When the Other Shoe Drops

When the Other Shoe Drops

By April Grey

Chapter Two – That Fat Irish Kid


Josh Connor stepped out of the shower at the Dojo. There were a couple of black and blue marks sprouting on his arms and chest. He’d been a black belt for nearly five years and was hoping to get serious enough to move up in rank to First Don. Still, his career took precedence and getting the crap beat out of him on a regular basis wasn’t a risk he could take very often when his career depended on his looks and his ability to move well.

He pulled his gym bag out of his locker and began rubbing some liniment into the worst of the sore muscles. Noticing that he’d missed a call on his cell phone, he pressed the buttons and got:

“Hi Bunnyboo, it’s your Cindydoo. Ummm. I’m just calling to let you know that I have to head out of town for a few days, nothing special. Mom and Dad are all right. Ummmm. Anyway, hope the shooting is going well. See you when I get back. Love you, darling.”

He sat down heavily and cursed under his breath. He missed her so much and now he’d missed her call, damn, damn it to hell. And today was supposed to have been their wedding day. He should have called her first thing, right when he woke up that morning. That was his mistake number one. He really wanted to talk to her, make sure that she was all right. The thing was that he wasn’t all right; he worried too much without her being there. He didn’t sleep well without her next to him. Sure, once he was on the set, things were fine. Find your mark, say your lines, and keep it professional. But after the shoot, he was lonely as hell. He needed to talk to her right away. Maybe he could convince her to fly out. Maybe he could figure out a way to let her know he needed her there to hold him without sounding like some pathetic little wimp.

He called her back and got her voice mail. She hadn’t even changed it to reflect her last message. Josh felt a dull, churning pain in his stomach, and he breathed deeply, forcing the anxiety at bay. Only a few more days of shooting…

He was tempted to get back into his gi uniform and head upstairs to work out some more, but he was expected on the set and couldn’t afford to be late. This director had mucho pull in Hollywood and was a stickler for saving time and money. Josh continued to get dressed, and then stopped and leaned against the locker.

“Dammit, Cindy.”

The loneliness ripped through him again, leaving him feeling like a ghost. He never admitted to anyone, not even her, how much he relied on her being with him. He could make other people’s scripts ring out as truth, but when it came to his own feelings? He loved her, and yeah, there had been other women-- just girls here and there who had been willing to ease his tension when the stress and anxiety would reach a peak and he became vulnerable. He was careful about what he ate and drank, because if he let himself go, his career and life would go too, as it had for a couple of his immediate family members. Discipline was his friend, but it was hard, really hard not to take up the offers of various women to ease his fear a little. Sex used up calories, didn’t they?

Now fully dressed, he stood in front of the mirror and casually ran a comb through his short, black hair. The hairdresser would do her thing with it before he got in front of the camera. He looked at himself, and stifled the impulse was to smash the face looking back at him in the mirror. No matter how many articles got written about his looks or his talent, he knew he knew deep down he was a loser. When he looked at himself he still saw the fat, little asthmatic boy of his childhood. Weak and vulnerable, afraid of his own shadow, he hadn’t changed. Okay, maybe on the outside, but in him the terrified, ugly little child ruled.

“Cindy,” her name slipped out, halfway between a blessing and a curse.

He climbed the stairs from the basement locker rooms and flashed a smile at the girls around the juice bar. Waving a friendly hand, he was grateful that in Hollywood stars and pretty faces were a dime a dozen. He was well known in daytime television for his various roles, and he’d been nominated twice for an Emmy, but out here, you were nothing until Variety and the box office take said you were.

The studio had given him a limo. They didn’t want to risk their supporting actor getting lost on the freeways of LA. The Dojo was actually only a ten-minute walk from the studio, but that was the way studio execs thought. Josh was no more than so much talent to be kept happy and working until he was no longer needed. And that would be a while. There would be all the post-production work and then his contract specified exactly how much he’d put into being on various talk shows and other media to boost the film when it came out.

He wasn’t a bime lme like the lead, but the execs could sniff possible stardom on him-- his edginess, the need for approval, the need to excel. He would their boy until they said he wasn’t anymore.

In many ways, Josh liked being a box office unknown. He liked the challenge of proving himself as a newbie. But more than that, once on the set, he’d be free again. Free to be someone else, someone he liked and not the fat, little Irish boy of his childhood. Unfortunately once he’d made his mark, the pressure would start all over. Soap operas had lost their appeal for that reason; he’d proven himself there. Now he wanted more muc much more.

Cindy, I need you to hold me. I’m being good, like I promised. Please don’t leave me again.

