Kingdom Born

Chapter 16: For better or worse

The sun had fallen below the horizon. I had watched it slowly creep to the sea three times since the raider attack. Each passing day sent me into deeper guilt and anguish about the horrors Karl was having to endure while I floated the sea free on board the raider's ship MistRaven. I would die before I failed him this time. Tonight, before moonrise, we would be close enough to Coveport to see the reflected firelight from the wharves.

Returning to my quarters, I barely avoid running into Sanderson. These past two days had seen him trying to change my low opinion of him. When we were transferring the experienced fighters to the MistRaven when he pulled me aside, "You are a remarkable woman, and some of my men, which I would trust with my life, are talking about taming you for their own use."

"Then you better talk to your men, otherwise I'll have to defend myself and you'll be less a few crew members." I was in no mood to play the kingdom woman to these sailors.

Sanderson stared at me as if unsure if I was joking or not. At that moment, I didn't know myself.

He gestured to the stairs leading down below decks. "Take the old captain's quarters. The less temptation to them the better. I'll bring you your meals and we'll start our lessons."

I looked up to him, "What lessons?"

"Karl is a member of the ruling class. He is destined to be the next Thane in Stronghold. He has a position to fulfill and as his wife, you do as well."

"You are assuming that we want to head to your Kingdom."

"You're banished Phara. You couldn't head back to your Sandshore even when we free Karl. You would have to stay somewhere, why not the Kingdom? Karl deserves to know that his father didn't abandon him."

"You have not heard Karl speak of his father. I will not sway his decision."

"I would prefer your cooperation but this will do." When we are under way, I would like to met with you to plan our strategies. I assume that you know Coveport and Misha Righthander better than I."

"I had a map of the city in the sleeve of the tunic I was wearing when I was recaptured. It had details of Protectorate posts and schedules. I met some people who might be willing to help us create some confusion within the walls."

Sanderson stepped closer to me, "You are an amazing woman. My cousin is a lucky man to have a woman like you in love with him." He words were breathed onto the back of my neck then he backed away and disappeared up to the deck.

The rags that I had made were exchanged for more suitable clothing from the stores the raiders had in their living holds. I had suitable and good fitting armour, an excellent sword and a choice of silks and leather finery. I couldn't believe the richness of this ship. It made me sick at heart to think of how many men had suffered for all this. My salary from the guard was enough to support my family but there was never extra to squander on silks and trinkets. Kyle was a growing boy who out grew his clothes rather than wore them out and Karl never complained about having to repair his kilts and my breeches.

I ate a light dinner alone in the captains quarters. After clearing away my dishes from breakfast, I began to set out my armour. I double checked each seam testing them to make sure that I wasn't going to be left open during a skirmish. If the Goddess was willing, Karl would be in my arms by the first bell of the new day. I finished checking out my armour and engaged myself in idle speculation about my new found cousin.

The rest of the first day on the MistRaven was a test. The men under Sanderson's command were leery of me and it was growing tiresome to always be fending off overly loud remarks. They knew better than to try and attack me physically. They had seen and could still see the marks of my resistance on Sanderson's face.

The first mate, Mitch Galen, watched this with interest but did nothing. I knew that he was waiting for me to bring up the conduct of the men to Sanderson just to prove that I needed a man's protection somewhere in my life. I had survived twenty-eight years without Sanderson's aid and I was more than capable of continuing to do so.

My stomach would still get a little bit queasy when the sea swelled high but for the most part my bout with the sickness was over. Still feeling weak, I took myself on deck, took over a small clear area and began to go threw the basic training movements that were now so ingrained into me that I could do them without thinking. It felt good to have my muscles stretched underneath the warmth of the full spring sun. The sword in my hand fit my grip as if it had been crafted for me. I swung it over my head and around in sweeping arcs releasing the tension from my shoulders and upper back.

Sweat began to pour out from underneath the leather armour I was wearing. I did a few more weight shifts and sweeps just to make sure that I could move in my newly acquired possessions then began to go through my established training sets. Soon, it was too hot in the leather armour. I unbuckled it and set it aside to continued. My tunic was clinging to my breasts and stomach but the cool sea breeze would have them dried out soon enough. I continued on, losing myself in the exercises.

"What the hell are you doing woman?"
I pivoted and brought my point up in Sanderson's direction, "I think that my actions are obvious in itself."

"Go put some clothes on if you're going to make a spectacle of yourself." Sanderson's voice was full of scorn.

I looked down at my tunic and breeches. I was fully clothed. The tunic still clung to my chest but then I was working, not providing a show. I looked past Sanderson at the number of men unabashedly staring at me...and I knew that they weren't watching for my expertise in the blade.

