Even Angels Fall

Lianna blinked against the intrusive light coming through the unfamiliar window and tried to comprehend the fuzzy figures before her. “Mom?” she asked weakly, completely confused. “What are you doing here? Am I in California, or are you in New York?”

Suddenly, Lianna heard the whole room erupt, with an indefinable number of people breaking into gentle laughter, although her vision was too bleary to see anyone besides her mother before her. Blinking a few more times in attempt to clear her vision, she coughed once and was immediately rewarded with some water. “Wait… what’s going on? Where’s Joseph?”

“I’m right here,” Joseph’s voice rang out to Lianna from across the room, and she saw his blurry image emerge from behind her mother. He took a seat beside her on the bed and reached for her hand, enlacing his fingers with hers in a loving manner. “How are you feeling, Lee?” he asked, his face pale and drawn, his eyes red and puffy. Still, it was the most beautiful face Lianna had ever seen.

“I have no idea,” Lianna whispered honestly, her throat still scratchy. She jumped a little when she heard more laughter coming from around the room. “Joseph, what’s going on?” she asked, sounding a little cranky – which was more than to be expected. “Why is my mom here?”

Studying Lianna’s confused expression, Joseph felt his eyes fill with tears as he smiled at her, overjoyed at her progression, despite her bad temper. “You were sick,” he explained to Lianna gently, knowing the medications she was on were affecting her memory. “You delivered Aiden, and you had an infection, but you’re doing much better now. And everyone came to see you – your family, my family, all our friends…”

“Aiden,” Lianna repeated suddenly, her mind a blur. “Is he… is he okay?”

“He’s fine,” a voice came from the other side of Lianna. “He’s right here.” The voice was familiar, but the haze in Lianna’s head was making it hard for her to place it. Looking over, though, her eyes filled with tears as she looked upon her baby sister standing there. Without another word, Lianna just stared at Aiden in Kirsten’s arms.

Turning her head towards Joseph again, Lianna’s voice was now cracking from both the physical stress her body had been through in the last twelve hours, and the emotion she got from seeing Aiden for the first time. “Am I too sick?” she asked softly, her eyes begging Joseph to tell her that she wasn’t. “Can I… can I hold him?”

Biting his bottom lip to stop himself from crying again, Joseph looked into Lianna’s hopeful blue eyes and smiled at the only woman he had ever truly loved. “You can hold him,” he told her softly, standing back up and reaching over the bed towards Kirsten. Taking Aiden carefully from Lianna’s sister, he smiled down at the baby’s mother. “Kirsten, help Lianna up a little, will you?”

It took a little energy, but Lianna was quickly seated in a more upright position. “Lianna,” Joseph said softly, his eyes brimming with tears of happiness and pride. “I want you to meet our son, Aiden Hart.”

Taking the tiny bundle into her arms gently, Lianna’s own eyes filled with tears. Aiden was so tiny, all wrapped up in a blue blanket, and he looked so much like Joseph to her. She stared at him as his eyes lazily opened to look at her, curious and tired at the same time. “Hello, Aiden,” she said softly. “I’m your mommy.”

“Yes, you are,” Joseph confirmed blissfully, carefully taking a seat beside Lianna again and grasping one of Aiden’s small hands in his palm as he slid his arm around Lianna’s shoulders. “You’re his mommy. And I’m his daddy. And as soon as you are well enough, you’re going to be my wife. And I won’t take no for an answer this time, you understand, Lianna?”

Looking at her son for another moment, Lianna finally glanced up and met Joseph’s bright green eyes with her own tear-filled gaze. “Nothing would make me happier,” she told Joseph in a sincere voice. “Nothing…”

“And I think that’s our cue,” Sin’s voice came from across the room. Looking up, Lianna tried to make out the other figures in the room, and slowly, her family, Joseph’s family, and their closest friends came into blurry view. “Besides,” Sin continued. “The nurse is bound to come in here any second now and kick all our asses- kick us all out.”

A chuckle fell through the crowd as Sin tried to catch her words a moment too late. “Thank you all,” Lianna watched Joseph turn his head to address the group. “This has been such a rough time, but you have all been so great.” Turning back to Lianna, he grinned widely. “But I think Lianna and Aiden and I could all use a little alone time.”

