Of Truth and Trust

Chapter 2

Nathanial spent a pleasant evening in the common room with several other boys in his class, studying and getting help from Christopher. They finished relatively early, and he accepted an invitation from the older boy to go play a round hesshess. Christopher’s roommate, Reuben, was out, giving them some privacy—it was the best chance Nathanial would have to talk to his new friend.

“Christopher?” he asked between moves. “Would you mind horribly if I asked you a few things? About Sebastian.”

Christopher blinked, and though he wasn’t all that surprised by the question it still gave him a chill. //So, he’s finally noticing.// “Not at all,” he replied easily, though his pleasant expression from a moment before sobered somewhat, so that Nathanial would know he was taking this seriously. “Has he been coming in late?”

Blinking, Nathanial nodded. “Yes, he has.” //Does he hear Sebastian come in?// He moved his Knight, though he wasn’t really paying much attention to the game anymore. “Going for walks, he says.”

Christopher frowned as he considered his next move, in the game and his friend. //I should tell him everything. If he knows, maybe…he’ll be safe.// He regarded the boy across from him with a sympathetic eye. //I don’t want him to get hurt.//

The elder boy sat back, having abandoned the chess game. Slowly he removed his glasses. “Nathan. There are…some things you should know, about Sebastian. He’s not just going for walks. He….” His fingers curled. “He’s been meeting people.”

Nathanial nodded, sitting back as well. “He has said that as well,” he confessed. He spread his fingers through his stiff, slicked back hair. //But, somehow…his expression tells me there’s more. What could he be referring to?// “Christopher…I know it’s really none of my business, but he could get in trouble if he was caught, right? And his schoolwork will suffer, too.”

Christopher smiled grimly. “You might be surprised. For all of his excursions, he’s always managed to stay as one of the top students academically.” He glanced away. “And he won’t be caught. You should worry more about yourself than him.” And before Nathanial could respond the words fell from him, words he’d never heard himself say before. “Sebastian is a homosexual, Nathan. He comes back late at night because he’s been carrying on affairs with the other students.”

Nathanial jerked back in surprise, hands falling to the seat of his chair. “He’s….” //A homosexual? But…but that’s….// That sort of thing wasn’t supposed to be happening—especially not in this kind of school. Even just sex was….

He shook his head. “Christopher, are you absolutely sure?” //It can’t be true, can it? Something like this can’t be.// “I mean, not that I doubt you, but to make such an accusation is….” //Dangerous. If any of the teachers found out….//

“I’m sure,” Christopher answered too quickly. He placed his hands on the table and interlocked his fingers, to keep them from trembling. “Everyone knows it; it’s just that nobody talks about it. And I know what you’re thinking—this is the last place on you’d think such a thing could occur. But….” He sighed. “You deserve to know. The truth is, it’s likely that the teachers know what he does. However, they can’t do anything; it would ruin the reputation of the school.”

//Well, I can understand t but but….// Nathanial ducked his head, looking away as he tried to come to terms with the sudden announcement. //It…certainly doesn’t sound like there’s anything I can do. And it’s not like he’s bringing anyone to the room, so….// Still feeling a bit faint, Nathanial nodded. “Thank you, for telling me. I suppose he’s been enjoying my not knowing, but…it’s okay.” He nodded again, reaffirming his statement. “Yes, now that I know, I’ll just have to accept it.”

Christopher’s eyes opened a little wider, surprised by the boy’s sudden acceptance of the situation. //I wonder if he really understands his own position.// “There’s…more,” he began hesitantly, forcing himself to meet and hold Nathanial’s gaze. “You should prepare yourself, in case he turns his attentions on you.”

Nathanial was quiet another moment before he replied. “Well, it really shouldn’t be a problem, because I’m not like that.” //Yes, that’s all there is to it. I’m not…a homosexual…so everything will be fine.// “If it comes up, I’ll just explain to him that I’m not that way, and he can just move on.” Leaning forward, he moved one of his Bishops into a more promising position.

//I hope you’re strong enough to uphold that.// But Christopher didn’t comment, turning his gaze down to the board once more. “Oh—it was still my turn,” he said with a chuckle, nudging Nathanial’s piece back. He smiled with good humor as he moved one of his pawns, but paused, not wanting to end the issue so easily. “Just…when you go back tonight, ask Sebastian what he thinks of you,” he suggested. “What…‘type’ he thinks you are. Then you’ll understand what kind of a person he is.”

“Type?” Nathanial chose a different piece to move this time, then glanced up from the board. “What do you mean by ‘type’?”

