Original Sin

It was getting unbearable for Eddie. While he was glad that Sin was having a good time with Allie, he couldn’t help getting annoyed with the way Dina was acting. She was closed off, barely talking, and she never stopped staring at Sin and Eddie with an angry glare. ‘What is up with that girl?’ Eddie asked himself with annoyance.

“Remember when you got suspended for kicking that football player in the balls?” Allie was laughing as she and Sin reminisced about high school.

“Oh yeah,” Sin chuckled at the memory. “I can’t believe they suspended me for a week for that.”

“Well,” Allie gave Sin a wry smile. “In all fairness, you did have him off the field for nearly a month. Wasn’t there a testicle retrieval operation involved?”

Rolling her eyes, Sin nodded. “It’s not my fault he had weak balls.” Looking over at Eddie, Sin smiled. “Are you ready for another?” she asked, motioning towards his near-empty beer. “I’ll go get another round for everyone.”

“I’ll come with you and help,” Allie stood up.

Eddie watched helplessly as the two women walked away from the table and over towards the crowded bar. This was not what he wanted – to be stuck for several minutes sitting with a girl that seemed to hate him for no apparent reason. “So,” he finally turned his eyes on Dina. “What do you do?”

“I’m in film school,” Dina said, not looking at him. Her eyes were glued to where Allie and Sin stood at the bar, chatting and laughing.

Biting back a groan, Eddie pushed on. “So what do you want to do?” he asked Dina. “Direct, produce, edit?”

Finally turning her gaze on Eddie, Dina shook her head at him. “You don’t have to do this,” she said coldly. “Just because they left us here alone together doesn’t mean you have to act like you’re interested in my life. Believe me, I’m not going to feign interest in your life in return, so you might as well just drop it.”

Running his hands through his hair in frustration, Eddie leaned forward. “Did I do something to piss you off?” he asked Dina. “I mean, I don’t get why you seem to hate me so much. Did I do something or say something inadvertently to insult you? Because if I did, I’m sorry, but I wish you would tell me what it was.”

Dina let out an audible sigh of impatience and rolled her eyes. “It’s not you I don’t like,” she told him. “Really, I don’t know anything about you.” With that, her eyes turned back towards the bar where Allie and Sin stood.

Following Dina’s gaze, Eddie tried to figure out what the girl was saying. “If you don’t dislike me,” he looked at her with confusion. “Then why have you been acting like this all night? Why have you been so silent and moody?”

“It doesn’t bother you?” Dina asked Eddie incredulously. “The way they’re BEING together?” She tilted her head, motioning to the bar again.

“Why should it?” Eddie was now completely lost. “They’re just having a good time, remembering their past. They never get to see each other-”

“What I meant,” Dina cut Eddie off. “Is doesn’t it bother you that they are so, you know, touchy and flirty, knowing that they used to date?”

Eddie immediately felt like the wind had been knocked out of him as he processed Dina’s words. “Why should it bother me?” he finally asked faintly, knowing that he was being far from convincing.

Biting her lip, Dina’s eyes got wide. “Shit,” she cursed at herself. “You didn’t know. I’m sorry. I had no right to… I didn’t mean to bring up something… I really thought you knew. I mean, with what you were saying about your ex-girlfriend, it sounded like you wouldn’t care that Sin and Allie used to sleep together.”

Swallowing hard, Eddie gave Dina a weak smile. “It doesn’t bother me that they… that they dated,” he told the girl across from him. “It’s just… I’m not really sure why Sin never told me.”

“I never told you what?” Sin’s voice took Eddie by surprise, and he jumped a little.

“Just the story about you and Allie getting arrested,” Dina supplied immediately. Looking over at Eddie, she gave him a small supportive smile. It was clear she really hadn’t meant to cause any problems between Sin and Eddie.

“I didn’t think you were quite ready to hear all about my sordid past,” Sin laughed as she sat back down in the booth, not noticing that her choice of words had made Eddie cringe. “But if you are, I should be the one to tell it…”

As Sin started telling the story, with Allie throwing in comments here and there, Eddie tried to stay interested. But the truth was, his mind could barely process the conversation going on around him. Instead, all he could think about was what Dina had told him, and even more, why Sin hadn’t told him.

-----

“It was so great to see you,” Sin told Allie as they stood on the sidewalk outside the bar. “Next time you’re in town, call me. And Dina, it was good to see you again.”

“You, too,” Dina replied softly to Sin. “Goodbye, Eddie.”

“Bye, Dina,” Eddie said, his hands buried in his pockets, more for comfort than to hide from the weather. “Bye, Allie.”

As Allie and Dina climbed into a cab, Sin reached for Eddie. “Thank you so much for tonight,” she said to him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Everything was perfect – the gallery, the movie, the food, the show, and then running into Allie afterwards.” Burying her head into Eddie’s chest, Sin smiled. “I don’t remember having such a good night in a long time.”

“I’m glad,” Eddie forced himself to say, putting his arms lightly around Sin. “I wanted you to have fun.”

