Original Sin

“I can’t believe you knew they are having a baby!” Sin yelled at Eddie as they entered her apartment late one night a few weeks after returning from Ohio. “I have been holding this huge fucking secret inside this whole time, and I could have been talking about it with you!”

Flopping down on Sin’s couch, Eddie smirked at Sin. “You could have told me, too, you know,” he reminded her. “I mean, Lianna didn’t mean to tell me; it just slipped one day during lunch. But if I had known that YOU knew, we could have spent the last three weeks talking about it.”

Taking a seat beside Eddie, Sin could only smile at him. They had gone to a small party at Joseph’s condo that night, where Lianna announced her pregnancy to their closest friends. Coincidentally, the only two people in the room who weren’t shocked by the announcement were Sin and Eddie. And they had been jokingly bickering about this fact for the rest of the night.

“I still say you should have told me,” Sin wormed her way under her boyfriends arm and rested her head on his chest. “I mean, I’ve known Joseph longer than you’ve known Lianna, so it makes sense that I HAD to keep the secret. But you could have-”

“Broken Lianna’s confidence?” Eddie smiled down at his girlfriend, giving her frowning face a soft kiss on the forehead as he chuckled. “So the fact that you knew Joseph two years longer than I’ve known Lianna means I should have betrayed her trust, just to dish you some dirt on our friends?”

“Thank you,” Sin grinned up at Eddie. “At least you get it.”

Sitting silently holding Sin, Eddie just enjoyed the moment. “So, besides us not saying anything to each other about the pregnancy before now,” he finally broke the silence as his hand slid below the hem of Sin’s hoodie to feel the skin on her lower back. “Did you have a good time tonight?”

“I did,” Sin told Eddie, cuddling closer to him. “I mean, how could I not? Joseph and Lianna announced they’re having a baby, and Madison and Tavian announced that they’re getting married this fall. How much more can you ask from a tiny gathering of your closest friends in one night?”

“That stuff is all wonderful,” Eddie agreed, but it was clear something was bothering him. “I mean, I had a great time. On the other hand, it was hard not to notice that one person in particular wouldn’t take his eyes off you all night, but also wouldn’t speak to either of us…”

Biting her lip, Sin buried her head in Eddie’s chest while she thought. “It was awkward to see Zip tonight,” she admitted softly, sitting up to look him in the eyes. “But, you know what? If he wants to act like a fucking baby every time you and I are the same place as him, let him. I won’t let it ruin my good time. But what about you? I mean, this is the first time you’ve been around him since we’ve gotten together. Was it awkward for you?”

“Fuck, yeah,” Eddie immediately replied, his cursing eliciting a small giggle from Sin. “I mean, we’re at a party for the guitarist from Zip’s band, with all the people he is closest to, and he’s giving me the death glare every time I accidentally catch his eye. How would it not be awkward?”

“So that’s all it was?” Sin asked gently. “Just how he was acting?” Immediately, though, she regretted her question, as she felt Eddie’s body tense beside hers. Pulling herself more fully into a sitting position, she looked Eddie in the eyes. “What? What did I say wrong?”

Trying to control his emotions, Eddie sat silently for a moment collecting his thoughts. “Did you want it to be something else?” he asked Sin, hurt obvious in his voice. “I mean, did you want me to be bothered by something more than how Zip was acting? Should I? I mean, you’re the one who would know the answer to that…”

With any other person in the world, Eddie’s accusatory tone would have set Sin off. But she knew him well by now, and at that moment, she could see the fear in his eyes. “Kiddo, I want to be with you,” Sin told Eddie, touching his cheek gently. “Not Zip, not anyone else. Just you.”

“And I want to be with you,” Eddie sighed, leaning into Sin’s touch. “I guess… I guess that sometimes I get bothered that you get so self-conscious – like with my parents – when I know deep down that I should be the self-conscious one. Sin, you are the one with a rock star in love with you, and I’m just some boring, average guy.”

Taking a deep breath, Sin tried to figure out what to say to Eddie in response. “First of all,” Sin told him. “You need to understand how rare it is for someone to be as fucking awesome as you are. And second, Zip isn’t in love with me. I’m just… I’m the only one who has ever turned him down. It’s not love; it’s pride.”