“Just ask him,” Christopher urged. He knew it wasn’t fair for him to send Nathanial into it not knowing anything, but he kind of hoped that Sebastian would shock him, and...encourage him to keep his distance. “He’ll explain everything, and then…you’ll understand.” He moved his knight. “Checkmate.”

Nathanial peered down at the board. //Wait, but…no. No, he got me.// “Checkmate,” he conceded, flopping back into his chair with a laugh. He brushed back his hair with a sigh. “Good game. I think I’d better head to bed before you hurt my pride some more.” Smiling, he rose to leave. //And….// “Christopher….” He paused, hand on the doorknob. “I’ll remember what you’ve said, though…I’m sure it will be fine.” Offering a quick smile over his shoulder, he waved and slipped out into the hall. “Good night!”

“Nathan—” But by then he was already gone, and Christopher let his shoulders sag with a sigh. “Good luck, Nathan,” he murmured, rubbing at his eyes. “You…might need it.”

Sebastian was studying in his room when Nathanial returned, and he greeted him with a wave. “Welcome back. Were you at confession or something?” His eyes glinted playfully as he took a bite out of a ripe pear.

Shaking his head, Nathanial toed out of his shoes, setting them in front of his wardrobe before dropping into his desk chair. “No, Christopher and I were playing chess. Or rather, I was suffering an embarrassing defeat at his hands. I’m afraid I’m rather awful at that game.” //Mostly from never playing it with another person.// He began to organize his own books, not sure if he really wanted to start studying again but wanting to at least appear busy.

Sebastian chuckled. “Ah, yes, he is something of a legend among us underclassmen. He’s not yet met his match in the game.” Sebastian flopped onto his back and lifted his book over his head, wondering if a different angle would aid his understanding. His lip curled. “And that isn’t even the greatest of his talents.”

“Oh?” Nathanial pulled out some paper, beginning to copy down terms he would need to start studying by the next day. “I suppose he is an equally amazing pianist? Everyone here seems to have some kind of musical talent.” //I…want to ask, but it could be a big problem if Christopher is wrong. Not that I doubt him….//

“You could say I’m a fan of his voice, if nothing else,” Sebastian offered with another soft chuckle. He didn’t want to linger on the subject too long, though, in case he said something unnecessary. He cocked an eye. “You look like something’s on your mind. Was it that awful a defeat?”

He smiled down at his paper. “It was rather embarrassing, I suppose you could say. Of course, it didn’t help that I was somewhat distracted.” Glancing back at his roommate, he realized that the other would certainly question such a statement. //So I might as well keep going.// “I was a bit worried about you, to tell you the truth, as you’ve been out late so often.”

Sebastian’s lips parted around a pleased grin. “Worried about me? That’s adorable.” And he laughed. “Thank you for the concern, Nate, but you don’t need to bother yourself so much. I can take care of myself.” //Absolutely charming.//

Nathanial shrugged. “I know. But then, I don’t know you as well as Christopher does, so I just wanted to make sure.” //I can’t bring it up. It would be so rude.// He returned to his work. “In any case, he said your work’s never suffered, and I have likewise been passing, so in the end I suppose it is fine.”

This time Sebastian’s eyes thinned slightly, though his smile did not falter. “So. What exactly did Christopher have to say about me?” he asked with genuine curiosity. //I didn’t think he had the audacity to say anything. Maybe I underestimated him a little.//

//Probably best to be honest.// Nathanial kept his eyes on his work, determined to make as light of the situation as possible. “I asked him why you were out so late, and mentioned that you said you were meeting others. He simply clarified your…preferences, I suppose. I said I was worried about your classes suffering, and he assured me that you always kept your grades up and were careful about getting caught, so….” He shrugged again, starting a new page.

“Is that so.” //A warning, huh? I didn’t give you enough credit, Christopher.// He watched Nathanial out of the corner of his eye. //But you couldn’t have told him everything. Nothing to incriminate yourself.// He chuckled. “And I suppose you’re quite scandalized by the entire affair…?”

That…caused him to pause. “Well, I can’t say I entirely approve,” he admitted slowly, carefully. “All the trouble of getting caught out at night aside, it’s not exactly an act of faith.” He glanced oves shs shoulder. “But…you don’t strike me as the kind of person who would change simply because I didn’t approve. And it really is none of my business what you do in your personal time. You’ve never brought such issues into this room, so it doesn’t concern me.” Turning back to his work, Nathanial tried to hide a bit of pride in himself for sounding so reasonable despite the situation.

Sebastian’s smile tipped cruelly. “And if I did?” he asked, just as calmly.