Fear ground at his bones, chilling him in spite of the warmth of the day. He looked out the window and licked at a bruised knuckle. He watched as the studio gates pulled into view.

The chauffer tipped his hat and opened the back door of the limo for Josh to get out. An assistant was waiting for him at the parking lot. His job there was to insure that all went smooth as silk for the day’s filming.

And it would-- because Josh Connor was a professional.

Linden Haywood, veteran actor and one of the highest paid African American performers in Hollywood, sat down in the make up chair next to Josh. He stretched out his long legs and smiled.

“How’re doin’ me boy-o?” he said in a perfect Dublin accent.

Josh blew out his tension and forced himself to smile. “To be honest, I’m a bit worried about the second scene coming up today. Care to rehearse a bit?” Josh always felt the rookie with Lin. But that was okay, he thought, use it. He’d been cast as a rookie cop straight man to Lin’s perfect comedic timing in this buddy film. The nice thing about Josh’s role was that he turned bad right at the end. It had been quite a few years since he got to play a villain and he was hoping to hit just the right tone. They shot out of sequence, and today was no different. But, today was scheduled the big denouement scene which was towards the end of the film when Josh would re him himself and his true colors.

“Don’t think so. You did fine at yesterday’s run through. I liked your timing yesterday and I don’t want to see it get stale.” Lin closed his eyes and let the make-up girl start.

Josh nodded. Coming from Lin that was a great complement. He felt a small shiver run through him. It was an honor to work with the grand old man, but tried not to seem to awe struck.

He felt his cell phone go off and he took it out holding his hand up to his make-up girl who grinned and stuck her tongue out at him before going for some coffee. She’d been flirting with him during the whole shoot and if he were to let himself indulge in a bit of—Josh shook his head. None of that, now, he thought, such thoughts on such a day.

“She fancies you,” Lin said, eyes still closed.

Josh opened the phone, hoping it was Cindy.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Rachel his agent purred in her sexiest voice.

Josh felt his stomach cramp. He really should have had breakfast before getting his make up on. He covered up the speaker and waved to his assistant.

“Oatmeal, with a touch of honey and skim milk.” The assistant hurried off.

“Hi, Rachel.” Josh’s stomach rumbled and Lin gave a deep, rumbling laugh. Josh transferred the phone to his other hand. “Doing fine. We should be wrapping up right on schedule.”

“That’s good. Say, while you’re out here, I thought I’d just line up a few auditions—“

“Look, love. We agreed that if I missed my wedding I’d get to take some time off and make it up to Cindy. You know what today is?” A touch of reproach entered his voice.

“Umm, well it’s not Valentine’s Day, that was last week.”

“We were supposed to tie the knot.”

“Oh. Oh, Cindy didn’t mention it.”

The assistant arrived with a bowl of granola and Josh rolled his eyes. The assistant mouthed, they were out.

“You spoke to Cindy? Today?” Josh kept his voice light and airy.

“Didn’t she tell you? Yes, she said she’d be out of town, working on her one-woman show. So, who’s her collaborator?”

Josh swallowed. “She’s doing it solo. I’ve been reading her script and it’s damn good.” He waited.

“Funny, I was sure I heard a man’s voice in the background,” Rachel sounded very pleased with herself.

“Probably the decorator. We aren’t too happy with the new place. It’s too drafty, needs warming up. Well, that’s my cue.” Lin lifted an eyebrow at the blatant lie.

“So I can’t convince you to stay out there a few extra weeks? It would be good for your career,” she added a bit of a cold steel to the velvet tone.

“Sorry. Me and my gal are going to find ourselves a little bit of paradise to hide away in.” He actually hadn’t planned anything at all, but once the words left his lips, he knew that was exactly what he wanted for them.

“Well, how sweet. Ta-ta.” The receiver clattered rather noisily in Josh’s ear.

“That’s good to hear.” Lin said.

Josh put away his phone and picked up the bowl of granola. It was way too sweet for his taste.

“I was afraid that you two might have broken up.”

“Thanks for the faith.”

“Actually, got to see her perform once in an Off-off Broadway showcase some years back. One of my nephew’s was in it.”

Josh nodded.

“Talented girl. Should go far.”

“You’re right.” Josh remembered how his career had gone well for years based on her neglecting her own. In college he’d had to bribe the student director of Much Ado About Nothing their senior year to cast her as Beatrice to his own Benedict. Everyone admitted that the chemistry between them had sizzled. She’d been great in the role. He never understood why her unusual looks held her back. He found her exotic and exciting. Why couldn’t others see her as he did?