Without needing further urging, everyone streamed out of the room fairly quickly, just sending love and words of encouragement to the family on the bed as they went. Finally, only the three were left. “I’m sorry I scared you,” Lianna told Joseph softly as she looked down at Aiden in her arms. Glancing up, she met Joseph’s eyes. “I can’t even really remember what happened, but-”

“BUT,” Joseph cut Lianna off quickly. “You are going to be fine. And Aiden is healthy. And I don’t care how many drugs you were on just now, Lee. I have a room full of people that witnessed you saying you would marry me once you’re strong enough to get out of this bed.”

Tears filling her eyes again as she listened to the excitement in his voice, Lianna smiled gently up at Joseph and then looked down into her arms again. She said nothing for a moment, and then raised her own blue eyes once more, finally clear and honest. “I couldn’t think of anything that could make me happier,” she told Joseph, tilting her head so he could kiss her softly on the lips before he leaned down to kiss their now blissfully-sleeping son on the forehead.

“Me either,” Joseph told Lianna, without the slightest trace of doubt in his voice. Looking down at his tattooed arms, one fitting around Lianna’s shoulder, and the other reaching gently for Aiden’s hand, he grinned widely. “I don’t think I could possibly be happier than I am right this minute.”

-----

The group of New Yorkers got the family members into cabs fairly quickly, knowing they had been flying all night and could probably use some rest. After that, some other people left – Ava and her boyfriend, a couple of Lianna’s coworkers, the other two members of Broken Dynamite that had finally been called after Lianna’s condition had stabilized. Now, only the few that had been there for the first few excruciating hours were left.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys,” Tavian let out a big yawn as he slid his arm around Madison’s shoulders and squeezed tightly. “But I think I’m going to go home and sleep for, like, a month.”

“That sounds perfect to me,” Madison settled into her fiancé’s embrace, a tired but contented look on her beautiful face.

Zip watched the couple as they cuddled, and averted his eyes to offer them a moment of privacy. Unfortunately, that just meant his gaze fell instead upon Eddie exactly at the moment his arm snaked around Sin’s waist. “What do you think?” Eddie asked Sin gently. “Do you think you could sleep after the forty-seven cups of coffee and fifteen colas you had today?”

“Fuck yeah,” Sin replied immediately, and then blushed as she noticed a nurse walking by giving her a dirty look. While Sin didn’t normally care what outsiders thought of her, a situation like a hospital waiting room was one of the rare exceptions. To avoid feeling any more embarrassed, she turned her attention away from herself. “Zip,” she said pointedly, making sure to meet the handsome man’s eyes. “Could you make sure Sarah gets home safely?”

“It’s the middle of the day-” Zip started to grumble, but immediately stopped when he saw the angry glare from Sin. No matter the discomfort he would feel being left alone with Sarah, he was sure it was nothing compared to the pain Sin would show him if he didn’t abide by her wishes at that moment. “But, I mean… yeah. Of course.”

If Eddie thought anything was amiss, he didn’t show it. More likely, though, he was just too exhausted to notice. “Thanks,” he told Zip, obviously unaware of the other man’s uncomfortable grunt in response. “And I’ll call you later, okay?” he turned his attention to his sister, whose uneasiness he was equally unaware of.

Nodding in response to her brother’s question, Sarah looked over at Eddie and forced herself to give him a small smile, although it was extremely difficult after hearing Zip try to find a way out of spending even a minute more with her. Moving her eyes over, she met Sin’s gaze and was sure – if just for a moment – she saw a look of compassion. “Bye, guys,” she said softly.

Everyone walked to the street together, and once again, one by one, as had occurred just twelve hours earlier, cabs quickly arrived. And once again, Zip and Sarah were the only two left. Both staring at the ground, Zip had no idea what to say. He hadn’t even allowed himself to really think about what Sarah had said the night before until just then, and once again, her words stung.

“If I try to apologize now,” Sarah ventured to ask despite the way her heart was clenching in her chest. She looked up to see that Zip still wasn’t meeting her eyes. “Are you going to bite my head off again?”

“No,” Zip told softly as he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it, still not looking into Sarah’s big brown eyes for fear that he would lose control of his emotions if he gave himself any opportunity to do so. “But there’s nothing for you to apologize for, Sarah.”

The tone of Zip’s voice told far more to Sarah than his words did. “So this is it?” she said, her voice betraying the hurt she was feeling. “I fuck up once – say one stupid thing in the middle of a highly emotional time – and you bail? Like I didn’t forgive you for being a jerk to me before?”

