Coming Home

I'm sure no one wants to hear the crap going on in RL (cause everyone's got the own struggles) but seriously  business has taken off and between work and family I'm left with a few hours to maintain my sanity.  I'd like to thank my hella awesome beta MagicMau5 & encourage everyone to check out Off The Wall that just got a hella awesome update.  MM- curl the wave!

 

As for the story:  It will feel up & down because right now both Ven & Dylan will be in this flux.  Their meeting will be coming up though soon.  Thank you all for reading!

 

Responses to reviews:

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Songs for this chapter:

 

Ho Hey by The Lumineers

Hemorrhage (In My Hands) by Fuel

I Could Be The One by Avicii & Nicky Romero

Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy

 

 

 

 

Dylan didn’t remember walking out of the hospital room.  He just allowed the hand at the small of his back to steer him out of the place that was slowly suffocating him.  His heart felt bruised and battered and he was just so exhausted.  There was not one part of his being that was not aching.

 

His mind retraced his steps to that night in the kitchen.  He couldn’t help but do so when his heart was asking over and over the age old mystery of why.  He could almost see ragged and bleeding edges of his soul left in a trail that went back to that night six years ago. 

 

Slowly his eyes registered the setting Texas sun and it’s brilliant reflection in the windows of the hospital. For a second, you could call it beautiful and he desperately wanted to hang onto that perception.  But things like Nathan’s hands and his incessant questioning were drawing him back to reality and he wanted to hate the man for it.  He wanted to.  Almost needed to.  Almost.

 

When his blank eyes drew up to those gorgeous golden hues that seemed to have the sun shining out of them, he found that in all the things he thought he could not do, hating Nathan was the one thing he was absolutely and unequivocally positive he’d never be capable of.  It irritated something in him, this one positive and brilliant shining hope.  This one beautiful thing did not belong in his fucked up and dark world.  It was like that thing on Sesame Street.  One of these things does not belong.  In the ongoing train wreck that was his personal life, that thing was Nathan.  

 

Dylan tried to pull away from him, heading to his father’s abandoned car, the one he’d used to get to the hospital.  He tried.  When he felt the steel bands of Nathan’s arms, when he registered that the strange howling that sounded muffled was actually coming from his own mouth , when he saw the dark splotches on the cement below him and realized they were from his falling tears, he finally let himself go boneless.  His cries went silent and wracked his body while Nathan, his dear Nathan, could only look on in confusion.  

 

Nathan was utterly lost.  He didn’t understand where this outburst was coming from and, truth be told, he was a little embarrassed by it.  Dylan was crying like a wounded animal and he sounded like one, too.  It was absolutely unnerving.  He knew intellectually that the things Dylan had had to face were inhumane at best.  They would have been so whether it was a child or an adult being subjected to them  Emotional abuse was many times worse than physical because those wounds often times went ignored and unseen to all, including the victim.  There weren’t a lot of defenses against it as well, since emotional abuse could only be employed by using the victim's natural senses and emotions against themselves.  In short, it guaranteed that they would become their own worst enemy.  And Dylan had been so young when the abuse had started.  Hadn’t Nathan himself seen it? Hadn’t he vowed to eradicate it?  Where was his resolve now?  When his Dylan was in a state where he needed him most, how could he be embarrassed by his pain?  Shame flooded through Nathan and he softened his hold on Dylan and cooed softly in his ear.

 

 

Dylan was drawn from his pain by a soft voice and warm breath on his ear. Immediately he stopped struggling against the arms that were holding him.  When Nathan righted them both, he was infinitely calmer.  He was also vaguely embarrassed, but too tired to care.  This day had been difficult to say the least and, a nasty little voice in the back of his head reminded him, they still needed to talk.  He turned to look at Nathan.

 

Worried eyes looked over him and Dylan could see age starting to show in Nathan’s face.  His skin, while tanned and just as beautiful as ever, was starting to get lined and he looked tired.  Dylan felt guilt rush through him.  Here Nathan had been the one threatened and Dylan was the one having a melt down.  In the middle of a parking lot.  In front on Nathan’s job.  That embarrassment flooded back tenfoldand his whole face flushed red.  Fuck, he must think I’m completely unhinged. 

