Elemental Super Heroes!
folder
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
21
Views:
1,364
Reviews:
42
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › Humour
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
21
Views:
1,364
Reviews:
42
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
HoneyMoon
It was three days after Flood and Bud were handfasted to each other. Flame, Wind, Earth, Ice, Shadow, Leaf and Goldenna were sitting around the living room.
Flame was laying on the couch, clinging to Shadow’s hair as she slept, Wind slept on the recliner across the room.
“Why are they so sleepy?” Earth asked.
“Preforming a Handfasting really, really wears out the High Priest and Priestess.” Shadow said, craning his head so Flame could cuddle his hair.
“I see...” Ice said, she was sitting on the love seat, by herself.
“Yes, so...err... where did Bud take Flood for their honeymoon?” Earth asked.
“He took her to Hawaii...” Goldenna started.
“HE TOOK HER TO HAWAII? How much are we paying this butler?” Earth shouted, looking at Storm, who just walked in.
“You didn’t let me finish, Earth... he took her to the corner of Hawaii Street and Hawthorne, over there at ‘Paradise Motel.’” Goldenna said.
“How romantic.” Ice said sarcastically.
“Indeed.” Leaf lay on the floor at Ice’s feet. “Sounds like something my brother would do.”
Ice gave Leaf a swift kick, and he yelped loudly, grabbing his groin.
“That was good.” Earth said, “For once, you deserved that.”
“Would you kindly keep it down Earth?” Shadow hissed, “Flame is trying to sleep.”
“Well, I’m sorry, she should try to sleep on a bed instead.” Earth replied.
Shadow flicked his wrist at Earth, who was suddenly enveloped in a shadowed ball, when the ball vanished, so did Earth.
“Now what did you do with that squirt?” Ice said, still remembering the kiss he gave her, for some reason, she didn’t mind it too much, in fact, she might have liked it a bit too much.
“I sent him to the Shadow Realm.” Shadow said as he curled up with Flame.
“Thank you.” Storm said, “Now I can play ‘Mercy Killing 5\' without him pestering or begging or talking while I try to kill all the bad guys.”
Wind’s eyes shot open, “Mercy Killing FIVE? I want to spar you!”
Storm dove for the better controller, “DEATH MATCH!”
Shadow sighed and rubbed Flame’s hair.
Wind grabbed the other controller and the game was on.
***
“Triple suicide roundhouse murderous kick!” Storm was saying.
“If its suicidal, wouldn’t it kill you as well?” Goldenna said, as interested in the game as the two men playing it.
“It’s a homicidal roundhouse kick,” Wind replied, “Kamikaze Punch is an explosive attack that knocks out one’s own hit points.”
Ice and Leaf were curled up on the loveseat, Flame and Shadow were curled up on the couch, and Earth was somewhere in the Shadow Realm.
“I...I think we should unplug them.” Ice said sleepily.
“Me too.” Leaf said, “But to move would to mean leaving you, and you are warm now.”
“I’m warm?” Ice said, “Damn it!”
“No, no, I like you warm...” Leaf said, clinging to her tighter.
Ice sighed.
Shadow’s head was getting sore, but he just smiled and let Flame sleep.
***
Flame stood up and yawned. She shook her head and looked at Storm and Wind, curled up with controllers, fast asleep. She looked over at Leaf and Ice, sound asleep on the love seat. She laughed at Goldenna, who was using their Playstation as a pillow. Shadow was sound asleep beside her.
Flame stood up and yawned again, stretching
Ice snored a bit and yawned, waking up.
“Hey Ice...what is up with Wind and Storm?” Flame yawned, still latched to Shadow’s hair.
“Uh, some game...” Ice said.
“To you, they are all ‘some game’ unless they are Final Fantasy VII or X or X-2.” Flame sighed.
***
((Warning, in an attempt to meet a deadline, and not keep my friends from waiting for an update, I may use horrid humor/yaoi/and or anything to get the story kickstarted. I doubt this, but you have been warned! ((None of that stuff...horrid humor, Earth acting...strange and...er...you read, it’s not bad...PG13... ESH style.))