“It’s not about forgiveness,” Zip said lamely. “I guess, after last night and having Sin find out like that and just having so many problems associated with this thing between us… I guess I just realized that you and I… I mean, some people are meant to be together, like Lianna and Joseph. But you and me-”

“You don’t have to finish,” Sarah cut Zip off harshly, her voice emotional enough to force him to meet her gaze and see all the hurt in her gold-flecked eyes. It was this mixture of determination and hidden fear that had originally attracted him to her, he realized suddenly, but had no time to dwell on this as she pushed on. “I get it. You were fine when things were easy – when it was you and me and pizza and sex. But as soon as it gets complicated-”

“That’s not it,” Zip tried to deny Sarah’s words, but faltered. He wasn’t sure he could explain himself, even though he wished that he could. It was just a feeling he had deep inside that told him things between him and Sarah just weren’t meant to be… “I never meant to hurt you, Sarah.”

“Well, you fucked up then,” Sarah replied immediately with anger, tears streaming shamelessly down her face. “But you were right about one thing, Zip – one thing since I’ve met you. You are NOT the type of guy I should have had my first time with. Unfortunately, it’s too late for me to change that now.” Turning on her heel, Sarah started speeding down the sidewalk without another word. Feeling helpless, Zip just watched her as her figure retreated, growing smaller and finally blending in with the rest of the busy Manhattan pedestrian populace.

------

Sarah was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, her hands resting on her stomach lightly. She wasn’t sure how long she had been there like that, but it was at least a few hours. Even though she hadn’t slept since receiving the call from Eddie the night before, she couldn’t fall asleep. At first, it was because she had been so angry. Then it was because she was crying. Now, she felt completely drained, alone and empty.

A knock at the door took Sarah by surprise, and she sat up, knowing who she hoped it was. Yes, things had not been easy so far between her and Zip; yes, there were issues they had to deal with; and yes, they had both acted like immature idiots several times in the short time they had been together. Still, Sarah had never felt so strongly for someone in her entire life. Curling up naked beside Zip in his bed was the most comfortable she had ever felt.

Running her hands through her hair to try to tame it a little, Sarah crossed the room and opened the door. However, Zip was not on the other side.

“Sin,” Sarah’s eyes grew wide as she looked at her brother’s girlfriend. She felt her stomach tumble in nervousness. “What are you doing here?”

Looking warily at Sarah, Sin glanced past her into the apartment. “Are you… alone?” she asked, obviously uncomfortable with the question.

Biting her lip, Sarah nodded. “Come in,” she moved aside and motioned towards Sin. So now, not only had Zip broken things off with her, but she was also going to have to deal with the guilt and discomfort of explaining everything to Sin anyway.

Sarah watched as Sin took a seat on the couch, and was unsure what she should say. “Do you want something to-”

“Why have you been lying to Eddie and me?” Sin cut Sarah off, getting right to the point. “I mean, I’m not an asshole; I know it would have been a little uncomfortable to bring up the fact that you and Zip are…” Sin paused and made a face. “What is it, Sarah? This thing between you two - is it a relationship, or just sex, or what? Wait, forget that. THAT part’s none of my fucking business. But why have you been lying?”

Her eyes filling with tears, Sarah shrugged. “I… I don’t know…”

“You’re an adult, Sarah,” Sin’s voice was hard and unflinching, showing no sign of pity at the sight of Sarah’s glassy eyes. “I know you’ve been coddled all your life, but at some point you’re going to have to grow up and take responsibility for your actions.”

“I know,” Sarah said in a soft voice as she willed her body not to release the tears in her eyes. Taking a seat on the coffee table, she looked down at her hands. Sin was definitely a no-nonsense type of person, and Sarah didn’t want to annoy her any further by crying. “I guess I was afraid that you guys would freak out.”

“Why did you think that?” Sin asked, wanting Sarah to explain it to her in her own words. “Why did you think Eddie and I would freak out?”

“Because…” Sarah’s voice began to fade, but she looked up and saw that there was no way Sin was going to accept THAT as an answer. “Because of Zip’s history with women – especially you. And because Eddie still sees me as his baby sister.”

“Maybe because you act like a baby,” Sin said, although her words were harsher than her tone of voice. “Sarah, Zip does have an oh-and-thousand record with women, but you’re old enough to make that decision on your own. And as for my history with him… it’s just that: history. I’m with Eddie now, and I’ve never been happier.”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter now,” Sarah told Sin, her voice cracking from holding back so much emotion. “He doesn’t want to see me anymore anyway.”

