One Foot In

Chapter Two – The Tenants’ Meeting


I made bacon and eggs for breakfast, again blessing Sadie for her well-stocked refrigerator. I would need to go shopping today, and it would feel strange-- grocery shopping for just one. I was still trying to sort it all out. Things had changed too quickly. Taking a cup of coffee to my sofa, I flicked on the TV to do a bit of surfing. There was a polite knock on the door and I knew it had to be Leo.

“Are you ready for the meeting?” He was wearing an Old Navy logo’ed tee shirt and khaki pants with furry slippers. I couldn’t help but notice that his build was rather wiry. He was carrying a mug of herbal tea. Man, somebody has got to get him addicted to caffeine.

I grabbed my coffee mug and joined him. The apartment was one flight directly below me. I guess I should explain the building. It occupied a whole corner of the block with vacant lots all around it. It seemed as if some urban renewal had been planned for the block and that something had stopped those plans.

The ground floor was commercial. I couldn’t tell if there were businesses there or not, because the windows were filthy. My guess is that whatever it was, they weren’t into the window cleaning business. The next three floors were residential. My apartment and Leo’s both had two bedrooms and were on the top floor of the building. The building was quite long and thin. One side had the two bedroom layout and the other side had one bedrooms and in between the two wings were the toilet closets. Yes, barbaric. There was one WC per apartment. They all directly faced the stairwell, a series of four little doors. I hadn’t met the other people on our floor, but I knew they were there, because like Leo, they left their doors ajar. This building was one big happy family-- that was what Leo tried to explain to me. Still, I kept my door locked.

Josh and I lived about 35 blocks north of there, close to midtown in a high-rise building. You never even knew who your neighbors were much less left your door open to them. I sort of liked it that way and wondered what it would feel like to be living in what seemed like a very close-knit community. Thholehole thing of Leo’s about approval for subletting had to be total bunk. But why would he feed me a line? I thought that he liked me.

We went down one flight to the second floor landing and then walked to the left to the two bedroom wing. The door was wide open and the kitchen and living room were already filled to capacity. There were no more than a dozen people, but the tiny rooms were quite crowded. There was a Hispanic couple with a baby, and a couple of guys who were sitting clo close on the sofa together, holding hands. I spotted what had to be the Weird sisters, they were twins and one was walleyed, other than that they were identical and looked to be about sixty years of age. Thor was leaning against the kitchen sink, dwarfing everyone. There was a middle aged black lady dressed in a Haitian print dress with matching hair wrap. And a wizened oriental man who looked like a turtle with a smooth bald head and numerous wrinkles all over his face. There was another lady who reminded me of an Agatha Christie character. She was dressed all in tweeds and quite stout. Everyone turned and the room went silent as they all stared at me.

The wall-eyed sister cleared her throat and I was out of the spotlight as all heads turned to her. “As you can see we are all here with the exception of Sadie, Christie, Oswald and the usual absence of the Allwoods. The young lady who just walked in with Leo is Miss White.” At that there was a sudden murmuring as various people attempted to look at me without appearing rude.

“Miss White, you are the first order of business. Please come forward.” I lifted my head and smiled my best ‘thank you for awarding me the Tony award for best leading actress’ smile. The Weird sister (didn’t they have first names?) smiled at me and presented me to the group. “Our Sadie thought it would be a good idea for Miss White to join us. Of course, we respect Sadie’s views on the matter, but still we must assure ourselves that you will fit in.” Okay, interview time. I flashed another award winning smile. Never let them see you sweat.

“Leo, we have need of your talent.” She gestured for him to come forward.

“Don’t be nervous, child,” said the sister. Actually Leo was the one who looked ready to throw up. He delicately took my arm and sniffed at my wrist and then quickly, flicked his tongue at it.

He faced the crowd. “She belongs here.” Okay, they are known as the Weird sisters for a reason and maybe my across the hall neighbor just wanted to humor them. Then my dear, dear friend Thor just had to pipe up.

“Not good enough, Leo. She’s clueless and you’re asking her to get involved. She hasn’t any idea of what’s going on here or the danger she’s in.” Again, he was talking danger. What was with him?

Miss Weird, spoke up, “Your point is taken Thor. Perhaps Miss White would be willing to have a little taste of something sweet and homemade.” Now this was getting too weird.

