Divinitas

018 - Fighting Against Oneself

The impossible battle I can never win…

~ * ~

Three more hours.

Phoenix grinned. Only three very short hours more and he would have won the stupid bet! He could all but taste victory. Yes, all he had to do now was wait for the clocks to tick to midnight, and then he would have one week of pure freedom. Ah, things were looking up at last!

The boy nodded to himself, steps light as he made his way back to the dorm room after a late night individual Metamorphosis training session. Nothing could have bothered him right then and there. Not even the itchy bandage he always wore now, wrapped around his stomach to hid the unsightly scar of Aether\'s name.

Lost in his own joyful world, Phoenix didn\'t see the other person until he had walked right into them, forehead smashing into the other\'s chin.

\"Owww…\" Phoenix complained, rubbing his smarting forehead. \"Can\'t you watch where you\'re going?\"

A cool lethal hand caught Phoenix\'s chin, tilting his head up and capturing his pursed lips in a tender kiss. \"No, I was too enthralled by you.\" Aether said softly, drawing back and tucking a stray strand of Phoenix\'s hair behind his ear.

Phoenix face faulted, roughly tying to push Aether away. Well… One hand was trying to push him away. His r har had clutched Aether\'s shirt sleeve and didn\'t seem to want to let go. Phoenix glared at his traitorous hand and snatched it back, hiding it behind his narrow back.

Aether laughed at Phoenix\'s actions, slipping an arm around Phoenix\'s waist and pulling him forward until their two bodies were pressed up against one another. The younger boy gasped as Aether\'s cool smooth palm slid down the back of his pants, long fingers stroking Phoenix\'s firm rounded cheeks. His lips sought out Phoenix\'s throat, kissing just above the silver collar, pink wet tongue flickering out to taste the boy\'s skin.

Crimson eyes closed as Phoenix tilted his head back, bearing his graceful throat to Aether\'s gentle teeth. His body relished in Aether\'s presence, sung with something akin to bliss at being so close to him, touched by him. Why had he ever resisted this before…? This was Heaven…

A moan of pleasure emitted from his throat, and his wandering hands alive with their own desires sought to bring Aether\'s taller body closer to his. Soon Phoenix\'s arms were wrapped tightly around the small of Aether\'s back, and his lips were hungrily kissing those of his sworn adversary.

These kisses, these embraces… So necessary and so familiar. There were flashes in the mind\'s eye that were too fast to glimpse. Memories built upon dreams perhaps, because they had never occurred in this lifetime.

Nothing mattered though. Nothing aside from feeling Aether\'s tongue slide against his own, and the warmth of their mingled saliva trickling down the corner of his mouth. Such lips, as if made specifically for kissing him and vice versa.

The horrified scream cut through the air like Hell\'s Bells. Reality crashed down around Phoenix as if the arched painted ceiling had caved in, his entire body jumping back from Aether has if he had been stung.

\"Ahhh! You willingly kissed Aether!\" Casi exclaimed. \"And you were letting him feel you up too! How could you, Little Phoenix!\"

\"Oh fuck…\" Phoenix whispered. He couldn\'t believe it. He could not believe it. Everything Casi had just said was true. He had just betrayed himself, broken his own promises… How low could he go? And to make matters worse, Casi wasn\'t alone. She had with her two girl friends who seemed to be trying everything to cover up their infectious giggling and failing miserably at it.

Something was terribly wrong though. Aether was laughing softly, the light in his violet eye dancing vividly. His laughter grew, wrapping his slender arms around his middle as if his delight threatened to burst forth from him.

\"What the Hell is so funny? I suppose you like having an audience?\" Phoenix demanded. Why exactly he was angry confused him. As if he was mortified that Aether could see their relationship in such a jovial light.

It took a moment before Aether could contain himself and he look at Phoenix, smiling widely. \"Of course not… I want you all to myself. I want to be the only one to see you in a state of absolute bliss, or broken and bleeding upon the floor… But I am finding this very amusing because you just lost our little bet.\"

That shut Phoenix up. His mind raced backwards in desperation, trying to pinpoint any moment where he had allegedly slipped up. \"Oh fuck…\" Phoenix whispered again. \"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!\" The flames in his crimson eyes flared. \"You underhanded fiend! You fucking set this up, didn\'t you? I\'m going to kill you!\" The boy lunged at his tormentor, only to halt himself in mid air as Aether withdrew the katana always clasped to his waist, threatening to run Phoenix through with it, a most sadistic smile on his face.