 

That thought, though, was the farthest thing from Nathan’s mind.  Yes, there was much to sort through.  Yes, there was much he did not know about who Dylan was or why he reacted the way he did.  But they could get to that place where they were on the same page.  He was confident they could and he gave himself over to the peace and pleasure of reassuring Dylan with a kiss.  He slung an arm over Dylan's shoulder and steered him back towards his own car.  It was time to take Dylan home.

 

****

 

Ven was sitting in awe as Harrison’s car was slowly making it’s way up the rocky and deeply grooved dirt road.  The sprawling ranch house and it’s surrounding gardens were lit up artfully and sitting against the velvet of the night sky. It was like an unknown desire was being drawn from the depths of his heart.  He’d never once vocalized his dream of coming home to a place like this.  He’d never even really thought it. But staring up at this architect’s wet dream he could not deny his brain was screaming, “I want that!”  

 

Although they lived on the cusp of West Texas, where rolling plains surrendered to the endless flat land, there were still a few random, elevated places that popped out of the landscape and were claimed as prime realty.  Seeing the varying levels of the house built into what was affectionately called Shawnee Mountain by the locals that was a hill at best, and coupled with the beautifully wrought but sturdy metal fence encompassing the quarter-mile driveway, Ven knew the man sitting next to him was loaded.  He’d known it on some level.  There wasn’t a thing about Harrison Caldwell that didn’t shout luxury.  But being faced with these unknown factors that many outsiders would most likely dismiss, he couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated.  

 

As the car rolled to a stop, his eyes caught a huge slab of white stone that was lit up and surrounded by lavender and Indian Paintbrushes and had something chiseled into it.  He was trying to make out the words when the soft voice of Harrison whispered in his ear, “Sur Les Rochers.”

 

Jumping at the sudden sensation, the feel of the warm breath on his neck, and the undeniably sexy way Harrison sounded with an accent he tried to conceal his squeak of surprise.  He unconsciously exposed more of his neck in invitation to the man leaning over him. It was gladly accepted and he felt light kisses being trailed up and down his neck.  A low moan escaped him and he shifted in his chair to turn toward Harrison.  He pulled back a little to face his companion who was staring at Ven’s lips as he licked his own in anticipation.  

 

“What’s it mean?” Ven rasped out in question.

 

Smirking, Harrison leaned in, leaving only a breath of a space between their lips, but keeping Ven‘s eyes pinned with his.  When he spoke his lips brushed against Ven’s, sending shivers down his back.  “It means ‘On The Rocks’.”  He swept his lips, brushing them softly against Ven’s, getting turned on even more as Ven’s eyelashes fluttered and his breath hitched.  He let his lips softly trail along Ven’s smooth skin as he leaned in more to whisper in his ear, “In French.”  

 

Ven was an utter and complete mess.  With Harrison teasing him with his lips he was sure he’d either spontaneously combust or melt into a puddle of goo.  The sensations he was feeling were overwhelming.  This car was overwhelming.  This house was overwhelming.  Harrison was definitely overwhelming and Ven began to panic.  What the hell was he doing here?  This, whatever the hell this was, was not a one night stand.  Last night had been the one night.  That was the thing about one night stands.  They lasted one night and that was it!  This was something else and Ven’s brain started going into overdrive.

 

His hand fumbled for the door handle and he desperately jerked it and tumbled out of the car.  He barely caught himself on the door from falling flat on his ass and he stood up quickly, leaving a surprised Harrison behind leaning over with puckered lips against empty space.  He gathered himself pretty well and elegantly climbed out of his car and shut his door.  Ven stared at the understated opulence that surrounded him and tried not to hyperventilate.  He so did not belong here. 

 

He felt a caressing but firm hand on his lower back.  It was too intimate for him and he side-stepped Harrison.  He didn’t get too far as that firm hand tugged his elbow back to his Harrison's side, a questioning look on the elegant man's face.  He didn’t want to be here right now and he jerked his arm away from Harrison.  Who the hell did this guy think he was?  Did Harrison think he was God’s gift to men and Ven was just some sloppy piece of ass to played with only when Harrison said so?  Fuck that, he thought.  I decide who taps this and when.  I’m the one leaving in the morning and no one and nothing can stop me.  

