My Life Is You - COMPLETE

A/N: Only 4 reviews this chapter. Either people didn’t like it or I’m just updating way too fast. Votes on which it is anyone? Oh well, either way here’s the next chapter. I hope you like this one! And, whether you do or not, please review and vote. Pleasepleasepleaseplease!

Oh, and a warning: This chapter is not for those that don’t like ‘hott steamy man sex’. Just thought I should put that in there just in case.

pesterme2: I’m glad you thought Seth’s reaction was realistic! I know if I had walked in on that my behind would be turning right back around and walking out again. Oh, after I bitch-slapped the woman going after my man and my man for letting himself be caught, but you get the idea. Yeah, I think Belinda and Eric’s story is tragic. I know that things like that happen to people everyday (my mom is an ER doc, so I hear all sorts of stories), and some couples survive it and others don’t. My characters did, but only because they were the type that could have survived it in the first place (as you well know, it’s pretty much impossible to tell characters what to do!). Yeah, I really like Jeremy too. He’s a stand-up guy.

kiki: forget looking forward, the moment has arrived! Hope you like the way they do.

JJ: mmmm, double chocolate chip! I love these things! *grabs the plate and starts mowing down while trying not to talk with my mouth full* do you have a crush on Jeremy? This is like the second or third time you’ve mentioned him in a review. Not that either Jeremy or I minds! And luckily, in the end, Seth isn’t stupid.

Avernion: that seems to be the consensus and I know I do too!

And now on with the story!



Chapter 13

Seth shut the door to Jeremy’s car and moved up the walk to his house. Turning back, he waved good-bye one last time as Jeremy backed out of the drive and motored down the street.

Then Seth sat on the porch steps. He couldn’t go into the house. Not quite yet, anyway.

Dillon was in there, waiting, and Seth still didn’t know what he was going to say. Of course, that was because Seth still wasn’t sure exactly how he felt.

Hearing Dillon say those words to Brad had torn him up. It had hurt more than any physical injury ever could. Everything inside him had felt shattered and Seth wasn’t sure how to put it all back together.

But he could understand how the words could be misconstrued. He could see himself telling Nathan “I’ll always love you” and meaning every word of it. Of course, he and Nathan had never dated. Their relationship had always been a deep friendship and nothing more.

Could he demand that Dillon break off all contact with Brad? Normally, exes naturally drifted apart and there was no need to worry. In this case, though, Brad and Dillon shared the same circle of friends. It would be difficult for them to avoid each other.

Maybe all he wanted them to be now was acquaintances. Seth snorted at the thought. You just couldn’t go backward like that. Talk about weird dynamics; that would create the strangest one of all.

So, sighing, Seth admitted he was stuck with Brad being in Dillon’s life. It was just the way things were going to be. Nothing could change that.

The real question, then, was whether Seth could live with having Brad in Dillon’s life. If he couldn’t, he should deal with it now. As much as it would hurt, he should break it off now.

At the thought, Seth felt a searing pain in his chest. No, he couldn’t end it. He loved Dillon. He would always love Dillon. Ending their relationship would tear him apart more than anything else.

Then he’d have to find a way to deal with Dillon’s relationship with Brad.

That’s when it hit him. It was all about trust. Did he trust Dillon? Hell yes he did! So then, what was there to worry about? Nothing!

No, that was wrong. There was a lot to worry about. Based on his reaction this morning, Dillon would now think that he didn’t trust him.

Seth groaned and dropped his head into his hands. He could be such a fool. But, he was at least a fool who was wise enough to know that you couldn’t receive forgiveness without first asking for it.

Rising, he turned to the door. Opening it, he walked into his house.

***

At the sound of the front door opening, Dillon carefully put his glass down onto the table beside the couch. He nervously wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on the material covering of his pants as he fought to swallow his last sip of water.

The footsteps ascending the stairs could only belong to Seth. Dillon would recognize the energy behind them anywhere. It was muted a bit at the moment, but it would always be there. No matter what was happening in his life, Seth would still have a certain vitality that could never be stolen from him.

