Ghost of you
folder
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
8,346
Reviews:
104
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Original - Misc › -Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
19
Views:
8,346
Reviews:
104
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The Author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
Chapter 15.
Thank you for those who reviewed; Teeta, Mitts, scribbles05, jono, keke, midnighteyes and yblue *cookies and hugs to all*
And BIG thank you to my beta; Teeta. *chocolate for you*
****************************************************************************************
Ghost of you chapter 15
Everything good will be destroyed, all beauty dies in the hands of evil. World; how cruel and cold can you be? It is your screams that keep me awake, your pain that haunts me. I belong by your side; Why have you not asked for me?
There is no justice, not in this world.
Pain flickered in his body, there was a desperate sob that escaped from his lips. Opening his eyes, instant brightness, his head was throbbing, his throat felt sore.
“A-Aino.” He called weakly, his voice hoarse and not sounding like his own. She was instantly by his side, taking his hand, kissing his palm. Tears of hers falling on his skin and he tried to look at her.
“I’m so glad you’re awake, I was so worried.” Aino whispered. Olavi closed his eyes, opened them again. He groaned in pain, feeling it all over him, finally breaking down in desperate tears, it was too much, just too much.
“Hurts… it hurts…help me…” He whined with small voice, dizzy with the pain, wanting to end it and not knowing how. “Help me.” He begged, weary, not himself.
Aino felt helpless as she looked at his pain, as he tossed and turned on the bed crying, moaning, sweat glimmering on his forehead, asking for help, for release from it. It had been almost 24hours that he had spend in his unconscious state and all the time she had spend on his bedside praying for him to wake and now that he had…
She watched him in shock, tears falling down helplessly. She did not know how to help him.
**^^**^^**^^**
All I know is pain, the truth is too horrid and I beg your forgiveness brother. Had I known, had my heart known…How can I escape from these memories?
He trembled from cold, why was it so cold?
He could not breath, the man was choking him.
“All beauty must die…” Whisper, lustful lips on his tear soaked skin. “..But perhaps just one more taste…” And slowly the slippery and limp organ had began to harden again. One merciless thrust was all it took for the man to penetrate him fully. He hardly heard his own screaming anymore.
“He’s burning up…” Voices, where was he? Who was speaking? Hand on his forehead. He had to get away, had to breathe, had to tell them.
“Elias…”
“Shh.. calm down son, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Who was speaking? A man? There was a man; had to get away… “Shh…rest, you need to rest.” Couldn’t get away. Weak, cold, whispers, voices, worried, restless steps.
And I dream, I call for you, but you will not come, why won’t you come? I should not want you anymore, but I do…How can I stop my heart from crying out for you? For loving you even after the horrid truth? Even after what happened?
**^^**^^**^^**^^**
A week passed, then two. His fever eased, his physical strength slowly returning, but it had left him silent, like a ghost of himself. They all feared; would they ever get him back?
Aino stepped into the room, bringing some flowers in, placing the vase on the table.
“I brought these to lighten up your mood.” She spoke, “bluebells and daisy's; your favorite.” She smiled then and glanced at him.
Olavi was on the bed, in half sitting, half laying position, staring out into the sunshine, not acknowledging her arrival in any way. The bruises on his face and neck were fading fast, but his eyes still revealed the sad truth; the joy was gone, every feeling was hidden and he was silent.
“Would you like me to read something to you?” Aino asked and sat down, there was a brief look, but no reply. Swallowing some tears and forcing herself to smile, she took the book and began to read.
“Are you hungry?” She asked after half an hour of reading. Again she got no reply. “Olavi?” She asked. “I’ll bring you some tea.” She said then, holding the urge back to shake him, to scream at him to wake him up.
Smile to me brother, don’t you see how we miss you?
Alexander found her crying in the kitchen, she had spilled some tea on the table, a cup lay broken on the floor. He placed his hand on her shoulder and in the need of comfort; she sprung around to hug him. Surprised, he carefully hugged her back.
“Go to him, bring him back for I cannot.”
