What We Didn't Do

A/N: Again, sorry about the lack of much updating, just very busy and/or illness!
So, here's the chapter. Don't forget to review at the end!


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For a moment I thought I'd gone back to numbness. Turns out it was just the drink my brother was pouring down my throat. Him and his stupid girlfriend had gotten me wasted.

I went to see Jeannie and Andy straight away. Didn't even blink. How could I? It was like having the electricity of a crash unit flow through my heart.

Shit that was far too sentimental for my liking. I was shocked. Not that it mattered. We weren't a couple, we weren't together. There wasn't anything to say that we shouldn't sleep with other people. Particularly if it was going to help us get over our own personal issues. So, technically, I shouldn't have cared so much.

But I loved him. That part wasn't something to gloss over.

So as I started to cry...again (I was definitely turning into a sap) Jeannie passed me the tequila and told me we were getting drunk. I was to stay with them for the night and then we'd eat brownies and syrup covered waffles in the morning. Sounded good, so I accepted.

Andy...my brother. Random little shit. One minute he can't stand the sight of you because of your "disgusting habits" the next thing he's drinking with you, telling you the other guy didn't deserve you and can you pass the salt? I mean, huh?

It was kinda nice, y'know? I mean totally creepy and weird but nice. I had two people beside me who in that instant gave a damn and wanted to help me out - and get me well and truly fucked. Alex had been like that. But I guess he felt like he didn't want to help anymore.

Ok, so there's the thing. Him fucking some guy from Florida was bad, but it was the walking away that gave me the real pain. He just left. Now I guess I knew how he'd felt before. Only this time, he meant it and I really wasn't going to see him again.

At some point I did actually pass out. When I woke, I was on a bed, surrounded by covers, my brother hovering over me with a bottle of water. He grinned.

"How you feeling, soldier?"

"Still drunk." I grinned and accepted the water. "You?"

"Even more drunk than you I think."

"Liar."

"Yeah, I'm as sober as...well I haven't had much to drink, anyway."

This gave me a little laugh. Andy then got a little serious on me.

"Rafe, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If...if I asked Jeannie to marry me...do you think she would?"

I thought about this for a minute. Jeannie and Andy ACTUALLY getting married? She'd been waiting God knows how long and I never thought he'd actually have the guts to propose. Seems I was wrong.

"Yeah, Andy. I do."

"Okay, man I'm not proposing to you!"

We laughed.

Andy studied me for a mi8nute and smiled, "Okay, tomorrow, I'll take her for one of those romantic walks and finish up back here with champagne and strawberries."

With that he stood and left me in the dark. My brother hadn't lost something - his inability to feel much. I took into calculation everything. He'd come in, checked if I was drunk then asked if his trophy girlfriend would marry him - he then heard what he wanted to hear and left.

Realisation flooded through me. Somethings change...other things don't.

**

Jeannie curled up around me that night. Apparently Andy did get drunk and fell asleep on the sofa. She rested her head against my shoulder and squeezed me tight. I gave her a quick kiss and we whispered the rest of the night about everything that had happened, from that night in the club to the flicker in his eyes as he left.

She told me that maybe I was wrong. He was a genuine guy and maybe he'd come back. I smiled at her sweet words and kissed her again.

"Oh Jeannie I wish you were right but I swear to God you aren't. Now is not the time to hope he comes back. Now is the time to start again. I've found a whole knew pile of shit about myself and my life that I have to deal with. I guess that's my focus now and it's what I need to look at. Then I can find someone to be with and settle down."

Even as I spoke I was only just beginning to understand what I needed. Recovery, rehab and a brand new beginning.

I couldn't stay where I was. There was just too much around me. With Jeannie in my arms, telling me that I was right and I should start again I made the decision to get over the past.

I was going to pack my bags as soon as I could, and leave.

**

Late the following night I was soaking myself and surrounded by bubbles. My hangover had been attacking me all day so a good rest in hot water seemed a great idea.

I left my brother's place halfway through the morning and he gave me a wink as I left. I tried to smile back but that heavy feeling just swept through me.

So, I was in the bath feeling light and fluffy when the door opened. The bathroom door, I might add.

Jeannie...again.

"For fuck - "

"Oh don't be like that, I've seen you naked before."

"So?"

She sat down beside the bath and flicked some of my bubbles at me. "Andy asked me to marry him."

I sighed. "I know. Congratulations."

"I said no."

At this point I stared at her. I mean, I know it was rude, but I couldn't help it. I had convinced myself that she would say yes and trap herself into a life with a man who -

"He doesn't love me Alex. Any fool can see that. Well, maybe he does, but not enough."

Is it wrong to have wanted to give a woop of joy? Yeah? Oh ok.

"I'm sorry, Jeannie."

She gave a short laugh. "Oh don't, you know your brother better than anyone in the world. You know how he feels."

"So is that it?" I asked, re-arranging bubbles.

"Yup, he's moving out in the week."

"No," I said suddenly.

"Huh?" She frowned at me.

"Don't get him to pack. You pack. Pack up and come live with me."

It was her turn to stare. "Okay, Rafe, your apartment isn't that big."

"I'm not going to live here anymore."

"Then where - "

"How does Italy sound?"

"In Europe?"

"No, on Mars. Yes in Europe. I've seen a place in the north, there's a villa there and I'm going to buy it with the money I saved up along with the money I'll get for this place." I sat up in the bath and covered her dry hands with my very wet ones. "I need to just get away but I don't think I can make it on my own. Come with me."

Yeah, it was crazy, insane, totally out of the blue and as I'd stared at the computer screen through blood-shot eyes I'd thought I was losing my mind. But it was what I had to do. Unearthly forces were pulling me toward it. It wasn't just Alex, but everything, right back to those teenage years when nothing I did was right. I had to go. And I wanted my brother's ex-girlfriend to come with me.

"'Kay," she whispered, a slow smile forming. "Sounds like a crazy adventure. I'm up for it."

I blinked rapidly and grinned. "Great, I have to show you this place, it's beautiful."

"Can you put clothes on first?"

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