\"Oh, I must disagree, my lovely sacred bird of fire… All I did was kiss you. After all, how was I to know Casimir would saunter up with two of her very beautiful friends and ruin our little make out session?\" At this, the girls beamed at Aether, waving to him enthusiastically.

\"Damn you…\" Phoenix seethed, back-stepping and then lashing out with his foot to knock Aether\'s katana from his grasp. In the blink of an eye, Aether had caught the attacking foot with his free hand, throwing Phoenix completely off balance with a swift upward motion of his hand. The slighter boy was wiped off his feet, landing with a heavy thud on the stone floor.

\"In any case, Phoenix, a bet is a bet, and you lost. Thus you must suffer the consequences. Of course, you could always give in and enjoy them, but your fighting spirit makes your conquest all the more sweet for me…\" To punctuate the implications of his words, Aether ran the tip of his katana vertically down Phoenix\'s slightly exposed stomach. Not with enough force to pierce the skin, but it sliced through the bandages and left a line of red that ran through his navel.

Immediately Phoenix\'s hand shot down to his stomach, not to hold the scratch, but to hide a certain name that had been carved just to the left of it. Glaring, he rolled over and jumped to his feet, taking a step or two away from all parties present.

\"Still shy, aren\'t we…\" Aether smiled, a grinning Cheshire Cat. \"Tomorrow, Phoenix. I\'ll be waiting for you at four by the main entrance. However many minutes you\'re late will translate into hours of additional time spent in my company. Fair\'s fair, don\'t you think?\" He winked once and then turned to leave. \"Oh, by the way, Casimir. Thankyou very much for you help. Without you, I doubt my lovely Phoenix would have sworn. But since he has, he\'s now obliged to sleep in my room for a week,\" he added as he walked past Casi, free hand brushing up against her shoulder in a gesture of sympathy.

As soon as Aether had rounded a corner and disappeared from sight, Casi lunged at Phoenix, all but strangling him. \"How could you?!\" she yelled, her delicate hands wrapped around the boy\'s throat and banging his head continuously on the stone wall behind him. \"Don\'t you have any self control!? Do you understand that you have to sleep with Aether for a whole week!? Ahhh!\" She paused here, and left Phoenix crumple to the floor, most likely unconscious with a concussion. \"But that\'s so cute too!\" she exclaimed, grinning like a school girl… Which she was, so it was rather normal in Casi\'s case. \"Awww… My Little Phoenix as Uke… Very cute, very cute!\" She picked up the fallen boy and hugged his head fiercely to her chest. The poor boy would have been in fear of suffocation had he not been unconscious.

One of Casi\'s friend tapped her on the shoulder, saying they\'d better hurry if they didn\'t want to keep the others waiting. It was movie night after all!

\"Oops, I almost forgot!\" Casi said with a sheepish grin, dropping Phoenix\'s head onto the floor again. \"What are we watching tonight?\" the House of Fire cheerleader inquired in a chirping voice as their footsteps faded into the distance, echoing softly.



~ * ~

Strangely enough, it wasn\'t thoughts of what Aether had planned for the upcoming evening that was bothering Phoenix terribly at the moment. Once again, as he walked down the corridors and stairways towards the front entrance, Phoenix\'s head was upturned, eyes tracing the exquisite paintings upon the ceiling. More and more, as he adapted to the Castle of Genesis, he seemed to think them familiar. As if he had seen them before, and this was undoubtedly home.

Why did he think they were connected somehow to Gryps\' wounds? The image of the silky fine strand of hair flashed in his mind. Hair he could just imagine those beings in the paintings to possess. But… His blood wasn\'t staining the walls within the castle… They were splattered like multiple raindrops on the statues that formed the gate, darkening the ancient stone.