***
Deep inside the lair of the Evil Elementals, the group was still recovering.
Glaceria looked around, “Canyon...”
Canyon looked up from his potion boiling on the old wood stove. “Yes Glaceria?”
“How is Lava?” Glaceria handed the male a bottle of rats blood.
“Some cuts, a few bruises...she’ll be alright.” Canyon said, “After this potion...she’ll be back to fighting form.”
“Good, if that Ninja Nun hadn’t stood in for her...”
“With the help of my polyjuice potion of course...” Canyon reminded her.
“Of course Canyon...but as I was saying, if we hadn’t had the Ninja Nuns standing in for us...we might have all been killed.” Glaceria said.
Hurricane walked into the kitchen, sniffing the air. “What is that putrid smell?”
Glaceria smiled at Canyon, then looked towards Hurricane, “Hurricane, it’s a potion for Lava...”
Hurricane nodded, “She’s sound asleep finally... I think she got hurt when trying to quick change... letting the nun take her place...”
“I know... she got hit by a rouge fireball.” Glaceria said.
“Hey, hand me that mushroom powder and the mustard seeds?” Canyon said happily, “I’m almost done with the healing potion.”
“Well, kindly hurry up...” Twig said, walking into the room, “The stench is killing me.”
“Well, what do you think it will smell like? Roses?” Glaceria said as she handed the bottles to Canyon.
***
“Come on Lava...” Glaceria said.
“Ugh...no.” Lava pushed the potion away, “It smells like moldy ass...”
“Lava, if you want to be up to your full fighting strength, I suggest you drink it.” Wave said, “Even though it does smell like ass...”
Lava tipped the goblet and let the putrid liquid touch her lips. She smiled softly and took in the whole goblet before setting it down in Canyon’s hand.
“Thank you...” Lava spoke in her normal evil tone, “I feel better already.”
“Excellent...” A voice behind the evil elementals spoke.
“Dr. Cross!” Hurricane said, turning around.
“Yes... I know how we are going to put an end to those damned Elemental Super Heros once and for all...”
“Just as long as we don’t have to follow them to the grocery store anymore... I think they are catching on!” Smoke spoke.
“Yes... well, I know that Bud and Flood are on their honeymoon... and I also know that Bud is one of the Plant elemental...” Dr. Cross still spoke, but his face was in shadows, “I want Lava and Hurricane to go and kill Bud and his bride, Flood... think of it as my wedding present to them..”
Lava smiled, “Easily taken care of Boss...”
Glaceria asked, “Who’s getting married?”
Canyon sighed, “She’s a dunce.”
***
Shadow had brought Flame to the shadow realm for some ‘one on one’ time. He leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly.
Flame smiled and let her uniform fall around her ankles.
Shadow took in a sharp intake of air.
Flame wrapped her fingers around Shadow’s hair, causing the man to groan.
“Oh...Shadow...” Flame smiled as he lay her down on the soft ground.
“Oh Flame...” Shadow smiled, running his fingers along her collarbone.
“Oh brother!”
Flame and Shadow looked up from their spot.
Flame growled, “Earth...what are you doing here?”
Earth laughed, “Shadow put me in the Shadow realm about four hours ago.”
Shadow smiled at Earth, then leaned down and kissed Flame more passionately then before.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
***
Sometime the next morning Ice was serving biscuits and gravy.
Shadow, Flame, Ice, Leaf, Storm and Wind were all sitting around the kitchen table.
Storm and Wind were fighting over the coffee pot.
“Mine!”
“MINE!”
“MINE!”
“MINE!”
“MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!”
“MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”
Flame walked over and grabbed the coffee pot, “Mine boys...”
Both of them nodded, “Yes Flame.”
Ice piled a plate up with biscuits smothered in gravy and looked around, “Hey...where’s Earth?”I
Shadow shook his trench coat, and out fell Earth, wrapped up in himself in a fetal position, rocking himself why softly saying, “The horrors.... horrors...”
“What happened to Earth?” Ice said, leaning down to touch his hair.
“I have no clue...” Shadow said, innocently.