Shaking his head, Eddie gave Sin a sad smile.

“What?” Sin asked, unsure how to read Eddie’s expression.

“You have no idea, do you?” Eddie asked Sin softly, running the back of his hand over her cheek. “You have no idea how easy it is to fall in love with you. I never intended to; I never thought you would look at me as more than a dorky friend. Even when we first started dating, I was scared out of my mind about letting my feelings for you grow, because I felt like you would never be able to see me the same way. But here I am, in love with you anyway. And it’s totally possible that Zip is, too, even if he does have the biggest fucking ego in three states. Sin, you’re such an unbelievable person…”

“You are the unbelievable one,” Sin told Eddie. “I wish I could let you know how lucky I think I am to be with you.”

“Thank you,” Eddie replied, kissing Sin gently on the lips. But she could tell he still wasn’t completely convinced.

‘What is my problem?’ Sin thought angrily to herself, looking into Eddie’s kind face. ‘I want Eddie to know how much he means to me – how much more he means to me than Zip ever did. What’s wrong with me, that I can’t express to this amazing guy how important he is to me?’ Resting her head on his shoulder once more, she sighed.

There was no way for Sin to do that, to communicate how she really felt about Eddie. Not yet, at least.

-----

Eddie woke up before Sin the next morning. Rolling onto his side, leaning on his elbow and propping his head up in one hand, he looked at her beside him. She was on her stomach, her arms under her head – the position he had grown accustomed to her sleeping in. Reaching over gently, Eddie carefully moved some loose hairs from her face and pushed them over her shoulder.

‘She is so beautiful,’ Eddie thought to himself as he studied Sin’s sleeping form, chewing on his bottom lip. ‘I never knew you could love someone this much.’

Despite this – or maybe because of it – Eddie was petrified at the moment. Seeing Zip last night at Joseph’s condo had affected him more deeply than he had even let on. He saw the way Zip’s eyes never left Sin, and how he ignored the girl he had brought with him completely to just stare at Sin all night.

It wasn’t that Eddie didn’t trust Sin, either. She wouldn’t cheat on him; he knew this. For as difficult and argumentative as Sin could be, she was also incredibly honest – sometimes to a painful degree. But that was one of the things that Eddie loved most about her.

Eddie’s real fear was that Sin would never feel as intensely for him as he felt for her. It wasn’t just that he had told her he loved her and she hadn’t said it back; he expected that. And it wasn’t just that there was another person, a big part of Sin’s past, who still wanted her back, who could offer her things that Eddie could never even dream of, and who had a lot more in common with her.

What scared Eddie the most was that it wouldn’t be the things that had happened to Sin in her life or the people she could be with instead that stopped her from feeling for him the way he felt for her. It would just be him – she just wouldn’t be able to feel that way about Eddie.

Lost in his thoughts, Eddie unconsciously reached over and began running his hand over Sin’s back, causing her to stir. “Hey,” Sin said, her voice thick with sleep as she opened her eyes, blinking several times to adjust to the light. “What are you doing?”

Pulling his hand back in embarrassment, Eddie gave Sin a small smile. “Nothing,” he said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep; it’s still early.”

Rolling over onto her side so she could face Eddie, Sin studied him for a moment. He was still giving her a small smile, but she knew him too well; it was a false smile. What gave it away was the way his eyes looked. They were a soft brown color right now, like milk chocolate, but the golden flecks that shimmered most of the time could barely be seen. He was unquestionably sad.

“I don’t want to go back to sleep,” Sin inched closer to Eddie, pressing herself to his body. She let out a soft sigh as she felt his arm reach around her waist and his hand slide beneath the hem of the t-shirt she had slept in, scratching her back lazily. At least he wasn’t angry with her; she could tell by his actions. “I don’t want to sleep. I want to be close to you,” Sin added, looking up into Eddie’s face as she ran her fingertips lightly over his bare chest.

Staring into Sin’s steel colored eyes, Eddie felt a wave of affection pass over him for the girl beside him. “Yeah?” he asked, smiling with more sincerity this time when Sin grinned back a little and nodded. “Then come here,” he urged, rolling over onto his back and gently leading Sin’s body above his.