"Most of these men haven't had a woman in six weeks."

"And I am to be punished for that?"

"No, but they shouldn't have to be punished. Why couldn't you have done this in your quarters."

"It's too small." I reached down and started to gather up the armour I had shed earlier.

"I know. But these are my men and I have a duty to them and you in your fetching attire is only making distension among them.

"Then they lack discipline."

"What they lack is women!"

"That is not my fault."

"Phara, these men have volunteered to aid us in freeing Karl. We should do our best - meaning you should not be seen by them without your armour which hides...most of your assets. You owe them that much consideration."

"Fine. Call me when we're ready to plan."

"Actually you won't be needed at the session."

"What!"

"You said yourself that you have only visited Coveport Port about three times and each less than a week."

"I've been in the Golden Palace..."

"I have been there more times than you. I have lived in that godforsaken city for three weeks. I know that quickest routes up to it. I know most of the checkpoints that have to be avoided."

"He's my husband."

"He's my blood." Sanderson returned stubbornly.

"What am I supposed to do, stand on the deck in your kingdom dress and wave?"
Sanderson paused and raised a golden eyebrow.

"You are confusing me with your kingdom women again. I am not a woman to be coddled and held when danger strikes. He is my husband. Misha is my enemy and it is my decision that I will free him." The anger that gripped me lowered my voice and tone of my words until I could feel the ice burning into my throat. Who was this man?

"Get below decks!"

I took a threatening step forward bringing the point of my blade than had lowered back to the decks up toward Sanderson's midsection. Mitch stepped between us, hands open and palms up in a gesture of mediator, "Milord, milady...there's no need for violence. We're all on the same side here."

"Then you have best inform your Captain that I am a Daughter of the Blade and am Oath bound to protect my family. I will kill anyone, woman or man, who stands in my way."

"What would Karl say about this?"

"He knew what I was before we were married." I pushed my way past Sanderson and Mitch, walked past the countless staring eyes and returned to my quarter's to work off this anger that seemed to be some much a part of me lately.

That night, I went up on deck. Alone, I stared out across the bright ocean scanning the horizon for more of Misha's ships. I didn't believe that she would have been so arrogant to only send one after us since she went to so much trouble re-capturing me. Maybe she had sent her best after us. If so, she had gravely underestimated what Kingdom men could do. The had fought with the heart of a Daughter. Sanderson padded up to my side and leaned his weight against the railing.

"You look like a woman who has heavy thoughts.

I didn't want to speak about my fears for Karl to this Kingdom man. "Once we free Karl, we have no where else to go except to your Kingdom. I don't look forward to going there."

"May I ask why?" He smiled at no one as he artfully stared out over the darkness of the sea.

"What kind of land can it be being ruled by men?"

"That's a very narrow minded remark." He brought his cold eyes to me.

"Karl has told me how your women are treated little better than mindless horses."

"We cherish women." He protested.

"They have no protection by your laws." I continued feeling a mixture of curiosity and loathing.

"Why would they need it? They have no reason to be embroiled in any legal matters."

I turned to him, ignoring the sideways glances the male sailors were giving me. "So when a woman is mistreated by a man, whether he be her husband or a stranger, she can do nothing"

"Her father or brothers would see to her husband or her husband would see to that stranger."

"But then she might have had to submit to rape before her father could find out. If she picked up a knife and killed the man who threatened her, what would happen?'

Sanderson turned his gaze back out to the sea. "She would be punished..."

"How?"

"Death." His words were quiet.

"Because a woman defended her honour?" I was appalled.

"Because she touched a weapon."

"So in your Kingdom of the Southlands I would be put to death."

"No, you are different."

"You see me as different. You cannot presume to know the minds and feelings of other men. The power of Captain only extends so far, your power as heir to a holding extends a little further but if I were to stray from your sight, I would be subjected to your laws. This is a convenient way to keep your women under your control."

"What about the men in your lands?"

"Don't judge how the men are treated in Coveport as the norm. There are no brothels in Sandshore."
"And if a man has a complaint?"

"He can approach the Guard or any elder on the council. There is an investigation and a trial. Depending on the severity of the crime, the woman can be banished or put to death."

"And if a man wanted to learn the sword?"

I was taken back. There was no need for men to learn the art of war as most were too small and fragile. "No man that I know of has approached the Daughters of the Blade. There are no laws barring him from it."

"What would you do if a man came to the Garrison and demanded to be made a Guard."

I had to laugh. "You are making ridiculous stories."

