Love, Lose, Live
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
20
Views:
2,853
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
20
Views:
2,853
Reviews:
16
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
If this resembles anyone, dead, alive or otherwise, it is purely coincidental.This is a work of fiction. I, the author, hold exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited
Chapter Sixteen
Sorry about the hiatus!!! My other story was demanding my time and my brain (darn you Michael!) and then I went of vacation and was all distracted. I added this chapter which shows a bit of Lucas attempting to heal and move-on. I think he is doing well and I hope you're as proud of him as I am.
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From downstairs I hear “Lucas! Lucas! Where are you?”
“Upstairs” I yell back at James. I’m sitting in front of my closet going through Brian’s things. James walks in the door.
“Going through some of his things?”
“Yeah. It’s kind of hard. I’ve already cried a few times.”
“I’m proud of you though. This is a pretty big step” he says as he kneels down to hug me.
“I need you to do something for me James. This is hard for me to say but um…” I swallow before I continue “can you take this from me?” I lift up a box cutter. “I found it in the closet and I’m trying to convince myself not to use it and honestly, I’m not doing a very good job.” James grabs the box cutter and it takes me a second to let go of it. I could have used that to escape all of this pain and sorrow. I guess James and the psychiatrist are getting to me because part of me, which is more than before, tells me that life is worth living.
“I am incredibly proud of you baby.” James kisses me on the head, then stands and leaves the room. I look at the boxes of Brian’s things and the thought of parting with them tears at me all over again. I look into the closet where a few of his items still hang. My favorite of his suits is there as are two of his shirts, one bright blue and the other forest green. His college hoodie is hanging there but I wore it more than he did so it’s pretty much mine anyways. He used to tease me about how I looked like the MIT graduate and not him. The memory brings a smile to my face. I head downstairs after I put the MIT hoodie on. I go to the living room and put in the DVD of Brian just so I can hear his voice again. James stands in the doorway and watches as I once again cry as I place my hand on the screen. When the DVD is done, I put it away and James calls to me, telling me dinner is ready. He’s cooked one of my favorite: caprice salad and fettuccini alfredo.
“Thank you James.”
“No problem. I’m proud of you and I just want to see you happy.” I smile and we dig in. we finish our meal in companionable silence. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure” I answer.
“Whatcha want to watch?”
“Uh… I dunno” I reply.
“How about…” he pauses, thinking “The Prince of Eygpt?”
“How well you do know me. It’s the exact movie I want to watch and yet I didn’t even know it” I say with a smile. James smiles too.
“We’ll worry about dishes tomorrow. Come on” he says as he stand putting his hand out to me. I take it and we move to the living room. I sit as James puts in the movie. He sits at the edge of the couch and I lean into him, pulling the blanket over us both. We watch the movie and when it’s over, we go to our beds. For the first time since Brian’s death, I fall asleep without tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From downstairs I hear “Lucas! Lucas! Where are you?”
“Upstairs” I yell back at James. I’m sitting in front of my closet going through Brian’s things. James walks in the door.
“Going through some of his things?”
“Yeah. It’s kind of hard. I’ve already cried a few times.”
“I’m proud of you though. This is a pretty big step” he says as he kneels down to hug me.
“I need you to do something for me James. This is hard for me to say but um…” I swallow before I continue “can you take this from me?” I lift up a box cutter. “I found it in the closet and I’m trying to convince myself not to use it and honestly, I’m not doing a very good job.” James grabs the box cutter and it takes me a second to let go of it. I could have used that to escape all of this pain and sorrow. I guess James and the psychiatrist are getting to me because part of me, which is more than before, tells me that life is worth living.
“I am incredibly proud of you baby.” James kisses me on the head, then stands and leaves the room. I look at the boxes of Brian’s things and the thought of parting with them tears at me all over again. I look into the closet where a few of his items still hang. My favorite of his suits is there as are two of his shirts, one bright blue and the other forest green. His college hoodie is hanging there but I wore it more than he did so it’s pretty much mine anyways. He used to tease me about how I looked like the MIT graduate and not him. The memory brings a smile to my face. I head downstairs after I put the MIT hoodie on. I go to the living room and put in the DVD of Brian just so I can hear his voice again. James stands in the doorway and watches as I once again cry as I place my hand on the screen. When the DVD is done, I put it away and James calls to me, telling me dinner is ready. He’s cooked one of my favorite: caprice salad and fettuccini alfredo.
“Thank you James.”
“No problem. I’m proud of you and I just want to see you happy.” I smile and we dig in. we finish our meal in companionable silence. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Sure” I answer.
“Whatcha want to watch?”
“Uh… I dunno” I reply.
“How about…” he pauses, thinking “The Prince of Eygpt?”
“How well you do know me. It’s the exact movie I want to watch and yet I didn’t even know it” I say with a smile. James smiles too.
“We’ll worry about dishes tomorrow. Come on” he says as he stand putting his hand out to me. I take it and we move to the living room. I sit as James puts in the movie. He sits at the edge of the couch and I lean into him, pulling the blanket over us both. We watch the movie and when it’s over, we go to our beds. For the first time since Brian’s death, I fall asleep without tears.