“So it was more than just sex,” Sin said, more to herself than to Sarah. “How long has it been going on?”

“We’ve been hanging out for a little over a month,” Sarah admitted, cringing a little when she saw a cloud of annoyance pass over Sin’s face. “But we’ve only been… more than friends… for less than a week.” Suddenly, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “But… but he doesn’t…”

Reaching over, Sin patted Sarah’s knee. “So what happened?” she asked, her voice far more gentle than it usually was, showing a sensitive side of Sin that generally only Eddie got to see. “Between you two. Why doesn’t he want to see you anymore?”

“Because he’s a dick,” Sarah said angrily, her hurt filling her body again.

“Bullshit,” Sin said quickly, the severity of her reaction making Sarah jump a little and look up at her with curiosity and mild insult. “Sorry, Sarah, but I know Zip. If you told me he fucked you and then ditched you, I’d believe that was just him being a dick. But if he spent over a month hanging out with you, it meant more to him than what he usually feels. So try to tell me the truth about what happened – I’m going to guess it’s more like both your faults.”

Shrugging, Sarah felt ashamed. She had been acting self-pitying, as if she was the innocent bystander in everything that had happened with Zip. Slowly, she began to tell Sin everything. She told her how they met initially at the club, and about spending time together, and about their first kiss and the aftermath of that. She explained how they were both nervous about telling Sin and Eddie, and how they were constantly being immature and annoyed with one another. Then she told Sin about what she had said to Zip early that morning, and then what he had told her that afternoon.

“He’s hurt,” Sin told Sarah, nodding her head to emphasize her point. “He cares, and he’s scared of that because he doesn’t know how to be a boyfriend. He has never REALLY been a boyfriend. And you hurt him, so he is afraid to let you back in. Or, he’s a dick.”

Smiling just a little, Sarah shrugged. “I’m scared, too,” she said softly. “I’m scared I won’t be enough for him. I’m scared that he’s going to get bored of me. I’m scared that I’m going to just start feeling more and more for him, and then… he’ll be gone. But I guess I can stop worrying about that, huh? I mean, I guess he’s already gone.”

Looking at Sarah sympathetically, Sin leaned back into the couch and sighed. “I honestly don’t know what to tell you,” she sounded like she felt bad for having to tell Sarah that fact. “I mean, Zip is… one fucked up guy. He really doesn’t let people in very much. But I guess I’m one to talk, huh?” Sin smirked. “But… well, you can try to talk to him, but I honestly don’t know how he’s going to react. He puts up a wall around himself…”

“I know,” Sarah said softly, looking down at her hands again. “I just thought… I felt like we had gotten so close. He was so sweet, and he cooked for me, and he called me at work to say he missed me, and he told me his name-”

“Hold on,” Sin told Sarah, her gray eyes wide. “Wait, he told you his real name?”

Biting her lip, Sarah nodded and her eyes filled with tears that quickly fell over her lower lashes. She had suddenly pictured the moment he had told her, less than a week ago, during their first time together. She couldn’t believe that a few days were all she would get with him…

“He’s in love,” Sin said suddenly, snapping Sarah out of her thoughts. “Holy shit. Zip Kopti is really in love, or at least is falling in love.” She was definitely talking to herself now, a look of shock on her face. Glancing over at Sarah, Sin tilted her head. “He loves you, Sarah. That’s why he’s so afraid.”

“No,” Sarah shook her head in denial of Sin’s claim. “He wouldn’t push me away if he loved me.”

“Yes, he would. He totally would,” Sin insisted. “God, Sarah. Joseph and I have tried to get Zip’s real name from him for years, and it didn’t matter how drunk or high he was, he would never tell either of us. He gave you something that was so personal to him, Sarah. And now he’s probably out of his mind with fear.”

“So…” Sarah’s eyes began to shine with hope. “You think this could work, this thing between me and Zip? Do you think we could work out our differences?”

Not wanting to lie, Sin shrugged. “I honestly don’t know,” she told Sarah, hating to see the girl’s face fall at her words. “I mean, I do think Zip’s in love with you, from what you’ve told me. But he’s not actually very emotionally mature. He’s essentially an emotional infant. So even if he loves you, he might deny it even to himself, or if he doesn’t deny it, he might convince himself that he doesn’t want it, anyway.”

