Hal knew, even though they were somewhat harsh to each other, and definitely cold, that what had happened between them had been completely unfair. It was as if God had turned His back on them, and a terrible cloud fell over their lives, and their relationship. Things that should never happen to anyone, anywhere, he and Leah had to suffer through. Now she was back, looking as beautiful as he could remember, though the pain in her eyes reminded him of when things started to go wrong. She probably didn’t know she was as easy to read as an open book, and he tried not to dwell on her hurting eyes too much. It brought on all the anguish that he tried to repress since their parting.

Turning away from her, he looked out the window. Everything was fucked up. Every damn thing.

“Fine, do what you want. Don’t expect me to be chatty though, I really don’t feel like talking lately.” He said, loud enough for Leah to hear. She was silent. He expected her to huff in annoyance, or talk back, but she held her tongue. Turning to look at her again, she nodded.

“We don’t need to talk, since you are so opposed to it. I know that just having someone here is enough.” Her voice was soft and melodious, and it brought back all the memories of him waking up in the morning to her whispering sweet nothings in his ear, their naked bodies tangled in the sheets.

*Things are different now* He reminded himself, though it felt like someone was squeezing his heart in his chest. It hurt, and made him feel breathless. It had taken so long to try and forget anything that had to do with her, and now she was back again. Hal knew that she must be feeling something similar – what they had been through was hardly easy to forget.

“I have to go now.” Leah interrupted his thoughts. Hal shocked himself by actually feeling sad that she had to go. He saw the nurse trying to usher his old lover out, and felt a touch of resentment for the woman in the scrubs. Leah gathered her things, and gently squeezed his hand before leaving.

When she was gone, Hal looked at his hand, where she had touched him briefly before going. It still tingled with the contact, and he hated her for it. He was trying so desperately to block her from his entire life, and now this had to happen. Jim dies, and Leah is back to console him. He didn’t know why he deserved this treatment in his life.

Lying down, shifting against all the pillows, he waited for the nurse to come back. They had him up and walking daily, to avoid getting pneumonia. That was the last thing he wanted. It was time for a walk soon, and he dreaded it. It always caused him immense pain, and he could only go for a short while before taking a break. He would be happy when things got a little easier.


------------------


Leah stepped into her house, feeling dazed. She finally realized, stepping through her front door, what had happened to Hal. Dropping her purse on the ground, she made her way to the living room and flopped down on the sofa, tears stinging her eyes.

Hal looked close to broken. He was the weakest she had ever seen him, and his injuries were horrific. He usually was a healthy colour, but when she had seen him today, he had been a sickly gray. His eyes weren’t lively. They didn’t have that fire that she remembered about him. Although near the end of their relationship, he had been upset and angry, he still had that light about him, that life in his face. It had dimmed severely.

Shocked, she thought about her visit. She knew Hal’s relationship with Jim, and although partners in the police force, they were closer buddies. Guys who hung out a lot, spent much of their off days together. Leah knew that getting over Jim’s death would not come easily for the fair-haired detective, and that there would be a lot of pain in his heart from it. She wished that there was something she could do to elevate it.

Wiping at her eyes, she chastised herself for tearing up. As much as what they had been through in the past, she had to be able to push that aside. Right now, helping Hal recover was the most important thing, and if she didn’t help him along, he might never be the same again. It wasn’t the time to be selfish or think about the rough ride they had been forced through, it was about making Hal healthy again, in body and mind.

Determined to help him, even though she knew she would be met with much resistance, Leah stood and went to the kitchen, picking up the telephone. She had to call Mrs. Walker, and tell her how deeply sorry she was for her loss.


------------------


Hal twisted and turned in bed, the sheets gathering around his hips. He dreamt about Jim, getting shot in the head, turning those dead eyes on him. He dreamed about one of the many times he made love to Leah, holding her close, having her whisper his name over and over as he came within her.

Memories came back to him in his dreams. Jim having both he and Leah over for dinner, laughing and telling jokes. Going home with Leah after, barely making it to the door, kissing and groping each other like a bunch of teenagers. Buying a house together, seeing her laugh and smile….

Then images poured in so fast he could barely remember them as they passed. Leah, eyes red and cheeks stained with tears, the fights, the yelling, the utter hopelessness the two of them faced, the silence, the loss they had been through, how things had taken a nasty turn….

Hal woke with a jolt, cringing as he pulled at his stitches. He was soaked with sweat, chest heaving. He had been on the verge of crying out, and a painful lump had formed in his chest.

Lying back down, he was wide awake, thinking about the images that had woken him. They were dull now, but he knew where they were from. He couldn’t forget.




-----------------


A/N: Thanks for reading. More to come soon! Everything will be explained in due time, so don't fret. :) Please review!


-----------------