Resting her forearms on the pillows on either side of Eddie’s head, Sin slowly lowered her mouth to Eddie’s. She tried to get lost in the moment, but it was hard. She kept berating herself instead, knowing that her dysfunctional outlook on intimacy and relationships was the reason the wonderful man below her body was unhappy. Still, Sin decided scolding herself just then wasn’t going to help Eddie any, so she turned all the attention she could onto at least trying to show him some of what she felt for him.

At first, Eddie had been disheartened, as it seemed Sin was holding back from him. A moment later, though, he let out a relieved sigh against her mouth, as she seemed to come back to him fully. Her kisses moved from slow and sensual to deeper and more urgent, her teeth scraping over his bottom lip and her tongue running against his in a way that made Eddie’s heart beat faster.

As Sin finally lost herself to the feeling of being close to Eddie, she felt him responding. His hands slid under the back of her shirt and wandered over the soft skin, across her shoulders, and down her sides. He released a soft moan as Sin broke their kiss, sitting up far enough to pull off her top, and then dropping right back down again on him. “That’s so much better,” she whispered into Eddie’s ear as their chests pressed intimately together.

Closing his eyes, Eddie delighted in the feeling of Sin’s mouth on his throat, releasing a soft groan as her teeth scraped knowingly over his pulse point and then her lips immediately kissed away any small glimmer of pain. As her body lifted just a little to allow her to move her attention a bit lower, Eddie took the opportunity to reach between himself and Sin, taking her breast in his hand.

Letting out a soft whimper against Eddie’s shoulder, Sin just held still for a moment as she concentrated on Eddie’s touches. One hand had slid into the hair at the nape of her neck, and he was massaging her gently. The other hand moved over her breast, the pads of his fingers running circles around her nipple until it became completely hard. Then he reached for the other breast, to give it the same attention.

By the time Eddie released Sin’s breast and moved his hand up to cup her cheek, Sin’s breathing was already becoming labored. Raising her head from his shoulder, she looked him in the eye, and he just nodded.

As quickly as they could, Eddie and Sin helped the other remove their underwear. As Sin straddled Eddie’s hips, she looked into his kind face and gave him a smile. Eddie then took Sin’s small waist in his hands, urging her to take him in her.

Sin closed her eyes as she allowed her body to be filled with Eddie, knowing that it had never felt this good to be close to anyone else before. Reaching for his hands, she interlocked her fingers with his and pressed them down above his head, meeting his mouth for a warm kiss as she began moving above him.

Kissing Sin slowly and desirously, Eddie lifted his hips to meet her body. He was enjoying how it felt to be inside Sin but have her holding his hands down so he couldn’t touch her, except with his mouth. Tilting his head, he ran his lips over Sin’s jaw and neck to her shoulder, where he nipped lightly.

Moving her body up slightly, Sin was able to offer her breast to Eddie, who kissed it eagerly. Pulling her hardened nipple between his lips, Eddie teased it with the tip of his tongue, loving how Sin let out a soft cry as his teeth finally scraped over it. The feeling was so intense, she couldn’t tell if it was modest pain or intense pleasure.

To Eddie’s surprise and with a disgruntled groan, he felt Sin lift herself from his body and pull at his hands, urging him to sit up. As he did, he watched Sin switch positions, rising on her knees and gripping the headboard. Without thinking, Eddie moved behind her quickly and took her hips in his hands. Dropping his mouth to the crux of her neck and shoulder, he bit down at the same time as he pressed hard into her from behind.

Sin knew her cry was loud – loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but she didn’t care. Eddie had reached around her, one hand teasing her clit while the other massaged her breasts, as he began thrusting into her. Turning her head, Sin kissed him softly, and then slid one hand into his hair and urging his mouth to move back to her neck, his tongue tasting the saltiness of her skin.

The feelings of pleasure flowing through Eddie’s body were tremendous and pressed into Sin from behind, touch and tasting and feeling so much of her at once. As he heard her cries growing louder and her breathing more ragged, he began showing her clit even more attention. He felt her pressing back, meeting each of his thrusts hard, before her muscles finally clenched around him and she let out a soft cry.

Eddie wasn’t sure if it was the feeling of Sin’s tightened muscles around him or the sound of her voice, but within seconds, he felt an ache overtake his lower body. Biting Sin’s shoulder softly, he pushed deep inside her and came.

