The Meaning of Sanctuary

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The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identified as charm, persuasion, uncertainty, and bloody-mindedness.
-Terry Pratchett

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RIIIIINNGGG!!!!

The school bell rang promptly at 2:45 pm, signaling the end of another grueling school day that Wednesday afternoon much to everyone’s relief – both student and teacher alike. Eager teenage hands stuffed loose notes, pens, and books hurriedly into backpacks, restless to welcome an afternoon – actually, an entire week of spring holiday, free from worries and care insofar as homework was concerned.

“ – and don’t forget, I expect that essay written and ready to be submitted first day back!”

Well, for the most part, anyway.

Though hardly fair from Mr. Matthews’ English class’ point of view, the thought of the oncoming spring break was nonetheless too long-waited an event for the news of homework due to do more than cause several pairs of eyes to roll and some muted grumbling to fill the air as the students rushed out of the room. After all, even if an essay was hardly going to dampen their spirits, they certainly did not want additional work given should they linger after the bell.

“Mr. Matthews?” Alex ventured to ask, peering around the doorway of the classroom to see if the English teacher was available, hiking his backpack further up a slim shoulder as he approached the man, hardbound, red leather book in hand, assorted textbooks in the other. “I’m finished with the book you lent me. Thanks, by the way.”

Mr. David Matthews – Dave to his friends – grinned at the student, accepting the novel. Brown hair that stubbornly managed to slip free from the simple braid swinging behind him wisped lightly over warm green eyes that fondly regarded the intelligent, if reserved young man.

“You’re more than welcome, Alex.” He paused in cleaning up his materials, walking around the desk to lean half-sitting on the edge. “Well? Did it live up to expectations?”

“I loved it, Mr. Matthews.” Normally placid, unreadable, dark brown eyes shone with uncommon excitement from behind wire-thin metal framed glasses perched almost delicately upon a refined and striking, if somewhat pale, face. A shake of the head sent idle strands of black hair flying from of the boy's face, while longer, shoulder-length locks of the same color pulled back tightly in a high ponytail - that, miraculously enough, did not contribute to what some would call an unhealthy pallor of skin - bounced in the air behind him. “I can’t decide which was the best part – they were all so good!”

“Hah! What did I tell you? I knew you’d like it.” Came the smug reply.

Alex snorted, muttering just loud enough to be heard. “Arrogant bastard.”

“Of course.”

Unable to help himself, Alex laughed at the typically self-assured response, either unaware or ignoring the clear affection in the teacher’s smile.

“You’re never gonna change, Mr. Matth – ”

“ – Dave. School’s out, after all, and I’d much rather do without the formality, if you please.” Said ‘Dave’ as he tilted is nose up in the air, in true, haughty form. “And take off those glasses – you look ridiculous in them.”

The very unimpressed 17-year-old rolled his eyes, removing said glasses – actually nothing but plain glass – and tucking them in the side pocket of his bag.

“I think I look rather distinguished in them, actually, Dave,” was the declaration. “In my humble opinion, they make me look intellectual, educated, elegant, matu - ”

“ – which you’re obviously not.” Smirk.

“...I hate you.” A half-hearted glare.

“I know.”

“...”

“...” Grin.

Sigh. “You’re never gonna change, are you?” He asked resignedly, rolling his eyes with all the exasperated world-weary wisdom that teenagers manage to do so well.

“Have you?”

“...Huh?” Clear confusion filled the tone as the boy blinked, uncomprehendingly, made somewhat disoriented at the abruptly serious mien of his friend and teacher, at complete odds with the light, teasing tone of their previous conversation.

“You know what I mean.”

“...I do?” Alex just managed to keep from scratching his head. No matter how confused he was, he was not, under any circumstances, going to confirm the presently questionable simian roots of the human race.

Sighing, Dave walked the few steps to the door and nudged it shut, leaning against it as he looked at the boy with an air uncomfortably akin to that of a hawk circling doomed prey. The nervous anxiety tinged with almost-fear was a feeling Alex was only all-too familiar with and served to make him tense with ready-to-bolt anticipation that would enable him to... do absolutely nothing since his English teacher was blocking the only door in and out of the classroom. Desperate as he admittedly was, even then he was not yet quite ready to test the possibility of independent flight via third-floor window to the not-really comforting embrace of hard asphalt.