Phoenix\'s consciousness was elsewhere as he walked down the steps, exiting the castle and stepping out into the afternoon sunlight. Crimson eyes blinked in the intense and very warm light, irises quickly contracting.

\"Hey Phoenix!\" Chima\'s cheerful voice greeted the older boy, his one free hand waving enthusiastically. In his other he held two sets of reins that were attached to two horses, one as black as midnight, the other as golden as the sun.

The blood red eyes focused on Chima, and pale lips curved up into a smile before immediately scowling with suspicion. \"Oi, what are you doing here with Solar Flare and Venus?\"

\"Err… Well…\" Chima started, looking a little sheepish.

\"I asked Chimaera to prepare them for us,\" Aether\'s smooth voice whispered into Phoenix\'s ear as his slender arms encircled about the thin boy\'s waist. Cool wandering hands slide up the front of Phoenix\'s shirt, a velvet finger tip brushing up against a small nipple.

Phoenix\'s face turned crimson as the sensation sent a thrill running directly to his groin, and he snatched Aether\'s hands away from him, all but throwing himself bodily away from the older boy. \"Quite glomping me, you perverted fiend!\"

\"But you do so enjoy it, and I delight in seeing the pleasure bloom on your lovely features…\" Aether said in a husky voice, causing Phoenix to blush deeper.

Chima coughed loudly, the faintest shade of pink colouring his boyish cheeks.

Aether turned his attention to the emerald eyed boy, smiling appreciatively. \"Thankyou, Chimaera. If there\'s anything I can do for you in the future, you need only ask,\" Aether said, taking Venus\' reins and stroking the long golden face with his hand. The look that passed between horse and rider was one of love and devotion… And for some reason, Phoenix suddenly felt very jealous.

Before his brain could quite register what he was doing, Phoenix had grabbed Solar Flare\'s reins and pulled the black stallion away from Venus and Aether. The tall horse seemed to glare at Phoenix, liquid amber eyes hardening. \"Well, are we going or not?\" Phoenix snapped, trying to make the much larger animal stand still. \"I want to get this over and done with.\"

\"I believe I said \'willing and pleasant boyfriend\', Phoenix. You\'re not being overly pleasant right now,\" Aether warned, not even bothering to look at Phoenix who was playing tug-a-war with Solar Flare.

\"Oh, would you rather me cling to you and profess my undying love?\" Phoenix growled out from where he hung in mid air, his horse having flung his dark head skyward, lifting the boy bodily from the ground.

Aether smirked, mounting his filly with a fluid motion. \"It would be a start.\" Nudging Venus\'s flanks, the palomino danced into a trot, moving towards the gate in a graceful gait. \"Better hurry, Phoenix, or I will count this as your breaking your word, and you\'ll pay heavily for it!\"

Phoenix scrambled onto Solar Flare\'s back, Chima helping by pushing the boy up from below. \"Chima, if you ever find yourself the obsession of a fiend like that, I advise you to forget your pride and run,\" Phoenix muttered to the younger boy who looked up at him with innocently wide emerald eyes.

\"Umm… You haven\'t?\" Chima pointed out, blinking.

\"Yeah, well, I\'m very stupid,\" was Phoenix\'s reply before Solar Flare burst into a canter to catch up with the golden filly and her master.

\"Mou… Old people are so confusing…\" Chima mumbled to himself, placing his hands on his head and walking back down to the stables, emerald locked on fading sky blue.



~ * ~

The sun shone from its cradle of ocean waves, a brilliant golden disk sitting on shimmering silk. The clouds that streaked the fading blue sky were washed with hues of red and orange, creating a stunning sunset as Aether and Phoenix arrived in the town below the Castle of Genesis.

Neither boy had spoken much to one another since leaving the Castle of Genesis. Phoenix had made a point of riding behind Aether so he wouldn\'t have to feel that violet gaze watching him. This had its draw back though, because Phoenix couldn\'t quite advert his crimson eyes from Aether\'s slender back.

Seeing Aether sitting so gracefully astride his horse, clothed in his immaculate long black pants and tight deep purple silk shirt made Phoenix question why exactly Aether was \'dating\' him. It was obvious from last night\'s display that any girl would go out with Aether if he so much as winked at them, so why was he wasting his time with Phoenix, a boy with no class, no breeding, and who couldn\'t even control his rebellious horse?