“She’s a keeper,” Lin took off his make-up cape and stood up. “Send me some pictures from your tropical paradise honeymoon.” He chuckled as he walked away “See you on the set.”

Josh finished his cereal. “Will do, Lin.” Tropical, Lin had said. Yeah. He’d call his travel agent during their lunch break and have them messenger over some brochures. Tahiti maybe, or perhaps some place no one had ever heard of? He was feeling better, having half convinced himself that the man’s voice in the background had to be the designer. After all, who else could it be?


The day was long and grueling. The scenscene was shot five different ways, so the director and the editor would be able to pick and choose the best version. It was rare for this director to use so much film on one scene, but it probably would work to Josh’s advantage.

Josh stretched out in bed and phoned Cindy one more time. He didn’t understand why she hadn’t taken her cell phone. Was she angry with him? He played the message over again in his mind. She’d sounded excited and nervous and she used ums to buy herself time to think, so her message had been off the cuff.

Josh tossed in bed and finally he took a sleeping pill. It was herbal recommended by their naturopath. Within a few moments he was asleep and dreaming.

Josh had only been to Ireland once in his life. He remembered how lush the grass and all the greenery was, almost as if he’d been living his existence in black and white and suddenly he’d walked into a Technicolor world. He felt at home there, like he’d returned after a long, long absence. And yet, in the dream something was off. The sparkle was a bit too intense, the colors too bright. It wasn’t Ireland. The sun was setting behind him and he walked through the meadow, not sure where he was headed, but simply enjoying himself. The shadows grew longer and he felt his first twinge of uneasiness. It was the gloaming and Josh wondered he whe was there and what he should be doing with himself. There was a forest at the edge of the meadow and he felt drawn there. He walked and watched the moon rise. The chatter of birds bedding down for the night allayed any fears he had and then he smelt the smoke from a campfire. It was coming from the woods and he headed in the direction using he sense of smell.

After walking about ten minutes on a smooth path he saw ahead of him a campfire in the center of a circle of trees. He smiled. He was glad that he wasn’t alone anymore. He heard her laughter before he saw her.

Cindy! He almost slipped on some damp leaves under his feet, but caught himself.

“Cindy!” He laughed and then froze as he came to the rim of the glade. His woman was kissing another man. They were standing together and she was almost as tall as he was. He wanted to stride forward, break them up, but he was paralyzed. He wanted to call out to her, yet the words wouldn’t come.

She was stroking the stranger on his face and then lower to his neck and arms. Again he heard her laughter, light and joyous. She undid the buttons to the man’s shirt and threw the garment down. Josh felt his breath catch in his throat. He shook his head.

The man reached up and grabbed the tunic that she was wearing. There was a sharp sound of material ripping and then she stood naked in front of the stranger. He grabbed her by her hair and pushed his mouth onto hers. Josh heard her whimper in pain. His mouth formed the words, “No.” But again he was frozen and no sound emerged. He saw Cindy kneeling in front of him and undoing the rope belt that was around the man’s waist. He pants came down, pooling around his feet and he kicked them off, leaving him naked with his sex organ rampant.

Josh tried to look away as Cindy lifted the man’s cock to her mouth. He couldn’t. The man gave out a gasp as her lips encircled him. His fingers entwined in her shoulder length dark hair and he set up a rhythm for her to suck him. Josh felt nauseous. How many times had he performed the act with other women than Cindy? This had to be hell he was in. He was grateful when the man brusquely jerked her mouth off of him.

Cindy lay back and touched herself between her legs, spreading her wetness glistening in the firelight. Josh again tried to vocalize the word no, struggled with all his might to move even one muscle. His body would simply not obey him.

He crouched down between her legs and she brought her arms up to embrace him. And then Josh heard the man speak one word, “Cynthia.” It was Josh’s voice coming from the stranger.

And Cindy replied, “Yes, yes.” And he brought his large body down over her, nuzzling her neck and then kissing her mouth. After a few minutes he raised himself up over her body and slipped his hand down between them to guide his length into her. Josh listened to his beloved moan with ecstasy and he tasted salt tears that had crept into his mouth.

The man thrust himself again and again into her willing body. And then he stopped. He pulled out of her and she made a moue of disappointment. He pulled her hips up and then turned her over. She presented her buttocks to him, gently swaying her hips in an enticing manner. Josh gasped as he watched the man transform into something between a man andolf.olf. His arms elongated and his head changed shape; it’s mouth protruding into a muzzle. The man’s hind legs also lengthened into haunches. A lolling tongue slid out of the creature’s mouth and then stiffened to taste her sex. Josh tried to close his eyes, but failed and he was forced to watch a much longer and thicker penis, with a swollen knot at its base glide into his fiancée.