"No...Karl comes to you and says, I want to learn swordwork."

"Then I'd send him to my mother."

"Why wouldn't you do it?"

"I love him, I wouldn't be hard enough on him. That could go against him."

"Then he comes to you and says, I want to join the Guard."

"It wouldn't happen."

"Why not?"

"I have been banished and barred from the Garrison. Karl would be disregarded by that association alone."

"So then your son says that he wants to be a Guard?"

"It is too dangerous."

"This is his life's dream."

"Then I would have to lobby the Council to get him into the Guard."

"Then they say no."

"Then that is it. You do not go against the Council. If you do you end up with very little." There was a bitterness in my voice. I deserved what had been meeted out.

"Then what is the difference between your laws and mine? A woman cannot hold arms in my kingdom and a man cannot use them in yours."

I couldn't say anything. There was nothing to say.

Sanderson continued, "The strong rule and the weak are protected whether they want to be or not. Our lands are not idyllic but they are good lands. We are good peoples for the most part. Do not judges us on the actions of one man and the faded memories of a boy."

"I will try to with hold my judgment, but the decision is up to Karl. If he doesn't want to return to the Kingdom, we will not go."

"Impartialness is all I ask, Cousin Phara. Now, this being a late hour, I will allow you to retire. Tomorrow I would like to join my commanders to aid us in planning our rescue."

"I will offer all the assistance I can, Warlord."

"We are related now, you can call me Matt."

"That is too familiar a term."

He signed, bowed in respect toward them then left the chambers. Cousin Matthais Sanderson was turning out to be a more interesting man than I had expected. His opinions were meant to be voiced whether or not any one agreed with them. He challenged me mentally, in a different way than Karl. He made me think...about things I didn't want to think about or even consider. When I retired that night, I locked the door and took a small dagger to bed with me.

In the early morning dusk of the second day, Sanderson joined me on deck and leaned his massive figure against the small railing. "I know what you're thinking, cousin."

"Truly? Tell me."

"You're wondering how the Kingdoms evolved. I'm not a historian and I admit that I was less than interested when my tutor's went over it in my lessons."

I turned to him. I had pushed my mother's explanation of how the Goddess came to be bad into the recesses of my mind but I knew it was there. I wanted to compare the difference between our knowledge and the Kingdoms. "Anything you tell me about it would be more than I know right now."

Sanderson nodded, "From what I can remember, the Fires wiped out good farmlands, dried up oceans and seas and just laid to waste hundreds upon hundreds of people. So many died in agony for years after. Children were few and far in between.'

'There was chaos, looting, killing only the strongest were able to stand alone and hold any lands. These men gathered strong followers who became armies and these armies formed a holding which eventually evolved into a Kingdom."

"How many kingdoms are there?"

"There are about 20 that we know of, we haven't been able to cross the mountains to the north and to the east of us. There is still too much ice on the peaks. The Southlands is united under the banner of Haslem the Just. Karl's father is Kaleb Bezer, the War Thane - the commander of Haslem's armies.'

'We have more people that we have liveable lands. There are areas that can't grow anything and at nights they give off a glow. The old women say it's the Hall That Feasts the Souls of the Dead."

"Do you believe it?" I asked.

"There is something...not right with those places."

"The Goddess spared no one."

"I would like to hear more about your Goddess."

"You would do better speaking to a Priestess. Like you I can only tell you the basics. I am nothing more than a soldier."

"You sell yourself far to short. You are an extraordinary woman. Tell me."

I shook my head, "My version could be just as flawed as Misha's.. no maybe a little better but it would be flawed with my own interpretations and prejudices. Still, the main laws of the Goddess is to respect her physical form and all creatures who follow her ways."

"And those who don't."

"No mercy. A quick and painless death."

"And those who stray?"

"Punishment, imprisonment, banishment."

"Wouldn't it be easier to show no mercy those women?"

"The women of the Goddess know better. They had the choice of what they were doing. Those not of the Goddess are little more than animals. They wouldn't understand why they were jailed."

"I find this cold and cruel."

"I don't make the laws, Captain, I only enforce them."

"That is a poor excuse for doing what you do. You strike me as intelligent woman, why do you enforce the laws that you question?"

"I don't question them, I believe in them. I respect them. There are some out in the world that say the Goddess is nothing, that her laws were made up by women. I doesn't matter to me. I believe in the laws: Do not kill unjustly; respect the Goddess mother's physical form; honour your elders; protect the weak, and offer issues to the land. I can live by these laws."

"You're banished for breaking one of them."

