Too Pretty

Barbie

He fucking thought I was a girl. How could he think I was a girl? I didn’t dress like a girl. I didn’t talk like a girl. I sure as hell didn’t act like a girl… did I? We watched football together; we worked on our cars together.

When I’d shown up for battle, no one had ever mistaken me for a girl. Most people who survived only remembered my blazing red beard and bald head. After centuries, everyone referred to me as the dread Redbeard, sometimes as a pirate, sometimes as a genie, sometimes as a devil, and sometimes as the arm of the emperor.

Since I had become human though, there had been a few people who had mistaken me for a girl. That hadn’t happened in a while. At least, I thought it hadn’t.

Okay, my hair was long, but there have always been men with long hair. So what if I didn’t have a beard? My stubble, when it grew, was light red and didn’t really show up. Thinking back, I hadn’t introduced myself, Crissy had. She hadn’t used my full name. I knew Barbie wasn’t considered a man’s name.

What I couldn’t figure out was why I was so upset that he had thought I was a woman. It hadn’t bothered me the times it had happened before. I tried to tell myself that it was a feeling of betrayal since we had become such close friends, but I knew it was more than that. I thought he had seen and accepted me.

My side really didn’t bother me. I’d had worse in all my years as a soul of fire. Once Crissy had finished patching me up, we went back to the living room. Steven began to fuss over her as her adrenalin crashed and she was a weepy mess. I took advantage of their distraction to slip out the door. I managed to return to my apartment with no fuss.

A few hours later, I was trying to go to sleep when my phone rang with a blocked number. What is with Trillian calling in the middle of the night?

“Hello,” I said.

“Some of the Xian Hua weren’t in the building. I will send you the addresses. These don’t need to look like accidents.” She paused, like she was going to ask something. “Will you reconsider working in war zones?”

Oh hell no. I wasn’t going to be dragged into anything like that again. That had been my existence before I rebelled. The agreement was no more wars; I would be human and only burn what needed killing.

“You think to ask me that? After atomic bombs were used? I will not be the flame for any country again. Have you seen what we did to those people? That was not clean, that was not pure. That was only abomination.” I would no longer be the fuel for the fires of war.

“Modern freedom fighters don’t use adulterated flames. It’s just fire again.” She was trying to be logical, but she was not talking to the being I used to be. Before my semi-retirement and the start of my human life, I might have been persuaded. Now, I would not. Soldiers are not evil, so I would not be a part of war any more, and civilians had a right not to be incinerated.

“Suicide bombs and terrorist attacks are not pure. They do not cleanse anything, only breed more hatred.” I paused. “I have no problems with our arrangement as it is. I will take care of the remaining Xian Hua.”

Time to burn brightly.

Two hours later, I was again on the outskirts of Beijing. This time, I had a list of addresses. Since I was still in turmoil about the situation with Steven, the first house was taken out in a huge fireball that reduced the whole building to ash almost instantly.

As I worked my way down the list, the burning was bringing a peace back to my soul. There were eight houses in all, each one burned hot and fast. And they died, and they died, and they died.. By the time I returned home to my apartment, I felt calm once again.

Maybe I could think rationally about Steven now.

I thought about him. I thought about him a lot. I thought about him more than I should have.