“Have you changed, Alex?” At the continuing look of utter bewilderment, he finally elaborated. “Your promise to yourself, and to me, last month? Have you kept it?”

Emerald eyes watched grimly as the boy started, hand unconsciously reaching for a sleeve-covered wrist before stiffly being forced away. Alex decidedly pulled the long sleeves of his sweater more firmly over wrist and hand before looking at Dave, and, either failing to meet the disappointment in those eyes or choosing not to, looked away, silent.

Slowly, Dave approached the student he’d come to care for as a close friend, ignoring the books and pulling him into an embrace, unsurprised and yet gratified at the lack of resistance.

“...Why, Alex?” He quietly, though clearly asked. “Why did you do it again? You promised you wouldn’t. Promised me you wouldn’t – that you’d stopped for good.”

No answer.

“...Alex?” He pulled back slightly, looking down at the bowed head. “Alex?” He called again.

“...mrmphfrm...”

This time Dave was the one visibly confused. “What? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear. Say that again?”

“I said,” then in a quieter tone, “I had to. I tried, but I couldn’t... I had to do it.”

Long moments of silence. Then…

“Oh, Alex...” Dave sighed, pulling the boy close again. “You didn’t need to do it – you only thought – no. You didn’t even try!”

“I did!” Alex attempted to pull back, only to give up and relax as the arms about him refused to budge, though he continued to protest.

“I didn’t have a choice – there was nothing else I could have done!”

“You could have called me. Or if not me, then Adrian – you like him, don’t you? And you know he loves talking to you.” The man chided gently, embracing the boy tightly to take the sting out of the words. “But you didn’t even try to call us. Why?”

“...didn’t wanna be a bother...” He whispered under his breath, though in the silent classroom, the sound – the hopelessness, the insecurity, the loneliness reverberated loud as a drum. “I can take care of myself.” The world-weary defiance of the despairing that cut like a dull knife in those few, tired words was almost enough to make the teacher wince.

“Yes, well, if you could, then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation to begin with!” Dave snapped before he could stop himself, worry making his tone sharper than usual. His next words soothed any hurt. “And you know – we told you that you could never be a bother! Especially Adrian! He worries about you as much as – if not more – than I do!”

“You’re both teachers.” Alex pointed out. “Even if Adrian teaches martial arts instead of actual school.”

“And what’s that got to do with anything?”

He shrugged, looking away again. “You’re both obligated to help as teachers – duty and all that. I know that’s all it is, though, and I’m willing enough to make life easier for you by not disturbing you with little things like this.” Another shrug. “Don’t worry, though. I won’t tell anyone, and you won’t have to justify yourself to me or anyone else – it’s not like I’m stupid, after all, and I certainly don’t expect you to try to help me out of a misguided sense of duty, in case you were wondering.”

Dave open his mouth to hotly protest. “Now you know that’s not tr - ”

“Speaking of Adrian,” Alex uncharacteristically interrupted, a note of forced cheer in his voice. “You’d better let go. What’d he say if he saw you hugging someone other than him? Especially if it’s another guy?”

The boy waggled his eyebrows, or tried to. If the situation weren’t so serious, Dave would have laughed. As it was, however... “He’d - ”

“He’d say Dave had better keep hugging you, if he wants to keep Adrian from beating some sense into your thick skull.” Came the lightly accented reply from the tall, lean figure who closed the door behind him before approaching the two. Surprisingly depthless blue eyes flashed with annoyance and worry from the oriental man’s face, framed by black hair cut tastefully, practically short.

“He’d say he can’t believe you broke your promise – the promise you swore you’d keep,” Adrian continued, a mere step away from the two. “But he’d also say that, most of all, he’s disappointed and furious that you didn’t call, even after you were told that we’d come anytime you needed us – and that there’s always room in our apartment for one more whenever you need it, for however long you need it.” He paused, studying the boy whose gaze was almost drilling holes into the tiled floor, lying stiff, trembling, though quiescent in Dave’s embrace.