Was this insecurity…?

Phoenix frowned. These thoughts were not fitting for him. He was suppose to not care about Aether, he was suppose to hate the boy. Not enjoy his company, or worry about losing him! Humans were such fickle creatures…

The red eyed boy was so focused on glaring at Aether\'s back that he did not even notice both their horses had stopped. Only when Aether dismounted, landing soundlessly on the ground did Phoenix recognise where they were.

Jumping down from Solar Flare\'s back and nearly spraining his ankle, Phoenix surveyed the restaurant he had sat outside of almost two weeks ago. It was an elegant place, softly lit inside by candles on the tables and over hanging light fixtures. The floor to ceiling windows gave the patrons a wonderful view of the ocean, and was no doubt used to hike up the prices.

Two waitresses suddenly appeared from the entrance of the restaurant and walked up to Aether and Phoenix, taking their mounts from them. Both smiled and nodded to Aether before walking the two horses around to the back of the restaurant, concealing them from view.

\"You come here regularly with your horse?\" Phoenix inquired, jerking his head in the direction of the restaurant.

\"No. Never been here before,\" Aether replied, walking up the steps to the entrance of the restaurant. He looked back and smiled at the younger boy. \"Money, Phoenix, will buy you into more places than you can imagine.\" He pulled the glass door open and gestured for his \'date\' to enter first.

Instantly upon stepping inside, Phoenix felt very out of place. The boy became overly aware of the attired he wore… Ripped jeans and sleeveless shirt stuck out like a sore thumb among the semi-formal clothing worn by all the other patrons. Aether didn\'t even blink an eye, smiling charmingly at the waitress who seated them at a table of two by the window. She lit the single candle between them and handed each of them a beautifully designed menu before telling them their waiter would come shortly to take their orders.

\"Phoenix… You are above the other people here. Do not spare a thought as to what they think of you and your appearance,\" Aether said softly as he noticed the younger boy try to hide behind his menu, propped up like a fence. One couldn\'t really blame Phoenix though. Many of the older patrons had glanced at the pair upon their entrance, muttering about how they shouldn\'t allow such grubbily dress children to enter. After all, didn\'t the sign at the front door say \'smart causal wear\'?

Red eyes glared at Aether from over the menu, the orbs dancing with candle light and the dying rays of the sun. \"Above the people here?!\" Phoenix bit out. \"In case you didn\'t know, I\'m an orphan. An orphan! I grew up in a world that has always looked down on me! You expect me to suddenly just believe I am better than others and be unaffected by their demeaning glares? Oh, and your treatment of me has helped so much too! I\'m wearing a collar! A collar!\"

The waiter chose that moment to walk up to their table, holding an expensive bottle of wine and two glasses. With expert motions, the man had placed the two crystal glasses on the table and had poured the sparkling pale liquid.

\"Are you trying to get me drunk!?\" Phoenix hissed, not caring in the least that the waiter was still standing beside the table, waiting patiently to take their order. \"I\'m sixteen! Sixteen! Below the legal age!\"

\"Ah, I\'ll have the Fish of the Day, thankyou,\" Aether told the waiter with a smile, handing him his menu and ignoring Phoenix\'s little outburst.

\"And you, sir?\" the waiter inquired, addressing Phoenix who still had a killing glare locked on Aether.

But that voice… Deep and slightly husky. He had heard it somewhere before… Glancing up for the first time, Phoenix was greeted with a familiar face. The same strawberry blond hair shadowing blue-grey eyes whose directness was both refreshing and uncomfortable at the same time. Seeing the light of recognition dawn in Phoenix\'s eyes, the waiter winked. \"The crab is quiet good. Very fresh and sweet, I guarantee it.\" Here he leaned down closer to Phoenix and whispered, \"It\'s also the most expensive item on the menu. After all, someone like you is definitely worth it, don\'t you think?\"

Phoenix was caught between being mortified and laughing outright. This young man seemed to see through his situation perfectly. \"Alright. I\'ll have the crab, thanks,\" Phoenix decided finally, grinning.