He didn’t need to consider an answer to that. “I would ask you to take your business elsewhere,” he replied evenly. “It’s not appropriate, and so long as you don’t involve me, I can pretend that nothing’s happening and not get you into trouble.”

“How virtuous of you. Just like everyone else in the Academy.” Sebastian let go of his book so that it fell with a dull clunk against his chest. He folded his hands over it. “Christopher started out saying the same thing--is that really all he told you?” His voice tilted humorously. “I won’t be irritated. He couldn’t have told you anything I wouldn’t have said myself, had you come to me first.”

“He did mention you would say that.” Giving up his study sheet, Nathanial turned in his chair to face his roommate. “Listen, I told him it was none of my business, and it’s not. If there’s something you think I should know about you, then I shall listen.” He ran a hand back over his hair.

Sebastian considered him a moment. //He’s pretty calm. He’s…not worried about me, then.// “All right. Maybe there is something.” He reached into the drawer next to his bed and removed a small, black leather bound journal and tossed it to his roommate. “Take a look. I’m sure you’ll find some names you know.”

Nathanial caught the book and, glancing at his roommate curiously, opened it. There were several pages filled with names, and he did recognize a few of them. Next to each name was a letter—A, B, or C—and many had either one or two checks next to that. Nearly a dozen had been crossed off. After a moment he recognized Christopher’s name with a letter B and two checks. //What is this?// He tried to puzzle it out a moment longer before finding his own name—another B. “Sebastian….” //Are these…they’re ‘types?’// “What is all of this?” he asked with a concerned look.

“All the interesting people in school,” Sebastian said with a tilt of his head. “I keep track of them, you know. There are only three kinds of people that attend an Academy like this.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “Those that are sinners and know it, those that are sinners and don’t, and those that are pure, but wish they weren’t by the time I’m through with them.” He fixed Nathanial with a cool gaze.

Nathanial stared down at the book again. “A, B, and C, I assume…” he murmured. //So he thinks…I’m a sinner? And Christopher?// It was then that he noticed several teachers’ names mixed in with the students, and he was suddenly very worried to know what the checkmarks meant. “Why…would you say stuff like this?” he asked, not sure he wanted to know but needing to at the same time.

“Because it’s true, and no one else will say it,” Sebastian replied easily, rolling onto his side to better face the other. He propped his head up on his palm. “For someone like me all it takes is a look to know. And I’m always right. That’s why there are so many checks.” His eyes gleamed almost dangerously in the lamplight. //That’s right, Nathanial. Even you. You’ll learn, soon enough.//

Nathanial resisted the urge to look down at the book again—he wouldn’t be able to figure out what the checks meant, and after everything else…he didn’t think he wanted to know. //And now he’s testing me,// he realized, fingers curling around the dark binding. //Playing. Maybe even from the beginning.//

But if there was one thing he learned in his lonely house, it was that he didn’t have to play if he didn’t want to. Standing up, he purposefully shut the book and set it gently on the desk. “Well, I suppose that sort of talent makes things easier on you.” He turned towards his wardrobe and began to change for bed.

Sebastian again paused to watch the boy carefully. //He’s not going to ask. He’s not going to question.// He smirked. //Maybe Christopher didn’t warn him enough. Or he’s even more of a B than I thought.// “I’m surprised you’re taking this so well,” he confessed. Slowly, so that every shift of fabric in the quiet room was well heard, he sat up and began to remove his shirt. “I couldn’t say the same about my last roommate.”

He shrugged easily, peeling out of his vest and shirt and pulling on his nightgown. “What would my alternative be? Not accept it? You’ve been a pleasant enough roommate, you don’t flaunt your ‘affairs,’ as you say. I do not have a problem then.” //Or maybe I do, but I am certainly not going to let it get to me. Christopher…is almost scared of him. There’s no reason to be, and I’m not going to let him frighten me.//

Sebastian couldn’t help but laugh. “If you say so, Nate.” He stood so he could slip out of his pants, dropping them aside. He didn’t bother to change into his nightshirt as he climbed back into bed and tugged the blankets up to his chest. “Though I have to admit I’m a little disappointed—it’s kind of enjoyable, getting under people’s skin.” He rubbed absently at his stomach. “But then, one Christopher is enough for one school, I think.”

Nathanial decided to let that one pass as well—he would ask Christopher himself, later. Stripping off his pants and socks, he moved to his own bed. “I’m turning this off,” he announced, not waiting for a reply before sending the room into darkness. His glasses were set on the table next before he climbed into bed. “Good night, Sebastian.”

Still grinning, Sebastian closed hies aes and shifted in the bed. “Good night, Nathanial,” he all but sung. //I’ll give you a little more time to get used to it.//

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