Neither person attempted to say anything or disentangle themselves for a long moment. Eddie just wrapped his arms around Sin’s waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, pulling the two perspiration soaked bodies together as they each person tried to catch their breath.

“Wow,” Eddie finally whispered in Sin’s ear, eliciting a small giggle.

“I agree,” Sin spoke softly, leaning back against Eddie.

“That wasn’t just to ease my concerns about last night, was it?” Eddie finally got up the nerve to ask, bracing himself for a defensive retort from Sin.

Instead, Sin just turned her head and looked into Eddie’s eyes. “That was just to remind you how good we are together,” she kissed his lips softly. “And to remind you that you are the only one I want to be with. I promise.”

Eddie and Sin finally separated their bodies and then curled up together under the covers. “I’m sorry if I was acting like a scared little kid last night,” he whispered to Sin, pulling her close to him. “It’s just… I love you so much, and I’m just afraid I won’t be enough for you…”

Nodding into Eddie’s chest, Sin sighed. “And I think I’m going to be too much for you… too much of a handful to deserve someone like you,” she told him. Looking up, she smiled at Eddie. “We’re a couple of misfits, huh?”

“At least we’ve got that in common,” Eddie leaned down to kiss Sin’s forehead. They both lay there for a while, holding each other and thinking. How was it possible that they both cared so much for the other, but still feared that that wouldn’t be enough to keep them together? Neither person knew the answer, and that’s why they both lay awake nervously thinking, rather than falling back into the relaxed sleep that their sated bodies wanted them to.

-----

A few hours later, Sin was roused by the sound of her cell phone ringing. Reaching over lazily, she picked it up and checked the caller ID. “Why are you calling me so early?” she asked in a whiny voice.

Chuckling was heard over the line. “It’s 10:30, Sin,” Joseph informed his friend. “I wouldn’t say I woke you at the crack of dawn. How late did you guys stay up after you left our place last night?”

“We went to sleep pretty quickly,” Sin rolled over onto her back and looked over to see that Eddie was beginning to wake up, too. Giving him a small smile, she turned her attention back to Joseph. “We just woke up early and then… went back to sleep.”

“More than enough info,” Joseph laughed. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you and Eddie that I really want you guys to come to our show next Saturday. I’m going to announce the pregnancy then – our new manager said it’s fine – and we want all our friends to be there.”

Looking over at Eddie again, Sin could feel a pang of nervousness. “Joseph and Lianna want us to come to the Broken Dynamite show next week,” she told him, covering the phone with her hand. “They’re announcing the pregnancy.”

Trying to hide his fear, Eddie nodded immediately. “Of course,” he told Sin in as strong a voice as he could muster. “Tell them we’ll be there.”

Sin relayed the message to Joseph, and then spoke to him for a few minutes more before hanging up. Rolling over, she reached to place her hand on Eddie’s chest. “Is this going to be okay?” she asked. “Going to the show?”

“It has to be,” Eddie told Sin. “These are our friends, and this is a huge deal for them. Of course we’ll go…”

“But…?”

Smiling a little at Sin’s familiarity with his tone of voice, Eddie took the hand she had placed on his chest in his own hand. “But it is going to be tough,” he admitted. “I mean, ten people in Joseph’s condo is one thing. But this is a Broken Dynamite show. And Zip’s the lead singer. And thousands of fans are going to be feeding his ego all night. I just hope… I hope he doesn’t say anything to you, truthfully. Does that make me a dick?”

“No,” Sin shook her head. “It makes you human. No one wants to be put in an uncomfortable situation.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. Then both people fell into silence. Both wanted to go to support Lianna and Joseph, but neither wanted to deal with Zip. They had enough concerns between just the two of them. They really didn’t need this extra complication thrown into the mix.

-----

“Fuck!” Sin yelled as she watched the glass in her hand slip and shatter into a million pieces on the kitchen floor of Eddie’s apartment. “Damn it!”

“What’s the matter?” Eddie rushed in from the other room. Seeing the broken glass, he gave Sin a small smile. “Sin, it’s no big deal. It was a cheap glass, and I’ll clean it up. Why don’t you just go get your stuff together? The show starts soon, anyway.”