Ice leaned down and ruffled Earth’s hair, “Earth...I made your favorite breakfast. Come on and eat...”
Earth nodded slowly, “Y...yes...thank you Ice.”
Earth ate with no eye contact between himself and anyone else.
***
Later, in the kitchen, it was just Ice doing the dishes and Earth.
“Hey Earth...you are going to turn eighteen soon...aren’t you?” Ice asked as she ran the water for the dishes.
“Yes...” Earth scrapped the plates off into Blizzard’s bowl. The dog had grown to like the young man.
“So...your powers are going to come into their full potiental...” Ice smiled as she added the soap.
“Yes, I’m excited...I’ll finally be as strong as... you.” Earth had walked up behind Ice and had his head almost upon her shoulder.
Ice took in a deep breath as she felt Earth so close to her. “Earth...” Ice spoke softly.
“I know what I want for my birthday...” Earth whispered in Ice’s ear.
Ice swallowed hard, “A new dagger?”
Earth chuckled, “No...I want you...for my birthday.”
***
Lava and Hurricane walked up to room number Four...the honeymoon suite.
“Lava...are you sure we should be doing this?” Hurricane said.
“It’s simple... we leave this welcome package at their door... it has an bomb in it...it’ll blow them both up...” Lava said, setting the huge ‘fruit basket’ on the door, then knocked.
Both Hurricane and Lava ran off.
Bud opened the door, wearing a pair of boxers, “HE....llo?”
“Who’s there Bud?” Flood said from inside the room.
“Nobody is here...but someone left a gift package...” Bud bent down to pick it up.
“Bring it in and close the door...” Flood said.
Bud slammed the door.
Inside their car Lava and Hurricane looked at each other.
Lava pressed the red button to detonate the bomb.
***
“Who’s the basket from?” Flood asked.
“It...says its from...” Bud began.
The bomb clicked and suddenly the entire building was engulfed in a fireball.
Lava and Hurricane laughed evilly as they drove off, the sounds of fire engines in the background.
((Cliffie, I know, I know...but think of it this way... I’m already working on the next chapter!
Next chapter: Bud... is dead... Funeral... Leaf absorbs his brother’s soul...
Then...next chapter... Earth’s birthday...))
Flame was laying on the couch, clinging to Shadow’s hair as she slept, Wind slept on the recliner across the room.
“Why are they so sleepy?” Earth asked.
“Preforming a Handfasting really, really wears out the High Priest and Priestess.” Shadow said, craning his head so Flame could cuddle his hair.
“I see...” Ice said, she was sitting on the love seat, by herself.
“Yes, so...err... where did Bud take Flood for their honeymoon?” Earth asked.
“He took her to Hawaii...” Goldenna started.
“HE TOOK HER TO HAWAII? How much are we paying this butler?” Earth shouted, looking at Storm, who just walked in.
“You didn’t let me finish, Earth... he took her to the corner of Hawaii Street and Hawthorne, over there at ‘Paradise Motel.’” Goldenna said.
“How romantic.” Ice said sarcastically.
“Indeed.” Leaf lay on the floor at Ice’s feet. “Sounds like something my brother would do.”
Ice gave Leaf a swift kick, and he yelped loudly, grabbing his groin.
“That was good.” Earth said, “For once, you deserved that.”
“Would you kindly keep it down Earth?” Shadow hissed, “Flame is trying to sleep.”
“Well, I’m sorry, she should try to sleep on a bed instead.” Earth replied.
Shadow flicked his wrist at Earth, who was suddenly enveloped in a shadowed ball, when the ball vanished, so did Earth.
“Now what did you do with that squirt?” Ice said, still remembering the kiss he gave her, for some reason, she didn’t mind it too much, in fact, she might have liked it a bit too much.
“I sent him to the Shadow Realm.” Shadow said as he curled up with Flame.
“Thank you.” Storm said, “Now I can play ‘Mercy Killing 5\' without him pestering or begging or talking while I try to kill all the bad guys.”
Wind’s eyes shot open, “Mercy Killing FIVE? I want to spar you!”