“Excuse me?” The second Weird sister brought forth a candy tin and lifted the lid. Great Turkish Delight—Not. Leo took a piece and ate it. He smiled at me and winked. Right, sure, didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I took a small piece and popped it in my mouth.

Have you ever been in an elevator free fall? No, neither have I, but I have been in one that gave a sudden lurch, and it was like that, except I thought I was going down 20 stories. The lighting in the room changed. It was suddenly a dappled green, like I was under a canopy of leaves or underwater. But the people all changed, too. The gay couple on the couch sprouted white feathers with a yellow crest, while the British lady suddenly took on the appearance of Mrs. Tiggywinkle by Beatrice Potter. If you haven’t seen the book since childhood, let me refresh your memory—a goddamned walking hedgehog, complete with beady eyes and spines wearing British tweeds! The only person unchanged was Thor. But even then he had a brand on the side of his face, some sort of arcane rune or mystic signal. My eyes focused on Leo and I screamed and I suppose I zoned out then, because the last I remember was thinking, he’s not human. I vaguely remember the others. The old oriental man looked like a dragon, the Vegas family like satyrs or fawns, right down to the little horns on the cute baby’s head, and the Weird sisters were insectoid, I think spiders, but it was only a passing impression. And the Haitian lady had also turned into a bird, a raven or a crow. I’m really not good at bird identification.

I remember the room spinning and my knees giving way and then being in someone’s arm rolling back and forth like a rag doll as they lifted me up. I was being carried upstairs and then there was a gentle setting down. So perhaps I hadn’t fainted, and yet, I swear I was senseless. I felt someone push a glass of water to my mouth.

“Here, drink this.” No way mister, if a piece of candy could have that effect, you can take your stinking water and… I shoved it hard and felt quite damp as it spilt all over me. I kept my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see anything. I know nothing, nothing.

“Come on, White, stop being such a wimp.” It was Thor. Ooooh, did he piss me off. I opened my eyes, ready to scream, only to realize everything was normal again. Still, I had that ‘Toto, I don’t think we are in Kansas anymore’ feeling. I grabbed hold of the closest male, who happened to be Leo who was kneeling next to me, and buried my face in his shoulder.

“What was that?” I sobbed. Yes, I’m a wuss. You try that candy and see how tough you’d be.

“Umm. You fainted?” He was a rotten liar. Come on, if you are going to make me feel better, tell a whopper.

“No? I didn’t faint.” He looked to Thor and shrugged. Thor looked back and rubbed his nose. Either they were getting better at sign language or they hadn’t a clue what to say.

“Sooo. What do you think happened?” Leo said with his eyebrows raised all innocence.

Now, if Johnny Depp were playing this, he could do the whole nervous breakdown scene from Sleepy Hollow. The thing is, it wasn’t a film. It was my life and I knew what I saw. Somehow the candy…

“The candy. What was in the candy?” Both men looked helpless. You know, I don’t like helpless men.

“Damn it, I need some answers,” I shrieked.

“I took some of the candy and I’m all right.” Oh, Leo, you are such a pathetic liar!

“No, you turned into something. Everyone turned into something. Except you, Thor, you just got this mark—“ I got up from my corner of the couch and scooted nto hto him. I stared at his left cheek. I looked hard. The thing about acting is that you develop an imagination and excellent powers of visualization. I stared at his cheek, willing the scar to return. And I saw it, and I reached out and was tracing it with my finger when Leo yelled, “Don’t look at me!” and ran out the room lickety-split.

Of course, I caught sight of him exiting my front door. He was completely covered by hair, no not hair, fur-- Thick, black fur with grey markings. Did I ever mention that the trouble with sensitive men is that they are… sensitive? Whatever was in that candy, and I refused to believe it was a hallucinogenic, had opened something in my mind.

I turned back to Thor, suddenly aware of how very close we were to each other on the couch. He smiled warily. I stood up and created some distance between us.

“Funny, he doesn’t look Jewish.” I mused.

Thor stared for a minute and then, I’m sorry but I can only explain it as a guffaw. He guffawed long and loud. I started to laugh as well.

“You know, White, you’re not half bad.”