Then Seth was there. He stood in the doorway of the family room and Dillon scented him the way a wolf scents its mate. Seth's warmth seemed to reach out to Dillon across the room and enfold him. Dillon wasn't even sure if things could be salvaged between the two of them, but just being close to Seth again created a greater feeling of peace than Dillon could ever have imagined.

Unseen by either man, Eric slipped quietly from the room so that they could be alone.

"Do you really love him?" the sound of Seth's voice was ragged and hoarse. The question was a cry from Seth's soul.

"Yes, as a friend, I do," Dillon replied. He could have denied it. He had even considered it for the briefest of moments. But what good was a relationship based on lies? It wouldn't last because it would have no true foundation. Dillon wanted them to have a relationship that stood the test of time, which meant the foundation needed to be rock solid.

"Even after he abandoned you?"

Dillon lowered his head. If he could have seen, he would have been staring at his hands. "When I gave Brad my friendship, I accepted him, all of him. That includes his flaws. He's not a strong or a brave man. I knew that, even if I never fully realized how weak he is.

"I won't ever depend on him again. It would be useless for me to do so, because I would only be disappointed. But I won't turn my back on him just because he's not as strong as I would like him to be."

"Do you give that loyalty, understanding, and forgiveness to all you love?" There was a note in Seth's voice that Dillon couldn't recognize. He would almost call it longing, but that wouldn't fit the conversation they were having.

"I hope I do," Dillon said. "I try to."

"Then, please Dillon, I'm in need of some of it now. Don't turn away from me because I was stupid enough to turn away from you. Forgive me for jumping to conclusions and walking out. I love you and need you so much!"

Hearing the tears in Seth's voice, Dillon rose and moved forward. He extended his hands, reaching out toward Seth. Just after his second step he felt his fingers touch Seth's, who had moved to meet him.

"You have more from me than anyone," Dillon said. "You have a love that no one else has. When I said I'd love you forever, I meant it."

He would have said more, meant to say more, but it was difficult to talk when your lips are pressed against those of someone else. After just a second in Seth's arms, any thought of speech was gone from Dillon's head. His whole body, mind, and soul were concentrated on Seth and the feel of Seth's body against his own.

Breathing, however, is a necessity of life. All too soon, it came down to a decision of whether to keep kissing Seth and die happily in his arms or pull back and replenish himself. Dillon might have opted for the first choice if he hadn't realized the second choice could lead to future occurrences of kissing and so much more.

They rested their foreheads together, sharing the air they sucked into their starving lungs. "I have to warn you that I'm a jealous man," Seth stated after he caught his breath. "I can handle your still being friends with Brad, but there will be times when I'll have trouble with the way he looks at you."

"How does he look at me?" Dillon asked, confused.

"Like you still belong to him," Seth explained. "Brad still thinks you're his and even if you don't feel that way about him, it's going to bug me some."

"I don't think you have to worry," Dillon assured Seth. "Brad knows that you're the man I love and that all I'll ever feel toward him is friendship."

A jaw-popping yawn suddenly emerged from Seth, surprising them both. "I'm sorry," Seth apologized. "I didn't realize I was tired."

"Tired and hungry, probably," Dillon responded. "It's been a long, hard day for having just come out of the hospital. I think I need to take care of my man."

"I like the sound of that," Seth murmured in a low voice, stroking his hands up and down Dillon's back. "I like being called your man and hearing that you want to care for me."

"I do. I always want us to care for each other," Dillon said, his own hands gliding up and down Seth's strong arms. "Unfortunately, though, I don't know where anything is here, so taking care of you is going to consist of my yelling for Eric,"

Seth laughed, the sound lighting up Dillon's heart. "Whatever works,"

***

An hour later Dillon sighed in contentment. Eric had provided a simple lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. The comfort of a warm, childhood lunch had hit exactly the right spot.

Now, he was nestled down with Seth in bed. Seth's arms were wrapped around him as they spooned and the soft, even sound of Seth's breathing told Dillon that Seth was deeply asleep.

Dillon snuggled back against Seth's chest, reveling in the feel of bare skin against bare skin. A very light coating of hair was tickling his back. Arms that were satiny skin encasing steely muscles banded around him. The light puff of Seth's breath against the back of his neck kept sending shivers racing down his spine.