“Well,” Sin pulled back and grinned up at Eddie. “Mission accomplished. Come on, here is a cab.”

Once in the backseat of the cab, Sin gave the driver her address and snuggled close to Eddie. “I hope Allie and I didn’t bore you and Dina too much tonight,” she told him. “I know it can get boring listening to people talk about the past when you weren’t a part of it. I’m sorry if we went on too long about high school.”

“It was fine,” Eddie said softly, looking out the window at the passing street.

Looking over at Eddie with confusion, Sin studied his face. He was being unusually quiet, and now that she thought about it, he had been that way for the last hour or so. “Are you okay?” Sin asked Eddie. “You’re not talking much.”

Inhaling deeply, Eddie shook his head. “I’m fine,” he told Sin. “Just tired. Listen,” he leaned forward towards the front seat to speak to the driver. “I’m going to need you to make a second stop after you drop her off.” He gave the driver his address and leaned back into the backseat.

“You’re going home?” Sin asked incredulously. “Why aren’t you spending the night at my place?”

“I’m just tired,” Eddie repeated, not meeting Sin’s curious gaze.

Tilting her head, Sin got annoyed. “You’re lying to me,” she said in a hard voice. “I don’t know why or what I did, but you’re lying, and that fucking sucks.”

Eddie couldn’t help it; he let out a contemptuous chuckle. “Yeah,” he said, still staring at the street. “I’m the one who is lying.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sin asked Eddie indignantly. At that moment, the cab pulled up in front of her apartment building. “You know what? Fuck it. I don’t care. You keep saying you’re just tired; you act like I’m the bad guy and not tell me why; you just go home. I don’t give a fuck.” Throwing the door of the cab open, Sin turned to get out, but stopped when Eddie touched her arm.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you dated Allie?” Eddie asked nervously when Sin turned to look at him.

Immediately, all the anger in Sin’s gray eyes disappeared and was replaced by something else – something like fear, Eddie guessed. “How did you…?”

“Dina,” Eddie replied simply.

Nodding, Sin was silent for a moment as she gathered her thoughts. “Will you come inside, Eddie?” she asked in a voice so childlike, Eddie barely recognized it. “I’ll tell you everything, I promise.”

“Okay,” Eddie agreed, turning to the cab driver. “I guess this is the only stop for us tonight,” he said as he handed over a ten-dollar bill. “Sorry. Keep the change, and be safe tonight.”

-----

They had been in Sin’s apartment for ten minutes, but neither person had said anything. Eddie was sitting on the couch, watching Sin as she paced the living room floor. She was holding a beer bottle in her hands, but as far as he could tell she hadn’t taken a sip since they had arrived. She was treating the bottle more like a safety blanket.

Finally, the silence got to be too much for Eddie. “Did you not tell me because of Meredith?” he asked Sin, leaning forward a little and resting his forearms on his knees. “Did you think I would be bothered or something, since I had an ex-girlfriend who left me when she figured out she preferred women?”

Looking nervously at Eddie, Sin shrugged. “I guess that was part of it,” she told him, still pacing the room. “But not really. I mean… It’s just really complicated.”

Eddie rarely lost his temper, but Sin was pushing him pretty hard tonight. “Complicated?” he asked incredulously. “Because the words ‘I used to date Allie’ are so hard to get out of your mouth?”

The hurt and anger that passed over Sin’s expression made Eddie nervous, but it was when he noticed the tears in her eyes that his stomach dropped. “I’m sorry,” he said instantly, having seen Sin cry only a couple times before. “Please, I shouldn’t have said that. Please, come here,” he motioned to the seat on the couch beside him.

Reluctantly, Sin took the seat on the couch, although she leaned back in such a way that she was leaning away from Eddie. She was staring at her hands, obviously having a hard time figuring out how to say what she wanted to say. Eddie wanted nothing more to reach out and touch her, to sooth her, but he was pretty sure that in the state she was in, she would just pull away from him. So instead, he waited patiently.

“I met Allie my junior year of high school,” Sin finally began speaking, her voice barely above a whisper and her eyes still not meeting Eddie’s. “I was in a really bad place then. It was shortly after my… my, um, rape.” Swallowing hard, Sin willed herself not to cry. “I hadn’t told anyone, but I had started pushing away all my friends, especially guys. I just felt like I couldn’t trust anyone.”

Eddie could feel his heart pumping in his chest, and a tickle in the back of his throat as Sin spoke. He hated that Sin had been through so much pain in her life.

“Anyway,” Sin continued. “Allie was new that year, a transfer. So she didn’t have any friends either. And she started following me around, for some reason.”

“She had a crush on you?” Eddie ventured to guess.

Nodding, Sin tried to collect her thoughts again. “She did. But she never tried anything,” she explained. “She was just so sweet and funny… she was the only person for months and months that I felt comfortable around.”

