Only the Heart Knows Why, Quax's Days

Only The Heart Knows Why, Quax's Days
Thirteen: With Trumpets Blaring

It's only two days before they let me out of the hospital. I refused to tell them anything about my parents so the staff seemed to have assumed that Kanau and I are together and have allowed me to go if I leave with him. I guess they have some policy on not letting those who have attempted suicide out without someone to keep an eye one them. I'm surprised Kanau agreed to walk me home though, since I haven't seen him since the day before yesterday when he just up and left. I didn't think he'd ever want to see me again.

"Well since the clothes you came here in are ruined," the nurse said, handing me a bag of clothes, "your friend Kanau brought these from your home."

I arched an eyebrow at her and looked down at the bag. Those clearly weren't my clothes, but there was a note sitting on the top.

Quax,

Didn't think you'd want to see your folks so I went out and got you these clothes.
Hope you like them.

Kanau

I smiled lightly, for the first time in days. That Kanau... He must really care after all.

I reached into the bag and pulled out a t-shirt. It was a soft pink colour and had a cartoonish picture of a sheep on it. I'm not really a fan of sheep but I love it just for being from Kanau. There was also a matching skirt, a pair of underwear, and some cheap looking sandals. I shouldn't really expect much, considering, but this really made me feel a lot better. Maybe he really does care. I jumped back into a bathroom to change out of the horrible hospital gown and pull on my new clothes. They were a little too big but Kanau didn't know what size I am. Or maybe he just thinks I'm getting fat...

I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled lightly. I looked like a right mess right now, with my hair all stringy and messy, and my skin looking terrible; not to mention the blotches under my eyes from about two days of crying. I felt better today though, and not because I got to go home; I was dreading that in fact. It was school I was looking forward to getting back to. And work. I just hope they would understand about being in the hospital seeing as I've missed my last two days while being here.

After freshening myself up the best that I could, I went out and hugged the nurse goodbye that had been trying so desperately to make me feel better. It wasn't her fault it didn't work as I spent most of my time here shutting her out. I thanked her all the same and made my way outside where Kanau was waiting for me. He was leaning against the wall staring off into space. Probably still thinking about his boyfri - Er, ex-boyfriend...

"Kanau," I called lightly, "you okay?"

He blinked and looked at me slowly, as if just noticing I was there. "Sorry," he muttered. "I was thinking about something..."

"Oh, it's okay," I say cheerfully, bouncing lightly on my toes. "I just wanted to make sure; and thanks for the new clothes, they're great!" I grinned up at him, but was probably showing a bit too much teeth.

"Oh please," he muttered again. "I have no sense of fashion." He reached out and took my hand, leading me away from the hospital; I felt my cheeks blush lightly at his touch.

"No, no really," I lied. "They're really nice."

"You hate them, he grunted, glaring down at me lightly.

"Well," I said slowly, deciding to be honest, "sheep aren't really my thing." He just rolled his eyes, though.

We walked in silence for a while and I slowly started to get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I don't know this area of town too well, so I didn't recognize anything. I trusted Kanau wouldn't lead me into an alley and have his way with me but, to be honest, I kind of wish he would. I would take anything now if it meant I wouldn't have to go home and face my parents. I honestly had no idea how I would explain my absence, but knowing them they'd probably be more worried about all their pills missing than what I could have done with them. What I had done with them...

"So, Quax, what colour is the sky on Mars?"

I blinked hard and looked up at him, as confused as I'd ever been. Um... What?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, tilting my head slightly.

"Just take a guess."

I blinked again. I had no idea what he was talking about but, if I remembered my elementary school lessons, didn't they call Mars the red planet? Or was that Mercury... I never was good at astronomy though. Let's see, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter... Um... Saturn... Screw it, it's the red one. "Is it pink? Red?"

Kanau chuckled lightly. "I did some research on the internet," he said, giving me a light smile. "There was a picture with a pink sky, so I went with that, since it's obviously your favourite colour."

"Went with it for what?" I almost screamed at him, wondering just what he was talking about.

"You'll see," is all he said with a wink.

I've been pretty confused in my life but I promise you that if you'd just been released from the hospital and had a question like that thrown at you, you'd probably be pretty confused too. I mean, what would he be talking about? Maybe it's how he decided on the colours for my new clothes. But then, everyone knew pink was my favourite colour. It was kind of a hard thing to miss. And what was that about Mars? The last time I'd heard anything about planets was last week when Hikari was trying to get me into that horoscopes thing. I never really got that stuff though, but Hikari seemed to love it.

Suddenly Kanau stopped walking. I looked up at where we were and my eyes widened. "An apartment building?" I asked, turning to look at Kanau. He just nodded and led me inside and took me to a door on the ground floor. He took a key from his pocket and unlocked the door, pushing me inside.

The apartment was tiny. When we walked in, I couldn't hold myself from gasping; there was a small kitchenette and what I guessed was a living room. There wasn't anywhere to sit though, but there were a few large pillows scattered around the room. It was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen. My eyes looked over every surface, into every corner; the ceiling was even painted pink. Now that Mars thing sort of made sense! "Welcome to your new home, Quax," Kanau said, putting his hand lightly on my shoulder. "I had them put it in your name. You have a job so it shouldn't be too difficult for you to pay the rent.

"T-This is," I stammered, at a momentary loss for words. "You did that?"

I didn't wait for a response, I couldn't. This was amazing, truly the greatest thing that had ever happened to me and it was from him, it was all from him. I ran into the apartment, trying to take it all in at once, not that I could. There was my new bedroom, my new bed; I checked in the closet and there were my new clothes. My new towels were in the bathroom and my new soap and shampoo was there, ready for use whenever I used my new shower. I jumped on the bed, I smelled the clothes and ran the shower. I was home only I wasn't home, I was in my home and I was free; I was finally free from my father!

I bounced back out to the living room where Kanau was. I wanted to throw my arms around him, to squeeze him tight, bury my face in his chest and tell him I loved him for doing this for me. I wanted to yell it and scream it, to get to my knees and cling to the laces of his boots to show him just how much this means to me. "Oh, thank you so much Kanau!" I exclaimed, grabbing the front of my shirt and twisting it lightly to stop myself from making the situation awkward.

"No problem," he said, smiling lightly. "My old radio is in the bedroom closet whenever you want to listen for like weather or something. It still works, I already tested it"

This was crazy. Nothing like this ever happened to me. I mean, I was just some worthless nobody. No one cared about me, right? But, if no one cared, why did he do this for me? I brought my hands up to my face, still clutching the front of my shirt, and felt as tears started falling down my cheeks. These weren't normal tears, though. I felt like, for the first time in years, I was really, truly happy.

"What's wrong?" Kanau asked softly, seeing my tears.

"Nothing's wrong, I-I just..." I stammered, wiping the tears from my eyes, "no one has ever... done something like this for me before."

"You definitely deserve better after all that," he said with a smile. He turned and stepped back towards the door and tossed two sets of keys to me. I caught them and looked down at the keys in my hand. The keys to my apartment... "I'll see you later."

I looked up to see him pulling the door open. But, after all this, I didn't want it to end there...

"Hey, Kanau, wait," I said, hurrying over to him by the door. He stopped and glanced back as I put one of the keys into his hand. "Keep this one," I told him, "just in case."

He holds it in his hand for a moment, watching me, before slipping it quietly into his pocket. "Just in case," he repeats quietly and turns out the door, pulling it closed behind him. I just stood there, staring at the door for some time after he left. This was real. It was all real. I stepped backwards slowly and leaned against the wall, sliding to the ground. I was home. My home.

I stopped trying to hold the tears in.