Dangerously Illogical

Dangerously Illogical

By Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)

Chapter One: Obsession


Perched high above the street in the large oak tree, I continued to watch her apartment as dawn slowly approached. I was aware I had to get back, and yet I was reluctant to leave my place.

I was always reluctant to leave.

It was getting harder and harder each morning. It was increasingly frustrating every time I saw her. My girl. My beautiful, vibrant, blonde, ordinary human woman.

Ordinary.

What had possessed me?

Why could I not rid myself of this damn obsession for someone so… out of my reach?

This one woman had driven me to distraction, driven me to…hiding in shadows as I waited for her to emerge from the hospital where she worked. She had driven me to following her every moment she stayed out past dark. And she had driven me to stay outside her bedroom window for the rare glimpses I would see of her body as she changed.

I was obsessed.

And I didn't care.

It was maddening and fulfilling, all at once. It was destroying me, and yet giving me this odd sort of rebirth every night. I didn't know if I should just push myself to avoid what had become my nightly ritual, or if I should simply… approach her.

The woman with no name.

The woman whose face I had only glimpsed that very first night seven months before. A summer night, when her coat had been gone, and her face had been clear to me.

Some things seemed to defy even the most logical of minds.

I was obsessed.

And I relished it.

Dawn was nearing, I sensed. I had only a few more moments to stay in that tree. I had only a few more moments to watch her dark bedroom. A few more moments to stay as close to heaven as I was allowed to get.

After all, the damned weren't allowed such things.

I stared into the dark violet curtains of her apartment bedroom for as long as I could. I waited until it was almost too late, and then I dropped from the tree, effortlessly landing on my feet. And with one more glance up at her window, I turned and disappeared into the fading shadows, intent on getting back as quickly as I could.