He was tired. When they had come in here, Dillon had believed he would sleep along with Seth. Now, though, he just wanted to revel in the feel of being here with Seth.

Eventually, though, the overly emotional day got to him. Feeling safe, secure, and well loved, Dillon drifted off to sleep.

***

Dillon murmured in his sleep, stretching and moving slightly. His body was tingling pleasantly and he fought not to wake. Grasping the object in his hand, he brought it up and bit lightly into it as a bolt of pleasure shot through him. Only when he heard a low chuckle did Dillon realize that he had just taken a bite out of Seth's hand.

Then he realized where Seth's other hand was. Moaning, he sucked one of Seth's fingers into his mouth, running his tongue up and down the length. The slightly salty flavor of Seth's skin caused Dillon's mouth to water.

Against his ass, Dillon could feel Seth's cock hardening and lengthening. He had no idea how big it was, but it felt plentiful at the moment.

Then Seth moved his hand again, his fingers circling the knob of Dillon's cock. Dillon's hips spasmed lightly in reaction, his cock thrusting forward into Seth's hand.

Turning over onto his back, Dillon drew Seth over him and down into an intense kiss. Their tongues mated as they sank into each other. Seth's lips were firm and warm against Dillon's own and Dillon couldn't resist pulling back just enough to lightly nip Seth's lower lip.

Then they deepened the kiss again. Dillon could feel all the love Seth was pouring into that kiss. He reveled in the emotion they shared as they allowed themselves the luxury of just kissing.

Never before had they had a moment like this. Always before, there was something pulling at them, demanding their time and energy. Now, though, they had the leisure to explore each other and their mutual feelings. Nothing was rushed or hurried. Each kiss was lengthy and languorous.

Reaching up, Dillon wrapped his arms around Seth's neck. Their chests pressed together, hardened nipples rubbing against each other. Seth's cock was firm against Dillon's left thigh and his own cock was rising to rub against Seth's hip.

Dillon felt Seth's hand moving over his hip and underneath him. Seth's fingers were stroking over one of Dillon's ass cheeks and Dillon did his best to raise his hips, hoping that Seth would take the hint.

Then Seth did. One of his fingers trailed down the valley separating Dillon's ass cheeks. Dillon sighed into Seth's mouth, his hand tangling in Seth's hair. He didn't know what color Seth's hair was and up until this moment he hadn't even realized that Seth wore it long, reaching almost down to his shoulders. It must have been back in a ponytail each time they had kissed previously or been in contact during therapy sessions. Now, it hung down, free and silky, thick between Dillon's fingers.

His other hand stroked down Seth's back, savoring the feel of the muscles he found there. Seth's body was firm and hard against his own, yielding lightly to Dillon's touch, but never giving more than Dillon wanted.

Then they rolled together so that Dillon now lay atop Seth. His leg slipped down between Seth's, his thigh brushing against Seth's hard cock. Bracing his hands on either side of Seth's shoulders, Dillon leaned down and sucked at the spot beneath Seth's chin. He allowed himself the chance to leisurely kiss his way down Seth's neck, savoring the warmth of Seth's skin.

A musky scent arose in the bedroom. It was made up of their arousal and their sweat as they moved together, restraining themselves from sprinting to the finish line. This wasn't a race to be won or lost, but rather a journey, one they wanted to completely experience.

Sitting up, his legs straddling Seth's torso, Dillon allowed himself to explore. He ran his fingers down Seth's chest, seeing with his fingertips what his eyes no longer could. Seth was well built, muscular, but not cut like men who were body-builders. While it was obvious that he exercised and cared for his body, Seth's muscles weren't only from a gym.

The hair covering Seth's chest was light, only thickening around his nipples. There was almost no more until just below Seth's navel, where it led in a trail to his penis.

Dillon didn't stop here, though he longed to. He very much wanted to wrap his fingers around that tube of flesh and stroke it, bringing Seth great pleasure. More, though, he wanted to learn all of his lover. He wanted to experience his man completely.