Storm dove for the better controller, “DEATH MATCH!”
Shadow sighed and rubbed Flame’s hair.
Wind grabbed the other controller and the game was on.
***
“Triple suicide roundhouse murderous kick!” Storm was saying.
“If its suicidal, wouldn’t it kill you as well?” Goldenna said, as interested in the game as the two men playing it.
“It’s a homicidal roundhouse kick,” Wind replied, “Kamikaze Punch is an explosive attack that knocks out one’s own hit points.”
Ice and Leaf were curled up on the loveseat, Flame and Shadow were curled up on the couch, and Earth was somewhere in the Shadow Realm.
“I...I think we should unplug them.” Ice said sleepily.
“Me too.” Leaf said, “But to move would to mean leaving you, and you are warm now.”
“I’m warm?” Ice said, “Damn it!”
“No, no, I like you warm...” Leaf said, clinging to her tighter.
Ice sighed.
Shadow’s head was getting sore, but he just smiled and let Flame sleep.
***
Flame stood up and yawned. She shook her head and looked at Storm and Wind, curled up with controllers, fast asleep. She looked over at Leaf and Ice, sound asleep on the love seat. She laughed at Goldenna, who was using their Playstation as a pillow. Shadow was sound asleep beside her.
Flame stood up and yawned again, stretching
Ice snored a bit and yawned, waking up.
“Hey Ice...what is up with Wind and Storm?” Flame yawned, still latched to Shadow’s hair.
“Uh, some game...” Ice said.
“To you, they are all ‘some game’ unless they are Final Fantasy VII or X or X-2.” Flame sighed.
***
((Warning, in an attempt to meet a deadline, and not keep my friends from waiting for an update, I may use horrid humor/yaoi/and or anything to get the story kickstarted. I doubt this, but you have been warned! ((None of that stuff...horrid humor, Earth acting...strange and...er...you read, it’s not bad...PG13... ESH style.))
***
Deep inside the lair of the Evil Elementals, the group was still recovering.
Glaceria looked around, “Canyon...”
Canyon looked up from his potion boiling on the old wood stove. “Yes Glaceria?”
“How is Lava?” Glaceria handed the male a bottle of rats blood.
“Some cuts, a few bruises...she’ll be alright.” Canyon said, “After this potion...she’ll be back to fighting form.”
“Good, if that Ninja Nun hadn’t stood in for her...”
“With the help of my polyjuice potion of course...” Canyon reminded her.
“Of course Canyon...but as I was saying, if we hadn’t had the Ninja Nuns standing in for us...we might have all been killed.” Glaceria said.
Hurricane walked into the kitchen, sniffing the air. “What is that putrid smell?”
Glaceria smiled at Canyon, then looked towards Hurricane, “Hurricane, it’s a potion for Lava...”
Hurricane nodded, “She’s sound asleep finally... I think she got hurt when trying to quick change... letting the nun take her place...”
“I know... she got hit by a rouge fireball.” Glaceria said.
“Hey, hand me that mushroom powder and the mustard seeds?” Canyon said happily, “I’m almost done with the healing potion.”
“Well, kindly hurry up...” Twig said, walking into the room, “The stench is killing me.”
“Well, what do you think it will smell like? Roses?” Glaceria said as she handed the bottles to Canyon.
***
“Come on Lava...” Glaceria said.
“Ugh...no.” Lava pushed the potion away, “It smells like moldy ass...”
“Lava, if you want to be up to your full fighting strength, I suggest you drink it.” Wave said, “Even though it does smell like ass...”
Lava tipped the goblet and let the putrid liquid touch her lips. She smiled softly and took in the whole goblet before setting it down in Canyon’s hand.
“Thank you...” Lava spoke in her normal evil tone, “I feel better already.”
“Excellent...” A voice behind the evil elementals spoke.
“Dr. Cross!” Hurricane said, turning around.
“Yes... I know how we are going to put an end to those damned Elemental Super Heros once and for all...”
“Just as long as we don’t have to follow them to the grocery store anymore... I think they are catching on!” Smoke spoke.