Before dawn came and destroyed me.


~~~

It was not waking. It was not slowly becoming aware after being asleep.

It was coming alive.

It was a jolt. I was dead. Nothing. I remembered nothing but lying down as dawn came… and then sitting up, completely alert. It was not sleep. It was death.

It was the way of life for one of the undead. It was the way vampires rested.

It was the way.

Nothing would change it, and nothing would disrupt it. It was the way. And had been the way for as long as vampires had existed. It was shocking each night to suddenly be there. Know nothing one second, then the next, complete awareness, completely…there.

And knowing that only moments before… I had been dead, in hell. Gone.

Rarely, very rarely, vampires would 'dream'. Only it wasn't so much a dream, but remembering what had happened while one had been dead. Wherever your soul had been sent.

I dreamt once or twice.

I feared the vampire dream.

I had known nothing of real sleep before my existence. I was not born. I was not made. I just…came to be. I was one of the first. I was one of the oldest. I was one of the most powerful.

I was a god among our kind.

And I had a weakness.

For the first time in millennia, I now had a weakness. A way to get to me. A way to hurt me. A way to destroy me.

And I did not care.

I was obsessed.

I put my existence at risk.

I did not care.

No one would know.

Ever.

I was too good to be followed; I was too old to be sensed; I was too damn invisible to anyone I wished to hide from. My obsession would remain secret. My girl would remain… ordinary.

I hated it.

But it was necessary.

I shrugged the thoughts out of my mind. It was another night. Another night of watching, another night of almost frenzied feeding as I waited, and another night I would ponder how absolutely insane I had become.

Another night, just like any other night.

One would hope.

I sat up from the bed – my deathbed – and effortlessly swung my legs over the side. Most humans assumed my kind sleep in coffins. It was not so. At least, not so with the ones who just…were. Those who became contaminated by us did, however. Those were the weak ones. The weak underlings. They were the ones the clichés came from. They were the ones that gave us our bad name.

I was unsure why the tainted ones had to sleep in coffins. I had never bothered to research it. I did not care for them in my domain, and rarely tolerated them the few times I had come across them elsewhere. The foul beasts had some odd… habits and weaknesses that made no sense to me. Sleeping in coffins, holy water, and garlic deadly, as well as silver, and stakes through the heart. All the stuff of legends were true.

Only with regards to them. Odd.

Glancing at a mirror as I passed, I paused to watch my reflection. I had no idea where the reflection myth came from. Anything that is tangible in this plane has a reflection. If one can see it with the naked eye, a reflection can be cast. Humans were stupid.

I was perfectly groomed, as usual. The dead did not toss in their…'sleep'. My long, black hair fell straight past my shoulders. As it had since I became. I could not cut it. I could not grow it. I could not style it any differently. I came into being exactly as I had, and it refused to change.

My skin was, of course, pale. Not deathly pasty, but pale. It hadn't changed either. Simply… pale. My eyes were pale as well, but a pale violet color. An odd color had I been human. But I find that I liked them. I liked how I looked. I was… beautiful. Not handsome, that was for human males. I was beautiful, and I knew it. I was graceful. I was perfect in every aspect.

It was truth, not conceit.

I had lived a long time. One has time to get used to their looks over so many years, and even more, one has time to enjoy the effect of one's appearance. I was…godly. And I knew it. I used it. I was not ashamed of it. It was one of my weapons.

I relished it.

Vampires were not all beautiful creatures, however. The tainted ones were instead…. mindless, decaying beasts. Hardly pleasing on the eyes. And very few of the old ones held as much beauty as I did. Humans were funny little creatures. The myths and partial truths they had learned throughout the ages when vampires were considered a very real threat to them were twisted into some sort of sick, half-sexual fantasy.

All vampires were gorgeous seducers according to the novels. All were beautiful. All slept inside of black coffins, and atop red velvet. All had dark hair, dark eyes, and a red-tinted mouth. All were vulnerable to a stake through the heart, holy water, garlic, and daylight.

All were deadly once they seduced you.

It was almost laughable.

Yet, it served me well enough. I fit into those molds, if only partially. I was beautiful and pale. I was the image of what humans viewed as a 'true' mythical vampire.

But of course, we no longer existed to the science-minded humans now. They scoffed at superstition, they looked down about flights of fancy, and they only read about us in things called fiction.

I am how they would view a 'real' vampire. It was infuriating to me that I could be classified in such a manner, and yet I had learned to use it to my advantage as well. I was not one of those horror storybook vampires. I was beautiful, I was pale, and I had dark hair. But I had a reflection, I did not change into a bat at night, I slept upon a comfortable bed, and I had been rarely glimpsed by any mortal in nearly a thousand years.

My eyes were violet, and my skin was soft, if a bit cool to the touch. I did not seem dead, and yet I was. I was undead, and yet I had never been alive.

I had never been born.

I have always simply…. existed.

It was the way.

Finally satisfied with my musings on my reflection, I turned from the old, ornate mirror, and moved silently toward the do
I
I did not have servants.

I had no 'minions' or followers.

Vampires are lone creatures. We cannot share; we would not desire to do so.

Unless we were one of the tainted ones. They were the mindless beasts that happen through carelessness, through chaotic minds of the old ones. They were created through two circumstances. Through the desire to disrupt the humans, and complete stupidity.

I had never made one.

I would never make one.

I was one of the few.

I would not be sire to the decaying masses of half-vampires roaming the streets lately. I would be as I always was.

A lone hunter, lone ruler, and lone vampire of this section of the city. I destroyed the mindless ones whenever they crossed the river into my territory. I destroyed an old one last spring who had sought to take over my place.

I would keep my throne, and I would uphold that which I have grown to be. I would not sink to their level of chaos. I was damned, I was demonic, but I would be that way through my choice, my will. I would feed where I wished, and I would exist as I wished.

I would not fall to their level.

I refused to change.

It was often maddening trying to run my territory the way I did. I did not have any who served me. I couldn’t remember why now, but before… I had decided against the dominance plays of our kind. I had chosen not to dominate and make others serving me. I would guard my reign, my city alone.

I was Master here.

I wanted nothing to do with power plays and the ridiculous politics of the Eldest One. I suspected he had gotten bored with his long life and had thus decided on the little power trip plays the others continued to devise. I supposed it would be humorous to watch it as it played out, but it had held no thrill for me.

I hunted. I killed. I ruled.

Without them.

I liked it that way.

Yet for some reason, these past seven months…

It wass tss than…

Fulfilling.