**^^**^^**^^**
I have missed you, can you not feel it? Do you think I’m going to let you drown? I cannot, I love you far too much.
Alexander stepped in, closed the door after him softly. He looked at the boy, wanting to reach out and touch him.
Do you know how much I feared for you?
He walked closer, took out a chair and sat down. Olavi turned his eyes on him, but quickly turned them away.
“You have to keep on living.” Alexander whispered after long moment of silence. “We all miss you, speak to us.” He could see him starting to tremble, tears forming in his eyes, at least it was a reaction, at least it meant that he heard him. “I’ve missed you.” He reached out to take his hand in his. “I love you.” Olavi tensed, looked at him, drawing his hand quickly away, tears falling down.
“Do not tell me such lies.” He hissed.
“Lies? They are not lies sweetheart.” Olavi gulped, looking down at his hands; clenching into fists.
“And do not call me with such sweet names either.” His voice broke.
“Olavi?” Teary blue eyes met his.
“I know,” He said. “I know about Elias and you…I know what you did to him.” Alexander looked at him with surprise. “I’m surely going to hell, I’ve let you…The rapist of my brother; I’ve allowed his touches on my body and I’ve even begged for them!” He cried more openly now. “I deserved what happened, I should be dead… but even after everything… my cursed heart still loves you! Why did you do this to me?”
” I wish I would have told you before he fed you lies, I wish…” Olavi looked at him trembling. “Elias was the one I told you about. I loved him, I never raped him.”
“And I was only his replacement! A mere ghost of him to you?! He was my brother! Why did you do this? Why did you have to make me fall in love with you?!” He screamed.
“You were never his replacement, I have loved you for you, not as his ghost.”
“When you firs saw me, did you not see him in my place? I do not need your lies… Go… Just please go!”
How could I leave you like this? How could I leave you with these thoughts, You have my heart, you healed it, and now it longs to be by your side. Do not turn me away.
“I love you Olavi.” Alexander whispered and the boy cried.
Do not feed me lies, I want to believe, but how can I? We’re both on our way to hell most surely if I let you stay, most surely if I give in to my poor heart.
“Go! Leave! I do not want you here!”
You were his first before me, did I ever really have you?
“Leave now!”
Slowly you rise, helplessness on your face and I want to reach out, but I cannot get rid of the whispers and I cannot be anyone's ghost. Leave, my love, let me lick my wounds in peace, please leave my heart forever…And as you go, I let myself fall.
There is no justice in this world.
Alexander walked away from the room, his heart heavy, he went outside and walked towards the river and sat down beside a three, the tree, their tree. He cursed Vladimir in his mind, the man that now lay somewhere in the forest, under the heavy ground, the man that had destroyed so much.
How can I let you go?
He lighted a cigarette, stayed out until the darkness fell. The night was chilly, after smoking one, he lighted another, watching as the smoke danced with the wind.
How can I bring you back? Should I let you go? Should I leave? Do you really want me to?
He closed his eyes, listening to the water, how calming the soft gleaming sound was. A sound woke him. The light of the moon revealing the angelic sight to him. The boy walked in the water bare feet, holding his shoes in his hands. Looking at him, smiling softly. Alexander hardly dared to breath.
“Elias…” The boy smiled still, walking closer, letting his shoes drop from his hands on to the soft sand, but he stayed in the water, walking along the shore line, never taking his eyes away from him.
“Is it really you?” He asked, watching him.
“Did you miss me?” The boy’s soft voice asked as he knelt down to touch the water with his hands, playing with it.
“Yes.“
“He needs you, Sascha.” He said then and smiled at his wonder. “Do not let him push you away, he needs you, he hesitates, but you cannot leave him. Don’t leave him, not now.”
“How did you…?”
“The sky is so clear, the water… so cold…He feels cold, it’s warm where I am, he longs for it, do not let him… Your warmth is better Sascha,”
“I don’t understand?”
”He needs you, there’s still time. He needs you Sascha.”
With a startle Alexander woke, looking at the lake; he was gone. A dream, another dream, but again it had felt so real.