The thing whimpered as it entered her and she let forth a scream when it rammed itself fully into hert’s t’s clawed hands scraped along her back and sides, letting forth ribbons of dark blood shimmering in the firelight. It rutted for long minutes. And then with a howl it’s body convulsed and pushed even deeper into her. It withdrew his penis from her and hunched over to it licked itself clean. She moved over to him and kissed its monstrous head. Her eyes were filled with love for the creature and Josh took a shuddering breath. She caressed its sex lovingly.

The creature shimmered and went through a reverse transformation. It looked up at Josh, with Josh’s eyes in Josh’s face, in his own body. It looked directly at Josh and grinned wolfishly.

Josh woke up with a grunt, to find himself erect and pulsing. There was a warm wet sticky spot on his mattress and legs. Suddenly his gorge rose and he ran to the bathroom holding his mouth. He just got to the toilet before the contents of his stomach spewed out. He heaved and heaved again, acrid liquid burning his sinuses.

He woke up some time later, his body stiff and sore from lying on the cold tiling of the bathroom floor. Soaked in sweat, he couldn’t summon the strength to get up. His body was still wracked with tremors. He closed his eyes and more time passed.

The next time he awoke he was worried. He had an early shoot to get to. He half crawled, half walked from the bathroom to his nightstand and found the assistant’s card. Philo Stiles. The image of a small, ratlike man with a scraggly beard mouthing to him “no more oatmeal” came to mind. With a shaking finger, he managed to dial the number. He slid down to the floor with the bed supporting his back.

“Hello?” Philo’s voice was sleepy and mildly annoyed.

Josh swallowed and tried to get the words to come.

“Hello? Fuck, Bill if this is one of your practical jokes, I swear—“

“Sick.” Josh mumbled the word and was scared that Philo would hang up.

“Who is this?”

“Josh,” his voice sounded hollow like it was from a distance.

“Oh shit. Where are you? You aren’t drunk?” A string of explicative followed that Josh couldn’t quite make out and then, “Are you at the hotel?”

Josh nodded and the room spun. “Yes.”

“I’ll be right there. Hang on.”

The room got noticeable darker and Josh let go.

“Josh? Mr. Connor? Oh fucking shit, come on wake up. The doctor’s on his way.”

Josh tried to make his eyes open, but they kept sticking together. He drifted.

“Thanks for getting here so quickly.”

Josh heard a rumbling sound, which could have been another voice.

“Yes, I called-- No, I just work for the studio like you do. Would you help me get him on the bed?”

Josh thought maybe he should say something. That he’d had these fits when he was younger. His grandaunt had called them something, he forgot the term, but they were always accompanied by strange dreams and visions. And they were another reason, besides loving her that he needed Cindy close by. He never got the spells when she was around. They had returned when she left him last year.

The voice of their couple’s therapist, Susan, came to him, “She didn’t leave you, did she?”

He wanted to crawl into a ball and die.

“She didn’t leave you, did she?”

No. He shook his head. No. I threw her out. I thought I might kill her because I couldn’t take the way she looked at me. So disappointed and so betrayed. I threw her out, packed up her stuff and got rid of her.

“Mr. Connor, do you have a history of epilepsy?”

He blinked against the bright light shining into his eyes. He didn’t know how to answer.

“Couldn’t it be the flu?” chimed in Philo. “How about food poisoning?”

“I’m going to take a bit of blood.”

“Hey, do you have the legal right to do that?” Philo sounded outraged.

“It could be meningitis. He’s sweating a lot. I just want to rule some things out.”

Josh tried to open his eyes.

“Looks like he’s coming around,” said Philo.

“I… I’m fine.” Josh’s throat was sore and he’s voice was weak. “Who are you?”

“It’s Philo, your assistant. I brought out one of the studio doctors.”

“What?” Josh opened his eyes and the hotel room swum round a few times before it came into focus. He was lying on top of his bed with a sheet pulled over him. There was Philo, looking more disheveled than usual and there was a portly man with graying hair, wearing a black suit. He had a syringe out.

“I wanted to take some blood,” said the man. “I’m Dr. Eugene Markowitz. The studio keeps me on retainer.”

“You were going to test for drugs?”

“It helps if we can keep these things out of the paper.”