~~~


I stepped out onto the roof of my large house, closing my eyes as the chilly wind blew past me. I threw my senses out into the wind, searching through the invisible bubble that was my domain. I could sense every life, every element, and every thought upon the wind as my mind moved through the intangible plane so close to this one. I could sense everything.

This was how I defended my city from the others. This is how I hunted. This is how I first sensed my girl.

Suddenly, my eyes opened as my mind snapped back to my body.

I was getting careless. She entered my thoughts too often, and I had almost missed the small almost insignificant blank spot that meant… undead. Vampire, ghoul, zombie, or a million other kinds of them, it did not matter. If I hadhad had that tiny distraction enter my thoughts at just that moment, I would have know exactly what was wrong, and why. Of course, because of my obsession, I was left with only two choices.

I could either throw my senses out again and probe...

Or simply meet the beast.

As I knew that my girl would not be leaving the hospital for another two hours, at exactly 10:06 by my watch, I decided to simply pay the intruder a visit.

After all, it would be faster.

I turned and retreated into my home, slipped on the long black coat as I walked down the stairs, and out into the night. I didn't need the coat, obviously. The dead did not feel cold.

And not for the first time, I wondered if I could be called 'dead.' I had not been alive, after all. How can one be dead, if one hadn't even had the chance to be alive?

It did not matter.

Never did.

I quickly moved through the shadows, avoiding the annoying little humans as I made my way towards the Westside River Docks. I was hungry, but it would have to wait. The others call me weak. I must make a show of my strength every so often, just to let them know… I know they are there. I was watching. I was only one, but I was watching.

It took only minutes, and then I was there, perched in the shadows of a small dock building. I knew immediately it wasn't going to be a normal night. There, beneath the light of an old roadside light, stood a man. If you could call him that.

He wasn't a man any more than I was. He was one of my kind. Not the made ones, but the ones who simply were. And I knew him. I stepped out from my place, and I knew, even to him, I would seem to just appear from the shadows. It was a small, insignificant trick some of us had learned over time. Despite the paleness of our features, we were invisible within shadows. They were…home.

I stood there across from him for a long moment, my face completely expressionless as my eyes focused on his pale blue ones.

"Dominick," I said, my voice a mere whisper, but I knew he had heard me.

"You know that I no longer go by that name." His mouth barely moved, but his voice was loud against my ears. A simple trick as well. One used to intimidate me. Of course… he should have known it would not work.

I shrugged a shoulder slightly. "That is the name I associate you with. It is not mycerncern how often you change it."

He then laughed. A wicked, tingling laugh that have sent humans screaming from him before. Fortunately, the docks were deserted. We did not need attention. "I am Nicol now."

"As I said, it is not my concern." We stood in silence, and completely still as we continued to stare at one another. It may not have been more than a minute, or it could have lasted an hour. Time had little meaning to us. But I had more pressing business to take care of than stand here staring at another Vampire. I had my girl to see.

"What do you want?" I finally demanded, although my voice was, as usual, emotionless.

"Nothing. I want…nothing," Dominick stated.

It was almost amusing actually. "Really? You traveled across twelve domains for…nothing?" I raised my eyebrow. Dominick always wanted something. Now was no different, I was sure. He was a lower tier Vampire, even though he was one of my kind. He was too… weak. Too…self-satisfying, and too given to emotion. It would be his undoing someday. It was actually amazing it hadn't happened as of yet.

"Exactly."

"Well, if that is the case. Out," I ordered calmly, with no obvious change in my tone. I wanted him gone anyway. It was bad business to have another in your domain. Unless he was subservient to the Master, of course.

"I cannot actually."

If I had been one to express emotion, I would have blinked. "Why not?"

"I am… fleeing," he stated reluctantly, finally breaking contact with my eyes. It wasn't a submissive look; he didn't look down. No, that would be an invitation for me to end his existence. He glanced to the side.