“The sky is so clear, the water… so cold…He feels cold, it’s warm where I am, he longs for it, do not let him… Your warmth is better Sascha,” Were they truth or dream? What did they mean?
TBC.
And BIG thank you to my beta; Teeta. *chocolate for you*
****************************************************************************************
Ghost of you chapter 15
Everything good will be destroyed, all beauty dies in the hands of evil. World; how cruel and cold can you be? It is your screams that keep me awake, your pain that haunts me. I belong by your side; Why have you not asked for me?
There is no justice, not in this world.
Pain flickered in his body, there was a desperate sob that escaped from his lips. Opening his eyes, instant brightness, his head was throbbing, his throat felt sore.
“A-Aino.” He called weakly, his voice hoarse and not sounding like his own. She was instantly by his side, taking his hand, kissing his palm. Tears of hers falling on his skin and he tried to look at her.
“I’m so glad you’re awake, I was so worried.” Aino whispered. Olavi closed his eyes, opened them again. He groaned in pain, feeling it all over him, finally breaking down in desperate tears, it was too much, just too much.
“Hurts… it hurts…help me…” He whined with small voice, dizzy with the pain, wanting to end it and not knowing how. “Help me.” He begged, weary, not himself.
Aino felt helpless as she looked at his pain, as he tossed and turned on the bed crying, moaning, sweat glimmering on his forehead, asking for help, for release from it. It had been almost 24hours that he had spend in his unconscious state and all the time she had spend on his bedside praying for him to wake and now that he had…
She watched him in shock, tears falling down helplessly. She did not know how to help him.
**^^**^^**^^**
All I know is pain, the truth is too horrid and I beg your forgiveness brother. Had I known, had my heart known…How can I escape from these memories?
He trembled from cold, why was it so cold?
He could not breath, the man was choking him.
“All beauty must die…” Whisper, lustful lips on his tear soaked skin. “..But perhaps just one more taste…” And slowly the slippery and limp organ had began to harden again. One merciless thrust was all it took for the man to penetrate him fully. He hardly heard his own screaming anymore.
“He’s burning up…” Voices, where was he? Who was speaking? Hand on his forehead. He had to get away, had to breathe, had to tell them.
“Elias…”
“Shh.. calm down son, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Who was speaking? A man? There was a man; had to get away… “Shh…rest, you need to rest.” Couldn’t get away. Weak, cold, whispers, voices, worried, restless steps.
And I dream, I call for you, but you will not come, why won’t you come? I should not want you anymore, but I do…How can I stop my heart from crying out for you? For loving you even after the horrid truth? Even after what happened?
**^^**^^**^^**^^**
A week passed, then two. His fever eased, his physical strength slowly returning, but it had left him silent, like a ghost of himself. They all feared; would they ever get him back?
Aino stepped into the room, bringing some flowers in, placing the vase on the table.
“I brought these to lighten up your mood.” She spoke, “bluebells and daisy's; your favorite.” She smiled then and glanced at him.
Olavi was on the bed, in half sitting, half laying position, staring out into the sunshine, not acknowledging her arrival in any way. The bruises on his face and neck were fading fast, but his eyes still revealed the sad truth; the joy was gone, every feeling was hidden and he was silent.
“Would you like me to read something to you?” Aino asked and sat down, there was a brief look, but no reply. Swallowing some tears and forcing herself to smile, she took the book and began to read.
“Are you hungry?” She asked after half an hour of reading. Again she got no reply. “Olavi?” She asked. “I’ll bring you some tea.” She said then, holding the urge back to shake him, to scream at him to wake him up.
Smile to me brother, don’t you see how we miss you?
Alexander found her crying in the kitchen, she had spilled some tea on the table, a cup lay broken on the floor. He placed his hand on her shoulder and in the need of comfort; she sprung around to hug him. Surprised, he carefully hugged her back.
“Go to him, bring him back for I cannot.”
**^^**^^**^^**
I have missed you, can you not feel it? Do you think I’m going to let you drown? I cannot, I love you far too much.
Alexander stepped in, closed the door after him softly. He looked at the boy, wanting to reach out and touch him.
