The Sea Noose

The Sea Noose


I yawned quietly and stretched, careful not to bump Cian and wake him up. I quietly slipped from the bed, making my way to the kitchen to get something for my growling stomach. I opened the fridge and pulled out the bread, grabbing a butter knife and the peanut butter when I sat the loaf on the counter. I took out two pieces, unscrewed the top of the peanut butter and made myself a peanut butter sandwich.

I took a bite and smiled, the peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth. I walked back to my bedroom, eating as I went, but stopped when I heard a soft whining. I looked behind me and stepped around Vitas, opening the door so he could go outside and answer his call to nature. I sat on the swinging chair as I waited for him to finish.

My sandwich was all gone by the time Vitas came trotting back up to me. He nuzzled my hand and I scratched behind his ear, his hind leg scratching his side. His tongue was hanging from the side of his mouth, grinning a doggy grin at me. I smiled back and nudged him back into the warm house.

I put down fresh food and water for him in front of the fire, adding another log to keep it burning. He nuzzled my hand and started eating his food happily. I smiled again and sat on the couch, my legs crossing on their own. I yawned quietly and folded my arms behind my head, content to just sit and watch the fire burn the maple wood, the intoxicating scent swirling around me as the wood was slowly burning away to nothing.

I turned my head to the side as I heard soft footsteps coming down the hallway. I saw Cian pass by and go into the kitchen, grabbing something to eat. He came back and I smiled sweetly at him.

“Either you just want me to feel really happy right now, or you're just too asleep to care.” he furrowed his brows, confused.

“Care about what?” he took a bite out of his apple.

“You don't care that you're just waltzing about in those lacy underwear.” he looked at me curiously and then looked down, an eyebrow arching when he saw he was indeed wearing the lacy underwear.

“Well, let's just go with I want you to be happy right now.” I nodded.

“Sounds good.” I patted the spot next to me. “Come on and sit down, then.” he nodded and sat next to me, winding an arms around my waist and pulling me close. I smiled and snuggled up against his side, my eyes closing as he held me and continued to eat his apple. I yawned again and sighed softly, my fingers lightly tracing little patters on his exposed chest. He gently kissed my cheek and brushed my hair from my face, tossing the apple core onto the table. I looked up at him and tried to smile softly.

“It's ok, Kassy. You don't have to if you don't want to.” I nodded.

“I know that I don't have to, but.... I want to talk to you about these things. I want to be able to.” he smiled and kissed my cheek again, looking into my eyes. I looked back, my eyes hiding none of the trust and love that I felt for him. His eyes seemed to deepen in color.

“I love you, Kassy.” my eyes brimmed with tears as I heard the three words that I've never heard spoken to me.

“I... I... I...” I couldn't say the words back, the words that I wholeheartedly felt. He smiled softly at me.

“You don't have to say it back, Kassy.” his eyes were sadden slightly. I shook my head.

“But I do! I do! I want to say it, I do! I really, really do!” he nodded and kissed my cheek.

“Kassy, I don't expect you to return my feelings.” I looked straight into his eyes, my emotions staring him in the eye.

“I want to say them back to you Cian, I do. But I just... can't. I don't know why I can't, but I can't.” my voice cracked a tiny bit near the end. He nodded and pulled me closer, rubbing my back gently.

“All right, Kassy, all right. It's ok.” I sniffled softly and rested my head on his shoulder, my fingers resuming their activity of tracing little nothings on his chest.

“...Cian?” my voice was barely a whisper.

“Yes, Kassy?” I sniffled again and closed my eyes.

“I dreamt of him.” Cian shift us on the couch so that he was pressed against the arm rest and I was lying against him, my back to his front.

“What was he doing in your dream?” he asked quietly.

“He... he was trying to get into my bedroom.” Cian nodded and kissed my cheek, his hand stroking my stomach lightly. “But... he was...” I swallowed thickly, “different.”

“Different how, Kassy?” I snuggled back against him and took a deep breath.

“He was rotting.”

“Rotting?” I nodded.

“He was hitting his hand against my bedroom door and I was in here, so I went to see what the noise was. That's when I saw him standing in front of my door. He was... wearing his tight jeans and tight polo shirt. His skin was falling from his face, part of his jaw was missing. His nose wasn't even there. His hands were... boney. The flesh was still decaying as he stood there in front of me.” I took a deep breath and grabbed Cian's hand tightly, the one that was rubbing my stomach.

“He had no eyes,” I continued shakily, “and his eye sockets were hollow. When he turned to me I was frozen in place with fear. He reached out his boney arm to me, his fingers nail yellow and brown and just... aged. His arm... oh, his arm, when he was reaching for me, couldn't take it and it fell off. It just fell off!” I took another breath, my chest hitching. “I screamed as loud as I could.”

He kissed my neck softly, moving one of his legs to hook over my hip and pull me closer to him. I rolled over on the couch, making it so I was lying with him, face to face. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck. I held onto him tightly and he soothingly stroked my back. I sniffled softly and tried to burrow myself within his embrace. He tightened his arms around me.

“I'll never let anything happen to you, Kassy. As long as I can do something about it. I will, I promise you.” I smiled softly into his neck, happy to just be held and feel loved.

“I know, Cian, I remember how you started to help me.” I managed to peek up at him and smiled softly. “I don't think I ever really thanked you for that.” he smiled.

“You don't have to. Just being alive now is thanks enough, Kassy. And if hadn't stepped up to that bastard of a father, no one would have.” my eyes brimmed with tears again and I took a deep breath, trying to sustain them. He looked at me, concerned.

“What's wrong, Kassy? What is it?” I looked him into the eye.

“If you hadn't of done anything... no one would have.” my voice dropped to below a whisper. “No one would have.” his eyes saddened again, a dark shadow passing through them.

“Yes, no one would have done anything.” he looked at me and kissed me softly. “But I'm glad that no one else did, because then I wouldn't have you.” he managed to make me laugh softly, a few tears spilling over and down my cheeks. He brushed them away with his thumb and smiled softly.

“Though I'm not happy about the fact no one would have done something if I hadn't, I do like the outcome.” I nodded and nuzzled his neck softly.

“I am too, Cian. I am too.” I closed my eyes and relaxed against the couch, happy to just be held. He smiled and kissed the top of my head before relaxing with me, the fire burning brightly withing the hearth.