“But that doesn’t make sense,” Sarah heard a whiny tinge to her voice and cringed at the sound, not wanting to seem like a spoiled brat again. “I mean, if he does care about me… wouldn’t he want to be with me?”

“One would think,” Sin compassionately told Sarah. “But Zip isn’t a normal human being. In any way, shape or form. I’m sure you’ve figured that out. Still, you should at least try to talk to him again, if you want to be with him. I can’t guarantee anything, but if you care about him, it’s worth a shot.”

Thinking about what Sin had said, Sarah nodded. “You’re right,” she said, a small smile spreading over her face. “I have to try. God, thanks, Sin. And I am so sorry that we lied to you, really I am. I created this whole freak-out that I thought you would have, and I was totally wrong.”

“Well, you still haven’t told your brother,” Sin reminded Sarah, and chuckled when she saw nervousness in Sarah’s eyes. “Yes, he might freak out. Sometimes I assume he still thinks you’re fourteen. Plus, he’s also likely to be pissed off that you lied. I know that’s what pissed me off the most.”

Fully chastised, Sarah’s gaze fell to the floor. “I am sorry,” she repeated, the sincerity obvious in her voice. “I was totally wrong to lie. It was immature and selfish.”

“Yep,” Sin said, not sounding bothered anymore. “But you’ll learn. Everyone makes mistakes, Sarah. But learning to deal with the consequences is a huge part of growing up. Make sense?”

Nodding, Sarah met Sin’s eyes again. “Is it okay if I put off telling Eddie until after I’ve talked to Zip?”

“Sure,” Sin told her, rising from the couch. “You might as well know WHAT you have to tell him before you tell him.”

Following Sin to the door, Sarah leaned over and gave her a hug. “I’m so glad you and Eddie found each other,” she told Sin honestly. “Not only are you and my brother both happy, but it’s like I get an automatic big sister, too. A scary, threatening big sister…”

Laughing, Sin shook her head. “I am not that scary,” she denied. “Anyway, you’re going to have a lot of stuff to deal with over the next few years, and I will be more than happy to help when I can. Sound good?”

“Sounds great,” Sarah grinned. “And wish me luck with Zip…”

“I would,” Sin smirked at Sarah. “But I don’t know what would be better luck for you – being with him, or not being with him.” With that, she waved and turned to walk down the hallway towards the stairwell.

Closing the door, Sarah leaned back against it. ‘Sin thinks Zip loves me,’ she marveled, shaking her head. ‘I knew that I was starting to fall for him, but I didn’t even think that he…’ It was all too much, though, and Sarah shook her head again to clear the thoughts. The fact was, Sin was right. There was no way to gauge what Zip would decide to do.

But there was only one way to find out…

-----

LIANNA’S GOING TO BE OKAY, AND NOW WE’RE FOCUSING BACK ON SARAH AND ZIP. EVERYONE HAPPY?

TEMPLETON21 – YOUR WISH IS GRANTED.

PIKACHEESE – I HOPE I CAN BALANCE THIS, TOO. I’VE BEEN TOLD BEFORE THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM LOSING FOCUS. SORRY.

ASH – I’M GLAD THAT IS HOW YOU SEE SARAH. IT’S WHAT I ACTUALLY INTENDED, BUT I GUESS I LET HER GET A LITTLE TOO BRATTY FOR SOME PEOPLE.

KIRSCHE – THAT’S ACTUALLY HOW IT FEELS FOR ME WHEN I WRITE. I FEEL LIKE THE CHARACTERS ARE LIVING OUT THESE STORIES IN MY HEAD, AND I’M SIMPLY WRITING DOWN WHAT’S HAPPENING. IT’S LIKE I DON’T GET TO DECIDE WHAT’S GOING TO OCCUR.

TRINITY – I DO PUT TRAGEDY IN SOME OF MY STORIES, BUT LIANNA WASN’T MEANT TO DIE. I JUST WANTED IT TO BE CLEAR HOW MUCH EVERYONE CARES ABOUT EACH OTHER, ESPECIALLY IN THEIR TIMES OF MOST NEED.

THANKS ALSO TO EGGMAN, ROSEMARY, ARAINAINA, SOUTHERN, IOTC247, ROSIE, MIZTIKAL_DRAGON, NABI, CARIAD, AND ADAEE FOR REVIEWING.