“Thanks, Thor. I still think you’re a shithead. But at least you have a sense of humor. So tell me what the hell is going on?”

“Are you sure you want to know? You ought to be running out of this place screaming.”

“But I’m not.” I shook my head.

“Yeah, you’re not. Why?” He looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“Because I belong here? Because I look human, but….” I walked closer to him, watching him. “You know. SO you tell me.”

“Because you belong here, because your father is part of all this.” He watched me for any signs of growing hysteria or insanity.

“Thor, my father is dead.”

“Are you quite sure of it?” I began to pace. I blinked back the tears. I was a daddy’s girl, always had been, a wise cracking, tough little tomboy, trying to be the son to him that he never had. It had hurt too much when he died. Hurt so much that I just bottled it up and refused to deal with it. He hadn’t seemed dead so why accept it?

“So, he’s alive?” Hope, tempered by a cold fear of impossibility, ripped through me.

“We don’t know. Sadie and he went back to where all the others came from. It’s not safe there, but it’s not really safe here in this building anymore. Out there,” he gestured to the city, “is relatively safe. But something crossed and was hunting them. They both went back, because they didn’t want to draw it to our refuge here. What we are all trying to understand is why Sadie thought to involve you.”

Sadie, my friend who always seemed to know me so well, knew me better than myself. “So what are you?” I stared at Thor.

He smiled, “More human than you’ll ever be. I just stumbled into this scene. You, well you’re your father’s daughter. Didn’t he ever say anything?”

“Just stories. Wild made up stories. Better than Tolkien or Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Different and original stories, unlike anything I ever read in a book. So tell me, how do I find him and Sadie?”

“You can’t. I just told you.”

“No. No you said something about being hunted. Can we just start at the beginning?” Damn where was Leo when I needed him? Having a snit about being a bit hairy. I walked into the hallway and pounded on his door, “Leo, come on out, I think you look sexy covered in fur.”

“I’m not coming out,” came his muffled voice. I stalked back to Thor who was standing in my kitchen raiding my refrigerator.

“Did I say you could have that?” He was plowing through a carton of One Sweet Whirl, the one ice cream that I would never share, not even with Leo.

“Nope. Any other stupid questions?” He was almost done with it. He was as bad as Josh except he didn’t seem to have a problem with lactose. Impossible.

“Yes, lots of them. What am I? And don’t tell me I’m some sort of elfin princess.” I folded my arms and looked stern.

He started to walk out my front door. “Hey! Stop!! Hold on there a second.”

He stood in the hallway and gave me a big cheesy grin. “Well, you asked me not to tell you—see you around, Xena!” And he stomped down the stairs.

I slammed the door and hurled myself on the couch. A sudden horrid thought occurred to me. I ran for the bedroom mirror and stared at myself. No, I hadn’t changed. I was still my mother’s daughter with a nose worthy of Barbara Streisand, not overly large but with a Semitic bump that guaranteed me a lifetime of ethnic roles. I could play Italian or Romani or Greek or girl next door. Not leading lady looks, but still strikingly attractive, just not average WASP. I had good cheekbones, too, I reminded myself. Looks human. Can pass as human. Sudden panic struck.

I launched myself out my front door and began knocking despairingly on Leo’s door. “Leo Rosen, you come out and explain. You kept telling me it was all right, so it’s your fault. OUT! Now, or I will scream this whole building down. I heard doors in the distance closing and locking. It seems that I was scaring the community of WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY?

Eventually Leo opened the door a crack. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what? I’m fine with fur. I’m not some member of PETA…”

“Cindy, I’m not like this all the time.” I waited and waited.

“SO! Leo, I’m getting tired of yelling through this door. Let me in!”

He opened the door and walked to his couch. I noticed that he had a tail sticking out through a slit in his trousers. I stifled a giggle. He was so cute! He sat down and covered his fur-covered face with his fur-covered hands.

“I’m not always like this.”

“Leo, I think of you as a friend,” I wasn’t going to admit that I also had much more carnal thoughts about him, “you can talk to me. You better talk to me!”

“Woff.” Did he say woof?

“Leo, get your face up here so I can hear you.” He lifted his face. He had a black leather pad at the tip of his nose and his teeth weuttiutting out.