“Don’t bother, it was a problem with something I ate.” He stared at the drapes in the window. They had a periwinkle blue and pale salmon pink design. Vaguely, he noted how they reflected the colors of the clouds in the sky as the sun rose over the city.

“A food allergy?”

“Yeah,” actually it was his cousin, Charlotte, who had an allergy to cheese, but it seemed pretty good as far as excuses go, better than blaming it on having second sight as his grandaunt called it.

The doctor got up from the chair next to Josh’s bed. “There was nothing in your records about food allergies, or allergies of any kind.” His voice was gruff.

Josh’s head was still throbbing, “It’s been years since I had an attack, so I don’t even think about it. I don’t know how it happened.”

The doctor nodded. “Well, I want you to take something to settle your stomach. I’ll be calling the studio to give you the morning off. Do you need pain relief?”

“I’ve got aspirin.”

“Too harsh on the stomach.” The doctor started writing on a pad, he then tore off the page and gave it to Philo. “Get this script filled at the drugstore around the corner. And have him drink something to get his electrolytes up. Gatorade.”

“Ugh.” Josh swallowed hard.

“Or maybe just plain Pedialyte, that’s without flavoring.”

“Thanks.” Josh closed his eyes.

“Okay, I’ll be right on it.” Philo looked down Josh. “You’ll be fine. I’m sure they can shoot around you this morning. Good thing you called when you did.” He gave Josh’s hand a little pat and hurried out of the room.

Josh attempted a smile that he didn’t feel.

“Please don’t get insulted, but it’s better that I do a blood draw and check—“

“For God’s sake, do I look like I take drugs?”

Dr. Markowitz smiled. “No, just trying to cover my ass with our bosses. You do seem to be getting better by the second. Did you take anything last night?”

“Just a herbal remedy, to help me sleep.”

“Show it to me.”

Josh pointed to the brown bottle of pills by his bed. The doctor examined the bottle. “I don’t hold with this natural crap. Hops, oatstraw, lemon verbena, lavender, wild lettuce, chamomile & California poppy—Poppy! You’re lucky I didn’t test for drugs.”

“So you trust the pharmaceutical industry?”

The doctor grimaced. “Well, if something goes wrong, they have deeper pockets if you want to sue. So yeah, I trust them.” He leaned down and took Josh’s pulse. “Much better than when I got here.”

“You can leave then.”

He sat down. “It’s my job to nurse you through this. Studio loses money whenever the schedule gets a glitch. Don’t worry, I’m being well paid.”

“As you wish.” He closed his eyes and slept.

He was back in the glade again. He was lying next to Cindy and they had just made love.

“I missed you,” he kissed her gently and stroked back her hair.

“But I haven’t been gone.”

“Did you forget? You were with him. I watched you.” He blinked back tears of anger and sadness.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about—“

Josh felt himself being shaken awake. He looked up at Philo.

“Sorry to wake you there, big guy. I’ve got the prescription and you need to drink the Pedialyte. Sorry, I could only get bubblegum flavor. But you still have to take it-- doctor’s orders and no complaining.”

“What time is it?”

“A bit past 8 AM. Pharmacy didn’t open until 7:20. Don’t worry, everything’s fine. We just have to get you together.”

Josh moved his head and was relieved to find that it didn’t feel filled with shards of glass. He took the pill and the cup of bubblegum electrolytes, swallowed and made a face. “Thanks. I’m feeling better. Did the doc leave?”
“Yeah, he’s on another house call. Regular hangover, he gives a lot of B-12 shots to stars at this time of day.”

“So I didn’t get the royal treatment then,” he tried to laugh, but it was more a snort.

“Wow. You really had me going there.” Philo perched on the bottom of his bed. “You were so out of it, but look at you now.”

“Out of it?”

Philo blushed. “You miss your girlfriend a lot.”

“Fiancé.” He looked down. “You know a shower would be good. I feel like something you scrape off the bottom of your shoes.”

Philo jumped up. “Sure, I’ll just call room service while you’re in there. Doctor wanted me to get you to eat something light—like an omelet.”

Josh felt his stomach give a nasty turn. “Let’s take it slow. I don’t have to be in until after lunch.”

“Before lunch, 11:30. But they promised the doc to keep it a short day.”

Josh realized that he wasn’t wearing anything under the sheet that had been thrown over him. “I’ll just shower.” He wrapped the sheet like a toga around him. He didn’t know why he was feeling so shy. He was used to locker rooms and people looking at his body.

Then again maybe it wasn’t shyness at all, he just felt naked, as if his soul was hanging out and revealed to the world.