Seth's legs were long and corded with muscle. He was more densely furred here, his hair crisp against Dillon's palms. Along one knee, part of the skin felt different. Dillon realized that it was a scar of some kind. Seth must have hurt himself badly some time in the past. Leaning down, Dillon kissed the raised flesh, wanting to use his mouth to tease away any past hurts.

"Turn over," Dillon asked, sitting up again. He raised himself off Seth's legs so that he wasn't blocking movement. Seth complied and Dillon sank back down. Lowering his hands, he slid them up the back of Seth's thighs to the perfect ass that sat atop them.

Then Dillon did something he had never done before. He leaned down and ran his tongue along the crack of Seth's ass. He knew others had done it, had even had it done to himself. Up until that moment, he would have said there was no way he would ever consider doing it to another. But with Seth, everything was different, everything felt natural.

Dillon didn't know what he had expected. There was no unpleasant taste or smell, just the pleasure of feeling Seth jump slightly beneath him. He repeated the action, sending his tongue a bit deeper this time. Now he caught a hint of musky flavor, but he found it intoxicating rather than disgusting.

"Mmm, Dillon," came the response from Seth. Dillon smiled, his lips curving against the flesh of Seth's ass. He was pleasing his man and that was all he really wanted at the moment.

Carefully spreading Seth's cheeks farther apart, Dillon again extended his tongue. This time he came in contact with the puckered flesh surrounding Seth's hole. He explored, circling his tongue. Dillon could feel the hole opening and closing as Seth writhed beneath him, emitting sounds of pleasure.

Then Seth suddenly rolled beneath him. Dillon pulled back to give Seth the room he needed. Seth responded by pulling him up and into a kiss, Dillon's body completely draped over Seth's once again.

Seth's breathing was rapid as they kissed and Dillon could feel how closely he was hanging onto his control. Their hands were becoming more frantic as they searched each other's bodies, learning how to pleasure each other.

Seth didn't like having his nipples played with. That was one thing Dillon hadn't expected. He had moved down to kiss one and Seth had tenderly moved him away. When Dillon had aimed for the other one, Seth had murmured, "No love, elsewhere if you don't mind."

Dillon didn't mind. Seth's body was a veritable feast and there was no reason for Dillon to go hungry. Instead he had moved up to nibble on Seth's ear, suckling gently at the lobe.

Dillon could have happily spent the rest of his life pleasuring Seth, but his cock had other ideas. It was becoming heavier and more insistent as each minute passed. It wanted relief and wasn't going to take no for an answer much longer.

Seth must have sensed that because he reached down and wrapped his hand around Dillon once again. His fingers squeezed lightly as he stroked. Dillon bit his lower lip and fought to control himself. "Seth," he gasped out. "You're going to have to stop or I'll explode."

Dillon felt Seth's hand reluctantly pull away from him. "I want you to explode, but not just yet. Dillon," Seth swallowed before continuing, "Dillon, I want you inside of me when you explode."

Dillon stopped. He hadn't been expecting this, especially not their first time together. That Seth would want to give himself that way was so amazing to Dillon.

"I haven't done this in a really long time," Dillon admitted. "Brad was a total top and now I can't even see what I'm doing. Are you sure you want to chance it?"

"We are part of each other," Seth replied. "I want us to share all that we are, and that includes your being inside me. There will be times when I'll want a chance to be inside you, but right now I want the other more. Please Dillon, do this for me."

There was no way Dillon could argue that. They really were two halves of a single whole and it seemed natural that they join. Today, at this moment, Seth would be the lock and he would be the key.

"Do you have anything?" Dillon asked, still braced on his hands above Seth.

"Don't you know that a gay man is always prepared?" Seth responded with a smile in his voice. He reached an arm over his head and Dillon heard a cupboard in the headboard being opened.

A bottle was pressed into Dillon's hand. It was sizable and Dillon chuckled. "You're a very optimistic man, aren't you?"

"I saw this at Costco and I couldn't resist. I figured I wouldn't have to worry about shopping for supplies for a long time after I bought that monster. I even have a huge box of condoms that I bought there as well." With that, Seth handed Dillon a packet.