 

Ven turned away from Harrison and began walking towards the main road.  He got about ten steps before he heard the crunch, crunch of gravel signalling Harrison coming after him.  

 

“Hey! What the hell, Ven?”

 

“What the hell?  What the hell?!  No means no asshole.  If I’m walking away, take a fucking hint and back the fuck off!  I don’t owe you a goddamn thing.  You got your ass last night and I’m pretty sure I didn't make you any promises.  So back. The. Fuck. OFF!” He turned around, shaking and scared.  He hoped Harrison didn’t smell the fear that was rolling off of him in waves. 

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.”  He heard Harrison say as he ran up to stand in front of him, but made no move to try and stop him physically again, hands up in a conciliatory manner.  “I don’t know what just happened there, but I'm trying to figure out why the hell you are trying to run away the wrong way.  You wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

 

“No!” snapped Ven, crossing his arms.  He was fully aware how childish he sounded and looked.  The only thing he hadn’t done to look like a four year old was stamp his foot, although, truth be told, he wasn’t far off from doing that.  He merely stopped and turned away from Harrison.  Smooth, Ven thought.

 

“Okay, okay.” Harrison said, to Ven’s utter frustration, with a smile in his voice.  “Do you want to come in? No pressure or expectations.  Or maybe you want me to take you home?”

 

He stood there, arms crossed, fidgeting under Harrison’s soft gaze.  Harrison was torn between wanting to crush the younger man in a hug and kiss him stupid or bear him over his knee and spank his ass raw… and then fuck it raw.  Harrison knew there was a reason why he’d back peddled so fast.  He saw the fear in Ven's eyes.  It’d brought such a deep flare of anger toward whoever the bastard was that’d hurt his precious bunny that made him so frightened of intimacy.  He’d love nothing more than to euthanize in the most inhumane way possible the fucker who’d made Ven feel scared, inferior, and the whole host of emotions that was causing him to tremble like a leaf in the wind.  That was for another time, though.

 

Ven realized how stupid he looked, huddling there away from Harrison.  He tried to relax just a little, but the tension wouldn’t leave his body.  He didn’t turn around, too embarrassed to look Harrison in the eye, but he did say softly, “Can you just take me home?  Please?”

 

Sighing in defeat, because letting his bunny get away was not how he wanted to spend the night, he nodded, vocalizing his assent since Ven had yet to turn around to face him.  He walked past the young man, head down. Ven watched the immaculately clad Harrison walk slowly to his car.  He felt that hated guilt and shame settle in his heart again and said haltingly, “He- Hey.  I can… I can suck you off… I mean, if you want.  I’m sorry-  I just don’t really-”

 

Harrison froze.  His shoulders went rigid and it scared Ven.  Would he demand to fuck Ven?  Would he laugh at his paltry offering?  Ven really didn’t want to piss this guy off or have him laugh at him, but he’d give him whatever he wanted if he’d just take him home.  He could just imagine a cruel laugh coming from Harrison’s beautiful lips…

 

Harrison stood there, shocked and furious beyond words.  He turned slowly to look at Ven, who paled when he saw the rage marring that beautiful visage.  Ven put his hands up in a placating manner.  “Okay, you can fuck me.  Please just-”  He stopped speaking when Harrison drew up to him fast.

 

“What the hell are you playing at?”  he bit out through a clenched jaw.  “Didn’t you say no?”

 

“Yeah, but-” Ven started.

 

“But what?” Harrison snapped.  Ven’s mouth closed with an audible snap.  Clearly, he’d pissed off the wrong guy and he hoped, but doubted, he’d walk away without bruises.

 

Ven watched as Harrison closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  The anger that’d been contorting his face was smoothing out and Ven was distracted by how beautiful Harrison really was.  Then those eyes popped open and pinned him in an intense gaze.

 

“Ven.  You told me no, I’m guessing when things got too intense for you.  Now, you’re offering yourself up for a ride home.  I’m willing to back off if you want me to, but you can’t give me mixed signals and not expect me to be upset.” 

 

Ven just stood there looking at him.  What could he say to that?  It was true, he was sending huge, country-sized mixed signals.  It was a mind fuck neither of them deserved and Ven felt about 2 inches tall.