The waiter winked again, the silver ball on the ring through his eyebrow spinning, before taking Phoenix\'s menu and leaving them.

Aether regarded the boy sitting in front of him and his reaction to the waiter for a moment before speaking. \"I\'m quite aware of how old you are, Phoenix. Isn\'t it good to have new experiences though? It will also relax you… It seems you are always very uptight around me.\"

\"Oh, I wonder why…\" Phoenix replied sarcastically, glaring at the crystal glass filled with pale golden liquid as if it were the deadliest of poisons.

\"And Phoenix… Does it matter that you\'re an orphan?\" he asked in a low soft voice that almost made it seem he cared and was concerned. He continued in the silence of Phoenix\'s reply. \"It does not to me. Whether you were a rich and noble prince or a lowly pauper. It would not change my desire for you to belong to me, now and forever.\"

The words that came from Phoenix\'s throat were tinged with bitterness. \"Ah… Of course it doesn\'t matter. A possession is only as great as the master who owns it, right? So of course it wouldn\'t matter.\"

A heavy and uncomfortable silence fell like a wet blanket over the two. Then Aether\'s cold command for Phoenix to pick up his glass and drink. The boy\'s trembling hand grasped the stem of the tall glass and lifted it to his lips, even as his mind screeched like a mad parrot for him to throw it in Aether\'s face. The wine was bitter on Phoenix\'s tongue, and burnt just a little as it slipped down his throat.

\"You control me…\" Phoenix whispered as his hand, with a life of its own, set the glass down gently on the table. \"Every command you give, my body follows, no matter how much I want to do exactly the opposite…\" There was a disbelieving tone in his voice, as if he couldn\'t quite acknowledge how this could be. Past occurrences bombarded him like cannon balls, each dealing a fatal blow to some delicate part of him. The tryouts for Metamorphosis, that time in Aether\'s room… His body truly belonged to Aether…

\"Yes. The collar, Phoenix. It is more than a sign of ownership,\" Aether said quietly, sipping from his own glass, eyes watching the light fade from the sky. Death of fire, birth of darkness.

\"Ah…\" Phoenix heard himself sound out. Too outraged to speak… Blown away by the implications that suddenly dawned on him. He looked up at Aether with masked crimson eyes. \"How am I meant to take this, Aether…?\" His voice sounded small and pleading in his ears, none of the fire and defiance that portrayed his strength of character.

Aether\'s face remained turned away from Phoenix\'s, pale skin flawless bathed in the candle light. For a long time he was silent, and Phoenix was about to repeat his question when a small smile filtered onto his deceivingly innocently lips. \"Isn\'t it easier to simply accept what has been dealt you, than to fight it?\" he asked the younger boy, though it seemed he was asking the same thing of himself. \"Stop fighting me, Phoenix. You belong to me. Leave it at that.\" There was a finality in his tone Phoenix dared not rebel against… Though he wondered whether his obedient silence was of his choice, or of Aether\'s commanding will.

\"I gotta go to the bathroom,\" Phoenix said suddenly, his voice clipped and strained. Without waiting for a response, the boy stood and walked quickly to the restrooms, grateful that they were empty. Immediately he rushed to the sink, shaking hands clutching the imitation marble like claws. Red eyes stared blindly down into the sink, and watched with a detached gaze as his lunch was heaved up, a horrible mixture of colours accompanied by a stench that was utterly sickening. The pain that encircled his stomach and throat was almost unendurable, his whole body tingling from the effort.

After what seemed like an eternity, it was over. There was no more to wretch up, and an uneasy state alm alm had fallen. Phoenix\'s hand blindly reached up to turn on the water faucet, letting the rush of cold clear water wash away the unsightly mess. He desperately wanted to wipe his mouth, to rid himself of the filth that dribbled down the corners of his lips.

A wetted handkerchief was suddenly handed to him. By a hand that bore a thick silver band around its middle finger. Only now, the band lacked any design or markings. The black engravings had been turned to face the inside of the palm for some odd reason. Had it been so when the young man had taken his order?