I did narrow my eyes though. "From what, Dominick?"

"It's Nicol."

"I do not care, Dominick. You are in my domain. Speak, or be destroyed."

If I had blinked, which we don't do unless we feel like it, I would have missed the slight wince that Dominick displayed.

He was terrified. Terrified of something that made me seem like a safe haven.

That was not good.

"I only wish safe passage through your domain," he stated softly, finally meeting my eyes again.

"What are you fleeing from?" I demanded again, and I knew I was losing patience. I resisted the urge to look at my watch. I wasn't sure exactly how much time I had left before my girl would leave her workplace. If I actually missed her…

It would be the first time.

And I would not miss her.

Dominick shook his head slightly, his long brown hair swaying just slightly across his shoulders. It was limp, and dull. Dominick wasn't one of the attractive ones. He was just…. weak, plain, and boring.

"I cannot, Vincente. I am…sorry."

I was shocked for two very good reasons. One of them was that Dominick, in all the time I had known him, had not once used the name I had chosen for myself. He refused to use my name, and I had yet to figure out why. I had chosen it only centuries before, and had remained one of the nameless ones until that time. I had little status then as well. Only the nameless were the newly existed.

Dominick changed his name whenever he felt the whim. I met him when he had chosen the name Dominick and I refused to allow him the courtesy of being called by any other name. It was the one I knew, and that was that.

The other reason that I was shocked was that Dominick, the jokester, had just apologized without being forced.

Whatever he was fleeing was worse than what he would face with me.

That did not bode well.

"Dominick, you w-"

"No!!" he interrupted, his voice almost breaking as he snapped his dull blue eyes to mine. "I cannot, and you cannot coerce me into it! If I uttered it, I would be destroyed. Just let me pass through, please."

Another shock. He said please.

Now, I was more than curious. I was certain I needed to know, for my own safety. I was powerful, and Dominick was one of the few that knew it. He knew just about how powerful I was. And he feared what he was fleeing from more than he feared me.

It definitely did not bode well.

Now, I was torn. Should I give him leave to traverse my territory to flee what was following him? Should I turn him back?

Obviously, my best course of action would be to make him go around my domain. Whatever was following him might use the same route. But if not… and wanted to use the most direct one, my domain was in the way.

Problems, problems.

If I had breath to sigh, I would have.

"Condition," I finally said into the silence, turning my eyes back to Dominick's just in time to see them almost light up in hope.

Hope. An odd thing to express for one of us. Hope was alien to us. Hope was…. human.

At least, I had thought so. Perhaps Dominick had spent too much time among the mortals.

"What is it?" he finally asked, his voice calm.

At least he had that much sense. "No contamination of my domain. No feeding. No infecting of my humans. I do not want tainted halflings here. Go straight through and out."

"Merci beaucoup," he murmured softly, bowing his head to me. A sign of submissiveness. Odd. Dominick was terrified.

"Fast, Dominick," I told him.

He nodded, moved too fast for mortal eyes, and then was gone. I could sense his movements through my territory, and was soon satisfied that he was keeping his word, taking the most direct path through my city.

He would be gone in moments.

Good. I had other matters to attend to.

Glancing at my watch, I noticed I only had four more minutes to reach the hospital in time to see her.

Damn Dominick.

I took to the sky immediately. A rare talent, flying was. One I didn't use often. Vampires didn't turn into bats; that was ridiculous. But a few of us could fly. Simple, actually.

And I landed atop the hospital roof with a half-minute to spare.

I wouldn't have tstrostroy Dominick this night.