Sitting up, Dillon carefully tore into the packet. He didn't want to risk tearing the condom as well. Putting it on should have been easy, but Dillon found he was having trouble doing so. His hands shook from a combination of nervousness and excitement. Also, he was having trouble telling by touch which side of the condom was which.

Finally, Seth gently took it from him. Dillon blushed as Seth rolled it down onto his cock. "Shhh," Seth soothed him, "there's nothing to be embarrassed about. We'll help each other."

Next, Seth lovingly applied the gel to Dillon's latex-sheathed cock. His fingers were thorough and by the time he was done Dillon was once again fighting not to orgasm.

"Your turn," Seth said, handing the bottle back to Dillon.

Squirting some onto the fingers of his right hand, Dillon reached down with his left hand to find Seth's opening. Then he followed his left arm down and did his best to smear the gel onto Seth. Seth responded with a moan when Dillon eased a finger into him.

Never before had Dillon so carefully concentrated on the act of opening a man. He had always done it while continuing to enjoy himself in other ways. Now his whole being was concentrated on making sure Seth was ready for him.

The inside of Seth's body was warm and moist. His anal ring was stiff at first, refusing to give way to Dillon’s single finger. Once it loosened, however, he was able to slide a second finger in with much less resistance.

It was obvious that Seth was enjoying his attentions. Gasps and moans kept falling from Seth's lips as his hips moved in time with each thrust of Dillon's fingers.

Soon, Dillon could wait no more. He carefully moved over Seth, bracing his weight on his left arm. With his right hand, he grasped his own penis and guided it to Seth's waiting hole.

His aim was off. The head of his cock bumped against Seth's balls, but Dillon simply carefully slid himself down. Soon, he felt Seth's opening and Dillon pushed gently against it.

Dillon was actually perfectly made to be a top. He wasn't incredibly thick, but he was thick enough that he provided a wonderful feeling of fullness to his partners. More importantly, he was long, his penis reaching almost eight inches when fully erect.

Sliding in a quarter of the way, Dillon paused. He furrowed his brow, bit his lip, took deep breaths, and fought the urge to slam himself home. Instead, he pulled out to the head and then eased himself back in, going a bit farther. He did this four more times, going deeper with each slow thrust until he was finally seated completely within Seth's welcoming body.

Seth reached up and drew Dillon's mouth down to his own. They took the time to kiss long and leisurely as Seth's body adjusted to Dillon being inside him. Their tongues dueled as Dillon began very small thrusts.

They moved together, finding a rhythm that they both enjoyed. Seth reached down and grasped Dillon's hips, helping him to change his angle of penetration. Dillon smiled, knowing what Seth wanted. He adjusted himself and thrust deep, his cock head and part of the shaft sliding over Seth's prostrate.

"Dillon!" Seth cried out, his body arching up. "Oh, love, yes!"

That was when Dillon lost all the control he had been so carefully hanging onto. His strokes went from slow and deep to fast plunges, the bed shaking with the force of their bodies moving together.

For the first time since the accident, Dillon saw something. He saw stars as pleasure engulfed him. His whole body became one giant mass of nerves, overloading in bliss.

"Seth, come with me!" Dillon cried out, knowing he was close to orgasm.

Maybe that was all that was needed. Each just needed to know that the other was on the brink of fulfillment in order to obtain his own pleasure. With those words from Dillon, Seth cried out a final time, his body convulsing around Dillon as cum shot from his cock.

Dillon felt Seth's shudders and let go. He thrust deep and hard, his body exploding. Even as he felt warm cum hit his chest, it shot from his own cock head. His body trembled as he emptied himself, his whole world shaking with the force of his orgasm.

Gasping for breath, Dillon fell onto Seth. Immediately, Seth's arms banded around Dillon and drew him closer. No words were spoken, neither had the breath or the energy. No words were needed, however. What they had just shared transcended anything words could communicate.

***

They slept again, their bodies still locked together. Seth had carefully rolled them to the side so that he wouldn't be crushed. Wrapped in each other's arms, their bodies linked, they fell into oblivion.