Do you know how much I feared for you?
He walked closer, took out a chair and sat down. Olavi turned his eyes on him, but quickly turned them away.
“You have to keep on living.” Alexander whispered after long moment of silence. “We all miss you, speak to us.” He could see him starting to tremble, tears forming in his eyes, at least it was a reaction, at least it meant that he heard him. “I’ve missed you.” He reached out to take his hand in his. “I love you.” Olavi tensed, looked at him, drawing his hand quickly away, tears falling down.
“Do not tell me such lies.” He hissed.
“Lies? They are not lies sweetheart.” Olavi gulped, looking down at his hands; clenching into fists.
“And do not call me with such sweet names either.” His voice broke.
“Olavi?” Teary blue eyes met his.
“I know,” He said. “I know about Elias and you…I know what you did to him.” Alexander looked at him with surprise. “I’m surely going to hell, I’ve let you…The rapist of my brother; I’ve allowed his touches on my body and I’ve even begged for them!” He cried more openly now. “I deserved what happened, I should be dead… but even after everything… my cursed heart still loves you! Why did you do this to me?”
” I wish I would have told you before he fed you lies, I wish…” Olavi looked at him trembling. “Elias was the one I told you about. I loved him, I never raped him.”
“And I was only his replacement! A mere ghost of him to you?! He was my brother! Why did you do this? Why did you have to make me fall in love with you?!” He screamed.
“You were never his replacement, I have loved you for you, not as his ghost.”
“When you firs saw me, did you not see him in my place? I do not need your lies… Go… Just please go!”
How could I leave you like this? How could I leave you with these thoughts, You have my heart, you healed it, and now it longs to be by your side. Do not turn me away.
“I love you Olavi.” Alexander whispered and the boy cried.
Do not feed me lies, I want to believe, but how can I? We’re both on our way to hell most surely if I let you stay, most surely if I give in to my poor heart.
“Go! Leave! I do not want you here!”
You were his first before me, did I ever really have you?
“Leave now!”
Slowly you rise, helplessness on your face and I want to reach out, but I cannot get rid of the whispers and I cannot be anyone's ghost. Leave, my love, let me lick my wounds in peace, please leave my heart forever…And as you go, I let myself fall.
There is no justice in this world.
Alexander walked away from the room, his heart heavy, he went outside and walked towards the river and sat down beside a three, the tree, their tree. He cursed Vladimir in his mind, the man that now lay somewhere in the forest, under the heavy ground, the man that had destroyed so much.
How can I let you go?
He lighted a cigarette, stayed out until the darkness fell. The night was chilly, after smoking one, he lighted another, watching as the smoke danced with the wind.
How can I bring you back? Should I let you go? Should I leave? Do you really want me to?
He closed his eyes, listening to the water, how calming the soft gleaming sound was. A sound woke him. The light of the moon revealing the angelic sight to him. The boy walked in the water bare feet, holding his shoes in his hands. Looking at him, smiling softly. Alexander hardly dared to breath.
“Elias…” The boy smiled still, walking closer, letting his shoes drop from his hands on to the soft sand, but he stayed in the water, walking along the shore line, never taking his eyes away from him.
“Is it really you?” He asked, watching him.
“Did you miss me?” The boy’s soft voice asked as he knelt down to touch the water with his hands, playing with it.
“Yes.“
“He needs you, Sascha.” He said then and smiled at his wonder. “Do not let him push you away, he needs you, he hesitates, but you cannot leave him. Don’t leave him, not now.”
“How did you…?”
“The sky is so clear, the water… so cold…He feels cold, it’s warm where I am, he longs for it, do not let him… Your warmth is better Sascha,”
“I don’t understand?”
”He needs you, there’s still time. He needs you Sascha.”
With a startle Alexander woke, looking at the lake; he was gone. A dream, another dream, but again it had felt so real.
“The sky is so clear, the water… so cold…He feels cold, it’s warm where I am, he longs for it, do not let him… Your warmth is better Sascha,” Were they truth or dream? What did they mean?
TBC.