\"Thanks…\" Phoenix muttered, taking the offered cloth and cleaning himself up with it. \"Heh… You always seem to turn up when I need something.\"

\"All part of the service,\" the man said with a thin-lipped smile. He had a cigarette in his mouth again, and raised a Zippo lighter to ignite it. \"That, and I needed a smoke.\" He took a long drag, eyeing Phoenix with his naturally narrow eyes. \"He the same guy that was causing problems for you a few weeks ago?\"

Phoenix glanced at the man standing beside him in the reflection of the mirror. The soft lights in the bathroom, accompanied by the classical music playing softly through unseen speakers gave the atmosphere a surreal appeal. \"That obvious?\" the boy finally asked, dropped his gaze again to the water that gushed forth from the tap, its white stream swirling down into the drain.

The man reached over and turned the faucet off. \"Rather. In my experience, young people only hurt themselves over two things. Either its lack of love, or a confusion in love. And since you have a very handsome young man waiting for you at your table, looking just a little upset but trying to hide it behind his charming smile, I would put my money on the latter.\"

\"It\'s not love,\" Phoenix muttered in protest. \"It\'s all power play.\" The boy scowled. \"He\'s obsessed with owning me, that is all.\"

\"Oh? But you like him, right?\" the man asked, a teasing tone accompanied by a teasing smile. Phoenix glared. \"Well, let me tell you what I think. The only reason he is obsessed with owning you, as you say he is, is because he\'s afraid of losing you. Perhaps he loves you so much he is afraid if he doesn\'t hold onto you with all his strength, you will slip through his fingers.\"

The boy opened his mouth to protest, yet no words came forth. His mind was clocked at a hundred miles per hour, high with delight at being told Aether loved him. His hand threw the tap on full and suddenly found his head underneath the raging torrent of water, effectively soaking all his hair.

The waiter laughed, a deep good-hearted laugh that echoe the the tiled walls. \"I\'m Ash, by the way.\" He paused, looking thoughtful, and then ed aed a card and pen from his pocket, scribbling something down on the back of it. \"If you ever want some company or objective advice, my door is always open.\"

Phoenix accepted the card almost suspiciously. \"Thanks… Err, I\'m Phoenix.\" He examined the card in his hand, which was just a business card for the restaurant. Turning it over revealed an address and phone number.

\"Well, Phoenix, it was nice meeting you again. But your dinner\'s almost ready, so I suggest you shake that flaming hair of yours and dry it off, and then get back to you table.\" Ash pushed open the door, and with a final wink and smile, left the younger boy to his own devices.

When Phoenix finally left the restroom, and approached the table again where Aether sat, hand absently swirling the wine in his glass, the boy was once again composed as much as his character would allow. He had dried his hair as well as he could, but now he looked even more like a street rat, his hair sticking up in every direction.

Seeing his Phoenix in such a state wiped all sombreness from Aether\'s being, and he couldn\'t help but laugh softly, the gleam in his eye returning at once.

\"Shut up,\" was all Phoenix growled out, picking up his glass and downing the contents in one gulp. It just seemed logical to him to get drunk as fast as possible.

Their meals arrived before any words could pass between the two, the scent of freshly cooked seafood catching Phoenix\'s attention. The boy\'s stomach, not having consumed any food since lunch, rumbled in anticipation, and his mouth watered at the site of the grilled fish on Aether\'s plate, and at the brightly coloured red and white of the crabs before him, basted in a buttery sauce.

Phoenix pounced on a meaty claw, crushing it with a maniac\'s enthusiasm with the provided nut cracker. Aether gave a delighted laugh, watching Phoenix with a lingering twilight gaze. Phoenix wisely decided to ignore him… Besides, the sweet soft crab meat was rather distracting. With a loud wet sound, he sucked the juices from its shell, more than satisfied.

Well… Until the over bearing silence that followed made itself known to Phoenix. He looked up to see everyone in the damned restaurant staring at him. Some of the older patrons actually looked disgusted, and there was a whisper of how youths were becoming more crude in this day and age. Two girls at a nearby table openly giggled, whilst their eyes roamed over Aether\'s agile and graceful body, pointing and gossiping.