“Yes... well, I know that Bud and Flood are on their honeymoon... and I also know that Bud is one of the Plant elemental...” Dr. Cross still spoke, but his face was in shadows, “I want Lava and Hurricane to go and kill Bud and his bride, Flood... think of it as my wedding present to them..”
Lava smiled, “Easily taken care of Boss...”
Glaceria asked, “Who’s getting married?”
Canyon sighed, “She’s a dunce.”
***
Shadow had brought Flame to the shadow realm for some ‘one on one’ time. He leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly.
Flame smiled and let her uniform fall around her ankles.
Shadow took in a sharp intake of air.
Flame wrapped her fingers around Shadow’s hair, causing the man to groan.
“Oh...Shadow...” Flame smiled as he lay her down on the soft ground.
“Oh Flame...” Shadow smiled, running his fingers along her collarbone.
“Oh brother!”
Flame and Shadow looked up from their spot.
Flame growled, “Earth...what are you doing here?”
Earth laughed, “Shadow put me in the Shadow realm about four hours ago.”
Shadow smiled at Earth, then leaned down and kissed Flame more passionately then before.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
***
Sometime the next morning Ice was serving biscuits and gravy.
Shadow, Flame, Ice, Leaf, Storm and Wind were all sitting around the kitchen table.
Storm and Wind were fighting over the coffee pot.
“Mine!”
“MINE!”
“MINE!”
“MINE!”
“MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!”
“MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”
Flame walked over and grabbed the coffee pot, “Mine boys...”
Both of them nodded, “Yes Flame.”
Ice piled a plate up with biscuits smothered in gravy and looked around, “Hey...where’s Earth?”I
Shadow shook his trench coat, and out fell Earth, wrapped up in himself in a fetal position, rocking himself why softly saying, “The horrors.... horrors...”
“What happened to Earth?” Ice said, leaning down to touch his hair.
“I have no clue...” Shadow said, innocently.
Ice leaned down and ruffled Earth’s hair, “Earth...I made your favorite breakfast. Come on and eat...”
Earth nodded slowly, “Y...yes...thank you Ice.”
Earth ate with no eye contact between himself and anyone else.
***
Later, in the kitchen, it was just Ice doing the dishes and Earth.
“Hey Earth...you are going to turn eighteen soon...aren’t you?” Ice asked as she ran the water for the dishes.
“Yes...” Earth scrapped the plates off into Blizzard’s bowl. The dog had grown to like the young man.
“So...your powers are going to come into their full potiental...” Ice smiled as she added the soap.
“Yes, I’m excited...I’ll finally be as strong as... you.” Earth had walked up behind Ice and had his head almost upon her shoulder.
Ice took in a deep breath as she felt Earth so close to her. “Earth...” Ice spoke softly.
“I know what I want for my birthday...” Earth whispered in Ice’s ear.
Ice swallowed hard, “A new dagger?”
Earth chuckled, “No...I want you...for my birthday.”
***
Lava and Hurricane walked up to room number Four...the honeymoon suite.
“Lava...are you sure we should be doing this?” Hurricane said.
“It’s simple... we leave this welcome package at their door... it has an bomb in it...it’ll blow them both up...” Lava said, setting the huge ‘fruit basket’ on the door, then knocked.
Both Hurricane and Lava ran off.
Bud opened the door, wearing a pair of boxers, “HE....llo?”
“Who’s there Bud?” Flood said from inside the room.
“Nobody is here...but someone left a gift package...” Bud bent down to pick it up.
“Bring it in and close the door...” Flood said.
Bud slammed the door.
Inside their car Lava and Hurricane looked at each other.
Lava pressed the red button to detonate the bomb.
***
“Who’s the basket from?” Flood asked.
“It...says its from...” Bud began.
The bomb clicked and suddenly the entire building was engulfed in a fireball.
Lava and Hurricane laughed evilly as they drove off, the sounds of fire engines in the background.
((Cliffie, I know, I know...but think of it this way... I’m already working on the next chapter!
Next chapter: Bud... is dead... Funeral... Leaf absorbs his brother’s soul...
Then...next chapter... Earth’s birthday...))