Silent Suffering
folder
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
6,946
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Romance › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
6,946
Reviews:
26
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This original, fictional work is the private property of Michelle and cannot be reproduced without permission. Any resemblance to a person, real or fictional is purely coincidental.
Address in the Stars
Dear Liam,
I know it's silly to write you a letter. It's gonna blow away or disintegrate and either way, you’ll never read it. I need to though. Putting my thoughts on paper and leaving it for you makes it feel more concrete. More like you’ll hear my words. Silly right?
It’s been three years since you passed and frankly, it really hasn’t become any easier to live without you. I needed you this year Liam. God, how I needed you. When I was raped (it still bothers me to call it that) I needed your help. I needed you to tell me I was ok. That things would be ok. I wanted my loved to be there but you couldn’t be because you’re gone. And it’s because of me that you’re no longer here. That fact kills me. I think that you sent me Zach and Charlie but I don’t feel like I deserve them. I know you would Gibbs me if you were here, but I feel… dirty. First because I caused you death. If I hadn’t of decided to go to Chicago and just gone with the plan, your parents wouldn’t have been pissed and you wouldn’t have come to see me that night. We wouldn’t have gone out that night, we wouldn’t have been hit by that drunk driver and you would still be alive. It all comes back to me being selfish. I wanted to go where I wanted to go and I should’ve stuck to our plan. I miss you baby. God I miss you.
I hope you approve of Charlie. Eventually I think I could like him. I really do but I just don’t want to betray you. Ridiculous right? I can’t help how I feel, never could. It may sound funny but I still think about what you would think of my art. I always think, “Would Liam like this?” You’re always on my mind and a place in my heart will always be yours. We ended too soon baby but in me, you’ll live on. I wish I would come see you more but even though I can’t, know that I keep you with me. I love you still and I always will.
Yours Forever,
~Michael Dross
I read through the letter one time and seal it in an envelope. I put Liam’s name on the front and kiss it once. My parents, Zach, Charlie and I all pile in the van and go to Liam’s grave. We all walk to it together and I let everyone else visit with him first. Once Charlie steps away, I go up to the grave marker. I place my hand on it and kneel down. I trace my hand across his name, lean forward and kiss the gravestone. I place my letter in front of his stone and then lay my flowers down too. I stand, wipe away a few tears and walk back to the car. I feel my friends’ hands on my shoulders letting me know I have their support as we watch the cemetery disappear out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FYI Notes: "Address in the Stars" is a song by Caitlin and Will. It is a beautiful song about dealing (or not being able to deal) with loss.
The Gibbs thing is from NCIS. Special Agent Gibbs smacks people upside the back of their heads so my friends and I say "I'm gonna Gibbs you" when we want to smack them on the back of the head.
REVIEWS!!!! Pretty, pretty, pretty pwease? *my lip is quivering*
I know it's silly to write you a letter. It's gonna blow away or disintegrate and either way, you’ll never read it. I need to though. Putting my thoughts on paper and leaving it for you makes it feel more concrete. More like you’ll hear my words. Silly right?
It’s been three years since you passed and frankly, it really hasn’t become any easier to live without you. I needed you this year Liam. God, how I needed you. When I was raped (it still bothers me to call it that) I needed your help. I needed you to tell me I was ok. That things would be ok. I wanted my loved to be there but you couldn’t be because you’re gone. And it’s because of me that you’re no longer here. That fact kills me. I think that you sent me Zach and Charlie but I don’t feel like I deserve them. I know you would Gibbs me if you were here, but I feel… dirty. First because I caused you death. If I hadn’t of decided to go to Chicago and just gone with the plan, your parents wouldn’t have been pissed and you wouldn’t have come to see me that night. We wouldn’t have gone out that night, we wouldn’t have been hit by that drunk driver and you would still be alive. It all comes back to me being selfish. I wanted to go where I wanted to go and I should’ve stuck to our plan. I miss you baby. God I miss you.
I hope you approve of Charlie. Eventually I think I could like him. I really do but I just don’t want to betray you. Ridiculous right? I can’t help how I feel, never could. It may sound funny but I still think about what you would think of my art. I always think, “Would Liam like this?” You’re always on my mind and a place in my heart will always be yours. We ended too soon baby but in me, you’ll live on. I wish I would come see you more but even though I can’t, know that I keep you with me. I love you still and I always will.
Yours Forever,
~Michael Dross
I read through the letter one time and seal it in an envelope. I put Liam’s name on the front and kiss it once. My parents, Zach, Charlie and I all pile in the van and go to Liam’s grave. We all walk to it together and I let everyone else visit with him first. Once Charlie steps away, I go up to the grave marker. I place my hand on it and kneel down. I trace my hand across his name, lean forward and kiss the gravestone. I place my letter in front of his stone and then lay my flowers down too. I stand, wipe away a few tears and walk back to the car. I feel my friends’ hands on my shoulders letting me know I have their support as we watch the cemetery disappear out of sight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FYI Notes: "Address in the Stars" is a song by Caitlin and Will. It is a beautiful song about dealing (or not being able to deal) with loss.
The Gibbs thing is from NCIS. Special Agent Gibbs smacks people upside the back of their heads so my friends and I say "I'm gonna Gibbs you" when we want to smack them on the back of the head.
REVIEWS!!!! Pretty, pretty, pretty pwease? *my lip is quivering*