Tears were threatening to fall over Sin’s eyelashes, so Eddie took a chance and reached for her hand. Looking up, Sin’s vision was blurry as she went on with her story. “Towards the end of junior year, Allie and I got drunk one night,” she explained. “And Allie kissed me. And honestly, it was the first time since… you know… that anyone had touched me in any, you know, private way, that didn’t make me feel dirty and disgusting. So I figured that maybe I was gay. So she and I started dating.”

“Allie will always mean so much to me,” Sin told Eddie after taking a deep breath. “Because she helped me get past so many trust and intimacy issues. She made me realize that wanting to kiss someone or touch them or be close to them… that that wasn’t wrong. She made me realize that I wasn’t to blame for what happened to me, and that what happened to me was not the same as me wanting to be close to someone else sexually.”

Tears finally began to slide down over Sin’s cheeks as she concluded her story. “After about six months,” Sin told Eddie. “I kind of figured out that I wasn’t gay, or even bi. I felt so guilty, like I had used Allie, but she was so wonderful. She just… she told me that she was so glad that she was able to help me.”

Suddenly, Sin dissolved into tears. Eddie pulled her into his arms, urging her to rest her head on his shoulder as he ran his hand tenderly over her hair and rocked gently. The only other time he had seen Sin get so upset was the first night she had told him about the rape. He wished there were something he could do to take the pain away, but for now, holding her was all he could think of.

Sin let herself cry for several minutes, let herself feel the pain of her past and feel the caring arms of Eddie holding her tightly now. She could feel his lips pressing to her forehead and soft soothing words coming from his mouth. Finally, she pulled back and looked up at him, knowing her face was tearstained and probably blotchy. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she sniffled.

“Don’t be crazy,” Eddie felt overwhelmed with guilt. “You didn’t owe me an explanation. I can’t believe what a dick I was, acting like I deserved to know everything about your past. I’m the one that’s sorry, Sin, for making you talk about all this; for making you go through all this pain again.”

Reaching up, Sin touched Eddie’s face gently. “You didn’t cause me this pain,” she told him. “There were only two people who did that – my mother and the guy who raped me. That’s it. But I just wonder…”

“What?” Eddie asked, not liking the resigned tone in Sin’s voice.

Letting out a sigh, Sin pulled back slightly. “I wonder if maybe you and I are too different to make it.” As Eddie began to protest, Sin put her hand up to silence him. “Eddie, we’ve been dating less than two months, and look at all the shit that’s come up – stuff with Zip, Zach’s visit, now this with Allie… We both are so different, I just wonder…”

Taking Sin’s hand in his, Eddie pulled it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “Do you think we’re too different to make it?” he asked softly, looking directly into her eyes. “Do you think that?”

“I hope not,” Sin answered honestly.

“Me too,” Eddie gave Sin a small smile and nudged her to move closer to him. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he rested his chin on her head. “I think you’re so amazing,” he whispered to Sin. “I think all our differences are phenomenal things. And I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks. Fuck ‘em, right?”

Looking up from Eddie’s chest and into his eyes, Sin hoped he was telling the truth. “You mean it?” she asked.

“I mean it,” Eddie promised, dropping his head to kiss Sin’s lips softly. “You know what? I want you to come to Ohio with me in two weeks when I go back to visit my parents. What do you say?”

Pulling back, Sin shook her head. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea, Eddie,” she told him. “You don’t know what your parents will think of me, and I don’t know how I would handle it if they hate me. Besides, look how fucked up Zach’s visit was. No, Eddie, I think it’s a really bad idea.”

“Zach is an asshole,” Eddie gave Sin a little grin. “My parents, on the other hand, are not. They will love you. Come on,” he begged. “I’ve never brought a girl home with me before. It would mean so much to me.”

The pleading look in Eddie’s warm brown eyes was just too much for Sin, and she shook her head with a small laugh. “Fine,” she said. “But just remember, when this whole fucking thing blows up in your face, I warned you.”

“I’ll remember,” Eddie grinned, scooting closer to Sin again. “But it won’t blow up. And it really means a lot to me that you’re willing to do this. You’re special to me Sin, and I want my family to know you.”

“That sounds like a line out of ‘Leave It to Beaver’,” Sin teased Eddie, but deep down, she was touched. She couldn’t believe that Eddie seemed to care about her so deeply. And what she wouldn’t even let herself think about was just how much she was really beginning to care about him.

-----

THANKS AGAIN TO THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED. A FEW COMMENTS:

IOTC247: NO CLIFFHANGER THIS CHAPTER, BUT THERE ARE STILL A FEW MORE TO COME IN THE FINAL CHAPTERS.

FOAMYFAN15010 AND LADY RAIN: I AGREE THAT ZACH WAS A JERK, BUT NOW I HOPE YOU LIKE DINA A LITTLE MORE.

CARIAD: THERE WILL BE QUITE A BIT MORE LIANNA AND JOSEPH SOON. I PROMISE!

THANKS ALSO TO EBONI, WOLF, JOEE, MIZTIKAL_DRAGON, ANGEL, NISH AND ADAEE, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO WERE SO SWEET ABOUT MY BOUT OF WRITER’S BLOCK.