I've Had Enough of Sex!

“Cheers!” All three clinked their coffee cups together and set to drinking while it was still piping hot.
“Sorry I was a bit late. Larry didn’t take the news of our break up too well. Especially after I shoved him out on the balcony stark naked.” Leese and Carla laughed accordingly.
“Did you toss him his boxers at least?” Leese joked.
“I gave him back his leather thong for the sake of decency.”
Carla spewed out some of her coffee. “Sorry,” she said as she wiped up the mess.
“By the way, that new crop looks positively too erotic to be seen in the light of day.” Tori sipped from her cup and eyed Carla’s hair with envy.
“Yeah,” Carla beamed with pride. “The jerk-off I was with last night got my hair so tangled, I figured I’d just hack it off.
“Hack is not the word I would use.” Leese muttered.
Tori let out a low whistle. “Those stylists you worked with lost a great prodigy when they booted you out.”
“I dropped out, thank you very much. I wasn’t about to dedicate myself to a craft that restricted me from sleeping with clients.
“Wasn’t the problem the fact that you used some of the Company’s tools for your little kink-tryst.”
“Just one buzzer,” Carla ground out.
That sent Tori and Leese into fits of laughter.
“So what happened to you last night?” Carla asked pointedly.
Leese immediately sobered and looked down at her feet. The table grew quiet as Carla realized she may have crossed into dark territory.
“I went to this party and someone slipped me a roofie. A few bastards raped me while I was unconscious, that’s all.” She still didn’t look anyone in the eye when she was finished. Ashamed of what happened, hating herself for being so stupid.
Tori and Carla didn’t have to ask why she didn’t want to report it. They knew Leese would rather not have the incident preserved in police records.
“C’mon,” Carla broke the silence suddenly. Grabbing her two buddies, they headed out of the café where she hailed a cab.
“Where are we going?” Leese asked. Some of her vivaciousness was returning, though she was being uncharacteristically cautious.
Carla pretended not to notice anything as they stepped into the cab. “We, my dear, dear, slut, are going to a pub and getting a few beers.”
“It’s twelve in the afternoon!” Tori protested.
“Almost one.” Carla shoot back.

They arrived at Mick’s Irish Pub twenty minutes later. Leese and Carla stepped out, bickering over the value of a good pair of red pumps. “Guys,” Tori whispered. “GUYS!” she said a little louder when they didn’t shut up.
“What?” Carla snapped.
“We can’t go here.”
Leese looked up at the sign as apprehension dawned. “He still owns the place?” She asked.
“Yeah.” Tori began walking to the diner next door. Carla and Leese followed suit.
“Who still ‘owns the place?’ Mick?”
“Shoosh,” Leese urged.
“No, Leese, it’s okay. We’re not going in there. Remember Carla, Mick was the one who proposed to me.”
Carla’s mouth formed a perfect O. “Well that’s a flea up a girl’s panty any day of the week.”
They entered into the diner and slid into a booth. “There goes my idea for beer,” Carla muttered. “And I was trying so hard to cheer Leese up.”
Leese sent her a radiant smile--one that had men, and quite a few women, tripping over themselves just so she would look their way. “I’m feeling better already.” The waitress came to take their order and Carla waved her away.
“We need some more time.”
“Just let me know when ya’ll are ready.” The waitress left them their glasses of water and bustled off merrily.
“I’ve had enough of sex.” Leese stated.
Tori and Carla were dead silent for all of two seconds. “This isn’t about last night, is it?” Carla knew she shouldn’t have brought it up, but someone had to say it.
“No.” Leese’s smile turned painful. “This is about not getting the sex I want. I’m giving up.”
“No!” Carla breathed, aghast. If Leese gave up on sex, then the entire female race was doomed.
“Amen to that, sister.” Tori clinked her glass to Leese’s and took a few gulps.
Carla let her jaw drop. “You’re agreeing with this?!”
Tori sipped at her water before answering. “Well why not? Sex has been nothing but trouble for me either. I won’t sleep with married men, but I can’t find a single guy who’ll not want to trap me in a relationship within the week.”
“I can’t believe you two! You’re two of the most horny bitches in town, aside from me, and you’re calling it quits!” She hissed out the last part when some of the patrons started looking their way. “How the hell are you guys gonna survive months, no, years without orgasms?!” she whispered.
“I never said I was giving up orgasms.” Leese stated matter-of-factly. “Just sex with the wrong partners.”
Tori nodded her assent.
“And you two bungling block-heads are just going to banish all sex with men in the process?”
“Not all men.” Leese grinned.
“Really?” Tori had no clue where Leese was going.
“We’re making contracts.” She said this as though it was a stroke of genius. The answer to the plight of woman-kind.
“Contracts,” Carla repeated, dumbly.
“Legal contracts they have to read and sign before the boobs pop out.”
Tori and Carla just gaped at her.
“That’s brilliant!” Carla gushed. “But that means we can’t be picking up guys from bars anymore.”
“Oh please,” Tori snorted, regaining her composure, “Like we’re really missing out in excluding that lot.”
Leese giggled. My place, six tonight. All of you come. I’ll get my lawyer to be present.
“Mrs. Snooty-ball-buster?” Carla sneered.
“She’s really a spinster at heart.” Leese said in her defense. “If she’d just divorce that creep-of-a-husband, I’m sure she’d be less of a prude.”
“I disagree,” Carla mumbled.
“What was that?” Tori had heard her comment and wanted to make her squirm.
“I said: it’s time we eat.”