Aether\'s eye passed over them, and his face hardened a fraction. The same eye turned back to Phoenix, and with a smile, he lifted his hand and touched his finger to the boy\'s cheek, wiping a speck of juice that had clung stubbornly there. He then placed that finger in his mouth, slowly, sensually, and sucked, openly displaying to all his relationship to Phoenix.

That shut those girls up. But of course, Phoenix being the ungrateful boy he was, stuck his fork into a piece of Aether\'s fish and shoved it into his mouth, chewing angrily. Aether laughed again, a sweet boyish laugh, but one that no longer held any innocence.



~ * ~

The first bottle of wine had been emptied and removed. A second half full bottle sat on the table, and Phoenix was sipping the bittersweet liquid through his lips, wondering in the fuzzy warmth of his mind, how Aether\'s lips would taste when this white wine stained them…

\"Oi… When are you going to gimme that back…\" Phoenix heard his voice slur out. It was an effort to keep his eyes opened and focused on Aether sitticroscross from him. The golden haired boy had drawn out Phoenix\'s bandana, and was winding it lazily around his fingers. He was not drunk.

\"This is very important to you in this lifetime, isn\'t it,\" Aether mused quietly, caressing his cheek with the end of the material, feeling its softness and texture. \"Why is that? Why does this matter to you so much?\"

Phoenix eyed Aether, one eye opened wider than the other. \"\'Cause it just does,\" the boy answered. \"Why\'d you care anyway?\" Phoenix wasn\'t liking the direction this conversation was going. He didn\'t want to think about the past. It was too nice, being drunk. Why did Aether have to go and dig in his graves?

\"Because I want to know more about you. This you.\"

Phoenix just frowned. \"No.\" The voice he spoke with was unaffected by the alcohol. It was clear and direct, and utterly denied Aether\'s request, period.

The older boy looked somewhat taken back. But he dropped his gaze, finally, focusing his eyes on the candle was burnt down to a quarter, its wax having ran down its sides to form bumpy ridges on its smooth surface.

\"I have no Mother or Father. I lost all of my family except for my sister a long time ago. Everyone I loved, I lost. And I had done everything in my power to prevent that from happening. Still, it happened.

\"How do you think that made me feel, Phoenix? Do not think I can not empathise with you. We have both suffered.\" Aether\'s perfect hand reached across the table and clasped Phoenix\'s slack one. \"You think me a hypocrite then, do you not? Saying I can empathise with you, and understand the pain you feel, yet I am still causing you to suffer?\" A sad bitter smile haunted Aether\'s lips. \"I probably possess a very selfish soul.\"

\"I started the fire that killed my parents.\"

The suddenly spoke words hung in the stagnate air, shimmering in the heat above the candle for an eternity before dispersing like black smoke.

\"So I don\'t think it\'s really comparable, your past and mine. You tried to prevent their deaths. I caused the death of mine.\" The alcohol\'s effects were long gone, burnt away in the wake of painful memories. With tear glazed eyes, Phoenix fixed his blood red gaze on Aether and smiled. \"You wanted to know the significance of my bandana? Well, it was the last gift my Father ever gave me.\"



~ * ~

A veiled violet gaze caressed the child who slept in an alcohol induced slumber. Nothing short of the world ending could have woken Phoenix, not even a kiss from his Prince sitting beside him on the oversized bed. Aether gently brushed aside the flaming fringe, finger tracing Phoenix\'s finely drawn eyebrows.

\"If I was a braver soul, I would never have challenged you and made you mine, Phoenix…\" Aether chuckled softly to himself, lifting Phoenix\'s heavy head to tie his black bandana back around his forehead. \"Well, perhaps I would have, simply because I love the fire in your eyes when you\'re angry…

\"I\'m a fool though, that I must admit. Because I forget you are not the same person who once shared so many aspects of my life, even though your souls are one and the same. Your past and his are different. For that reason, you are more fragile, aren\'t you?\"

Aether pulled the unconscious boy closer to him, tucking Phoenix\'s head beneath his own and wrapping his arms around the slight frame.

\"It\'s alright. I won\'t allow others to hurt you again… And I won\'t allow you to hurt me again either.\"

~ * ~

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