“I’m a werewolf. Full moon’s tomorrow. God, I hate myself.” He started to sob. Did I mention that the problem with sensitive men was? Oh yes, I did.

I threw my arms around him and he pushed me away. “Go, get out. I don’t want to see you.”

“Leo, you need to deal with this.”

“I can’t. There’s nothing I can do about this. Just go and leave me alone.”

Finally, I reached my limit. “You’re being silly. Just because I can see the fur now doesn’t change a thing. Think about it. You’re you and I’m me.”

“OUT!!” He grabbed my arm and not too genteelly pushed me out the door. He slammed the door shut and I was left out in the cold. I walked into my apartment and located the rum bottle. Yes, it was before noon, but there was just enough left in the bottle for a good stiff Rum and Coke.

I drank it, without the Coke.


I sat, I watched some television, what I can’t remember, and I fretted. I was trying to understand it all, but the pieces kept slipping and sliding around in my mind.

My father might be alive, but in danger. Sadie had known about my father being a part of this other world, but had never told me. She hadn’t told me he was alive, either. And the people here were in danger from force or forces unknown.

Thor had said I should go running from the building screaming. Well, two things were keeping me here: one was that I had nowhere else to go and two, two wasn’t a thing, but a man who had been screaming at me not to look at him.

Why is it that all the good men are married, gay or werewolves?

I knew that I should probably go downstairs and question the Weird sisters, but the problem was that I’d never been fond of insects. I felt restless and decided that after lunch I would head to the afternoon bag training session at the gym.

Josh, when we had been together, was a “togetherness” kind of guy. He didn’t like to exercise alone so we had joint memberships to the same dojo. He thought it was great and would boot me out of bed at all kinds of ungodly hours even in the worst weather to go and work out with him. As a result of his joyous determination to be at the gym as much as humanly possible, he had made black belt in two years. I, the laggard, was still on my green belt. Please note: Josh was the kind of guy who would love taking on Thor, even if he got his butt royalty kicked. I took a few delightful minutes in fantasizing about them putting each other in the ER. But getting on with things, if given a choice between Cindy using her hands as a weapon or Cindy holding a frying pan, my money would be on the gal with the kitchen cookware. I know my limitations.

I liked bag training. It was the time when you didn’t have Sensei shouting all sort of nonsense at you while you tried not to have your head kicked in. You just put on your wraps and gloves and went hell for leather against the bags and pads. You don’t think, you don’t worry about style, you become a mindless hitting machine. My kind of training. My endorphins were revving up just thinking about it. Yes, I needed a fix.

I had a light but nutritious lunch of canned soup, apple and a slice of bread. Then I collected my gear, which had barely dried from yesterday, and headed off—into my ex-boyfriend’s terrain. I rather hoped he’d be busy elsewhere, maybe romancing the other woman who in my imagination had already taken over my side of the bed.

When I entered the dojo, I could see that we had our classic spaghetti western scenario. The girl at the desk, paid outrageously well for her perfect figure and ever-bubbly persona, waved to me.

“Hi Cindy, you made up with Josh, yet?” I shook my head, handed her my card and headed to the lockers.

I almost got there when I was accosted by Sensei, a man about the size of a hamster with the savagery of a Tazmanian Devil-- real one or Warner Brothers, your choice. “Cindy, you okay? Josh was looking for you.” I smiled, politely bowed and regretted my fool heartiness in showing my face. But at least he wasn’t there.

In the locker room, I was blissfully left alone. Right to the point where I surreptitiously smelled my uniform and hand wraps to make sure I didn’t have any personal hygiene problems. I didn’t. It was that the girls tended to like Josh. Heck, I loved him for seven years and lorded it over them all, basking in the warmth of their jealousy. Enough, enough, I thought and headed out to do serious damage to the bags.

I kicked, I yelled, I jabbed, crossed and uppercut to my heart’s content. I worked up a sweat that removed all residues of the liquor and ice cream that I had been imbibing since yesterday. I felt damned good. Play theme from ‘Rocky’. I hit the showers, sore and exhausted but feeling great.

I dressed and walked out of the locker room, straight into his arms. You saw that coming, right? Too bad, I didn’t. Somebody had snitched.