"I know why I'm punished, Warlord. I made my choice and I know that it was the right decision. I would do so again and suffer the same consequences."

"Karl is in a brothel because of your choice." There was no accusation, just a statement of fact.

"What are sixty lives compared to two? No matter how much we hurt, I would do the same, with Karl's blessing."

"You are a remarkable woman, Phara Longsword. I am honoured to be your cousin. When we get back to my father's holding I want a full sized sculpture made of you." I furled my brow and looked at him. Before I could say anything, he took my hand and pressed it to his lips. There was nothing sexual about his caress but it started a tingling feeling in my stomach. It had been so long since I had laid with Karl.

"When I found Karl on the beach outside of Sandshore, he was almost dead. I took him to the Temple and let the Priestess's and Healers work on him. I sat by his bed every night...I knew he'd wake up and I wanted me to be the first thing he saw when he did. I promised on our wedding day that I would protect him. I should have rescued him sooner. I should have done something."

"Cousin, you did everything you could. You had the whole city in arms looking for you. What else could you do?"

"I'm a Daughter of the Blade I should have thought of some other way to free him."

"You risked your life for Karl, that is more than enough." He reached out, clutched my shoulders and shook me gently. "Your being dead wouldn't have made any difference to what Righthander did."

I closed my mouth and moved to shove Sanderson's hands off my shoulder. He clenched me tightly to his chest and pressed my head onto the his broad shoulder. He was dressed in soft wool and smelled faintly of scented oil. "Little warrior, you can stop your fighting now. At ease...get some rest," his words were breathed into my hair, "you've been through more than most men I have known and I'm surprised that you aren't exhausted."

Tears burned at my eyes and I burrowed deeper into his shoulder.

"Phara, I didn't mean to make you cry."

His hands reached around and cradled me, his finger tips resting near my breasts, "Don't touch me. I'm a married woman."

"I'm a married man." Sanderson returned.

I lifted my head and stared at him, "You honour your wife well."

"Merric and I were betrothed to each other long before we were born...our wedding was nothing more than an agreement between two holdings. She has her lovers, I have mine."

"My wedding was made out of love, respect and honour. Nothing has changed between us. Why do you find that so hard to understand?"

"I want you." His hands began stroking up and down my back. His lips found my ear and began to kiss it. Shivers thread through my body.

"No."

"You feel the attraction between us. We are so alike, but I know that our coming together would be nothing more than friends consoling friends." He extended his hand to me, "Are we friends, Phara?"

I stared at him, knowing what I was going to do before I even moved. I caught up his hand and walked with him toward the stairs that lead to my quarters. Once inside, I grabbed at the back of his head, and pulled his lips to mine. His breath was tainted with the taste of beer.

He stood, carrying me effortlessly with him, "I'll make it glorious." He carried me across the narrow hall to his own chambers and kicked the door shut behind us. Carefully, as if he was suddenly handling fragility, he placed me gently in the middle of his huge bed. He laid his long length beside me, pressing his fullness against my upper thigh. Heat rushed from my toes and flamed through every inch of me until my face was burning. His fingers stole under my tunic and teased my stomach with his finger tips. I stayed his hand and stared up at his scarred face,

"I still love him."

"I don't want to take his place."

"You couldn't."

"A lesser man would take that as a challenge." Sanderson leaned forward and pressed his lips to my throat, flicking his tongue along my skin , making me burn for him even more than before. "I respect you far too much to try. Come here."

Sanderson pressed his lips to my temple, nuzzling me in a coaxing manner, willing me to join in the play. Gentle tender kisses that excited my skin and left tingles were he touched me. A shiver of desire ripped through my body rushing along my skin in instant sensation. Sanderson moved his body over mine, careful not to press too much weight on me. I felt...protected. Cautiously I reached up to touch his face, I ran my fingers along his scars.

"Do they offend you?" He raised his face away and peered down at me with a pensive look.

"You must have went through so much pain."

"I was young and stupid. I wandered off away from the hunting party and almost got killed. This scar is a part of me."

I cupped the back of his head and pressed him close, carefully I pressed my lips to the toughened skin. I kissed his forehead, lids then teased my mouth along his lips. Our tongues duelled with each other before we broke apart. I reached for the lacings that held my tunic closed. Sanderson's hand closed over mine. "I'll do it."

With great concentration, he loosened my ties, then bent forward and kissed each newly exposed area. My stomach clenched as a fire burst between my legs. "Sanderson..."

"Matt..." He planted his lips on mine then began to pull my shirt over my head. The lack of the familiar feel of hair cascading down my back broke my mood. Sanderson sensed it immediately. He ran his fingers over the short dyed mess that replaced my long warbraid. "I wish I had a woman who would cut her hair just for me."