Looking up at Eddie, Sin felt her body filled with dread. For some reason, she had been on edge all week. Now, the day of the Broken Dynamite show, she was at her worst. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she told Eddie softly.

“Come here,” Eddie ushered Sin around the broken glass and into the living area, leading her to sit beside him on the couch. “Listen, I know you’re freaked out about tonight. I don’t know what in particular about seeing Zip is going to bother you, and that’s okay. But I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think I should go tonight. I think you should go alone.”

“No,” Sin’s face contorted in shock. “God, Eddie, no fucking way! Why would you even suggest that?”

Eddie had known Sin wouldn’t take his recommendation well, but he had been thinking about this all week and felt like it truly was the right thing. Taking her hands, he looked up into her eyes, seeing confusion and hurt. “The night I first told you I love you,” Eddie began explaining, seeing her expression suddenly turn shy. “That night, you told me you didn’t know what love is. Well, I think love is something different to everyone. And for me, part of loving someone is wanting them to be happy.”

“I’m happy with you,” Sin insisted to Eddie. “And you’re fucking pushing me away. How can you say that’s love?”

“The only other girl I ever loved besides you was Meredith,” Eddie silenced Sin by turning the conversation in a direction she was unsure of. “And even though it hurt to let her go, I knew I had to, BECAUSE I loved her. I loved her, so I wanted her to be happy. And I’m not saying I’m letting you go; I’m just… I think you need to figure out some stuff – about me, about Zip, about yourself. And I want to help you. But tonight? This you should do on your own.”

“I still don’t understand…” Sin said softly, but her voice wasn’t as insistent as it had been a moment earlier. “You want me to go alone?” she finally asked, looking into Eddie’s eyes.

Nodding, Eddie forced himself to go on. “I know how I feel about you,” he told Sin. “But I need to know how you feel about me. And I think for you to give me an honest answer, you should see Zip. Alone.”

“I’ve seen him plenty of times alone since we started dating-”

“How about since I told you I love you?” Eddie interrupted.

Looking down, Sin shook her head. This still seemed like an awful idea to her, but she could tell that Eddie really believed it was the right thing. “And you?” Sin looked up into Eddie’s eyes again, swallowing hard. “You’ll be here when I get back?”

“I’ll be here,” Eddie promised, putting his hands on Sin’s shoulders and kissing her forehead.

“Okay,” Sin said sadly. Leaning over, she kissed Eddie’s lips softly before getting up to gather her things. Walking to the door, she turned to face Eddie. “I’ll be back early,” she promised, and he nodded. “And I’ll tell everyone you weren’t feeling good.”

Watching Sin walk out the door, Eddie sighed heavily. “I’m not feeling good,” he grumbled to himself, wondering if he just made the biggest mistake of his life.

-----

I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE ARE PICKING UP STICKS AND STONES RIGHT NOW, AND ARE GOING TO WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER TO SEE WHETHER THEY SHOULD THROW THEM AT ME…

A FEW WORDS FOR REVIEWERS:

TEMPLETON21: A FRIEND OF MINE ALSO GREW UP IN A SMALL OHIO TOWN, WHICH IS WHY I CHOSE IT FOR THE LOCATION.

EBONI: THANKS FOR WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT ZIP. I AM THINKING OF MAKING HIM THE FOCUS OF MY NEXT STORY, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE DON’T LIKE HIM VERY MUCH. BUT IF YOU’VE READ MY OTHER STUFF, YOU KNOW THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE DIDN’T LIKE MARCUS IN ‘STARTING OVER’, BUT DID LIKE HIM IN ‘YOU DON’T KNOW ME’, AND OTHERS DIDN’T LIKE EDDIE IN ‘LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE’ BUT DO IN THIS STORY. SO WE’LL SEE.

MEGAN: I WOULDN’T WORRY ABOUT THAT IN THIS STORY… BUT I MAKE NO SUCH PROMISES FOR FUTURE STORIES!

AVIDREADER: YOU GAVE ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT, AND I WANT TO THANK YOU. MUCH OF THIS CHAPTER CAME FROM POINTS YOU BROUGHT UP.

THANKS ALSO TO MIZTIKAL_DRAGON, CIEL, AND CARIAD FOR REVIEWING.