He grabbed my arm in that steel grip of his, and said tenderly. “Where you been? I’ve been half sick with worry. I’ve got all my friends out looking for you. My mother’s ready for a heart attack.” Only Josh could put all my clothes into paper bags (we are very eco-conscious) put them out on the curb in the pouring rain and then try to make me feel guilty for leaving. I broke the grip, just like Sensei showed me in class. He, of course, put on a counter grip.

“Don’t play games, you know I’m better at it.” I looked at his blue eyes. Glacial blue, like the blue of ice that’s been pressured by millions of pounds of ice. Deep artic blue. Set off by the face of an Angel, a very angry Avenging Angel, with a perfect soap opera hair cut of his black Irish hair. His last name was Connor originally O’Connelly. He changed it for his agent.

“Cindy, come home with me.”

“I’ll give you the count of three to let go or I start screaming partner abuse.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me. Oops, I do think you are leaving a mark…” There are a lot of women who have been abused that come to places like this. Think Bacchae! They’d shred him in seconds flat. He jerked his hand away from my upper arm.

“Okay, juice bar and we talk.”

“No, Starbucks and we talk.”

“Deal.” My heart was breaking. We had certain patterns of speech, a short hand. He loved juice bars and I loved evil, evil coffee conglomerates. Suddenly, having the freedom of my own place didn’t make any sense. I felt bad for Leo, but Thor was looking after him. We could take a cab, get my stuff and head back to our apartment and have a home cooked meal provided by either Boston Market or the local Chinese take-out. Then we’d make love.

He’d fall asleep and I’d be awake all night, hating myself for being a doormat.

Sipping a skim milk latte, I asked him, “So how did your mother get involved?”

“Matthew told her I was looking for you. She’s ready to accept you as her daughter.”

“What the half-Jewess who would insure that all your children were fully Jewish? And I don’t care if the Church says by signing a paper it’s okay. They would all be fully Jewish. It goes through the mother.”

“Yes. Dammit. She’s even willing to forgo a church wedding. I told you, she’s ready to cave.”

I’d dreamt of this day. Josh was smiling. He knew he had me back. “Come on. We can walk through the diamond district and find just the right ring.”

Right ring-- the one that would fit that new income of his since he’d started the job with the television network. Suddenly, I was having trouble breathing.

“No, thanks.”

His eyes flickered, “Don’t be stupid. You couldn’t have seen what you thought you did. Marilyn left for the West coast last week. We broke it off.”

That’s when the tears came. He admitted it. If only he hadn’t admitted it. “How many others were there before her? I need some honesty.”

He was looking around him. “Keep your voice down. We aren’t rehearsing a script.”

No? We’re not? I thought this was for Candid Camera. Where suddenly Marilyn shows up and says, boy, you should have seen the look on your face.

“How many, Josh?”

“Three or four?” I closed my eyes for a second before continuing.

“Why don’t you know?”

“Do blow jobs count?” I was up and running out of there. My gym bag hit some poor schnook and their double latte mocha frappe went flying. I didn’t look back. It bought me the time to round the corner and hide out in the bookstore lavatory where he’d never find me. That is if he bothered looking. Why would he bother? I felt sick to my stomach.

Eventually I walked back to the tenement. I stopped at a grocery store, a liquor shop, and a Chinese take-out. I wasn’t hungry, but I was holing up, going to ground. I wasn’t coming out for a week. My life was ruined, over, finito. Now, maybe this doesn’t sound in character for me. But I didn’t care. I needed to lick my wounds and let things go. Thank goodness Josh didn’t have my address or phone number. I had a feeling the next step would be couples counseling. Let’s convince Cindy that it’s okay when your lover of seven years doesn’t know whether blowjobs count. (They do.) Let’s convince Cindy that happily married women look the other way. That’s what keeps them happy as they pop out babies.

I heard a low keening from Leo’s apartment. He sounded in pain. I was ready to howl back. I knocked and there was no answer.

I scratched at his door and said plaintively, “I’m sorry, Leo. Can you hear me? I’m sorry that I got angry with you. I know it wasn’t your fault.” The keening returned. I went to my bedroom and sat down. I cried some more. I felt lost. I thought how good it would be to talk to Sadie, or even my father.

I got up quickly. That was it! It was time for some answers. I washed my face and decided to talk to the Weird sisters. I needed answers. I needed my loved ones back.