"Karl liked my hair."

"He'll understand...and it'll grow back."
Sanderson's hands cupped at my breasts, fingering my taut nipples into deeper excitement. His mouth began to suckle on me. I needed him. My hands cupped his buttocks and urged him forward. He resisted, leisurely moving his lips across my chest to my other breast. I took a handful of wool tunic and pulled it over his head. He released me long enough to shake himself free then returned to his titillation.

"Now!" I twisted underneath him to get free of my breeches.

"No," he pinned me back down, "Not yet."

Feverishly I began to kiss his neck and shoulders, gently nipping him with my teeth while my hands moved to his breeches. "Slow down...Little warrior. We've got all night."

"I can't wait...now," I pressed my hips up to his and rubbed on his length. He groaned and rolled off so he could release his breeches. I wriggled out of mine then jumped on him, falling with him under me onto the bed.

I let my face turn into a leer then I bent over and began licking at his smooth chest, teasing his nipples as he had done me. "Are to ready to wait all night?"

"I'm defeated little warrior. To the victor go the spoils."

I laughed, "I'll spoil you."

I eased him inside me. Slowly I slid down his length. Suddenly I found myself on my back with Sanderson poised above me but will full engulfed. His pale eyes matched mine as he began to thrust. Passion ripped through me. Our play turned into a rut. Our moans and groans turned to growls. Nips turned to bites. Shivers ripped through me. Unexpectedly my world exploded into pure pleasure. I felt Sanderson explode within me.

Afterwards, I laid still, Sanderson's warm body pressed tightly against my back, one hand between my legs and the other resting on my swollen breast.

"What are you thinking?" Sanderson's voice was sleepy, but concerned.

"What is Karl enduring right now? What kind of hell is he going through while I enjoy myself..."

Sanderson pulled me back to him, tighter. "We'll get him, little warrior. Don't you worry about a thing. We'll get him back. Just sleep now. Leave the worrying to me for one night, just one night." He pressed his lips against my temple and nestled me comfortably against him,

"Tomorrow you can fight for him, but tonight just rest."

I closed my eyes. My body grew heavy. I almost didn't hear Sanderson whisper, "Little Warrior, why do you have to love my cousin?" I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

Sanderson was in good spirits when I woke in the morning. I scowled at him while he dressed and hummed. He crossed over to me, bent over and planted a brotherly kiss on my forehead. "Since you look so happy, I'll leave you to your musings. I'm hungry and I'm going to grab something warm before the cook tosses it to the gulls. Do you want me to bring you something or are you going to get it yourself?"

"I'll get something to eat later."

He nodded, buckled his swordbelt on and disappeared.

Deep in my heart, I felt misgivings about sharing my bed with Sanderson while Karl still needed me, but I needed him too. I missed not having someone to talk to; someone comforting... I pressed the heel of my palms into my eyes. I had no reason to feel guilty, but I did. Sanderson would never replace Karl. In truth I had used him. Even though he was willing to be used, it was not right. Goddess... What am I doing? I should be concentrating on freeing the love of my life instead I was in bed with his cousin.

A gull's cry near the porthole cut through my self accusation. Birds, we were close to land. I struggled out of bed, wincing at the strain in my muscles, and limped over to the porthole. The sun was high in the sky. Only a few more hours until night fell.

I broke out of my musings and began to concentrate on our planned strategy for freeing Karl. Sanderson had met with Misha in her private quarters above the Golden Palace many times. He knew the secret passages and the right code words.

The Mist Raven would sail into harbour under the cover of night but wouldn't dock which was common practise when an unknown ship arrived well past dark. A small dingy would be dropped on the starboard side were Sanderson, six hand picked sailors, and myself were to row into the docks. Two would go to the smithy and pick up the remaining gold and take it back to the ship. The remaining four would have a short time to make our way up to the Palace before an accidental blaze started in a large warehouse where confiscated goods were kept until auctioned. This would draw the Protectors and every other interested party over to the blaze.

Sanderson would lead us into the hidden passages, so we could by pass the guard postings outside of the main gates. Once inside, it would be simply running to the hidden stairwell that lead up to her private chambers, freeing Karl and making it back to the dingy then the ship. The hardest part of the journey would be the negotiating of the streets back, carrying Karl if he was still drugged.

It sounded so easy. I prayed to the Goddess that it would be as uncomplicated as Sanderson laid it out. Still, the time was a long way away. I laid down and tried to get some sleep. This night was going to be the longest I have ever endured.