 

“I'm not upset at being told no.  I'm a big boy and I can take a hint.  The thing that upsets me," Harrison continued, not really waiting for a reply, “is that instead of telling me to back off & explaining why you’re freaking out, you just lashed out at me, like some little kid throwing a tantrum.  And then, when I do respect your wishes, you still offer yourself up like some cheap piece of ass.  Like you've got no self-respect whatsoever.” he finished softly. Silence reigned once more, as Ven stood there looking at the ground with all the fight gone from his body.  He felt so tired and could feel himself falling asleep.  He heard the crunch of the gravel and saw two black leather dress shoes stop in front of him.

 

“Ven,” Harrison called softly.  When Ven still could not meet those baby blues, a hand tilted his head up.  He closed his eyes to keep Harrison from seeing the tears that’d started gathering.  He felt a forehead rest against his and his urge to cry grew stronger.  It was so soft and intimate, patient and foreign.

 

“Ven.  I’m not angry at you.  I’m mad that you felt like you had to do something you didn’t want to do to get something you needed, but I promise, I’m not angry at  you.  I don’t like being pushed away with no explanation at all.  And I hate that you think so little of yourself because you are worth so much more than that.  I’m not angry at you.  I just want you to look at me right now.  Please?”  

 

Ven sniffled a little and slowly opened his eyes.  He caught the concerned look from Harrison as he pulled back, but it was quickly washed away as a sweet and warm smile transformed his beauty to a higher degree.  Warm, surprisingly calloused hands caressed his face and he couldn’t help but smile back, albeit sheepishly.  

 

A thumb brushed away a stray tear and Harrison leaned in and pressed him lips softly to Ven’s.  It held the promise of heat and intensity, but remained chaste.  Pulling back, Ven took a deep breath and said softly, “I’m sorry.”

 

Still smiling, Harrison kissed him quickly once more and replied with a sigh, “I’m not going to say it’s all right because I don’t want you shutting down on me again when you get scared.  You probably don’t trust me right now and I get that.  But I want you to try, at least.  I’m not gonna bullshit you, Ven.  I want you and not just in my bed.  I swear I’ll be patient and I’ll never walk away from you.  But I gotta know that you’ll try to do the same with me.”

 

Confused, Ven looked in his eyes.  Harrison chuckled at his confusion.  “You just thought this was one of your wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am deals didn’t you?”  Shaking his head, Harrison took Ven’s hands in each of his own and wrapped them around Ven’s back, keeping them rested on the small of his back.  Ven felt… safe.  His shoulders relaxed and he allowed Harrison‘s body to envelope his own.

 

Ven thought of Harrison’s words.  No one had ever told him he was worth anything.  They’d told him he was hot, sexy, fuckable even.  But never worth anything.  He couldn’t bring himself to actually believe it, but it felt nice to think that someone else did.  Maybe Harrison could believe enough for the two of them until Ven could as well.

 

Harrison rocked Ven slightly from side to side and kissed his hair, holding him firmly.  He wanted it to be soothing and he knew he was achieving success when Ven put more of his weight on Harrison.  He’s got to be exhausted, Harrison thought. 

 

“Ven?” He whispered.  “Do you want me to take you home or do you want to stay, no sex required at all?  Just to stay safe with me tonight?”

 

Well, when you put it like that… Ven thought sardonically. His feeling of security increased tenfold.  Harrison was handling him perfectly without Ven even realizing that it was how he’d wanted to be treated all along.  He was giving voice to desires that Ven didn’t even know he wanted or thought were an option.  It scared him how protected he felt.  What if Harrison dropped him?  It wouldn’t be an unrealistic scenario.  People walked out on the ones they were supposed to love all the time.  What was stopping Harrison from leaving?

 

Feeling Ven tense, Harrison pulled back just a moment.  Ven was looking at him with years of unnamed fears reflected back at him and he was once again angry at the people who’d hurt his lovely little precious.  But Harrison was comforted in knowing beforehand what he would be encountering and knowing that it was all worth it.  Ven was worth it.  The short time they’d had the night before had left no shadow of a doubt in his mind. He just had to make sure that Ven felt the same.

 

“I’ll stay.” Ven whispered.