“You idiot.” Was the gruff comment as he set the books aside before easily tugging the reluctant boy from his husband’s embrace and tightly into his own. He gently pulled the boy’s face up, meeting and holding the brown-eyed gaze. “We care about you.” He ignored the flinch that induced, shelving away the instinctive, resulting question for later. “What else did you think I’d say?”

Alex just shrugged his shoulders in reply. After some moments of silence, he stepped out of Adrian’s now loose hold, bending down to pick up the worn, but well cared for backpack that had fallen to the floor sometime during the conversation, carrying textbooks in his other free hand.

“Well,” Alex cleared his throat into the silence, hand gripping the bag tightly, almost defensively in front of him. He smiled at the two men in front of him as he slowly inched cautiously towards the door, thought the smile did not reach brown eyes that were trained determinedly away from concerned green and blue. “Gee. Um… This has been fun, hasn’t it? But I… gotta go. Yeah.” He sidled around the still form of the martial arts teacher, turning the doorknob. He was almost free! “Thanks again for the book, D - ”

“Waitasec, Alex,”

… Dammit. And he was so close, too!

Adrian’s gaze was fixed on the boy’s wrist, where the fabric had ridden up and given way to skin. Bluish-purple, badly bruised skin. “What’s that on your arm?” Was that swelling? How on earth could the boy have carried his books around with him the whole day with his wrist injured like that? Why was he carrying them now?

“What – oh, this?” The boy juggled his books around for a moment, revealing a momentary glance of the other wrist that was just as badly bruised before pulling both sleeves down, one after the other. “It’s nothing.” He forced a laugh, brushing it off, clearing his throat awkwardly when the stares didn’t waver one iota. “Just an accident during P.E. class – you know how things can get rough sometimes. Boys will be boys, and all that.” He tried another laugh.

Nope. Still the stare.

Clearing his throat another time, he again reached for the doorknob, calling out casually as he did so. “Anyway, s’not a big deal. It’ll go away on its own in a day or two.”

Green eyes met blue in silent communication. Adrian nodded.

“Alex...” Dave stepped forward, a smile on his lips, pointedly taking the heavy books away from the boy and carrying them himself. “Why don’t you stay with us for tonight? We can drive by your house now to pick up whatever stuff you think you’ll need if you like.”

Brown eyes widened, and he stepped forward, arms raised slightly, just a little too polite to actually grab his stuff away from the teacher. “Oh, no! Mr. Matth – Dave, I couldn’t possibly!” He shook his head for emphasis. “My parents – I’ve got to get permission from them first – and I couldn’t possibly impose.”

“It’s no imposition. Besides, you told me your entire family left for Europe last week, and won’t be coming home until next month – I’m sure your parents wouldn’t mind having two adults watching over you, to make sure you’ll be okay.”

“I can take care of myself just fine, thank you very much.” Alex frowned, natural defiance coming to the fore at the absolute tone of finality in the teacher’s statement that was not even the least bit questioning. “I’m not a kid. It’s not as if I haven’t been looking after myself the past few days, you know, and - ”

“Tell you what.” The friendly smile changed not a bit, though there was the sudden impression of sharp steel in the sweet, cultured tones. “You stay with us until your parents get back – not just for today – and I won’t question how you got bruised during a non-existent P.E. class.” Yet, Dave added silently as he watched his lover’s eyes harden at the English teacher’s words. “And I’ll even promise not to inform the school about your habits – which you did promise to discontinue.” A pointed look. “Deal?”

“That’s blackmail!” The boy glowered, as he reached out and actually started pulling at his textbooks, stubbornly ignoring the hot flashes of pain running up his arm. “And you’ve no right to tell me what to do - ”

“The nurse’s office is just a few rooms down the hallway, you realize,” Dave casually added in a sing-song voice as he carefully dislodged the boy’s grip and moved away with his books, taking a threatening step around Alex and towards the door. “I could just - ”

“Alright! Alright! You win!” Too-thin, in Dave’s humble opinion, shoulders slumped in defeat. “I’ll stay with you until my parents get back!”

Dave grinned in satisfaction, and even Adrian smiled – after he took the boy’s backpack. Ignoring the glare thrown his way, of course. “Excellent! Let’s go.”

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