I had made it.


~~~


There was something odd in the air. Something… not right. It wasn't any sort of impending doom, though. It was more that something… something was building. Something unknown, something that I might never know. But something was going to happen. Not tonight, not tomorrow night, but soon.

"See ya tomorrow, Vicki!"

I snapped my head up, and then smiled and waved at the perky little brunette that had called out to me. "Yeah, another day, another emergency! See ya, Mandy!" I called back as I bundled up my coat, and pulled on my gloves.

I was tired. It had been an exhausting day at the hospital, and I was more than ready to go home and take a nice soak in my bathtub. I decided not to take my usual way home for some reason. It was just an odd whim that struck me as I stepped out into the crisp January air.

Maybe it was simply because I was tired of the endless routine my life had become. I woke up every morning at exactly seven twenty-three a.m. I left my house by exactly eight forty-five to arrive at work at ten to nine, when I would then start my shift. I worked twelve hours Monday through Thursday. The other three days of the weeks varied only slightly. I woke up at the same time, and left only an hour later. Only I spent my time at the local mental hospital instead of at Westside Community. It was only volunteer work there, but it wasn't like I had much of a life. I didn't date, I didn't have family, and I certainly didn't have anyone close enough I would call a friend. Therefore, I spent my time helping people in my job as a nurse, and then on my days off, I would help more as a volunteer nurse.

I was absolutely pathetic.

Or so my coworkers would say. Behind my back of course. Oh, well. It wasn't any of their business what I did with my time. I would much rather spend all of my time helping others – working – than at home moping about my pathetic lack of a life. It was better to stay busy. Then I did have the excuse that I didn't have time for relationships or hobbies, or anything like that. It helped.

Only a bit.

I quickly walked down the sterilized floor towards the ER exit, my small white heels clicking softly on the clean tiles. I had always been amazed at how completely… clean hospitals appeared to be. One could walk in to any hospital anywhere and they were hit with the smell of sterilization; it was nearly impossible to find dirt on the floor, or dust in the corners. Being a nurse, I did see the janitors and housekeepers enter rooms, sweep and mop floors, but it never seemed quite enough to get that complete cleanliness I often saw. It was one of the mysteries of hospitals, I supposed.

I walked onto the black rubber-like mat that would signal the doors to the ER to open, and stepped outside into the frigid air with a slight shiver and a quickening of my pace. I hated the winter. I was never used to it, even after all this time. I had grown up in Miami, and the coldest weather we had gotten down there was somewhere in the sixties. And rare hurricanes and tropical storms that lowered the temperature even more, of course, but even so…

Winters in Denver were something I had yet to get used to. Hell, I didn't think I'd ever get used to it. Mama had always told me I was a fragile woman, and I would need someone to take care of me throughout my life. I had always hated her for that. I would be independent. I did not want to turn out like my mother. She hadn't been able to handle staying alone for more than a week at a time. That was weak. I refused to follow her example. I wanted to be my own person. Fragile or not, I would be independent, and I would do things for myself.

I would not depend on a man to make me happy.

Even if I wasn't exactly happy.

I sighed softly, my breath making a cold, visible white puff in front of my face and I quickly walked across the deserted, dark parking lot. I knew that I probably shouldn't walk alone at night, especially with as often as I did, but I was terrified of cars, and couldn't operate one. At least, not anymore. I had gotten my license at fifteen-years-old, but after a horrible accident at the age of twenty, I had a severe phobia of getting anywhere near them. I preferred to walk everywhere.

A coworker acquaintance of mine had often warned me against walking, but it wasn't like I had much of a choice. I worked nights. I couldn't get into any sort of vehicle anymore, not even busses. I could ride a bicycle, but what was the point? It was just as dangerous, and I would be forced to obey the traffic laws and ride along the streets, near those terrifying death traps. No, I would much rather walk.

I would much rather take the risk of walking than a terrifying ride in a vehicle.

I watched my feet as I quickly made my way across the dark, shimmering pavement and stepped up onto the gray sidewalk, turning towards the west side of town. I followed the whim to use a different route going home, and walked in the opposite direction. I began to wonder if I shouldn't perhaps grab a movie and some munchies at the corner market just a few blocks down. It sounded like a good plan for such a miserable night. There was nothing like curling up in a blanket on a cold winter night and watching a good sob story.

It wasn't until I had been walking for about ten minutes did I realize that I was being followed. oon oon as the realization hit me, I followed my very first instinct.

I began to run.


~~~


AN: There isn't much to comment on HERE, either.

Lovies!