When he finally awoke, Seth reluctantly pulled back, feeling Dillon slip from inside him. Dropping a kiss on Dillon's cheek, he rose and padded into the bathroom.

Having taken care of business, he moved back into the bedroom. For a moment he just stood over the bed and stared at the man he loved. Dillon's features were softened in sleep, all the pain of the past months melting away.

There were times when Dillon seemed so lost. Seth couldn't help wanting to reach out and offer to be Dillon's guide. He rarely did it, however, knowing that Dillon had been a fiercely independent man prior to the accident. Now, he needed as much independence as he could manage.

Seth worried that Dillon's need for independence might cause them problems. Every fiber of Seth's being insisted that he hold and help Dillon in whatever way possible. Their two impulses warred against each other. Seth had done well to restrain himself as much as he had in the past, but he couldn't promise to do so well in the future.

Climbing back into bed, he drew Dillon to him. Lovingly he traced the contours of his love’s face with a finger. Then he smoothed his hand over Dillon's muscled shoulder and down his arm.

It was apparent that Dillon had continued his exercises. His body was firm and well defined. Even relaxed in sleep, his muscles were hard beneath his skin.

"I love you so much," Seth softly whispered, moving closer to Dillon. "I don't ever want to lose you again,"

Maybe he should have waited and said those words once Dillon was awake, but something inside wouldn't let him. He needed to speak them now, to know that they had been said.

Laying his head against Dillon's chest, Seth counted his heartbeats. They were strong and steady, just as Dillon was. They echoed against Seth's ear, assuring him that his love was close.

Even in his sleep, Dillon drew Seth closer. Earlier, Seth had held Dillon. Now, their positions were reversed and Seth was the one being held. It was a wonderfully secure feeling.

Unfortunately, the ringing of the doorbell intruded before long. Seth seriously considered ignoring it, but he knew many of his friends had been very concerned about him. It would be unfair to whoever had come to visit for him to just ignore his or her presence.

The doorbell rang a second time just as Seth was easing himself out of Dillon's arms. The combined noise and movement were just enough to wake Dillon up.

"Where you going?" he mumbled sleepily.

"There's someone at the door," Seth replied, dropping a tender kiss onto Dillon's lips. "I was just going to see who it is,"

Dillon ran a hand down Seth's bare back and over his ass, giving it a light slap. A smile curved his lips. "You may want to put some clothes on first,"

Seth just laughed and pulled away. Pulling a pair of cut-off sweatpants from a drawer, he slipped them on before heading downstairs to answer the door. He was whistling along the way.

***

Dillon smiled and stretched, his naked body arching up off the mattress. Several joints popped as he bent his body to an extreme angle before settling back down onto the bed.

MMMM, he was feeling good! His body was relaxed and limber in a way it hadn't been in a long time. He had a sleepy, sated feeling going that he didn't want to give up.

After considering lingering in bed, where the sheets and pillows smelled pleasantly of Seth, Dillon rejected the idea. A smell was nice; the real thing was nicer. Why should he lull around up here when the man of his dreams was downstairs?

Before they had crawled into bed together, Dillon had carefully folded his clothes and placed them on the dresser so that he would know where they were. Rising, he edged his way over to the big, heavy piece of furniture. Dillon knew he smelled of sex, but didn't feel comfortable just hopping into Seth's shower. Of course, the fact that he wouldn’t be sure which bottle held what or where the towels were was a huge consideration as well!

Once dressed, Dillon tried to make his way out of the room. Seth's house was unfamiliar to him and he'd been so full of his love of Seth when they had climbed the stairs together that he didn't really remember the journey. Eventually he was able to find the door and go out it into the hall.

This was the dangerous part. Dillon knew that the stairs weren't far away, but he had no idea how many steps it was to them. Placing his right hand on the wall, he began to slowly creep forward, trying to feel for that first step.

He would have been fine if he hadn't allowed himself to become distracted. Unfortunately, at the sound of Seth's happy laughter Dillon unconsciously sped up at exactly the wrong moment. His foot never even landed on the first step and the next thing he knew there was nothing but air beneath him.